Um ... all right:
"Forgive my indignation if this message comes to you as a surprise and may offend your personality for contacting you without your prior consent and writing through this channel.
After series of prayers/fasting. i was divinely directed to contact you among other names found in the data base Yahoo tourist search. I believe that God has a way of helping who is in need."
Dude ... God is so yanking your chain on this one.