The gorge also rises.

Blogging Tory Jabba the Roy gets all moisty panty:

My friend Wendy Sullivan was on Coren last night with Ezra and Sid Ryan. It was a great show.

I wonder if they got onto the topic of aboriginals and family relations. That would have been awesome.

Lisa Raitt versus Maxime Bernier: The difference.

Someone who sounds like he knows his stuff drops me an e-mail and explains it thusly:

A key difference between the two cases is the type of documents left behind.

Mr. Bernier left NATO documents un-secure. This meant that he was no longer acceptable on the international stage, because the international stage has standards for proper behaviour. He is known to be untrustworthy with their secrets. Harper wants to be on the international stage... Canada is Back and all that. Mr. Bernier has to pay for messing that up.

Ms. Raitt only left DOMESTIC documents (apparently), and as such the international community is not going to reject her. Well, they might laugh at her, but she is not going to be visibly rejected in international meetings. She is only a fool with our secrets. They will happily take as many of them as they can get. A little domestic faux pas is not likely to affect the Canada is Back meme.

So Bernier is an unacceptable international risk; Raitt is only a harmless domestic imbecile. Sure, I can live with that.

The most pathetic, self-indulgent post you'll ever read. No, really.

I know I'm going to regret this later but, what the hell. First, there was this totally meaningless, throwaway line:

Sure, if that makes you happy, Twats. I'll try to cope with the emotional devastation of your disapproval. I'll just use my regular links from places like CNN, the New York Times and the Washington Post to console me. I figure I'll do just fine.

Say hi to your reader for me.

To which the response was utterly predictable:



Darn -- busted! I am sooooo embarrassed. Oh, wait ... no, I'm not. From the Times in 2009 alone, there was this:



and this:



and this:



and this:



and this:



and this:



and this:



And those are only the ones I bothered to remember. And the nad-crushing irony? I wasn't even aware of those early 2005 links here and here until Twatsy pointed them out. Is that awesome or what?

Thanks, Twats. If you run across any more links, let me know. It's always nice to have someone else pimping our legacy here at CC HQ.

You're doing a heckuva job, Twatsy.

Omigod! Omigod! Omigod!!1!11!!1!

Happy "The Pill Kills" Day, boys and girls -- I can't believe we almost missed it.

In other news, anti-choice, bible-thumping zealots also kill but it would just be tacky to point that out.

And furthermore ... Is it just me or are these so-called "pro-lifers" just the tiniest bit obsessed with killing? I don't think it's just me.

It sounded like a good idea at the time.

Sure, what could possibly go wrong?

Pastor Organizes Gun Celebration at Church

A pastor in Kentucky is redefining the tradition of wearing your Sunday best to services by encouraging his congregation to strap on holsters and bring their weapons to church.

Pastor Ken Pagano of New Bethel Church in Louisville, Ky., says that he organized an "Open Carry Celebration" to promote responsible gun ownership.

"As a Christian pastor I believe that without a deep-seeded belief in God and firearms that this country would not be here," Pagano told ABCNews.com. "I'm not ashamed of that fact. I'm proud of it." ...

A $1 raffle to win a free handgun will also be part of the festivities.

I'm betting that plan sounded a lot funnier about a week ago.

Because we care about the ki ... oh, wait.

They're all about the family:

WASHINGTON - Responding to a challenge from President Barack Obama, House GOP leaders are offering up a roster of more than $23 billion in spending cuts over the next five years.

The proposed cuts, which were to be sent to the White House on Thursday, bear little resemblance to the dramatic proposals Republicans unfurled when they took over Congress 14 years ago.

Rather than proposing, for example, the elimination of the Education Department, as they have in the past, Republicans are suggesting killing a program that pays for building sidewalks, bike paths and crossing guards as part of the Safe Routes to Schools program. That would save $183 million a year.

Today's GOP: Standing up for the children. At least the quicker ones.

Saturday Morning Cartoons.

Coffee, darlings?

Ignorant: It's the new black.

Apparently, being a cultural yahoo is no longer anything to be ashamed of:


Fucking Liberal elites with their books and records and knowledge and stuff and everything. Who the hell do they think they are?

The sound of settled stupid.

Canada's neo-Naziest blogger does not think that one through:

Recent scandals like Hwang Woo-Suk's fake stem-cell lines or Jon Sudbø's made-up cancer trials have dramatically demonstrated that fraudulent research is very easy to publish, even in the most prestigious journals. The media and many scientists tend to explain away these cases as pathological deviations of a few "bad apples." Common sense and increasing evidence, however, suggest that these could be just the tip of the iceberg, because fraud and other more subtle forms of misconduct might be relatively frequent. The actual numbers, however, are a matter of great controversy...

On average, across the surveys, around 2% of scientists admitted they had "fabricated" (made up), "falsified" or "altered" data to "improve the outcome" at least once, ...

So, Kate, you're taking the position that fraud and or stupid on the order of 2% shall be sufficient to discredit an entire movement? Really? Are you sure you want to go down that road? I'm just asking.

The irony. The illiteracy. Whatever.

One of Stephen Taylor's dimmer lights, taking a crack at punditry:

Who the Hell is Bob Geldoff?

Not ready for prime time. Not even remotely. Next.

Rheobidini!

Sadly, I must now refrain from defending truth, justice and the Canadian way for the next few hours and go rock out. If you're not suitably jealous, you should be.

Try not to break anything before I get back.

There's irony and then there's, well, irony.

Stephen Taylor has some critically important political news to share:



In unrelated news, Stephen Harper claims to love Canada, and yet he's managed to cripple it with a $50 billion deficit. That's kind of ironic, too, don't you think?

I really miss that Blogging Tory search feature.

Because if it was still available, I'd first search for every BT who ever fawned over something published by "Newsbusters." Then I'd link to this. The consequential hilarity should be obvious.

Dhalla-gate? Apparently not.

Dear stupid, evil Blogging Tories: It has to hurt when even the National Post turns on you. I'm guessing we can expect retractions and apologies right around, oh, never.

Fucking nigger faggot terrorist Muslim shithead. Did I mention "faggot?"

Just another evening out with the homeys in Jerusalem:



You can see now why Blogging Tory "Gay and Right" Fred is such a big fan of Israel -- it's kind of like a BT night out, except there's actually women.

