For the love of God, ...

... don't look directly at them!



P.S. Nice bra, Ann. At least you know your audience.

Here, let me tighten that up for you.

Shorter hypocritical, Canadian wankers: "As frothing, rabid defenders of Israel who go completely, totally and utterly batshit, panty-yanking, shirt-rending crazy at the merest wisp of a tentative suggestion of anti-Semitic criticism of absolutely anything Israel ever does under any circumstances, how dare anyone tell Ann Coulter what she can and can't say!"

I'll take door number three, Suzie.

Regarding claims of Catholic priests buggering children, staunch Catholic Suzie All-Caps writes:

But we need to get to the bottom of this. Are these "false memories" or malicious slanders?

Or maybe something else! I hear there's a third possibility.

When evil, deranged, retarded web designers go bad.

Jesus Christ.

Apparently, Blogging Tories think Muslims should be executed.

No, of course none of them actually wrote that, but let me lead you along the road of irrefutable logic, if I might.

As I read it, quite a few Blogging Tories are howling over, well, this:

Ann Coulter is speaking in Canada this week, and a senior University of Ottawa administrator has warned her to use “restraint, respect and consideration” when speaking at the school.

In an email sent to Ms. Coulter on Friday, a copy of which has been obtained by the National Post, Mr. Houle wrote: “Our domestic laws, both provincial and federal, delineate freedom of expression (or “free speech”) in a manner that is somewhat different than the approach taken in the United States. I therefore encourage you to educate yourself, if need be, as to what is acceptable in Canada and to do so before your planned visit here.”

He continued, “Promoting hatred against any identifiable group would not only be considered inappropriate, but could in fact lead to criminal charges.”

Apparently, quite a number of BTs are just peeing themselves over this disgusting, leftard attempt at censorship. But let's see just how firmly they believe their position, shall we?

Let's say Coulter was backstage, getting ready to go on, and turned to one of the organizers (say, a Blogging Tory) and said, "You know, I'm not sure what I'm allowed to say and what I'm not. Is it OK if I publicly call for all Muslims to be violently executed?"

Pause.

Now, my dear Blogging Tory, if this were being asked of you, you have an awkward decision to make. Because if you caution Coulter against such incendiary statements, you have, in fact, just done exactly that which you are currently howling over. It would be more than slightly hypocritical to mock anyone advising Coulter to remain civil and not incite hatred if you, when asked directly, would give her exactly the same advice.

So here's the question I will publicly challenge any and all Blogging Tories to address: If you were backstage with Coulter before a Canadian speaking engagament, and she turned to you and asked you if it was all right to publicly call for the mass murder of all Muslims during her talk, how would you answer? And let's see how quickly you get dragged down in the morass of your own hypocrisy and logical inconsistency.

Is there a single BTer up to the challenge? I'm guessing not.

Ron from UWO, take it away!

Yesterday's e-mailer "Ron" from UWO gives us the dirty low-down:

Hi CC,

This is a reply I tried to post in the thread on the post you made, but could not due to length limits.

This is Ron from UWO. I assure you that it was real. And there were many people at the event that were of comparably limited civility. They endorsed this event as an opportunity for civil discourse, but the only person who showed any respect for civility was Ezra Levant.

During set up, one of the hosts - his name was Andrew Loewen (I've probably spelled that wrong) - made the following quips:

* "Testing. Testing. Obama is a socialist. Testing." (lots of crowd approval)

* After apologizing for a few set-backs in them getting things underway, he said that they must have a liberal on their staff... Big pop from the audience.

* In reminding people that no laptops were allowed, he said that if a security guard catches you with your fingers in your laptop, you may lose your fingers when he slams it shut on them. And of course many in the crowd laughed approvingly. Good old conservative authoritarianism.

Other statements, mostly from Coulter:

* Throughout the event, the speakers kept giving the impression that conservatives are the original and most loyal defenders of free speech, while liberals continue to trample it. There was a recurring theme of liberals being stupid, incompetent, hypocritical, and uninterested in protecting free speech. Coulter also dropped a few fairly mild insults to gays.

