Saturday, February 28, 2009

Ignatieff FTW! Land Air and Water. Fuck It. Don't Forget To Vote

The world's smartest blazing idiot Michael Ignatieff has come out with the utterly ridiculous statement that...

"The oilsands are an integral part of the future of Canada," he said. "No other country in the word [sic] would toss away this advantage."

I suppose he might be technically correct if one considers cancer blooms and a toxic watershed a future and an advantage. And perhaps he is also technically correct that other nations would willingly defile their air, land and water for the furtherance of greed and stupidity. Heaven knows that China's toxic environment is something to envy and India's filth is something to aspire to. Thank the little zombie Jeeziz that the Liberals got rid of Dion and his quaint notions of environmental stewardship. At last the Libs can compete on an even playing field with the Cons. Two ego bloated, self adoring, self important blowhards duking it out, one on one and to the victor go the the spoils. The rest of us? We get to live in what they've spoiled. Lucky.

See, Ignatieff is a patriot. That's why he came back to Canada after living the majority of his life abroad. Not only is the guy a patriot and a believer in human rights (unless there's information to be gleaned by "enhanced interrogation") he's also a friggin' psychic.

"We're going to be there for a century or more," Ignatieff said.

That's a hundred years of scraping at the Earth and boiling filth to feed our need to burn oil. I can only guess how attractive the province where I was born will be after a hundred more years of this madness. I for one am totally convinced that the earthen dams holding back the lakes of toxic tailing sludge will be more than up to the task of containing the poison and filth for a hundred years and more. What could go wrong? So... stand up!

"We need to be able to stand up for the oilsands and ask the oil industry to do better. These communities need to become environmentally sustainable, but they also need to become socially sustainable."

Yeah fuckers! Stand up for the tar sands, sing a song for the bitumen, bitches. Socially sustainable, that can only mean one thing, a new arena for Fort McMurray! And hey, you oil industry guys, you better do better. Okay? Or else...

Ignatieff said that he supports hard caps on greenhouse gases, which the industry says will limit production increases.
However, he said that the federal government must negotiate any cap-and-trade system with the oil industry.

Damn straight! Hard caps. Negotiable hard caps. Hard caps that won't affect production. Or profits. Those kind of strict measures, guaranteed to, um, do stuff. Good stuff. Hey look a picture of a douchebag making a fist. Leader! Leader!



"We will be watching in Opposition to make sure (a cap-and-trade system) won't hurt Alberta," he said. "We need to work with the industry, and not against the industry."

Ooh. The hall monitor is on the case. And gawd forbid we go against the grain of the oil industry, that would be a tragedy. And how could Alberta get hurt? Why when those three-armed babies are of age, they'll make excellent casino workers. But what is all of this blather about?

"I think you can't win elections if you are adding to the input costs of a farmer . . . or a trucker," Ignatieff said in a news conference in Edmonton Friday. "You got to work with the grain of Canadians and not against them."

Interesting. Now we have two federal parties in permanent electioneering mode. I feel better already. Here's a clue for you Iggy, you sanctimonious, grasping asshole. You are now marching directly across the grain of one hell of a lot of Canadians that don't want to be responsible for a multi-generational toxic disaster. But by all means, get down on your knees and suck for all you're worth. At this point you're no better than the asshole currently in charge and the fact that you'll do or say anything at all to win an election is all we need to know to tell us that you aren't worthy of winning. Fuck you and fuck the Liberal Party of Canada.

The slogan I'll be choosing for the next election: Anyone But A Conservative Or A Liberal.

The Wanker's Dictionary.


Chutzpah: The nerve to prorogue Parliament for seven weeks, then claim that the economy is in such desperate straits that you don't have the time to be financially accountable.

So, "Raphael," if that's your real name ...


... and, apparently, it isn't.

Oh, dear. I think the National Post has some 'splainin' to do.

This is going to be delicious.


Dear bible-thumping, god-bothering wingnuts:

Get used to it -- the grown-ups are in charge once again.

Yours in endless amusement,
LuLu

P.S. Rats + sinking ship = Hilarity for sane people.

Saturday Morning Cartoons.


Everybody in line for "The Gang Planque" -- we’re going on a "Pleaseu’r Cruise" and you can "Pay-ay-vous later".

No doubt our favourite Raging Tory will be along any minute now to fling accusations since Pepe is such a socialist, French surrender-skunk.



Have I ever mentioned how much I love coffee? I have? Oh good.

One of these things is kind of like the other.


Blogging Tory Steve "Inspector Gadget" Janke is so all about the federal tax laws. Curiously, he never seemed all that excited about this. I'm assuming that's because he was busy or something at the time.

Yeah, let's go with that.

Coleman! Douchebag!


Swallow your coffee first. OK, you're good to go.

BONUS TRACK
: A two-fer.

No, really, I'm not making this up.


Stephen Taylor must be so proud:

From a comment on Canadian Cynic:

"Actually, Justin, we do consider the possibility we might be wrong; we just don't consider the possibility you might be right."

Wow. They actually see a difference between those two statements.

Yeah, Stephen Taylor must be proud. Did I mention how proud Stephen Taylor must be? Yeah, I'm sure I did.

LET'S THINK HARD ABOUT THIS, JUSTIN
... Really, it's like a pinata of stupid over at The Raging Wanker's:

So how is Saskatchewan in the black?

Saskatchewan, long known as having one of the weakest economies in Canada, is well into the black, despite the recession, while Ontario is swimming in a massive deficit.

The difference is not potash, but fiscal responsibility versus fiscal liberalism.

So ... if I understand Blogging Tory "The Raging Wanker" Justin properly (and I'm fairly sure I do), a budget surplus is proof positive of a superior political philosophy, while a monstrous deficit should be seen as evidence of incompetent and failed governance.

Are you sure you want to go down that road, Justin? I mean, really sure? Seriously, I'll give you a chance to walk that one back. 'Cuz that's just the kind of stud I am. Kind to dumb animals.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes ...


... please let this happen.

The perpetually burning stupid.


I'm pretty sure I've met cocker spaniels smarter than this.

Name that Blogging Tory!


This one is going to be considerably tougher since, well, it's not like it stands out as particularly deranged in a sea of, you know, indistinguishable derange. But give it a shot. And there's a link below once you just can't stand the suspense anymore.



Here you go. Now you're just slapping your forehead going, "Well, shit, of course!"

Dude, ...


... they're just not that into you. Face it, Joe ... you're no Bow James Bow.

You keep using that word "clean" ...




And coming soon, "Tar Sands" car freshener, for that minty-fresh, tar sands aroma. Bird carcasses sold separately.

(Wag of the tail to e-mailer ML.)

Thursday, February 26, 2009

... and in other news, Satan was seen ice skating to work.