(Wag of the tail to the one, the only, TBogg.)

When even the snark is retarded.

Honestly, just when you think the BTs can't get any stupider, well ...

I feel so proud! I was searching my user name for something entirely different when I came across a Lib blog naming MEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I was so excited to get an honourable mention ;)

ENJOY lol

Dear Kez: CC HQ is not a "Lib blog." But thanks for supplying another data point in the constellation of BT boneheadedness and delusion. As if we needed it.

Dear "Raphael": Piss off.

Over at Dr. Dawg's, the formerly rancid bigot known as "Raphael Alexander" is suddenly all about fairness and human rights:

If they don't let [Abdelrazik] come back to Canada on June 12, there's something seriously wrong. The settlement grows larger by the day...

This would be the same racist douchebag who, only a few months ago, was all about whether someone was really Canadian or, you know, not so much:

A “Canadian” is facing extradition on terrorism charges in France after he was convicted in absentia in October of 2001. The charges are that Abdellah Ouzghar [don't hurt yourself trying to pronounce that aloud] ...

Amazing how much energies are spent on these “Canadians”. Why, “Abdellah” is as Canadian as Maple Syrup, of course. Vaira, Omar, Bashir, Abdihakim, and Abousfian are also very important Canadians. Dr.Dawg can explain why.

Here's a suggestion, Raph -- stop trying to occasionally don that thin veneer of civilization. It's easier if you just go full-metal bigot and be consistent about it -- it saves the rest of us the trouble of trying to keep up with whatever level of sincerity you're trying to fake today.

Oh, and Raph? Hard to believe but those of us who've been arguing for Abdelrazik's return to Canada for some time now don't really need your support. Really, we're doing just fine without you and, besides, it's actually kind of classless and tacky for you to realize you're on the side of the losers and try to tiptoe quietly over to the winning team and hope no one notices.

In short, Raph, can you please quit with this open-minded and tolerance shtick you've adopted lately? You're not fooling anyone.

Dear wanks: Please piss off with your "secret."

As anyone who is even moderately sentient has noticed, Canada's wankers have totally, utterly given Lisa Raitt a free pass for her mouth-breathing incompetence, and instead have launched into a prolonged, primal howl of bloodlust outrage over CTV's appalling lack of morals and ethics and high-fibre diet or whatever in releasing details of "secret" documents to the public. Which, of course, prompts some of us here at CC HQ to ask: So what the hell is it about what was in the docs that deserved a security classification in the first place, hmmmmmmm?

Seriously, why would it matter how super duper ultra mega colon top secret something was stamped if, upon examination, it turned out to be worthless, partisan political crap? Does anything like that deserve a security classification? And who gets to make that decision, anyway?

Let's refresh our memories:

In documents headlined "Background for discussion with chair of Atomic Energy Canada," the government lists funding for the Crown corporation at $351 million for 2009-2010. That figure was in the January budget.

However, it also lists $72 million to "maintain the option of isotope production." The public 2009 budget does not specifically mention funding for isotopes.

The documents also include a hand-written note that lists total funding for Atomic Energy of Canada, Ltd. since 2006 at $1.7 billion, and then a talking-point memo to characterize the spending as "cleaning up a Liberal mess."

Let's deal with that last point first. Is it really a significant matter of national interest or security that no one be allowed to reveal that the Cons are going to try to blame the Liberals for something? Really, does revealing that endanger anything worth protecting? Are we somehow more at risk for terrorist attacks after we learn that the Stephen Harper Party of Canada are a bunch of whiny, snivelling buttwipes who refuse to take responsibility for anything and are always trying to shift the blame to someone else? Answer: No.

But it's the Toronto Sun's Greg Weston who really puts the boots in by showing us what it is the Cons were trying desperately to hide from us:

Further proof this is a government that doesn't let the truth get in the way of public opinion is to be found in the contents of Raitt's lost briefing book. For instance, taxpayers learn for the first time that the Harper government has pumped a staggering $1.7 billion into Atomic Energy just in the past three years -- most of it up in smoke if the Chalk River reactor remains beyond repair.

Whoa whoa whoa ... back up a bit ... what was that, Greg?

For instance, taxpayers learn for the first time ...

For the first time? In other words, Harper and his sleazy trollop Lisa Raitt were using a national security classification to conceal that he's been lying to us for the last three years. Is that something that deserves "secret" protection? I thought we, the public, were entitled to know how our money was being spent. Apparently not. And not only that, apparently, the sitting government feels they can keep such things from us by just slapping a security classification on it. And the douchebagitude just rolls on:

Even if the reactor had remained working, Raitt's briefing documents say Canadian taxpayers would have had to shell out $72 million this year to produce medical isotopes, 90% of which go to U.S. hospitals.

Awesome! More use of the taxpayer's purse, but nothing we should worry about since Harpo has decided that it should not be shared with us 'cuz that would be, what, a security breach of the highest order? And Weston finally hoofs Harper in the nads good and proper:

The documents openly admit the financial truth about Chalk River was deliberately hidden in the last federal budget.

Oh, man, that is just all kinds of awesome -- the Cons lied about Chalk River, and they're trying to keep that information from coming out by claiming that it should be "secret?" Which, not surprisingly, inspires a couple questions.

First, is there anyone who's an actual grownup whose job it is to examine attempts to classify documents and say, perhaps, "I'm sorry, you want a secret security level for something that admits that you're a pathetic, whiny douchebag who lied to the public for three straight years in the federal budget? Um, I don't think so. Fuck off."

And, more importantly, are there sanctions for things like this? Silly me, but I always thought that a federal budget was supposed to be, you know, accurate. But if someone's been fibbing all this time, shouldn't some heads start to roll somewhere?

In any event, and in closing and addressing Canada's whiny wankers, please take your "secret"-inspired outrage and cram it up Hunter's butt. There was absolutely nothing that I can see in those documents that merited a security classification, and the only reason you're bitching about it is that it revealed your hero Stephen Harper to be a liar and a crook and a petulant douche. If it were the other way around, you and I both know that you'd be praising CTV for their rock-ribbed ethical standards for exposing a Liberal coverup of the same order.

So, please, shut up about this. CTV did not commit an ethical lapse. They did their job by exposing your party for the useless, buck-passing, criminal scumbags they are. They're the media. It's what they do.