* During the Q & A a 17 year old female Muslim student quoted Ann Coulter's statement encouraging 1) the US to invade the Islamic nations, kill their leaders and convert their citizens to Christianity; and 2) for Muslims to be banned from airplanes, and that if they need to fly they should take their magic carpets. The girl asked if 1) she should be forced to convert, and 2) given that she doesn't have a magic carpet, what should she do if she needs to fly somewhere. Coulter didn't much address the first question, but addressed the second one by telling her to take a camel! (not that camels fly but, you get the drift).

There were some inappropriate behaviours done against the event. One person sent out a fraudulent email telling everyone that the event had been moved to a different far-away facility. Inappropriate, uncalled for and immature. Also, apparently a politician in Ottawa - don't know who or what rank - tried to put limits on what Coulter would say. I'm not sure how he went about this. However, I think she should be able to say what she wishes.

General event information:

Every seat in the auditorium was filled. A friend told me that there were 700 seats, but I think that might have been an over-estimate.

My estimate is that something like 60-65% of the crowd were Coulter-supporters.

Ezra Levant introduced Coulter. Y'know, the only thing that made me question him was that he spoke well of Ann Coulter. I tended to either agree or to disagree but not be outraged by most of the rest of what he said.

Coulter got multiple highly enthused standing ovations, and very energetic and approving responses to comments that progressives in the audience found ridiculous. I'm new to London. I had no idea how many far right conservative Christians there were around here. I saw a number of people holding Coulter books to be signed. One person wore an NRA hat. A number asked questions in which they described the pathetic watered down healthcare bill as a socialist takeover.

What did Coulter talk about? She spoke of double standards in holding liberals versus conservatives up to scrutiny for encroaching upon political correctness boundaries (e.g., how Harry Reid was easily forgiven for his comments that Obama has a good chance of being elected because of his light skin complexion and his ability to turn off his black accent; a few other comments by other liberals such as Bill Clinton were given, and she compared the media response to the big Barrack the Magic Negro Rush Limbaugh thing). That was a big theme. And then there was just lots of liberals are stupid, incompetent, naive, and not strong at protecting freedoms. Oh, another big thing was that she accused the US news media of not subjecting Obama to much scrutiny, but just cheering him on and telling him "good job" for everything he does. She also said that he did not bring executive experience to the Presidency, and she spoke of the way the media spoke of the milestones of this first black president as if they were speaking of the milestones of an infant ("look! he's taking his first steps!").

Coulter said a number of things that I chuckled at. The funniest thing she said, in my opinion, was "Whenever a Democrat gets elected, my taxes go up and my World Trade Center goes down!" That's funny stuff.

Kathy Shaidle didn't do anything attention-grabbing, nor was she involved in the presentation.

There's a brief admittedly poorly organized summary of the event.

-Ron

Oh, wait ... additional hilarity at no extra charge:

Hi CC,

One thing that I forgot to mention. I don't know how this went by me, but that line that she made that I thought was funny - the "when liberals are in power my taxes go up and my world trade center goes down" - uhhh, Bush was in office at 9-11, and had been for 8 months... This leads me to wonder if perhaps I misheard her, but I don't know what else she might have said. Whom else is she going to attribute raised taxes to? The fact that no one seemed to call her out on that one makes me wonder if I might have misheard something, but I don't know what else she could have said...

-Ron

Dear UWO:

Please identify any UWO students who were there and applauding Ann Coulter ... and expel them. Those are not teachable people.

AFTERSNARK: I'm still waiting for Ezra Levant to hurry up, take Coulter's advice and get "perfected." God knows, he's inferior enough as it is.

BONUS TRACK: Really, you can never get enough of this:

Sure, let's talk about civility.

I truly love my readers. Via private e-mail, "Ron" from UWO sets the stage:

I am currently a student at the University of Western Ontario in London Ontario. Today Ann Coulter will be speaking at our campus. I am forwarding you a mass email that I and all other attendees just received from Kathy Sheidle [sic] (fivefeetoffury.com). For American bloggers who may not be familiar with her, she's basically Canada's Michelle Malkin or Ann Coulter. [Ed: Um, no. She's way uglier.]

And away we go:



That is seriously adorable, isn't it?

BONUS IRONY: So Kathy is a big fan of 1) Ann Coulter, and 2) Jews. Perhaps she can ask Coulter about this:

Coulter: We want 'Jews to be perfected'

... When [CNBC host Donny] Deutsch responded, "It would be better if we were all Christian?" Coulter said "Yeah."