Curiously, on this issue, Canada's Douchebaggiest Blogger™ and I are in complete agreement (the link, if you must):



Quite so, Kate, since when it comes to the threat of armed violence, Barack Obama really does have to watch himself, doesn't he? You just never know when one of your groupies is going to take that Second Amendment thing a little too seriously, do you?

Canada's Kate McMillan: Just giving Obama a little heads up that that's a nice family he's got there, and it would be a shame if anything happened to them.

Oh my.


We may need to stock up on popcorn, boys and girls -- this promises to be magically delicious.

You don't really care who wins, ...


... all you're doing is praying for injuries.

Coleman! Douchebag!


Seriously, I'm never going to get tired of this.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


Submitted without comment.

Of Bobby Jindal, condoms and fire hoses.


Whap! Someone might want to check in on Blogging Tory Jonathan Strong and see how he's holding up. I'm sure Jonathan's putting on a brave face but, deep down, I'll bet he's crying inside. Maybe just a little.

AFTERSNARK: Apparently, everyone wants a whack at the Bobby Jindal pinata.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Ponies! I want ponies!


Shorter Blogging Tory Gerry Nicholls: "And there's going to be ice cream, and rainbows, and kittens, and that hot chick at the bar is so checking me out."

Leadership! Accountability! Fuck you!


Shorter Canada’s New, Newer, Newest Government™: Sorry, there’s no money to build a new school in Attawapiskat -- even though we once claimed there was -- but there’s always money to try and polish our image and buy votes.

Go Democracy!!1!!1!11!

A Cautionary Tail

Something to consider in advance of 5 Feet of Fungus' next TVO appearance.

Name that Blogging Tory!


This one's a gift:

A great interview with HM PM Stephen Harper

HM PM Harper did a great interview with Larry Kudlow. Kudlow was very impressed and said we are lucky to have HM PM Harper and I absolutely agree.

The third correct answer will receive nothing but my undiluted scorn for allowing two other people to answer even more quickly.

Strawman? WHAT strawman?


Shorter Blogging Tory Jordan Alcock: "I've found that it's much easier to defeat my intellectual opponents when I get to invent their arguments for them."

And then there's reality ...


There's Blogging Tory and loyal, right-wing talking point poodle Jonathan Strong:

Bravo Bobby

I'm a big fan of Bobby Jindal, Governor of Louisiana, and he proved why he's been so successful at such a young age tonight. He outlined why the Democrats' stimulus bill is garbage and a giant waste of tax payer money that will do little if anything to help the economy recover. He outlined why the major mistakes Republicans have made over the past 8 years in regards to deficits and joining in with earmarks and bureaucratic enlargement.

Jindal nailed it when he said the strength of America stems not from government but from its people.

Jindal will likely be a major player in the GOP for years to come. It's amazing to think that kid from Indian immigrants has risen to be a conservative governor in a state like Louisiana with a history of corruption, racism, and bigotry. God bless America.

Then there's that fucking "liberal" media:

Fox News vs. Jindal

From Fox News’ all-star panel after Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal wrapped up:

BRIT HUME: It read better than it sounded… this was not Bobby Jindal’s greatest rhetorical moment.

NINA EASTON: The delivery was not terrific.

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER: Jindal didn’t have a chance.

JUAN WILLIAMS: Childish.

Brutal. No one seems to think Jindal performed well.

Well, almost no one. I blame the man-crush.

NOT SURPRISINGLY
, Think Progress opines on the subject at hand. By way of rebuttal, Jonathan describes everyone at Think Progress as "a bunch of leftard poopyheads."

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!




Did anyone else hear, "Hi, kids ... will you be my neighbour?"

HIT HIM AGAIN ... he's still moving.

I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY LONG.




STILL GOING ...


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Kick ...


... ass.

Nice political career you had there ...


... it's a shame we're going to fuck you up.

Um ... which one's supposed to be the smart one?



I can only assume Jonah Goldberg and Sarah Palin were already booked.

Those brown people are really starting to gripe my wagger, ya know?


Shorter Blogging Tory "Raphael Alexander": "Will all you darkies please just fuck off?"

Name that Blogging Tory!


This morning, we're starting a new feature here at CC HQ -- Name that Blogging Tory! -- wherein we'll reproduce a snippet from a recent BT blog post and ask you to guess the author. No cheating by looking first. And here's our first contestant:

PM Harper Rocks New York!

Okay, he did it quietly, but he was awesome because he finally got his wings. He is no Obama, thank goodness, but he outshines any world leader because he actually understands the economy and can talk to us on a level we can all understand. He does not talk down to us, he explains, without bi-partisanship, what is happening not just in Canada, but globally.

Yes, Stephen Harper actually "understands the economy," which is why he assured us that we were just fine shortly before everything went to shit. But I digress -- Name that Blogging Tory!

Somebody call the Waaaaahmbulance!


If it's a day that ends in "y," somewhere a Blogging Tory is whining:

One of the more classless things emerging from the O-bot White House, is the proclivity of the new administration to target those who vex them.

Hmmmm ... you mean like this?



Go back to your bottle, Paul -- you're more tolerable when you're drunk.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Just when you think you're too mature to snort milk out your nose anymore...



Yes, kids, that was one of Stephen Taylor's Blogging Tories, ragging on others for being uber-saccharine, sycophantic, circle jerk suck-ups and unemployable dilettantes.

Normally, you'd have to pay someone to write stuff that funny.

Caption contest!




"What the fuck are you babbling about, white boy?"

Pot. Kettle. Savage boot to the nads.


Shorter Blogging Tory Ezra Levant: "Nuisance lawsuits are the sign of a true asshole. Chuck? Chuck who?"

Get cancer and die.


No, really, if you're a liberal member of the U.S. Supreme Court, just get cancer and die. In other news, we liberals are very, very angry. That's the rumour.

P.S. If I publicly wished a terminal disease on, say, Kathy Shaidle, why, I bet you'd never hear the end of it. Yeah, I suspect the shrieking wouldn't end for months. So I'm not going to say it.

I can think it. But I'm not going to say it.

Dirty, dirty oil.


There's this. And there's this.

(Wag of the tail to commenter Robert McClelland over at TDL's.)

Heh.


Indeed.

And this is why we mock them.


Thanks for playing, Justin. Next.

AFTERSNERK: I'm thoroughly amused by this admission by Justin:

The term "thousands" is a term used commonly to establish something as very large.

On the other hand, there are those of us who, if we wanted to say "millions," we would have said, you know, "millions." Because large numbers like that don't frighten us, Justin. You, on the other hand, well, I see a course in remedial mathematics going something like this ...