AFTERSNARK: Perhaps the most damning part of Weston's piece is this bit at the end:

Sixteen months ago, the Harper government ordered the reactor restarted after a shutdown for safety reasons, saying cancer and heart patients would die without an immediate isotope supply.

At that time, the shutdown lasted four weeks and the world's other four isotope reactors were operating. This time, the situation is far worse -- Chalk River is out of order indefinitely and two of the other reactors are also down.

Yet, Raitt testified at a Commons committee this week there is nothing to panic about.

Why, yes, it was less than a year and a half ago that Stephen Harper and his loyal Harperettes were clutching their pearls and yanking their undies and rending their hairshirts and shrieking, God, yes, shrieking, about the impending disaster and this was totally unacceptable and that bitch Linda Keen has to go because people are going to die, die, I tell you, oh, Lord, the humanity!!! And today, with the situation immeasurably worse? No problem, we're good, it's all under control, take a Valium. How ... curious.

But here's something to think about. Given that it's now public knowledge that Harper and his criminally incompetent flunkies have been quietly pumping money into AECL, wouldn't it be interesting to go back, lo, those 16 months, and peruse the public record of the time, and make a note of any shrieking, panicky pronouncements about Chalk River that now wouldn't seem to make any sense? I mean, would it not seem odd if the Cons were, on the one hand, say, complaining about how no one could possibly have seen this coming if, on the other hand, they were piling cash into AECL while no one was looking? Wouldn't that have some entertainment value?

Yo, Greg. I have a job for you.

BONUS TRACK: For the terminally stupid who might pop by, I should remind you that even Canwest Publishing had the presence of mind to realize there was little in Raitt's "secret" folder of any value (emphasis added):

While [Maxime] Bernier's documents contained information that may have compromised national security, Raitt's seemed to have simply been political talking points which contained more detail about how the funding announced in the federal budget for AECL and Chalk River was to be spent.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see why Canada's security infrastructure should be wasted on protecting partisan Conservative gibberish.

Corky and Lisa and Steve

Over at BCer in Toronto's digs there's an excellent article pointing out the excellent excellence of Oopsie Raitt's big adventure with special documents. Almost more fascinating is a comment left by one Mississauga Peter:

Last night, at about 6:15 p.m., I made my first visit inside the Parliament Buildings. Waiting for the 2 fine fellows (MPs) who were taking me up for dinner in the Parliamentary Cafeteria, I saw the aforementioned KORY TENEYCKE.

A fiftiesh man was coming through the doors and KORY told security that the man was going up to the Prime Minister's Office. He seemed to want to wisk the guy straight up the elevator, but security sent the fiftiesh man over to go through the metal detector.

Of course KORY had him "bud in" in front of a group of school children. But what he did next really shocked me. He took the fiftiesh guy's bag (about laptop size) and put it over his shoulder so it would not have to go through the metal detector. When I went through security, they had me turn on both my laptop and cell phone to make sure they were working. Security was busy and missed the exchange.

I stopped security and mentioned it to them. KORY and the fiftiesh aged man were out of sight, but the security guy did bring them back and had the bag go through the metal detector. But unlike me, the fiftiesh man never had to show his ID or to get an ID badge.

Can someone tell me if this proper and if this is acceptable?

Wiggles Bernier, Oopsie Raitt and Corky Teneycke, all exhibit a clear disregard for the basic protocols of security. The Harper led cons seem to have taken the notion that the rules and regulations apply to others but not to themselves. One of these bright days, a security slip will lead to a real crisis, be it military, economic or involving identity crimes and there won't be a bus big enough to roll over all the staff getting hurled under the wheels. And then there is the interesting case of the documents in recovery.

A week after the secret documents were left behind at a friggin' TeeVee station, unnoticed by the minister, her aides and abetters, the government finally became aware of the gaffe and sent a staffer along to get the papers. Now, my understanding is limited on these matters but I'm told that such documents need to be transported securely in special double envelopes or under lock and key in NATO approved briefcases. These documents are also of the sort that are required to be signed out before leaving the premises. After a week, no one in the security apparatus missed these papers. Were they ever signed out or was that another protocol ignored? Anyway, we do know that there are strict regulations regarding the handling and transport of these sorts of documents.

Knowing that there would be interested media on hand, the governing party is still so blase about security that they send along a staffer who traipses back out the door of CTV's lobby with the documents loose under his arm. No evidence that the appropriate security is a consideration, even after getting burned in the media for incompetence, arrogance and stupidity. Perhaps wiser heads will share but the documents under this fella's arm don't appear to be secured from a stiff breeze much less a foreign agent, ne'er do well or ambitious teenager.

When will Raitt and her buddy Steven the Large take some responsibility for their actions? Or is that just something poor folk get to do?

Stupid people doing Twatsy things.

Blogging Tory and abortion-breast cancer fanatic JoJo goes full-metal Twatsy all over Michael Ignatieff:

Michael Ignatieff obviously seems to believe that 26-year-olds should not be held responsible for their actions - “I don’t like people blaming 26-year-olds” (Source)

Really? Is that what Ignatieff was saying? Let's go to the official record:

Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff called the minister's allowance of a staffer to take the blame "despicable," telling the House the blunder speaks to the issue of "competence in relation to the whole government."

"It's presumably the same staffer responsible for the isotope shortage and it's presumably this 26-year-old who is responsible for the whole darned department," Ignatieff said.

"How are we supposed to believe such a fiction?"

Wow. He wasn't saying anything of the sort. Try to contain your shock and amazement. After all, it's just JoJo.

Awwwwwwwkward.

Oh, dear:

• Blogging Tory Jabba the Roy is suitably appalled.


• Blogging Tory Jabba the Roy has got the massivest man crush on Ann Coulter.


• Ann Coulter has some interesting opinions on the topic:
  

  
  I wouldn't kill an abortionist myself, but I wouldn't want to impose my moral values on others.
  

  
  

I'm guessing none of the above is going to cause Jabba any sleepless nights. That would require principles and ... well, I'm sure you see where I'm going with this.

The burning stupid, part 42,834,917,880.

Submitted with no need for further snark.

Those who do not remember history ... are pretty much idiots.

SHRIEK! SHRIEK!! SHRIEEEEKKKKKKKK!

Oh.