Deutsch, himself Jewish, continued to press Coulter on her remarks, asking, "We should just throw Judaism away and we should all be Christians then?"

"Yeah," Coulter responded, adding "Well, it's a lot easier. It's kind of a fast track."

"You can't possibly believe that," Deutsch responded. “You can’t possibly. You’re too educated.”

"Do you know what Christianity is?" Coulter replied. "See, we believe your religion, but you have to obey. We have the fast track program."

Later in the interview Deutsch asked Coulter if she doesn't want any Jews in the world, Coulter responded, "No, we think - we just want Jews to be perfected, as they say."

"Wow, you didn't really say that, did you," Deutsch said.

Yeah, Donny, she went there. Deal with it.

Here, let me tighten that up for you.

Shorter Suzie All-Caps: "As someone who believes unconditionally and unquestioningly in the existence of an invisible, immaterial and intangible sky monster, a virgin birth, water magically becoming wine and the Sun standing still, I really haven't seen enough evidence for this so-called, alleged abuse to take those accusations seriously."

Do I have that about right?

New Album Debut!

[Moved up to hang out here for a bit -- newer infantile snark below. And updated to include wicked, kickass video.]

After many months of work, I am really proud to announce the release of a new album of 13 original songs. I'd like to thank CC, my bloggospherian friends, our readers and commenters for support, encouragement, mockery and hijinks. CC liked this song so...



Here's the skinny. The songs are only available, for the time being, through Bandcamp. To celebrate the release, the first four songs are available as free downloads in the format of your choice (yes CC, that includes Ogg Vorbis, nerd) the individual tracks are available on a 'pay-what-you-will' basis with a 50 cent minimum. The whole album, 13 new songs plus 4 bonus tracks, is also 'pay-what-you-will' with a minimum of 5 Canadian dollars. Shaken is licenced under the Creative Commons with an attribution non-commercial licence. That means you have permission to make copies of the songs, you can share copies of the songs and you can even cut them into pieces, twirl them about and use them in derivative works provided I am credited. What you can't do is turn around and sell copies without my permission. And if you would like to have a copy of Shaken but don't have Paypal, drop me a line and I'll get a download code to you. Cheers! Thanks! Enjoy!

"And now, an eliminationist that needs no introduction ..."

Canada's Blogging Tories would like to take a short break from bitching, whining, kvetching, moaning and in general yanking their panties and clutching their pearls about how lefties can be such mean people and use bad language, in order to welcome Ann Coulter to Canada.

Yes, that Ann Coulter.

Feel free to come up with your own snark here.

P.S. As I read it, the Dumbass-o-sphere is currently all a-twitter over someone's threat to have Coulter arrested for hate speech. And if they get their hands on the person responsible, by God, they'll beat the living shit out of them.

As opening lines go, ...

... really, is it even possible to be less self-aware?

"Don't hate me because I'm a desperate, two-faced hypocritical hack!"

Shorter David Frum: "Is it too late for me to try to salvage my credibility? Please?"

The joy of Sitemeter, 2009.

Oh, for fuck's sake ... grow up, Mr. Jago:

Ranking Canada’s “Top” 25 Political Blogs

January 6, 2009 by Dirk
...
Are we to believe that Werner’s blog makes both lists,17th and 15th,while SDA,yuk,a blog that receives upwards of 10,000 hits daily appears on neither ? Are we to believe that Werner’s blog out ranks Calgary Grit,Inkless Wells,Canadian Cynic,or Dawg’s etc etc ?….of course not.
...
Robert Jago on January 8th, 2009 10:03 AM
...
B: I freaking hate Canadian Cynic, in fact I’d love to see that site dropped from the list. But facts are facts, people read that ass of a blog and it makes the list every month. Not enough people are reading my site at the moment, so it got dropped this month. Facts etc … If I were cooking the results, my site would be on the list, and CC would not.

And fuck you, too, Jago. There. Now I feel better.

When stupid Blogging Tories blog stupidly.

Not content with hideously misrepresenting blogger Jeff "BCer in TO" Jedras, then defaming Liberal MP Dan McTeague to the point where McTeague gives him a sound spanking, Blogging Tory "Paul" demonstrates that he has learned nothing as he whips out his dick and slaps it down on the table, yammering on about how it's just not fair that other people get to be irresponsible:

"Conservatives: Our principles do not apply to us."

