Saturday, February 28, 2009

Ignatieff FTW! Land Air and Water. Fuck It. Don't Forget To Vote

The world's smartest blazing idiot Michael Ignatieff has come out with the utterly ridiculous statement that...

"The oilsands are an integral part of the future of Canada," he said. "No other country in the word [sic] would toss away this advantage."

I suppose he might be technically correct if one considers cancer blooms and a toxic watershed a future and an advantage. And perhaps he is also technically correct that other nations would willingly defile their air, land and water for the furtherance of greed and stupidity. Heaven knows that China's toxic environment is something to envy and India's filth is something to aspire to. Thank the little zombie Jeeziz that the Liberals got rid of Dion and his quaint notions of environmental stewardship. At last the Libs can compete on an even playing field with the Cons. Two ego bloated, self adoring, self important blowhards duking it out, one on one and to the victor go the the spoils. The rest of us? We get to live in what they've spoiled. Lucky.

See, Ignatieff is a patriot. That's why he came back to Canada after living the majority of his life abroad. Not only is the guy a patriot and a believer in human rights (unless there's information to be gleaned by "enhanced interrogation") he's also a friggin' psychic.

"We're going to be there for a century or more," Ignatieff said.

That's a hundred years of scraping at the Earth and boiling filth to feed our need to burn oil. I can only guess how attractive the province where I was born will be after a hundred more years of this madness. I for one am totally convinced that the earthen dams holding back the lakes of toxic tailing sludge will be more than up to the task of containing the poison and filth for a hundred years and more. What could go wrong? So... stand up!

"We need to be able to stand up for the oilsands and ask the oil industry to do better. These communities need to become environmentally sustainable, but they also need to become socially sustainable."

Yeah fuckers! Stand up for the tar sands, sing a song for the bitumen, bitches. Socially sustainable, that can only mean one thing, a new arena for Fort McMurray! And hey, you oil industry guys, you better do better. Okay? Or else...

Ignatieff said that he supports hard caps on greenhouse gases, which the industry says will limit production increases.
However, he said that the federal government must negotiate any cap-and-trade system with the oil industry.

Damn straight! Hard caps. Negotiable hard caps. Hard caps that won't affect production. Or profits. Those kind of strict measures, guaranteed to, um, do stuff. Good stuff. Hey look a picture of a douchebag making a fist. Leader! Leader!

"We will be watching in Opposition to make sure (a cap-and-trade system) won't hurt Alberta," he said. "We need to work with the industry, and not against the industry."

Ooh. The hall monitor is on the case. And gawd forbid we go against the grain of the oil industry, that would be a tragedy. And how could Alberta get hurt? Why when those three-armed babies are of age, they'll make excellent casino workers. But what is all of this blather about?

"I think you can't win elections if you are adding to the input costs of a farmer . . . or a trucker," Ignatieff said in a news conference in Edmonton Friday. "You got to work with the grain of Canadians and not against them."

Interesting. Now we have two federal parties in permanent electioneering mode. I feel better already. Here's a clue for you Iggy, you sanctimonious, grasping asshole. You are now marching directly across the grain of one hell of a lot of Canadians that don't want to be responsible for a multi-generational toxic disaster. But by all means, get down on your knees and suck for all you're worth. At this point you're no better than the asshole currently in charge and the fact that you'll do or say anything at all to win an election is all we need to know to tell us that you aren't worthy of winning. Fuck you and fuck the Liberal Party of Canada.

The slogan I'll be choosing for the next election: Anyone But A Conservative Or A Liberal.


Boris said...

Nicely put.

What the fuck is it with the [lack of] political imagination in this country that they cannot conceive of any other way of doing things than turning half Alberta into a festering sore?

sooey said...

Iggy's an American stooge.

mikmik said...

Rae is spinning in his grave.

Real_PHV_Mentarch said...

Hear, hear, PSA.

Romantic Heretic said...

It's like my favorite writer says, "(Canada is) burdened by the laziest élite of any developed nation; people who have made their fortunes by selling off the country's resources and by working for more energetic foreigners. They are most comfortable on their knee,s admiring those from larger countries who have purchased them."



Oemissions said...

Applause' Applause.
Bravo! BravO
Take a bow.

Scruffy Dan said...

So this is what he meant when he talked about courting the west

Jennifer Smith said...

RH - sounds familiar - was that J.R. Saul?

There are only two ways out of this, I'm afraid: somehow build up the NDP to the point where they have a hope in hell of forming a majority government nationally, or have the centre-left rise up and reclaim the Liberals. I'm working on the latter because I consider it the most feasible, but at this point I'd be happy with either solution.

900ft Jesus said...

ok, I'm convinced. I never liked M.I., but kept hoping...I don't know...for a fucking miracle?

Good post. It kicked my ass.

Beijing York said...

Right on psa! Harper and Ignatieff are liars and opportunists who would be more than alright with Canada being controlled by US interests.

The other thing both leaders have in common is misplaced belief that voters are stupid.

Harper just has total disdain for us and scolds those who should question him. Ignatieff writes that the average person is incapable of grasping the so-called complexities of political issues and resort to emotional responses (see his mea culpa over his support for Bush and the Iraq invasion).

Both men have a strong authoritarian streak and are envious of the power the US president wields.

Dee said...

What do you mean 'misplaced belief' Beijing York? Not misplaced at all, some Canadians are Stupid. Canadians allowed themselves to be led by the nose and that nose was harvested for all the snot some of the parties could find.

I find it ironic the most despised politician in the universe was invited to speak in Calgary while the provincial government is promoting the cleanliness of the sands.

Great post psa.

Mark Richard Francis said...

Great post. Saved me from writing the same.

I am now openly wondering why we even keep AB in confederation, if this is what we get.