Excuse me while I make shit up.

Shorter Blogging Tory Jonathan Narvey: "It's absolutely outrageous when people accuse Stephen Harper of being just like Hitler. The fact that the word 'Hitler' isn't actually used anywhere should in no way lessen the impact of my argument."

Because IOKIYAC (It's OK if you're a conservative).

Once upon a time, there was a loud-mouthed, anti-choice whackjob named Ed Snell who got pushed off of the car-top platform he built so he could overlook a security fence and shriek at pregnant women who were entering an abortion clinic, and we of the Left really couldn't muster much more than, "Yeah, whatever, he's a nutcase who was harassing women and we'd rather invest our sympathy elsewhere," and oh my Lord, we of the Left were horrifically callous, mean-spirited, genocidal animals due to our total lack of concern for a deranged misogynist like Ed Snell.

Fast forward to Canadian conservative Nick "Ghost of a Flea" Packwood, and his obvious delight in some wholesale skull-cracking:

I also want to second this sentiment.

There was one good moment at Copenhagen, though: some seriously professional truncheon work by Danish Plod on the smellies.

The difference, of course, is that those dirty, smelly hippies deserved a good beating, and Ed Snell didn't. I'm glad I could clear that up for you.

No, stop, you're killing me!

Blogging Tory "Back Off Government" brings the irony:

A Cardinal That's About To Be Silenced

Welcome to Hugo Chavez's Venezuela:

"This is a very complex issue, but there is no doubt that there are people in prison simply because they are accused of some crime simply because they do not agree with the political agenda of the national government..."(link)

There's only part of Cardinal Urosa's remarks that I disagree with. This isn't a "very complex issue." He's being to generous. It's very simple. Hugo Chavez is a power maniac that is recklessly bringing his country to ruins.

Damn straight, because here in Stephen Harper's Canada, you need never fear any sort of vicious retribution based on your ideological or political position and ... and ... oh, wait.

Never mind. My bad. Carry on.

P.S. The description of someone else being a "power maniac that is recklessly bringing his country to ruins" is just a bonus, wouldn't you say?

And this is why we don't actually try to engage them intellectually.

Over at Scott Tribe's, here's commenter "Roll Tide" showing up with an attitude and a boatload of ignorance:

Kairos has a history of not only anti Israel activities, but siding with the hard left on a host of issues. It ought to be defunded from the taxpayer.

Within four minutes, Scott brings the reality:

“Mr. Kenney is confused. He is confusing the “Kairos Palestine Document” with Kairos Canada. As far as I can tell from information readily available on the internet, these are two different creatures and unrelated. Kairos is a word used by a number of different organizations names. Mr. Kenney needs to do his homework.”

Having almost a full 24 hours to absorb this new information, Roll Tide drops in again:

Mark my word. Christian Reformed Church (CRC) funding of Kairos will be history. I know too many CRC members (my in laws for one) that had no idea their denomination was funding such a extreme ultra left wing political group. This is a case of Synod slipping one by its membership. Grand Rapids will have a hot potato next summer.

To paraphrase an old saying, trying to educate a wanker is like trying to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of time, and it annoys the pig.

AFTERSNARK: It's fascinating how only hard left activities should be "defunded from the taxpayer." Have you noticed that? I've noticed that. I'm sure it's not just a coincidence.

Yeah, about that "Biblical Law" ...

And if the Reform Party of Canada ever gets its majority, we might expect to see:

"I think every Christian is under an obligation to change laws to reflect biblical values," [Harper's deputy chief of staff Darrel] Reid said on the website CanadianChristianity.com.

Awesome. Where would we start?

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev. 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I do look forward to your enlightenment regarding the questions that puzzle me. Then I shall pass them along to others who may appreciate your moral leadership.

Sincerely.

(Name withheld by request)

Suddenly, I'm not so worried about Sharia Law. It seems almost sane by comparison. But maybe that's just me.



And Darrel Reid really should shut the fuck up.

I only do it because I can.

Dear Canadians: Take a good look at your future.

You can, if you want, refresh your memory here, but it's not strictly speaking necessary to appreciate the frightening thought processes in what follows:



Welcome to Canada under a Stephen Harper majority.

HOW TIMELY: Montreal Simon is worth a read.