Really? McTeague felt the post was unfair, because even though the campaign literature had indeed contained incorrect info, the lawsuit launched against him was dismissed. And while the person who pursued the lawsuit against McTeague seems to have a personal vendetta, the fact remains that Jaffer was only convicted of careless driving. And yet McTeagues Liberal party members seem to have him convicted of cocaine possession.


Liberals, our principles are lower than the other guys, so don't complain about us.

Let us try (in vain, I'm guessing) to educate Paul on the absurdity of this claim of his:

And yet McTeagues Liberal party members seem to have him convicted of cocaine possession.

They have done no such thing, Paul. Rather, they have simply pointed out what seems to be an undeniable fact -- that Jaffer had cocaine on him when he was stopped.

"But wait," you screech (incredibly stupidly, I might add), "that charge was dropped!!1!!!1!" Why, yes, it was, and for a number of possible reasons, including:

A rookie Ontario Provincial Police officer failed to follow proper procedures during a strip search of Jaffer, 38, causing the Crown to conclude the case would be open to a Charter challenge, the Star has learned. While the OPP opposed Jaffer only being charged with careless driving, the Crown took a steadfast position, sources say.

In short, improprieties during the bust made the Crown think that it would be difficult to make that charge stick, so the Crown reluctantly let it slide. But (and here's the tricky part, Paul, so pay attention) the dropping of the charge did not make the cocaine magically disappear. In fact, no one is denying that there was cocaine. Jaffer beat the rap on a technicality, which in no way allows him to now claim that the cocaine was never there.

See how that works, Paul? At this point, Rahim Jaffer can -- quite accurately -- claim that he has never been convicted of possession of cocaine, because he hasn't been. Conversely, though, the rest of us -- based on all of the reporting available to us -- can safely state that Jaffer was in possession of cocaine when he was pulled over.

No one need "convict" Jaffer of anything, Paul. We need simply observe that all of the evidence suggests that he had coke in his car when he was stopped. That's not a legal argument, Paul. It's just an observation. And it involves no hypocrisy whatsoever.

Sadly, only people who are not truly stupid will understand the distinction.

JESUS, MARY, MOTHER OF GOD: Paul is still yammering on in his comments section, utterly unable to understand the simple concept I'm explaining here. Somehow, the word "stupid" seems sadly inadequate.

This is the definition of "stones."

Great moments in Conservative accountability.

Stephen Harper lays down the law:

The PMO says Prime Minister Stephen Harper will issue an edict to his ministers, reminding them that they're not above the law.

"Say what!?" bellowed Minister for Public Safety Vic Toews, speeding through a school zone with a 14-year-old in his lap and brandishing a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels out the window, "Who the fuck's idea was that!?!?"

Come on ... somebody had to mock it.

Pope: "Shocked, I am, by these accusations!"

What's your favourite passage?

(Wag of the tail to CNN.)

Dear bocanut: Let's talk about stalking.

A blogging colleague yesterday dropped me a note, claiming that he'd just received an e-mail from one "bocanut," containing said colleague's actual, physical address and asking if that was really him. That's just plain creepy, bocanut, and you should seriously consider whether that's a road down which you wish to travel.

Oh, by the way, this is bocanut. He's single and looking. Apparently, being a creepy, obsessive stalker is considered attractive in Alberta.

A single line, if you would, ladies. No shoving.

The joy of journamalism!

Whoopsie! Heh. (Figure it out.)

DOUBLE HEH. As commenter Chris points out, Blogging Tory "Paul" is having a bad week when it comes to defaming people on the Intertoobz and getting spanked for it.

These really are hopelessly stupid people, are they not?

BONUS RETARDEDNESS: Who else but Brenda/"Hunter" could suggest something this moronic in the comments section there?

Ah...the threat of legal action ... It seems lots of lefties use the threat of legal action knowing that the average blogger is just someone trying to get their opinions out to the public. Look at what they are doing to Ezra Levant.

Conversely, one could word that, "It seems lots of righties are so mind-numbingly, nad-crushingly stupid that they frequently bring the threats of legal action upon themselves."

Yes, that reads so much better, does it not?

Conservatives to grieving widow:

Fuck you and your grief.

You have no idea what kind of satisfaction it gave me to write that.