SHIFT THOSE GOALPOSTS, BABY!
This might provide entertainment for, literally, minutes (if, by "minutes," I mean days). Here's Justin's commenter "Powell lucas":

I don't know where this Canadian Cynic gets his information, but he'd better put his Spawn comics aside and read some hard data.

The housing crisis in the U.S. ...

EPIC FAIL!

We weren't talking about the "housing crisis in the U.S.," Powell, my little dimwit. We were talking about the worldwide financial meltdown, but thanks for trying to move those goalposts when you were hoping no one was watching.

It's hard to decide who's dimmer -- Justin or his groupies.

YEE HA! Dave rides to the rescue. No, Dave, really, I can handle this but thanks for thinking of me. :-)

Just another freakin' leftard troublemaker.


Apparently, there's a new kid in town. Go say hi. Now fetch CC some more coffee while you're up.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Word Of The Day!

At least the game isn't manufactured by Whammo!



Tip of the hat to the evil gnomes at Boing & Boing Inc.

Big Daddy's Canada.


Leadership! Accountability! Fuck you!

It's always better in Princess Rainbow Sparkle Pony Land.


Normally, this would be disturbing news:

Drought to cut off federal water to Calif. farms

SACRAMENTO, Calif. -- Federal water managers said Friday that they plan to cut off water, at least temporarily, to thousands of California farms as a result of the deepening drought gripping the state.

U.S. Bureau of Reclamation officials said parched reservoirs and patchy rainfall this year were forcing them to completely stop surface water deliveries for at least a three-week period beginning March 1. Authorities said they haven't had to take such a drastic move for more than 15 years.

But it's no big deal if you're a Blogging Tory:

The truth is, of course, the amount of water in the world is the same as it's always been. The oceans, the water aloft and the icecaps; all there. The rain will continue, the rivers will flow, the snow will fall. No matter what the loony environmentalists have to say, and no matter how long they say it, the cycle will continue.

As will the cycle of Blogging Tory stupid. I swear, the heat death of the universe can't come too soon for me.

It’s not me, it’s you.


Dear Five Feet of Where's my Section 13 Complaint At™:

It’s been ages since we’ve had one of these little chats, hasn't it? To be honest, I’ve had better things to do. But rest assured, your behaviour over the last few weeks, including your hilarious appearance on "The Agenda" has not gone unnoticed.

While there is little doubt in my mind that you are, indeed, a racist (something that appears to be your entire raison d’ĂȘtre), I’ve come to realize something far more compelling where you’re concerned. You’re a sad, pathetic, one-note shriek harpy who’s quickly becoming a caricature.

More importantly, you’re beneath me.

Yours in endlessly superior amusement,
LuLu

Cello!

Just go.


Enjoy.

Saturday Morning Cartoons.


So I’m a day late – sue me.


The end of the right-wing gravy train.


Schadenfreude, baby. I'm guessing Manning Centre "fellow" Stephen Taylor better get while the getting's good. Because even loaded wingers are going to get tired of freeloading mouthpieces like Taylor sooner or later.

Dear Justin: Is that your final answer?


(Yes, I realize this is going to take several minutes of my life I'll never get back but, just in case there was any doubt, I'd like to demonstrate why trying to engage a Blogging Tory intellectually is an utter waste of time. To paraphrase an old saying, trying to educate a Blogging Tory is like trying to teach a pig to sing -- it's a waste of time, and it annoys the pig. And on that note, to work.)

It started here, when Justin (allegedly young and fit despite his numerous posts complaining about how bad Canada's medical care is when he needs it) fell hook, line, sinker, rod, reel and entire copy of Angling Times for the dishonest right-wing spin of ... well, let's let Justin dig his own grave here, shall we?

The current recession goes back to the housing crisis. But, who created the housing crisis? The answer that liberals give you is the free market. The problem is, the free market was not in control of the two companies that the housing crises stems back to. Freddy Mac and Fannie Mae are GSEs, government sponsored enterprises. These two enterprises gave out thousands of mortgages to poor people who couldn't pay back their loans.

So ... in Justin's mind (and based on his very own words above, let's remember that), the current economic meltdown is the fault of, literally, "thousands" of poor people who couldn't keep paying their mortgages. OK, let's go with that.

Your humble scribe (that would be me) -- realizing full well that Justin was full of shit in his description of the basis for the current economic collapse -- took him outside, yanked down his panties and paddled him thusly, using clearly hypothetical numbers to demonstrate that, even if one extrapolated Justin's own argument to an absurd extreme, it couldn't possibly make any sense. Allow me to quote myself at length:

How many "thousands" of these mortgages are we talking about, Justin? Five? Ten? Twenty? Hey, Justin, let me be generous and say, oh, half a million. Yeah, for the sake of argument, even though you claim only "thousands" of allegedly bad mortgages, I'll hypothesize that there were half a million. Does that work for you? I don't want to shortchange you, I want to give you every opportunity to make as dire a case as possible.

Movin' on, then, what was the average value of one of these mortgages? Now, given that these were sub-prime mortgages (and Justin himself claims that they were given out to "poor people"), I think it's reasonable to assume that they didn't represent stunningly expensive properties, but I'm going to give Justin plenty of leeway and assume that each of these mortgages was worth, oh, what the hell, half a million dollars and I think we can all agree that I'm bending over backwards to be generous to Justin.

And, finally, in terms of a meltdown in the sub-prime market, let's assume a totally worst-case scenario and assume that every single one of these mortgages tanked completely and lost every single penny of value of its original mortgage price. You still with me? That is, in order to be (more than) fair to Justin, I'm proposing the absolutely worst possible outcome to see just how much this would affect the global economy.

So ... half a million sub-prime mortgages, each worth half a million, and every single one of them tanking and losing its entire value, gives us a (ridiculously over-inflated) loss of ... $250 billion.

Read that again: $250 billion.

Positively worst-case with ridiculously generous numbers, Justin. And yet, here we are, watching the U.S. getting revved up with a stimulus package worth almost $800 billion. Why, Justin? Go on, explain that to me, Justin. Because, given that the entire sub-prime situation could have been (according to my out-of-thin-air numbers) resolved with a mere $250 billion, how exactly is it that were talking, literally, trillions of dollars in the long run to repair the world economy?

Intelligent people will, of course, realize what I was doing above -- I was taking Justin's argument and figures as he presented them in his original post, then used obviously speculative figures that showed how, even if one extrapolated Justin's own position considerably, it was still a stupid, dumbass, retarded argument.

Sadly, rather than accept that he just got thrashed soundly, Justin comes back with, well, you have to read it to believe it:

Not quite dire enough, because you are way off. Someone didn't do their homework. Let me rephrase that. Let's up this from a few thousand, to at least a million, the real numbers, from Wikipedia:

During 2007, nearly 1.3 million U.S. housing properties were subject to foreclosure activity, up 79% from 2006.