The stupid burns. Oh, yes, it does.

On your mark ... get set ...

... document the dumbassitude.

AFTERSNARK: You have to love the blatant warning that misrepresentation is about to occur:

The left is apparently very opposed to two things:

Around here, we call that going "full-metal Twatsy." It's pretty much equivalent to the total douchebaggery of prefacing something with , "So what you're saying is ...," followed by what someone is not saying even remotely.

It's a Twatsy thing. But you knew that.

Douchebags on Parade: The Blogging Tory Chronicles.

Like so many intellectually crippled members of the BTs, one Russ Campbell wades into the fray, and does to logical analysis what hillbillies once did to Ned Beatty, only with slightly more girlish squealing.

Witness the dumbassitude:

Former cabinet minister Bernier was personally responsible for a breach in security; Lisa Raitt as a minister is responsible for the actions of her staff, but not personally responsible.

Yes, let's quibble over semantics, despite the fact that the overlooked document -- the "secret" one that was missing for days without anyone noticing it missing -- was in fact Raitt's own personal copy:

"Sources have told CTV that that briefing document actually was the minister's document," CTV Ottawa Bureau Chief Robert Fife said Wednesday. "Why did the minister not ask, 'Where is my briefing document? Why is it missing?'"

The documents also featured Raitt's own handwriting on them. Raitt did not learn they were missing until CTV reported on the documents Tuesday night.

And all that fancy talk about Conservative "accountability?" Eh -- not so enamored of it these days, are we, Russ? Always easier to find a patsy when you completely fuck up with classified documents and don't even realize they've been missing until someone points it out. But here's the best part of Mr. Campbell's squealy whining:

Notwithstanding CTV staff’s assertions to the contrary, Canadians do not have the “right to know” what is in secret government documents. To invoke the “public’s right to know” as justification for publishing secret information is a canard not worthy of a news service of the stature of CTV. Are standards of integrity less for media organizations than they are for the rest of us?

Ah, but Russ, my adorable little retard, as I have already pointed out here, it's somewhat curious that the Stephen Party of Canada would designate as "secret" what is simply their disbursements of the public purse. It's odd, don't you think, that a govermnent that ran on a platform of openness and transparency thinks it has the right to classify as secret what is nothing more than numbers from what should be a publicly-available budget? Under what justification does this government defend its attempt to conceal its use of public funds, Russ?

Really, Russ, I'm devilishly curious as to how you juxtapose that kind of weaselly behaviour against the idea of being open to public scrutiny. Because, Russ, quite simply, since it's the taxpayer's cash, we do in fact have the "right to know," regardless of how desperately you want to hold your hands over ears and hum loudly to yourself.

This is a mind-numbing clusterfuck of the highest order, Russ, and it shouldn't surprise anyone that you and your BT colleagues have circled the wagons and have, well, pretty much divested yourselves of every hint of your vaunted principles or openness, transparency and accountability. Because, as we've all learned by now, those are just terrific principles ... as long as you get to apply them only to other people.

BY THE WAY, even Canwest Publishing chops the BT talking points out from under them (emphasis leg-humpingly added):

While [Maxime] Bernier's documents contained information that may have compromised national security, Raitt's seemed to have simply been political talking points which contained more detail about how the funding announced in the federal budget for AECL and Chalk River was to be spent.

Bernier, in his comments to reporters, seemed to suggest this distinction was important.

"The most important (thing) at the end of it will be, what will be the threat against our country? So, if there's nothing, so what?" Bernier said.

Gosh, isn't that special ... even Maxime Bernier is shrugging his shoulders over the non-value of all that Super Duper Top Secret information that was so scandalously revealed by CTV. And, furthermore, CTV was quite careful in what it did report:

CTV did not publish the documents left at its studio and only reported on excerpts. Raitt had visited several television studios and newsroom on Parliament Hill last Thursday, including Canwest News Service and Global National, after announcing that she had started a process to private part of AECL.

Her stop at the CTV studio was one of the last media interviews she did that day.

CTV said it found a hand-written note in the documents that listed total funding for AECL since 2006 at $1.7 billion with a suggestion that the Conservative cabinet minister characterize this is "cleaning up a Liberal mess."

Yeah, exposing the fact that they plan on blaming the Liberals. There's a national secret.

Quite simply, the Cons and their shrieky, mentally-handicapped defenders are trying to have it both ways. On the one hand, the CTV has committed a hideous, egregious violation of national security by revealing critically important information to the general public. On the other hand, it's not so important that a minister need lose her job over it so let's just forget the whole thing and move on, m'kay?

Always the clowns, those Cons.

I love the smell of fresh urine in the morning.

It smells like fear.

The Stephen Harper Party of Canada:

Standing up for ... oh, fuck off, we're busy.

I am Galactus. Fear me.

Apparently, it's true what one commenter wrote about me once upon a time -- I have become, all by myself, a fearsome force in the blogosphere, totally awesome in my awesomely awesome awesomeness, with the ability to drive mouth-breathing wankers into spasms of pants-peeing panic and frantic flight in the opposite direction simply by being in the general vicinity.

Yesterday's "Exhibit A" would, of course, be worthless liar and childish Blogging Tory "Hunter" (no, I'm not linking to that execrable douche this time), whose response to a number of CC-related commenters trying desperately to engage her in good faith on legitimate issues was a barrage of evasion, insults, tap dancing and, finally (as is inevitable with that whiny, gutless shrew) arbitrary comment deletion and petulant comment moderation.

It's not my imagination -- there's a definite pattern here, the running shrieking in fear whenever I show up, or even when someone casually passes by here heading elsewhere. Even two or three degrees of separation isn't enough to diminish the terrifying power of me, driving mortal wankers mad with screeching, whimpering terror.

The list of the afflicted is long and getting longer -- Hunter, Neo Conservative, Sandy Crux, mahmood, Patrick Ross, JoJo -- all incapable of coherent conversation or rational discourse when caught in the grip of the CCness of it all, all reduced to blubbering, sophomoric insults and playground taunts, reduced to nothing more sophisticated than "Ha, stoopid leftard trolls, we sure hit the target THIS time, didn't we, stoooooopid leftard trolls, HAHAHAHAHA!!"