ZOMG!!11!1!!! They're on to us!

I have to admit, that's my biggest fear.

So, is there any tread left on the tires?

Or, at this point, is it like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?

AFTERSNARK: Just another day at the Duggar's:



LuLu here: Any post referencing the endlessly creepy fascination with the Duggars and their endlessly creepy procreation should, by law, contain a link here.

You're welcome, I'm sure.

The nad-snapping irony of it all.

Here's Blogging Tory Walker Morrow, getting all yanked about arrogance ...



Yes, Walker ... as a Blogging Tory, you're just the person to lecture us on the classlessness of elected officials giving a massive middle finger to fundamental democratic principles and the will of the electorate.

No, no, keep lecturing ... I need the amusement.

A trifecta of dumbth.

Precious. If you are so inclined, here's MariaS, blogging a YouTube clip of Viscount First Lord Twatrick-on-Dingleberry Monckton, followed up with gushing commentary by Blogging Tories "Hunter" and "Iceman."

There's not enough snark on the planet to do that justice.

The knee-slapping hilarity of dead journalists.

Oh, man, I can hardly see through the tears, I'm laughing so hard:



That would be reporting this:

Journalist deaths hit record in 2009: report

And that's when the Kate McMillan Flying Monkeys descend on her comments section to outdo one another in the "Hey, I want journalists murdered way more than you do!" Rhetoric and Swimsuit Competition:

The one comment nailed it: add journalists to the list with lawyers and politicians. Personally, I hold lawyers and politicians in higher regard.
Posted by: Colin from Mission B.C. at December 19, 2009 2:26 AM

It looks like lawyers are being surpassed as the most parasitic profession hated by the public.

I wonder how much a Journalist makes? It seems like the payoff would have been much better with a little more effort by going to Law school.
Posted by: Knight 99 at December 19, 2009 2:27 AM


You can feel the love.
Posted by: Sylvanguy at December 19, 2009 6:30 AM


I wish I'd bought the T-shirt:

"Journalist. Rope. Tree. Some assembly required."
Posted by: Jim at December 19, 2009 8:02 AM


Well darn. I thought I was linking to a story about something bad happening. What's that old saying..I'd rather have a mother as a whore then a journalist?
Posted by: Justthinkin at December 19, 2009 8:05 AM


I've said for years the only way to save the US is to hang all of the media first. Looks like my views aren't so out of the main stream.

"Freedom of the press requires you support it, not subvert it."

When your group works to subvert our freedoms (speech, guns, property rights, etc) don't be surprised if we wouldn't like to see you pay for it.
Posted by: paulcr39 at December 19, 2009 8:11 AM


Journalism is not a profession. it displays none of the attributes associated with a profession. in fact it displays none of the attributes required for honest and honourable work. They are scum. Parasitic scum.
Posted by: Chris at December 19, 2009 9:58 AM


Yawn. Wake me up when someone kills Green Helmet Guy.
Posted by: crjc at December 19, 2009 10:18 AM

Now, where were we? Oh, right ... shrieking inconsolably about a Photoshopped image of something. Carry on, then.

KAIROS and the cognitive dissonance of idiots.

Given that a depressing number of Canada's Special Ed Bloggers Blogging Tories are constantly whinging on about the persecution of Christians and how those unfortunate Christians are so, soooooooo hard done by all the time, it's going to be entertaining to watch the neck-snapping, 180 degree reversal as they all frantically defend the defunding of KAIROS, given that (as Scott Tribe documents here -- read the whole thing) the membership of KAIROS includes:

The Anglican Church of Canada
The Christian Reformed Church in North America
The Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada
The Presbyterian Church in Canada
The United Church of Canada (the church I’m a member of)
The Religious Society of Friends (Quakers)
The Canadian Catholic Organization for Development and Peace
The Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops
Canadian Religious Conference
The Mennonite Central Committee of Canada
The Primate’s World Relief and Development Fund (PWRDF)

Yes, there's going to be MASSIVE entertainment value in watching the switch from "How come everyone's picking on Christians?" to "Fucking Christians and their pandering for more taxpayer money, what a bunch of leeches," culminating, of course, in an Ezra Levant-style, "Useless parasites, the lot of them."

Canada's Blogging Tories: They have principles. And if you don't like those principles, wait 15 minutes -- they'll have others.