Pause.

Very, very long pause to really and truly appreciate what kind of fucking idiot Justin is. And now, let me explain why.

Justin, my little douchebag, as almost all of my readers will appreciate since they're not complete retards, my figure of 500,000 mortgages was not meant to represent reality. As my readers will understand, that was an out-of-thin-air value that was chosen only to represent an absurd extrapolation of your own argument. You, Justin, used the original claim of, literally, "thousands" of subprime mortgages, and I correctly and accurately gave you the intellectual beating you deserved for it. But there's more.

Justin clearly thinks I haven't done my homework in that I was unaware of how many bad subprime mortgages there were. In this, Justin would be sadly mistaken as I have, on a number of occasions, blogged on that fiasco so I'm well aware of what the situation is. (Readers are welcome to go to the search box on this blog and type in "subprime" if they have any questions.) But I didn't need to use that correct figure as that's not the figure Justin produced initially. His original claim was "thousands" and, because I am an honest man, I slapped him upside the head for precisely the numbers he used in that post.

Justin's response, if I read this correctly and I'm sure I do, was to quickly do some research, realize that he was at least a couple orders of magnitude off in his initial value, produce the right value, and then (curiously) make fun of me for criticizing his original claim the way he had actually written it. Yes, Justin, the fact that your original post was utter shash is, of course, completely my fault. I'm guessing that's the way it works in Blogging Tory land -- their stupidity is always someone else's fault. Which brings us to my main point.

Justin made that original post, and I responded to it based on exactly what he had written. By way of reply, Justin runs off, comes back with a totally different number, then mocks me for not refuting that value. This is, of course, absolutely typical wanker logic -- get hammered and proceed to quickly shift the goalposts. And if I were to slap the bejeezus out of Justin's newer argument, you know as well as I do that there would again be a rapid relocation of those posts. So here's what I'm going to do, Justin, you little dimbulb.

I will be happy to debate this issue with you, Justin, as long as I can see, in writing, that what you've written is your final and irrevocable argument and that you aren't going to drag those posts across the field again. In short, Justin, what I want from you is an agreement that this is your final position:

The exclusive and fundamental cause of the current worldwide economic crisis is American subprime mortgages.

It's that simple, Justin -- let me hear from you that that's the position you're defending. No waffling, no weaseling, no tap dancing. These are your own words from that original post:

The current recession goes back to the housing crisis.

Is that what you're prepared to defend, Justin? Because if it is, then sure, I'll give you the smackdown you deserve. But I'm not interested if what you're going to do after it's over is to try to weasel out of it with, "Well, OK, it's not the exclusive cause, but it's a big part of it. Well, OK, it's a part of it. Well, it certainly had something to do with it. So I'm still right, neener, neener, neener."

If you're going to stick with your original claim as I've interpreted it, then I'll play. But if you're just going to be a typically intellectually dishonest Blogging Tory, then do me a favour and fuck off and don't waste any more of my time.

Well, Justin, let's hear it. Poor Americans with bad mortgages are solely and exclusively responsible for the current worldwide economic meltdown. Is that your final position? Yes or no?

BY THE WAY, Justin, the fact that you're howlingly ignorant about how mortgages even work in the U.S. was pointed out by Ti-Guy here. I thought you should know that.

EXTRA FUN AND GAMES: Here's Paul Krugman, from November of last year:

Fannie Freddie Phony

So I was listening to Arnold Schwarzenegger before doing the This Weak round table, and he was mostly making sense — except for one thing. He asserted, as a simple matter of fact, that “government created the housing bubble”, because Fannie and Freddie made all these loans to people who couldn’t afford to pay them.

This is utterly false. Fannie/Freddie did some bad things, and did, it turns out, get to some extent into subprime. But thanks to the accounting scandals, they were actually withdrawing from the market during the height of the housing bubble — the vast majority of the loans now going bad came from the private sector.

Yet it’s now clear that the phony account of the crisis — that it’s all due to Fannie, Freddie, and nasty liberals forcing poor Angelo Mozilo to make loans to Those People — is setting in as Republican orthodoxy, part of what you have to believe to be a respectable member of the party.

In short, there's what truly stupid people believe and post on their blogs. And then there's reality.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

I dare you ...


To take issue with Melissa Etheridge’s performance.


Just 'cuz.

Is this one of the "Seven Signs"?


Blogging Tory Gay Fred's most recent post is about an Iranian lesbian being granted asylum in Britain (which is, indeed, a good thing). Astonishingly enough, he doesn’t mention Israel once.

Quick -- someone hold me.

It's official: Obama is just as much of a thug.


Yeah, you can stop hoping that this administration was going to be any better than 8 years of Chimpy McChimpster:

Washington - The Obama administration, siding with the Bush White House, contended Friday that detainees in Afghanistan have no constitutional rights.

In a two-sentence court filing, the Justice Department said it agreed that detainees at Bagram Airfield cannot use U.S. courts to challenge their detention.

Well, it's been fun. 2012, anyone?

You're welcome ...


... I'm sure.

The wonders of high technology.


Why, yes, I'd love to register for the upcoming Manning Centre Conference on Freedom and Democracy and Princess Rainbow Sparkle Ponies. Whoops:


What a coincidence:


Yeah, you might want to get Stephen to look into that.

Yeah, about the evil of "coalition" governments ...


Behold the sleazy, undemocratic, back-room dealing:

Netanyahu picked to form new Israeli government

Updated Fri. Feb. 20 2009 10:28 AM ET
CTV.ca News Staff


Israeli President Shimon Peres picked Benjamin Netanyahu, leader of the hard-line Likud party, to form the country's new government Friday.

Netanyahu now has six weeks to put together a coalition government.

I'm guessing that the previously pants-wetting brigade of Stephen Taylor's Blogging Tories are suddenly, yo, way cool and down with this whole "coalition" thing.

It's all a matter of context, you know.

Why stupid people should not be allowed to blog.


Oh, noeeezzz! I've been PWNED!!

The current recession goes back to the housing crisis. But, who created the housing crisis? The answer that liberals give you is the free market. The problem is, the free market was not in control of the two companies that the housing crises stems back to. Freddy Mac and Fannie Mae are GSEs, government sponsored enterprises. These two enterprises gave out thousands of mortgages to poor people who couldn't pay back their loans.

And then there's reality (emphasis leg-humpingly added):

While attention has been focused on the relatively tiny US "sub-prime" home mortgage default crisis as the center of the current financial and credit crisis impacting the Anglo-Saxon banking world, a far larger problem is now coming into focus. Sub-prime or high-risk Collateralized Mortgage Obligations, CMOs as they are called, are only the tip of a colossal iceberg of dodgy credits which are beginning to go sour. The next crisis is already beginning in the $62 TRILLION market for Credit Default Swaps.