It's an entertaining thing to see, isn't it? The explosive urination and massive soiling of underpants by just the thought of me popping by to have a chat and ripping someone a new orifice intellectually. But it's why we say around here at CC HQ: These people are not to be engaged; they are to be mocked. Ruthlessly. Relentlessly. And, most of the time, at a safe distance upwind. Otherwise, the stench of fresh urine starts to get a bit overwhelming.

I am Galactus.



Fear me.

KEYBOARD CAT! Play the whiny losers off:

No More Trouble

Groovy!

I suck at video games. I am pinball aged and never quite caught the skills of the joystick. But this ad for the upcoming Rockband version of the Beatles is friggin' brilliant.

Fuck you, Lisa Raitt.

Natural Resources Minister Lisa Raitt, in the grotesque and reprehensible spirit of everything associated with Stephen Harper, tries to smear a questioner:

“The rules say that she is responsible, not some underling,” Mulcair told the House, pointing to the minister. "How come a year ago, the minister had to resign and today they're allowed to blame an underling, a subservient person, for all the responsibility of the minister?"

In a rare deviation from her much-repeated statement to the House, Raitt replied she was concerned about the language and tone of Mulcair's question, saying it indicated "maybe perhaps only a woman could be subservient."

Fuck you, Lisa. Fuck you every which way possible. Mulcair asked a perfectly valid question regarding subservient underlings and culpability, and everyone knew what he meant, and you chose to try to deflect that question by suggesting Mulcair was some kind of bullying misogynist.

Sometimes, I really hope there is a God, because it would mean he's eventually going to pass judgment on despicable cretins like Lisa Raitt. And I can only hope there's a particularly warm corner of hell with her name on the locker.

So much for that tin-foil hat conspiracy thingie.

I'm guessing all those conspiracy-minded whackjobs can now -- what's the phrase I'm looking for? -- oh, right -- shut the fuck up:

"Natural Resources Minister Lisa Raitt offered to resign Wednesday after documents, some marked secret, were left in the Parliament Hill studio of a broadcaster last week."

Here, let me repeat the best part:

"... were left in the Parliament Hill studio of a broadcaster last week."

One more time, but with more focus and emphasis:

"... were left ..."

In other words, you deranged, screeching lunatics, there is nothing sinister here after all so would you please just put a fucking sock in it for a change?

Thank you.

I'LL TAKE A KNIFE IN THE BACK FOR $400, ALEX. Jeff points out how quickly the right people found a fallperson for this:

So, Raitt offered her resignation but Harper said no, some poor staffer resigned instead, and this is different from the Maxime Bernier cause because it just is so leave me alone. And with that, the Conservatives seemed content to ride this thing out.

Note to aspiring Conservative aides: Keep your resumes up to date, 'cuz you just never know when you're going to get a shiv in the dark after your boss fucks up big time and they need a convenient warm body to throw under a bus.

I'm just sayin'.

P.S. Read all of Jeff's post. It's killer.

Hunter! Douchebag!

Well, you knew it was coming -- the pants-peeing cowardice of Blogging Tory "Hunter" as she starts chopping inconvenient comments. Here's what I posted:



suggesting that interested readers go see what my co-blogger Lulu wrote here. Minutes later, what do we have over at Hunter's?



What an astonishingly thin-skinned cowardly little turd. And these people wonder why we rarely attempt to engage them in intellectual discourse. What a joke.

OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE: Let the rampant cowardice begin anew:



What a useless douche. Stephen Taylor must be so proud.

P.S. By "valid" comment, Hunter means those that agree with her. As if you needed to have that explained.

The ballad of Sir "Hunter":



HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Who among you didn't see this coming?



So, after getting her doughy ass handed to her intellectually, Hunter flees behind the protection of comment moderation, proclaiming victory all the way. What a twatwaffle. I can see why Stephen Taylor is so fond of her.

Cons to Canadians: What we do with your money is none of your fucking business.

There's a fascinating and astonishingly childish attack on CTV regarding the forgotten "secret" papers. Let's let the dough-brained yobs and yahoos over at JoJo's bitch and whine about how mucking with those papers was a totally uncool invasion of privacy (all emphasis added):

If CTV found a wallet would they wait a week and then post pictures of the person’s private information on the evening news and the wait for a phone call from the owner? ...

CTV is telling all Canadians with these actions that they exploit your privacy if you accidently leave personal or private business belonging with any of their employees...

So they rifle through private property if you happen to forget it on their premises??? What? Do they have any ethics? ...

See the pattern? How dare CTV rifle through someone's "private" property? Why, the nerve! And yet ... and yet ... what exactly was in those documents? Oh, right:

According to the CTV report, the document reveals much about the money that has been pumped into the Chalk River and into Atomic Energy of Canada Ltd., the Crown corporation that owns it.

One page of the document reveals that the government has spent $$351-million this year in the sprawling Chalk River complex where the NRU reactor was first put into production more than 50 years ago.

It also says that $72-million has been spent to “maintain the option of isotope production.” The 2009 budget, which was released in January, did not specify how much money was being directed towards keeping a regular supply of the radioactive material, which is used in a wide range of medical procedures.

The documents also say there has been a cost overrun at AECL of $100-million in this year alone, said CTV. That includes money to refurbish the Bruce nuclear reactors in Ontario and money to pay for cost overruns at other reactors around the world.

In addition, says the document, the Conservative government has spent $1.7-billion at Chalk River since taking office in 2006.

Refresh my memory ... when exactly did the way the Conservatives spend my tax dollars suddenly become "private" and none of my business?

I'm just curious.

The overwhelming stupid of the Blogging Tories.

There's an old lawyer joke that goes:

"Your Honour, my client could not possibly have committed that murder. First, he wasn't even there. But if he was there, he didn't do it. But if he did it, it was an accident. Besides, that son of a bitch had it coming to him."

I'm sure you can appreciate the point being made here -- the hilarity of someone throwing a number of inconsistent and mutually exclusive excuses against the wall, hoping one of them is going to stick. Welcome to the bizarre and contradictory world of Canada's wanky wingnuts, who are frantically trying to figure out a way to spin this latest clusterfuck:

Sensitive government documents left behind at a CTV News bureau reveal Ottawa has poured far more money into the aging Chalk River nuclear reactor than the public has been told.

The binder of documents was left nearly a week ago at CTV's Ottawa bureau by either Minister of Natural Resources Lisa Raitt or one of her aides. Some of the papers are clearly marked "secret."