UNSURPRISINGLY, there's very little action on this topic over at Buttplug Central:



That's because reacting to this is going to require some very delicate and tricky semantic parsing to not look like a bunch of lame-brained, hypocritical, screeching goobers. I'd say it'll be a day or two before we see the initial pathetic rationalizations that will still leave us gasping for breath and peeing in our CC HQ Underoos.

Let's be patient. I'm sure it'll be worth it. For the comedic value alone.

What Boris said.

Yeah, it's pretty much like that:

You know, it's funny, the Conservative government makes so much hay about Canada and Afghanistan, which is at best a temporary distraction for the states involved. But with the defining issue of the century, for the entire world, we are no longer even welcome at the table. Canada, with this government, is now a petulant child sent to its room so the adults can be serious.

You have to love the imagery:

"Yes, Steve, it's a very nice picture and I'm going to stick it to the fridge where we can all see it, but you're going to have to excuse us now because the grownups have grownup stuff to talk about. That's a good boy."

Stephen Harper as annoying, sulky adolescent. Yeah, that's about right.

The entertainment never ends.

Excuse me?

Sam Carrière, director of communications for the Anglican Church of Canada, said the church supports a statement released Friday by KAIROS, which condemned Kenney's remarks as false and warned the Harper government against letting politics dominate Ottawa's foreign aid priorities.

I'm sorry ... telling the Stephen Harper Party of Canada not to be nakedly political? Good luck with that.

There's stupid. And there's reality.

The stupid. And the reality:

Al Franken's office has been reaching out to a lot of folks this evening making the point that Sen. Franken refused to let Sen. Lieberman go over his alloted 10 minutes because he was under strict instructions from the leadership to keep everyone to the clock so that they don't run out of time to get this thing done before Christmas.

And that's why we pretty much write off anything coming out of the Blogging Tories as uneducated, pig-ignorant swill. I'm sure you understand.

Beer, beer, beer, beer and hoops.

Apparently, UNC is playing Texas in college hoops this aft at 2 pm (Eastern), so I figure that's a good time to show up at the Huether in downtown Waterloo, set up at a table upstairs, hook into the free wireless and geek out while catching every exciting play, at least for a while.

Drop by. You're buying.

Ah, the dumbassitude of the Ezraness.

Dr. Dawg nicely covers the recent KAIROS-related thuggery of the Reform Party of Canada, but nothing compares to the screeching stupidity of the Official Jew's Official Jew Ezra Levant:

A quick visit to KAIROS's website shows that their most important goal now is not actually anything to do with religion, let alone with Christianity. It's about getting back to the taxpayer trough. I say let them raise their own money through bake sales, like everybody else's church or synagogue has to do.

Yes, Ezra ... those tax-exempt churches and synagogues. That leech off of the Canadian taxpayer's dollar.

Honestly, is it physically possible to be stupider than Ezra Levant? Oh, wait ... Maria. Never mind.

P.S. As my contribution to public intellectual discourse this holiday season, I propose that everyone follow my lead and begin referring to the minority government currently squatting in Parliament and soiling the carpeting as the "Reform Party of Canada." Seriously. Time to call a spade a spade.

Is it just me ...

... or does anyone else think Chuck Norris is one the most catastrophically stupid people alive?

I don’t think it’s just me.

A "gala" by any other name ...

There's the setup (emphasis tail-waggingly added):

Under fire for his government's $45 million in cuts to arts and culture funding, [Stephen Harper] yesterday said average Canadians have no sympathy for "rich" artists who gather at galas to whine about their grants.

"I think when ordinary working people come home, turn on the TV and see a gala of a bunch of people at, you know, a rich gala all subsidized by taxpayers claiming their subsidies aren't high enough, when they know those subsidies have actually gone up – I'm not sure that's something that resonates with ordinary people," Harper said in Saskatoon, where he was campaigning for the Oct. 14 election.

And there's the punchline:

"Prime Minister Stephen Harper arrived at the Bella Center, where the summit is being held, at around 9:30 a.m. local time with bloodshot eyes after attending a gala dinner hosted by the Danish Queen that stretched until two o'clock Friday morning."

He would have shown up earlier but he had to get the taste of weed and hooker spit out of his mouth first.