Anyone who tries to write about the current economic crisis without mentioning credit default swaps is merely demonstrating their grotesque, hysterical ignorance.

Oh, wait, Justin's a Blogging Tory ... forgive me that last bit of unnecessary redundancy.

JUST FOR FUN
, it would be amusing to watch Justin describe how the sub-prime mortgage fiasco alone is responsible for the current recession. Let's let Justin hang himself with his own words by calculating just how much (or how little) effect the sub-prime market could have on a global economy. First, here's Justin, pulling numbers out of his ass:

These two enterprises gave out thousands of mortgages to poor people who couldn't pay back their loans.

So, Justin, it's your position that "thousands" of bad mortgages to poor people who couldn't afford them are somehow responsible for the current world-wide recession? OK, let's go with that and see where it takes us.

How many "thousands" of these mortgages are we talking about, Justin? Five? Ten? Twenty? Hey, Justin, let me be generous and say, oh, half a million. Yeah, for the sake of argument, even though you claim only "thousands" of allegedly bad mortgages, I'll hypothesize that there were half a million. Does that work for you? I don't want to shortchange you, I want to give you every opportunity to make as dire a case as possible.

Movin' on, then, what was the average value of one of these mortgages? Now, given that these were sub-prime mortgages (and Justin himself claims that they were given out to "poor people"), I think it's reasonable to assume that they didn't represent stunningly expensive properties, but I'm going to give Justin plenty of leeway and assume that each of these mortgages was worth, oh, what the hell, half a million dollars and I think we can all agree that I'm bending over backwards to be generous to Justin.

And, finally, in terms of a meltdown in the sub-prime market, let's assume a totally worst-case scenario and assume that every single one of these mortgages tanked completely and lost every single penny of value of its original mortgage price. You still with me? That is, in order to be (more than) fair to Justin, I'm proposing the absolutely worst possible outcome to see just how much this would affect the global economy.

So ... half a million sub-prime mortgages, each worth half a million, and every single one of them tanking and losing its entire value, gives us a (ridiculously over-inflated) loss of ... $250 billion.

Read that again: $250 billion.

Positively worst-case with ridiculously generous numbers, Justin. And yet, here we are, watching the U.S. getting revved up with a stimulus package worth almost $800 billion. Why, Justin? Go on, explain that to me, Justin. Because, given that the entire sub-prime situation could have been (according to my out-of-thin-air numbers) resolved with a mere $250 billion, how exactly is it that were talking, literally, trillions of dollars in the long run to repair the world economy?

Let's hear it, Justin ... how exactly does that work? Oh, and Justin? It's safe to say that one of us is howlingly ignorant of the basics of what's happening here, economics wise. And I'm pretty sure it's not me.

DEAR BLOGGING TORIES: Now we'll see if Justin can walk the walk.

Friday, February 20, 2009

G'day Doc!

Here's one just for LuLu who will refuse to play it on account of fear. And it will be entirely her loss when it comes to the unrelenting, electrical awesome thingumajiggery.

Funk!


A 9 months baby play synthesizer. from linyuchen on Vimeo.

Check out this Frank Frink of Tomorrow!

Swiped from Boing & Boing Inc.

It's called "history," Damian -- get used to it.


After poking fun at the Huffington Post for getting suckered by a bogus news item, Blogging Tory Damian Penny has to admit that the Huff Po actually admitted its error and apologized, but man, it's tacky that some commenters actually think that that kind of story isn't all that hard to swallow.

That's a good point, Damian. After all, if someone were to tell me that, say, a high-level Republican sent out a Christmas CD containing a song entitled "Barack, The Magic Negro," well, come on, you'd have to be a total retard to even consider taking that seriously, right? Right?

Right?

Some free advice, Damian: You should re-consider this thing about trying to be a serious blogger. It's just not working out well.

Parody is officially dead.


Blogging Tory Mathew Siscoe:

Sometimes Warren KInsella says things that are so ridiculous, you almost feel embarassed for him.

That was Blogging Tory Mathew Siscoe, poking fun at people who say embarrassingly ridiculous things.

Join us tomorrow when Blogging Tory Dr. Roy mocks fat people, and Blogging Tory Sandy Crux takes issue with those who have a tacky and unseemly crush on Barack Obama.

Republicans have principles? Who knew?


Apparently, you can be too much of a drooling homophobic bigot and douchebag even for Utah. Go figure.

OBAMESSIAH!


Shorter Blogging Tories: "Being stupidly, obscenely, outrageously popular is for losers."

Clinton Abroad

Hope & Change Inc. hits the road. Former fifth or sixth best Democratic candidate for party leadership, Hillary Clinton, reassured the world that her boss's administration was on track with an exacting foreign policy of the same old shit in a brand new box.

Human rights violations by China cannot block the possibility of significant cooperation between Washington and Beijing on the global economic crisis, climate change and security threats like North Korea's nuclear program, Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton said Friday.


Yup. No chance of change so fuck all them poor bastards, there's bidniss to get done. Mind you, until the United States gets cracking on prosecutions and justice in the wake of nearly a decade of human rights abuses, war crimes and an assortment of high crimes and misdemeanors, they really don't have much in the way of moral high ground to preach from. I wonder what the Chinese equivalent of a beaver tail is.

Of course Clinton is simply being realistic, China won't change at the behest of America or any other spent, former superpower. Why the hell should they when they hold America's mortgage papers and are more than capable of manufacturing a lighter to hold to them.

It's like the last eight years never happened.


Over at the World's Shittiest Website™, K-Lo has an epiphany:

I think people are hungry for someone who is fed up with the way things are and who seem to believe in something enough to know there in an alternative worth fighting for.

An alternative? Something different? There's a word for that ... um -- ch ... cha ... ah, shit, give me time, it'll come to me.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Kathy Shaidle: Liar?


Once upon a time, I suggested that Five Feet of Anal Cyst Kathy Shaidle was playing fast and loose with the facts. Which makes this recent post of hers so very, very interesting:

A commenter at BCF is threatening to file a Section 13 complaint against me.

Finally!!

I've been TRYING to get a "hate speech" complaint for years now, by purposefully saying politically incorrect things about every ethnic group, including my own, on this blog.

Um ... Kathy? If you're only now trying to get someone to "finally" file a Section 13 complaint against you, what were you doing asking for donations to protect you from the CHRC as long ago as last summer? Some of your generous donors might be a bit puzzled by this timeline. I know I would be.

Foot.


Ass.

And in entertainment news ...


Did you hear the one about:



Weirdly enough, the irony continues. Can't make this stuff up, can you?