Let us now start throwing various excuses against the wall, only to watch them fall harmlessly and stupidly to the floor.


They were marked "secret!" How dare they? Easily the dumbest excuse imaginable. "Hey, guys, check this out, one of those people left this folder and it has the most awesomely embarrassing admissions and ... oh, wait, someone scribbled the word 'Secret' on it. Damn. I guess there's nothing we can do. Bummer."

I will not return to eviscerating this idiocy again, except to point out that, if it's truly "secret," don't take it to a television station with you. That's just fucking retarded. Onward.


The minister didn't forget it, one of her aides did. That makes all the difference. No, it doesn't. Her portfolio, her responsibility, her head on the chopping block for fucking up. End of discussion.


It wasn't them -- someone else must have stolen it and leaked it. An interesting suggestion, given that, to the best of my knowledge, no one in the Conservative Party is making such an accusation. If those documents had been stolen and leaked, one might think that someone fairly high up the food chain in the Cons would be yammering about this all over the airwaves. But, curiously ... silence. Even welfare wingnut Stephen Taylor and Krime Kracker Kid and Boy Detective Steve Janke aren't pushing this conspiracy theory at the moment, so it's reasonably safe to say that no one in a position of power is seriously going to try this cop-out.

(Only the truly, genuinely, massively deranged and deluded of Canada's wanks are trying this defense. You know, like this screeching twit.)


Why did CTV hang onto the documents for a week before exposing them? It's not fair. A good question. Perhaps they were exercising journalistic responsibility and trying to verify them and their origin, which is what I'd do. Perhaps there were a few phone calls to the appropriate people, whose response might have been something like, "You found what? Where!? Fuck. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck! Um ... no comment, we'll get back to you, fuck!"

In any event, there's absolutely nothing untoward about hanging onto docs like that for several days while you try to relate their contents to breaking news. And, besides, what kind of incompetent twatwaffle (*Cough* Lisa Raitt *Cough*) doesn't notice that allegedly "secret" documents have been missing for a week?

There's absolutely nothing suspicious or untoward about that time lag. It's nothing more than a media outlet realizing what they've got, and exercising due diligence to make sure they represent it fairly after (possibly) giving the interested parties a chance to comment.

So, in summary:

"Those documents weren't left behind by the Conservatives, they must have been stolen and maliciously leaked! But even if they were left behind, it wasn't Raitt, it was an aide which makes it OK. And even if it was Raitt, that's not fair 'cuz they were marked 'Super Duper Ultra Double Tippity Top Secret.'"

Here's a suggestion, wanks -- pick a single excuse and go with it, and stop looking like such gullible and desperate buffoons. It doesn't become you.

Except for Hunter and JoJo. It becomes you two irredeemable retards perfectly.

BONUS DUMBASSITUDE: You have to love how that raving whackjob "Alberta Girl" desperately wants to accuse someone of stealing and leaking those documents, but she doesn't want to come right out and make the accusation so she settles for just, you know, insinuating it:

Or - did you ever think that maybe they came to be in CTV's possession some other way??

just sayin?

Ah, yes, that kind of weaselly "I don't know, I'm just sayin'" non-accusatory accusation does take me back:



Nothing ever changes, does it? The douchebaggery lives on.

Go Rachel!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Don't Smoke!

Iggy facts!

Blogging Tory co-founder and poster boy for Canadian wingnut welfare Stephen Taylor horks up another Iggy fact:



Now, if I was that illiterate, I'd be embarrassed by it. But that's just me. I'm guessing Taylor has slightly different standards.

Blogging Tories, dead doctors and the overwhelming sound of crickets.

Anyone else notice that Stephen Taylor's Blogging Tories haven't had a lot to say about the murder of abortion provider Dr. George Tiller lately? An awful lot of embarrassed quiet over there at the moment but I'm sure if you asked them, they'd be terribly, terribly appalled. You just have to ask them first.

Dear National Post: Let me give you a hand.

Canada's National Post -- or the Canwest Catholic Register as we like to think of it here at CC HQ -- ponders deep, theological imponderables:

Commandments lecture series: A professional atheist takes on God's laws

Are the 10 Commandments really enough for today's society? The Royal Ontario Museum will be asking three prominent social commentators over the next three weeks what three new commandments they would add. It kicks off tonight with author, journalist and well-known atheist Christopher Hitchens. Next Tuesday is author A.J. Jacobs and the following week Camille Paglia. Religion reporter Charles Lewis will report live from each event. And we are asking readers to tell us what they might add or subtract to make commandment more relevant today in our comment section.

Here you go, Post ... let me help you out.

You're welcome.

THE IMPENDING HILARITY: Commenter SQ sets the stage for Camille Paglia's appearance with a link to this. I'm sure the entertainment value of Ms. Paglia is going to be off the scale, mostly in a "Holy fuck, what a total Hunter!" kind of way.

It's MASSIVE WANG time in Ottawa!

StageLeft presents ... The Swinging Dick Chronicles. It purely reminds one of Kate McMillan's mostest favouritest blogger in the world, Jeff Godlstein, author of The Cock Slap Papers.

I'm not sure what creeps me out more -- Jeff's fixation with his dick, or Kate's fixation with Jeff. Either one is just plain disturbing.

When you just can't contain the stupid anymore.

God Almighty, Hunter, but you're a whiny little runt.

Hey, I said "runt."

AFTERSNARK: Regular, retarded commenter "MaryT" is her regular, retarded self:

I have to wonder who in the civil service is leaking info and leaving it around for the media to find.

Gosh, Mary, I have no idea. I guess that's just a mystery. Oh, wait ... it isn't:

The binder of documents was left nearly a week ago at CTV's Ottawa bureau by either Minister of Natural Resources Lisa Raitt or one of her aides.

There's a certain irony to people who are too fucking stupid to read constantly complaining about media bias. That just doesn't seem right, does it?

DOUBLE AFTERSNARK: Jeff makes a significant point that I'm guessing everyone over at Hunter's is way too terminally stupid to appreciate:

Whether it was her or her staffer that left the documents behind, the principle of ministerial responsibility applies, and this is clearly an unacceptable lapse.

