Your daily retarded asshole.

And over at the He-Man Woman Hater's Club, Spanky takes discourse to a whole new low:

Gay Marriage: Hazardous to your Health

According to the Cameron research, married gays and lesbians lived 24 fewer years than their conventionally married counterparts. In Denmark, the country with the longest history of gay marriage, for 1990-2002, married heterosexual men died at a median age of 74 while the 561 partnered gays died at an average age of 51.

Conveniently, retarded asshole Spanky doesn't provide a URL for his insane bigotry; otherwise, we might have learned neat-o stuff like this (all emphasis added):

Legitimate studies have shown that smoking shortens the lifespan of the smoker from one to seven years. In their own study of life expectancy for married gay men and lesbians in Norway and Denmark, disgraced researchers Paul and Kirk Cameron "found" that "engaging in homosexual behavior reduces the lifespan by 24 years." ...

According to the Cameron research, married gay men and lesbians lived 24 fewer years than their conventionally married counterparts. In Denmark, the country with the longest history of gay marriage, for 1990-2002, married heterosexual men died at a median age of 74 while the 561 partnered gays died at an average age of 51...

While it all sounds vaguely persuasive, the studies are based on obituaries Cameron found in the gay press -- hardly conclusive or systematic.

Um, yeah ... that's kind of disturbing. Let's read on:

While Paul Cameron's "research" is being lapped up by God-bothering Web sites, he is regarded as something of a joke by the science community and anybody aware of his controversial history.

His latest news release suggests that he presented this research during the annual Eastern Psychological Association Convention in Philadelphia. According to his press release, "Drs. Paul and Kirk Cameron told attendees of the Eastern Psychological Association Convention . . ."

In fact, he did not present and was not on the agenda at this meeting. Cameron was neither a registered speaker nor a member of the convention faculty. If he "told" anybody of his latest research, it was likely to have been uninvited and interrupted by the listener's swift departure.

Oh, man, that Paul Cameron, he quite the funny guy, isn't he?

Ah, that Paul Cameron. He's the guy who got kicked out of the APA so he started that publication,"Psychologica l Reports" so he could publish his own "research". His "peers" are those doctors of theology who make 100K salaries working for Focus on the Family.

Attaboy, Spanky -- quoting Paul Cameron to lend a sheen of respectability to your dumbassitude. What, Matt Drudge wasn't available?

AFTERSNARK: I can't imagine I need to point this out to most of my regular readers, but you'll notice that Spanky's headline, "Gay Marriage: Hazardous to your Health," has nothing to do with the actual text of the article.

If one wanted to establish that gay marriage was unhealthy, then the appropriate comparison would be to compare the life span of married gays to that of unmarried gays.

If, however, you're comparing gay lifespans to non-gay lifespans, what you're clearly doing is trying to draw a conclusion about the health implications of simply being gay, completely independent of marital status.

You know that. I know that. Jesus Christ, even my cats understand that. Spanky, on the other hand ... well, let's say I chose the phrase "retarded asshole" with great deliberation.

TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE: Spanky also reveals that Al Sharpton's daughter is not -- I repeat, NOT -- a "nappy-headed ho." We can all rest easy.

AND THE STORY KEEPS GOING ... and going ... and going ...