Whiners.


I swear, is there any collection of people on the planet that are more whiny, ignorant, petulant, closed-minded, intolerant douchebags than Christians? And, yes, I'm painting with a wide brush because that's just the mood I'm in right now.

Please take your Bible and fuck off. And take Kanata North Councillor Marianne Wilkinson with you.

Who's going to have the nads ovaries to try this?


The setup:

Harper's spokespeople threatened to cancel the press conference if, at any point in the day, a Canadian reporter shouts out a question without being invited to do so.

White House reporters habitually bark out queries during photo opportunities with the president.

But nobody had better dare pulling such a stunt in Harper's office.

"If you do (ask a question), the photo op will immediately cease," Teneycke said.

I so desperately want some reporter to think, "Fuck it," and shout out, "Excuse me, Mr Harper! Is it true that you're such a cowardly, gutless, pants-wetting, narcissistic, pompous little shit that you'd cancel this entire press conference if someone in the media so much as asks you a question?"

The next few seconds of awkward silence would be priceless.

Batshit crazy wingnuts, to the courtesy phone.


So much right-wing douchebaggery all in one place. I don't even know where to start.

SNARK THE FIRST: So ... The Blogging Tories will be exhibiting there, and we have this gem:

The Manning Centre for Building Democracy is organizing the Manning Networking Conference & Exhibition 2009 to enrich your networking and learning opportunities.

"Learning opportunities?" Excellent. So here's a suggestion, Preston -- why don't you pop by the Blogging Tories booth and educate them as to the fact that there's nothing untoward, sleazy or unconstitutional about a coalition government in Canada? Seriously, Preston, you should explain that to them because, well, they're really, really, really fucking stupid when it comes to understanding the basics of Canadian politics.

I'd start with Blogging Tory co-founder and your current, youthful sidekick Stephen Taylor. If you can convince him of that basic fact, well, there might be hope for the rest of them.

YEAH, it's kind of like this, only not as funny. Or funnier, depending on your leaning.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Evilution Ecksplained!

Go. Read. Victory!

Yeah, that seems prudent.


Sure, it seems like an over-reaction:

Senate employees are being advised to stay home tomorrow. Meetings have been cancelled. All parking privileges on or near Parliament Hill have been revoked for the day. Some streets are being blocked off; manhole covers have been bolted down; bullet proof screens have been erected; and rumour has it that everything down to the garbage bins and coat racks on the Hill have been checked out by secret service guys wearing dark sunglasses looking for possible (if improbable) security risks.

On the other hand, people claim to have spotted Kathy Shaidle in town and, well, she's armed and she doesn't much like black people. No sense taking any chances.

That's different. Right?


Blogging Tory "Surly Beaver" is, well, yanked:

Despite Saskatchewan Federation of Labour President Larry Hubich's despicably personal attacks on everyone who disagrees with him, the long foreheads in the Saskatchewan media will continue to use him as a source of analysis and critique. Why don't the rules apply to this moron?

Yeah ... using an obvious partisan as a source of alleged objective, journalistic analysis? I mean, what the fuck?

For the sake of fairness, I'm thinking of spotting the Blogging Tories half my brain cells before mocking them mercilessly. It still won't be a fair fight, but I'd feel better about it.

And on the other hand, Bishop Henry ...


Shorter Bishop and raving loon Fred Henry: "As a democratic society, we have a moral obligation to allow all points of view, even the ones that might offend us and ... HOLY FUCKING MARY, MOTHER OF GOD, JESUS H. CHRIST ON A COCKSUCKING STICK, YOU CAN'T PUBLISH THAT!!!!!"

How many PMs could a fluffer fluff if a fluffer could fluff PMs?


Via Red Tory, we learn of some serious Blogging Tory competition to Sandy Crux's loving embrace of Stephen Harper's woody:

As you can see, he is on the job and communicating. Well done Mr. Prime Minister.

We are lucky to have you.

Has anyone ever told you that?


You are the only one who puts action to their words and follows up on financial promises.

Yes, dear ... whatever.



Oh, darn ... how did that sneak in there?

You have to wonder whether Blogging Tory co-founder Stephen Taylor ever wakes up sweating in the middle of the night, thinks of that long ago dream of creating an aggregator of principled, thoughtful, educated Canadian conservatives, realizes what it's actually become, then rolls over and sobs quietly into his pillow.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Pick your favourite Bible passage! Win valuable prizes!


Given that (as you can see in the previous post) OC Transpo has already accepted on-bus advertising of select bits of Holy Scripture, we here at CC HQ would like to introduce the latest contest, which will almost certainly culminate in you winning absolutely nothing while just as certainly offending as many of the religiously devout as possible. It's what we here at CC HQ call a "two-fer."

In any event, since OC Transpo is clearly down with the Good Book, we invite all of you to select your favourite passage from the Bible that, if you had the opportunity, you would plaster all over every transit bus in Ottawa. Be creative. Be obnoxious. Hell, be downright offensive. But, most of all, be accurate -- no fucking with the words.

This will be a tough choice. Personally, I think I'd go with this one from Leviticus 20:10:

And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

Yeah, death to adulterers -- always a ratings winner. But be sure not to overlook the numerous examples of misogyny and genocide as well, not to mention the countless reasons to beat your children to death. Really, a treasure trove of horrific mayhem.

So go wild, choose carefully, and leave your selection in the comments. When it's all over, we'll select the best of the best and hold Holy Scripture up to the ridicule it so richly deserves.

Is that your final answer, John?


OC Transpo's John Donaldson has really dug himself into a hole here:

Donaldson stressed the decision [to reject atheist bus ads] is not based on what he personally finds offensive, but rather what he and his informal committee thinks other people would find offensive. He would not speculate when asked if a sign that said “There Probably Is a God” would also be rejected.

“That’s kind of hypothetical,” he said. “There are lots of ways of phrasing things in a harmless, inoffensive manner and there are others that are more provocative.”

"Hypothetical?" I'm sorry, John, but you don't get that convenient escape hatch. After all, John:

“Just because of the advanced publicity on this campaign, we already know that people will be offended,” Donaldson said.

In other words, John, those ads weren't rejected based on actual protests; rather, they were rejected based on what you perceived as likely, future hypothetical protests. And once you've taken that stand, John, you're kind of stuck having to address any future "hypotheticals" as well, wouldn't you say? After all, John, once you've based your case on a total hypothetical, you don't get to claim that anyone else's hypotheticals are out of bounds. But wait ... it gets better.

Over at JJ's place, Jennifer Smith makes the claim:

Just to play Devil’s Advocate for a moment (ha ha), the TTC does apparently allow ‘religious’ advertising, while OC Transpo (officially) does not.