Precisely. It doesn't matter whose oversight it was, it was Raitt's portfolio as minister and, consequently, the buck stops with her. It's called "accountability" -- something we're all quite aware that Stephen Harper's group of misfits has never heard of. 'Cuz, with this crew, it's always someone else's fault.

I blame Michael Ignatieff.

Heh.

Indeed. I'm guessing you could pre-load that baby with everything you find here.

They'd be embarrassed if they had any shame.

In the beginning (well, OK, just this April), there was the report:

The Department of Homeland Security is warning law enforcement officials about a rise in "rightwing extremist activity," saying the economic recession, the election of America's first black president and the return of a few disgruntled war veterans could swell the ranks of white-power militias.

A footnote attached to the report by the Homeland Security Office of Intelligence and Analysis defines "rightwing extremism in the United States" as including not just racist or hate groups, but also groups that reject federal authority in favor of state or local authority.

"It may include groups and individuals that are dedicated to a single-issue, such as opposition to abortion or immigration," the warning says.

And there was much wailing, and screeching, and gnashing of teeth, and biting the heads off live kittens from the usual suspects who yowled loudly about the unfairness of it all:

Veterans, Pro-Lifers Blast Gov't Report Labeling Them As Possible Rightwing Extremists
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
By Susan Jones, Senior Editor

(CNSNews.com) – Veterans and pro-life groups are among those protesting a Homeland Security report – apparently written by a career bureaucrat – that says current economic and political conditions may give rise to right-wing extremists.

And, lo, the echoes of shrieking outrage hadn't even stopped reverberating before it had in fact come to pass. And when the same thing inevitably happens in Canada, I'm betting the early media coverage will contain a sentence of the form, "While Blogging Tory co-founder Stephen Taylor admitted that the suspect was a member of his blogging aggregator, he insisted that they'd never actually met."

Really, would that surprise anyone?

None dare call it "intellectualism."

Blogging Tories co-founder Stephen Taylor's latest project:


Try to not let the sheer genius of it overwhelm you.

BONUS DUMBASSERY: Sweet Jesus ...



I'm going to go out on a limb and agree with that one. It just feels right.

The tough questions of our times.

Slate's William Saletan serves up a real puzzler:



Gosh, Billy, I don't know ... let me ponder that and I'll get back to you. Coming soon to CC HQ, we ask the question: "Slate journalists: Light them on fire, then piss on them? Or the other way around?"

And there's the interesting difference.

On the one hand (all subsequent emphasis added):

George Tiller, 67, who had been targeted in other attacks over the years, was killed just after 10am yesterday in the lobby of the Reformation Lutheran church in Wichita, where he was acting as an usher during a morning service...

A 51-year-old suspect in the shooting, named as Scott Roeder, was later arrested and charged with first-degree murder and two charges of aggravated assault, according to the Associated Press.

And on the other hand:

(CNN) -- An Arkansas man was arrested Monday in connection with a shooting at a Little Rock military recruiting center that killed one soldier and wounded another, authorities said.
Police identified the suspect as Abdulhakim Mujahid Muhammad, formerly known as Carlos Bledsoe.

Abdulhakim Mujahid Muhammad -- a 24-year-old Little Rock resident formerly known as Carlos Bledsoe -- faces a first-degree murder charge and 15 counts of engaging in a terrorist act, Little Rock Police Chief Stuart Thomas said. The terrorist counts stem from the shots fired at an occupied building.

I'm guessing that someone has a lot of leeway in defining the phrase "terrorist act," and that that's never going to apply to the murder of abortion providers, even in a crowded church lobby. Call it a hunch.

I guess we're even.

So, shortly after the murder of abortion provider Dr. George Tiller, karmic balance is restored to the universe:

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. – Police describe it as a killing motivated by politics and religion: A man upset with the U.S. military drove to a recruiting center and opened fire on two soldiers, fatally wounding one...

William Long, 23, of Conway, died, and Quinton Ezeagwula, 18, of Jacksonville, was wounded and in stable condition.

As the Right would have you appreciate, this now makes everything even, given the relentless, public, years-long denunciation of Mr. Long, his almost daily characterization as a mass-murdering baby killer, ongoing threats against his life and a previous murder attempt against him that ... that ... um, hang on ... you mean none of that actually happened? Oh.

I guess I better rethink this post. I'll get back to you.

He admires dead people.

Blogging Tory Patrick O'Neil is all about the courage:

In fact there were 9 recipients of the Order of Canada who returned their medals specifically to protest the Governor General's action. That decision remains a stain on the honour that can only be removed when Morgentaler is stripped of the award.

Still, now is a good time to reflect on the courage of each of those 9 individuals.

Yes, Mr. O'Neil, let's toast the overwhelming courage of those 9 individuals, including the ones who were already dead. I'm sure their courage will inspire other long-dead people everywhere.

P.S. I notice that Mr. O'Neil has little to say about one of those noble recipients, one Father Lucien Larre, who has his own checkered past. Curiously, those morally-outraged members of the Order never seemed to have a problem sharing an award with him.

How ... odd.

Where are the internment camps? We were promised internment camps.

The next time a liberal of any kind in Canada is murdered for ideological reasons, I think we can safely say that the news release will read something like, "Joe Loon was a quiet man who didn't socialize much, preferring to spend most of his time online, commenting at the well-known Canadian political blog Small Dead Animals."

Here's Kate, comparing the constant, relentless, hate-filled eliminationist rhetoric of Bill O'Reilly to the comedic musings of Jon Stewart with respect to this:



Yes, Kate ... mocking the dumbassery that deserves to be mocked on a late night fake news comedy show is just like howling that someone is a horrific mass-murderer of children who deserves a hideously violent death. I certainly can't tell the difference.

When can we start rounding these people up?

Simple answers to really, really, really stupid questions.

Incredibly dumbass, moronic dipshit Blogging Tory Jabba the Roy:

One Army recruiter was killed Monday and a second was wounded in a shooting at a recruiting office, and a suspect was arrested, police said.

Will the left denounce this?

Answer: Yes, you imbecilic dumbshit.

This has been another episode of "Simple answers to indescribably asinine questions from another retarded Blogging Tory."

Oooooh, Lucy ... you got some 'splainin' to do.

Hey, it's not like the Wingnut Right could have, you know, encouraged anyone to murder abortion provider George Tiller. 'Cuz that would be irresponsible.



