Playing with paper clips and wall outlets.

You know, you'd think that, having allegedly grown up in Winnipeg, this Blogging Tory would know better. I mean, as someone who spent my formative years in that neighbourhood, I learned there were some things you just didn't do, like sticking your tongue to a metal post in January, that kind of thing.

So when the Tories have been flat-out busted covering up the RCMP pension fund scandal, the proper response from any Blogging Tory with sense would be to simply avert your eyes. That is, do the BT shuffle, turn away, pretend you have no idea that it's going on and spend your time writing about, oh, Stephane Dion or something until it all blows over. Just ignore it, that's what you do.

What you don't do is jump face-first into the story and try to salvage the unsalvageable, as Carolyn does, with hilarious results:

Apparently, the Grits have decided to use this issue to discredit the Conservative Party.

Um ... yeah, Carolyn, that's kinda the point. When you've been caught being hypocritically sleazy and howlingly corrupt, you really should expect a little bitch slapping. That's sort of the way this game is played. It's called "politics" -- I'm sure you've heard of it.

As discussed on Mike Duffy on Wednesday, the Conservatives had voted against allowing RCMP officers to testify and kept this issue from coming forward sooner in committee.

Attagirl, Carolyn ... you're still following the trail of bread crumbs. So far, so good. I'm proud of you.

Many feel that this was some kind of cover-up on the part of the Conservatives, and is being spun as negative.

Yes, yes, oh yes ... by George, I think she's got it! You go, girl! What can possibly go wrong?

I beg to differ on this one.

Oh, shit ... and Carolyn was doing so well. So what sort of madness down this road lies? Let's read on:

Though I do not have all the facts on this issue, ...

No matter ... don't let that stop you, sweetie. Force of habit and all that.

... as an outsider hearing about what the Conservatives did in Committee, I feel that it was a wise decision.

Of course you do -- around here, we call that "drinking the Kool-Aid." But I digress. Onward:

Considering Zaccardelli was too cozy to Chretien, I fail to see why the Conservatives would then try to save him or other RCMP officers within the executive for partisan reasons. It doesn't make sense.

Ummmmm ... considering that Zaccardelli has been implicated in this latest fiasco, it's difficult to understand why the CPoC would want to sit on this. You're right, Carolyn -- it doesn't make sense, but not for the reasons you think. But let's not interrupt Carolyn's train of thought as it careens out of control:

Then there is the other logical reason the Conservatives did what they did.

Oh, be still, my beating heart. What rapier-like logic awaits? Oh ...

I believe the blocking measure taken at committee was only temporary to allow for the government to double check its facts before allowing something damaging as this to come into public scrutiny. Knowing that the Conservatives are all for transparency and accountability, it makes no sense to suspect them of never allowing this issue to come forward and be dealt with. The key, was to ensure it will be dealt with properly.

Well, of course, that must be it -- the Cons were just being patient, rigorous and meticulous, getting all their neo-con ducks in a row, despite what that National Post's Don Martin wrote (emphasis added):

A one-vote margin of victory on a last-ditch in-camera motion finally allowed RCMP officers to spill the beans in public last week to trigger a national ruckus and an independent investigation. Had the vote gone the other way, the code of RCMP silence would have covered Parliament Hill indefinitely.

Apparently, that's not a coverup, it's just being "careful." Because, as we all know, it takes years of cautious prep time before you can do something as horribly irresponsible as ... what was it? ... oh, right, allow documents to be entered into the public record. You really don't want to rush that kind of thing, right, Carolyn?

You know, I try to avoid stereotypes but, I swear, I feel a blonde joke coming on. Someone, please, stop me.