Now, I have no idea of knowing if that's true, but if it is, then John is in even more trouble. Let's refresh our memories:

[Donaldson] would not speculate when asked if a sign that said “There Probably Is a God” would also be rejected.

Um ... what? If it is in fact true that religious advertising of any kind is not accepted by OC Transpo, then one has to wonder why Donaldson's reply to the above wasn't simply, "Nope, we wouldn't take that either." After all, it's clearly religious, so it would seem that Donaldson's position would be an absolute no-brainer. Instead, given what is clearly religious advertising, Donaldson now refuses to take a position. How ... convenient.

And, not surprisingly, we're not done here. Back in a bit with more smackdown.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! As Dr. Dawg points out, someone's life is about to get very uncomfortable:

The chair of Ottawa's transit committee will demand that city staff explain why they refused to allow atheist ads on city buses, even though ads quoting the Bible have been approved by the city and could appear on buses at any time.

And since John is all about the public outrage, I believe you should give John a call and let him know how totally, totally offended you are by the horrific and violent misogyny of the "Good" Book. You can reach him here:

John Donaldson
Email: john.donaldson@ottawa.ca
Telephone: 613-842-3636 x2430

Tell him I sent you. And be polite -- don't call him a "douchebag" unless the situation demands it.

On your marks ... get set ... lawsuit!


You have nothing to do for the next few minutes, right?

Those angry, angry feminists.


In other news, a bunch of neo-Nazis beat the shit out of a bunch of leftists and peace activists, but we were talking about angry feminists, weren't we?

BONUS TRACK: Chet wants to warn you about angry feminists as well.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Fern speak.


You listen.

Yes, now.

No one loves their job as much as I do.


As my online support group, I just thought you all needed to know that.

Gas. Them. All.


Seriously, why is any sane person listening to these deranged yahoos anymore?

John Donaldson is an idiot.


If there is a stupider human being in Ottawa than OC Transpo's John Donaldson, that person is staying well hidden:

Calling it a “violation of the charter’s defence of free speech,” an atheist group is planning a Supreme Court challenge of OC Transpo’s decision to disallow a controversial ad from appearing on its buses.

The ad, which says “There’s Probably No God. Now Stop Worrying and Enjoy Your Life,” was rejected based on a clause in OC Transpo’s advertising policy that states, “Religious advertising which promotes a specific ethic, point of view or action that might be offensive to users of the transit system is not permitted,” said John Donaldson, the city’s program manager of transit, marketing and customer service.

"We had a look at the policy and our response was we should not be running that ad,” he said.

And while one might simply shake their head at Donaldson's absolutely stunning retarditude, we can be grateful that he's clearly defined what is and is not acceptable ... like, say, ads that promote a fetus-fetishist, "pro-life" agenda since those ads would be similarly religious in nature and would promote "a specific ethic, point of view or action that might be offensive to users of the transit system."

The left-wing strategy is now obvious -- start watching for OC Transpo ads promoting the anti-choice philosophy and let John Donaldson know that you're offended. Deeply.

And if anyone has Mr. Donaldson's contact info, I'd be happy to post it here. I'm sure he very much wants to hear your opinion. He said so himself.

I'M AMUSED by this little snippet:

"Just because of the advanced publicity on this campaign, we already know that people will be offended,” Donaldson said.

So what's happening here is not that those ads are offending people; no, Mr. Donaldson has taken it upon himself to predict what the response will be and act pre-emptively; you know, just in case. One wonders why he didn't allow the ads, then monitor the response, since he openly admits he has the authority to yank those ads if things get out of hand:

“We receive complaints about advertising material of all kinds of different subjects,” Donaldson said. “The same thing applies — if people are offended, and let us know about it, then there’s a provision in the contract to ...remove it.”

But what Donaldson has done here is rather clever. See, if those ads had been accepted and had started to run, and they really and truly offended some folks, then those folks would have had to protest, and it would have been hugely entertaining to hear the thin-skinned whining from, say, some of Ottawa's religious leaders, who are perpetually yapping on about freedom of religious expression and shit like that. But if those leaders had started to protest the bus ads, well, the delightful hypocrisy would have been on spectacular and glorious display.

No problem, though, as Mr. Donaldson rides to the rescue by not allowing the campaign to even get started, saving all those religious leaders the embarrassment of having to go public and explain how their concept of religious freedom doesn't extend to, you know, atheists.

It must be nice for Ottawa's religious poohbahs to have an obedient poodle like Donaldson making their lives easier. Why humiliate yourself in public when a quiet phone call will do just as well? Good boy, John ... you have served your Christian masters well. Have a biscuit.

Kathy Shaidle: Douchebag!


Via Raphael Alexander, we learn of Five Feet of Fecal Matter's latest douchebaggery, to wit:

Seriously, how bad have things gotten when LGF's Johnson is the relative voice of honesty and integrity?

Oh, dear Lord ...


In terms of badness, if you don't understand the term "exponential," go look it up.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Dear Globe and Mail: I think you're missing a golden opportunity here.


A few weeks back, the Grope and Flail's Adam Radwanski was in a begging mood, begging for -- I don't know -- some reasonable voices of Canadian conservatism:

Calling all Conservatives

... That Stephen Harper's party is disinclined to make itself accessible is hardly news, and it's considered bad form for journalists to complain about it. But I raise it here for a couple of reasons.

One, this isn't just a case of the Conservatives declining to talk to journalists; it's a case of them refusing to talk to you. If they don't want to do an interview with follow-up questions with someone like me, as Brison did this week, they don't have to. We're offering a forum for them to get their views out, unfiltered, to the public - be it in a direct back-and-forth with readers, or in the submission of articles they've written themselves. All we're asking is that they participate in a public dialogue.

A perfectly reasonable position, except that Adam puts some conditions on it:

We'll continue to invite specific Conservatives, as we do members of the other parties. But here's an open invitation as well. If you're a Conservative of some standing - an MP, a Senator, a party executive, a backroom operator - we want to hear from you.

"Of some standing?" That's kind of disappointing, as Blogging Tory Victor Wong points out:

Well. That “some standing” qualifier pretty much blocks out most of the Blogging Tories, and the “not a press release” thing is going to warrant a few second looks.

Yes, Vic, it would appear to disqualify the vast majority of BTs, which is, I will admit, unfortunate, since I don't think the G&M has any idea what it's missing out on here. Personally, I am all in favour of that paper giving a regular voice to Stephen Taylor's stable of xenophobic, homophobic racists, bigots and scientific illiterates. I don't think you could get that kind of entertainment anywhere else at that price so, herewith, I'm going to invite Adam to open up some space in order that we, the readership, can enjoy any and all of the following:

  • Dr. Roy, gushing over white supremacist screech harpy Ann Coulter on a regular basis and seeing how many times he can squeeze in a colonial reference to "Her Majesty's" PM Stephen Harper. Oh, and telling us how funny he thinks Dennis Miller is.