Or something like that.

Dear Kate: Fuck off.

It's hard to tell if wanks like Kate McMillan are horrifically stupid or disgustingly dishonest but, really, do they have no sense of history?



Yes, Kate ... putting the kids in charge of something that significant -- what kind of irresponsible dumbshit do you have to be to pull something that brain-damaged? I'm guessing this brain-damaged:

Ties to GOP Trumped Know-How Among Staff Sent to Rebuild Iraq

By Rajiv Chandrasekaran
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, September 17, 2006; A01

... Many of those chosen by O'Beirne's office to work for the Coalition Provisional Authority, which ran Iraq's government from April 2003 to June 2004, lacked vital skills and experience. A 24-year-old who had never worked in finance -- but had applied for a White House job -- was sent to reopen Baghdad's stock exchange. The daughter of a prominent neoconservative commentator and a recent graduate from an evangelical university for home-schooled children were tapped to manage Iraq's $13 billion budget, even though they didn't have a background in accounting.

The decision to send the loyal and the willing instead of the best and the brightest is now regarded by many people involved in the 3 1/2 -year effort to stabilize and rebuild Iraq as one of the Bush administration's gravest errors. Many of those selected because of their political fidelity spent their time trying to impose a conservative agenda on the postwar occupation, which sidetracked more important reconstruction efforts and squandered goodwill among the Iraqi people, according to many people who participated in the reconstruction effort...

To recruit the people he wanted, O'Beirne sought résumés from the offices of Republican congressmen, conservative think tanks and GOP activists. He discarded applications from those his staff deemed ideologically suspect, even if the applicants possessed Arabic language skills or postwar rebuilding experience.

Smith said O'Beirne once pointed to a young man's résumé and pronounced him "an ideal candidate." His chief qualification was that he had worked for the Republican Party in Florida during the presidential election recount in 2000...

The day he arrived in Baghdad, [24-year-old Jay Hallen] met with Thomas C. Foley, the CPA official in charge of privatizing state-owned enterprises. (Foley, a major Republican Party donor, went to Harvard Business School with President Bush.) Hallen was shocked to learn that Foley wanted him to take charge of reopening the stock exchange.

"Are you sure?" Hallen said to Foley. "I don't have a finance background."

Sometimes, the stupid is crippling, isn't it? Just. Fucking. Crippling.

Did not think that one through, did we?

A really, really, really, really, really stupid Blogging Tory. And then, via Progressive blogger James Morton, we have some folks who actually think about stuff and shit.

Stephen Taylor's Blogging Tories: When the issues are complex and nuanced and you need some thoughtful and insightful deliberation. But you still want to know what the retards think.

Middle East Terrorism

Yet more violence and terrorism has erupted in Palestinian territories. Throwing rocks and ambushing workers, the outbreak of violence is another sign of the criminal thugs that controls the area. For every negotiation and attempt at peace making there is a fresh affront to dignity and decency of honest people trying to better their lives. The villains have no shame and rebuff every attempt to broker peace or compromise. Their blood lust and violence shows no sign of abating and the rash actions of these violent mobs will only incite further reprisals and bloodshed. There is no reasoning with this sort of extremist, when confronted they lash out, burning homes and crops, attacking with any weapon that comes to hand. They know no shame... and Hamas are bad guys too.

Mobs of Jewish settlers went on a rampage in the West Bank Monday, attacking Palestinian labourers and setting fire to agricultural land to protest against an Israeli government crackdown on unauthorized outposts in the territory.
Six Palestinian labourers riding on a minivan were injured when stone-throwing settlers attacked them, the workers said.

All the news that's fit to ignore.

Majority of Blogging Tories: "George Tiller? Never heard of him. Why?"

"Terrorism" by any other name ...

"Terrorism":

S: (n) terrorism, act of terrorism, terrorist act (the calculated use of violence (or the threat of violence) against civilians in order to attain goals that are political or religious or ideological in nature; this is done through intimidation or coercion or instilling fear)

Can you give us a concrete example of that? Ah, here we go:

doubt there will be a lot of Doctors lining up to take over his practice

We all hope you are right about that!

Can we finally describe these folks for what they are, and start rounding them up? Please?

Well, sure, there's that, too.

Over at Blogging Tory blog The Politic, Matthew doesn't want us all jumping to unfortunate conclusions:

Associated Press Puts Story on Spin Cycle

May 31, 2009 · By Matthew Campbell

It’s sad when you have to turn to CNN to get a better scope of the story. Not that there aren’t wolves in sheeps’ clothing within the otherwise pro-life movement, but did anyone check into whether the doctor had some bad debts or domestic disputes recently?

Good thinking, Matthew. Why just assume that one of the nation's most high-profile abortion providers was snuffed because of, you know, abortiony stuff? Personally, I think it was a drug deal gone bad. Yeah, let's go with that. I'm thinking crack.

In unrelated news, Matthew is dumb as a sack of turds. I'm guessing that last observation was painfully redundant.

OH NOEZ!!1!111!! Colour me shocked. And make sure you read the first few comments where readers suggest that maybe it's time the FBI took a long, hard look at conspiracy charges. Granted, it's probably not the dark, sinister, years-in-the-planning conspiracy involved in pushing Ed Snell off his car but still, you just never know, do you?

Don't poke the retard! Too late ...

*Snicker* ...



Ah, the indescribable irony:

Someone once said, "as it stands now, there is no deficit, and there won't be". That someone was, of course, an idiot.

Movin' on ...

HEH. Indeed. Particularly this bit:

The "best" the anti-choice side can come up with of pro-choice violence is the assault on Ed Snell, who was attacked by the boyfriend of a woman he was verbally harassing from the top of his car...a woman who was not seeking an abortion. Add to that, pushes and shoves in self-defense.

Quite so. I mean, just how deranged do you have to be to think that, somehow, those two things balance each other out? Seriously, how monstrously, homicidally deluded and jaw-droppingly batshit fucking crazy do you need to be to think that both sides are equally at fault and to defend the ongoing, violent murders of abortion providers by bringing up the case of Ed Snell over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and ...

Oh.

Patrick Ross: Justifying the relentless slaughter of abortion doctors because, see, there was this Ed Snell guy on the roof of his car, so all those baby-killing doctors had it coming.

At least, that's how I read it.