  • The hopelessly and painfully dishonest Kate McMillan, whose motto might most properly be summarized as, "No apologies. No excuses. No accuracy."

  • The daily crime report of "Neo Conservative," who never met a violent death of a minority that didn't give him the giggles and a little woody.

  • Steve Janke, whose obsession with dead Oriental women is exceeded only by his obsession with Cindy Sheehan's vagina. And getting everything painfully, relentlessly wrong.

  • The kids over at The Politic, for whom evolution is just a liberal plot to corrupt our morals and values. Or fluoridate our drinking water, whichever makes less sense,

  • "Gay and Right" Fred, who addresses gay issues from the right side of the political spectrum by blogging incessantly about the Jews. Even if they're not gay.

  • Sandy Crux, whose children at this point must be wondering how long they can afford to keep her in adult diapers and whether, dear God, there is a bottom to Alzheimer's or it just keeps getting depressingly worse.

  • Celestial Junk's "Paul," who never met a cogent argument he couldn't misunderstand. And whose refutation of global warming is that it was cold somewhere yesterday so whaddya have to say to that, huh? Huh?

  • And, of course, the perpetually racist Raphael Alexander, for whom Canadians fall into two distinct categories: "real" ones, and ones who aren't white.

So, Adam, I'm begging you -- can't you find it in your heart to open up a spot for Stephen Taylor's BTs? I guarantee you no end of excitement, readership and animated feedback. Not in a good way, mind you, but these are the Blogging Tories so it's not as if they wouldn't meet your expectations, as long as those expectations are suitably low.

I'm thinking "non-existent" would be a good place to start.

Wow.


Who knew you could actually be too crazy for the average Blogging Tory?

P.S. Stephen Taylor. Proud, proud, proud. Lather, rinse, repeat.

P.P.S. Happy now?

Is it just me ...


Or have the Blogging Tards Tories – of whom Stephen Taylor must be inordinately proud – given up any attempt to hide their racist mouthbreather tendencies?

Don’t believe me? Take a wander through these two glaring examples from Raphael "if that’s really his name" Alexander in the comments over at Dr. Dawg’s joint.

I don't think it's just me.

Your Freudian slip is showing.


Dear dr. roy and Papa Junker:

How’s that unfortunate, leg-humping man crush on Ann "The Hag that Walks like a Woman" Coulter working out for you two lonely hearts?

Oh. Dear.

Forget I asked ... no, really.

Yours in ever-increasing hilarity,
LuLu

P.S. Stephen Taylor must be just beyond proud.

That new talking point is going to be awkward.


Shorter Canadian wankers: "Under our glorious leader Stephen Harper, Canada is poised to come out of the recession in much better shape than the rest of the G7. And do you know why? I'll tell you why -- because of a fundamental, core conservative principle: tougher federal regulatory controls. Because nothing says admirable right-wing governance like stronger financial oversight and ... and ... um ... OK, did not think that one through."

Saturday, February 14, 2009

The Angry, Angry ... Left?


Dear wankers: Sure, let's talk about civility, shall we? Hang on a minute and let me get comfortable.

P.S. I know where you're coming from, Warren, as one Patrick Ross of Edmonton once threatened to track me down and physically assault me, so I can sympathize.

P.P.S. Dear Google: "Patrick Ross." "Threats." "Violent." "Physical assault." There we go -- that should keep any potential human resource co-ordinators busy for a few minutes when they get Twatsy's job application.

Oh la la …


The fact that I just received the most breathtaking bouquet of Gerbera daisies in no way detracts from my cynical position on Valentine's Day as a whole.

So there.

Norm Coleman: Asshat.


I will almost be sad to see this end.

P.S. In case you're wondering what this fiasco is all about, the conventional wisdom is that Normie has been given his marching orders to drag this out as long as humanly possible to keep Franken from being seated and to deprive the Senate Dems of an important vote, given how close they are to having a filibuster-proof 60 Senators. After which conventional wisdom says that Normie will be rewarded for his obstructionism with a nice, cushy job in a right-wing think tank somewhere.

Anyway, that's what the conventional wisdom says. I'm tending to agree.

Happy crass commercialization of an ephemeral emotion day!


When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim Soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

-William Butler Yeats-


In honour of this overly-marketed, give presents in an attempt to get laid occasion, the world’s most beautiful love song.



Now just try and tell me that didn't bring a tear to your eye -- personally, I’m beyond verklempt. You're welcome, I'm sure.

Oh, Lord, this may never get old.


Shorter Five Feet of Diarrhetic Discharge: "As God is my witness, I will do everything in my power to resist the evil of civility and political correctness, and will remain an ugly, shrieky racist and bigot. And the reason fewer and fewer people want to associate with me? Liberal censorship."

Stealing shamelessly from Warren Kinsella when he was mocking Ezra Levant, Kathy Shaidle is a loathsome little troll who begs for crucifixion, then complains about the view.

Saturday Morning Cartoons.


An all "Daffy Duck" edition this week, I think – Duck Amuck and Robin Hood Daffy.

Stand back, musketeers, they shall sample ... my ... blade?



Look no further, good friar, for I am he for whomst thou seekest!



Have I mentioned how much I love coffee?
I have? Oh goody.

In fact, no one loves coffee more than I do today -- March Madness has come 2 weeks early this year. If this keeps up, I'll be dead or in a padded cell by April 1st.

I swear to God, ...


... the re-education camps can't come soon enough for me.

Mareva!

Check out all of her incredible homages to the Scopitone. Really good, smart film making and adorable little slices of pop music. Yum!



Hat adjustment courtesy of Boing & Boing Inc.

Well, OK, there's that.


Blogging Tory Justin "Raging Tory" Hoffer is all about the Jews:

Stay out of it, Obama.

The Obama administration is already attempting to through [sic] their weight around in Israel.

Obama, back off. Israel can handle its own affairs.

Yes, it can. With the help of billions and billions and billions of dollars in U.S. military aid. Other than that, Israel can totally handle its own affairs.

Join us next week when Justin insists that there's no evidence for evolution. None whatsoever. It's a fact. You can look it up.

AFTERSNARK: The fact that Justin is Jewish and can still write something like this:

If taking a Likud government in Israel means a break away with the USA, that's better than bending to Obama's will.

is hugely entertaining. Yes, Justin, let's have Israel "break away with the USA." Well, except for those billions and billions and billions of dollars in military aid. I'm guessing Justin has principles, but they don't quite extend to not taking all that cash. Am I right? Yeah, I think I'm right. I'm pretty sure I'm right.