It's that undercover black man again ...

... and he's inviting you to drop by and see the fruits of your labour.

Conservatives are just fucking retarded: Part 6,428,081.

How stupid do you have to be to be the American President? About this stupid.

On the other hand ...

Dark Blue Tory has no patience with cut-and-run cowards:

Premier runs from accountability.

In my continuing onslaught against the provincial Liberal government of Dalton McGuinty (and my upcoming case for his removal as Premier), this Toronto Sun columnist points out how he decided to take the cowardly way out of this session of the Legislature.

This, my friends, is a Premier afraid to face an election and a Premier afraid to tackle real issues...

"...They left by the back door -- leaving on the order table scores of private member's bills. It is painfully obvious why Premier Dalton McGuinty and his Liberals took the coward's way out of this particular session.

In totally unrelated news:

Government leaders wouldn't let [Peter] MacKay speak to the issue. MacKay dodged reporters after leaving the house.

That is, of course, different.

Holy. Freaking. God.

Where to even begin?

Stevie Harper, Statesmanish

Andrew Mayeda writes about the very busy Prime Minister of New Canada and his doings at the G-8 summit. Seems very busy Stevie is too busy to confer with the likes of Bono, Geldof and Youssou. Why he's got far more impotent, er, important things to do. Like sniffing every chair that his bestest pal George sits in.

Stevie's probably very busy practicing his toy saber rattling in advance of his meeting with Russia's Putin,

"Prime Minister Stephen Harper will press Russian President Vladimir Putin on his country's democratic record when the two leaders meet Thursday at the G8 Summit, Canadian officials have confirmed."

Apparently, Stevie is concerned by Russia's treatment of journalists. Maybe he can suggest a strategy that doesn't include their suspicious deaths in favour of his own method, don't talk to them, cut off all access unless they're willing stenographers. So much tidier.

Like a good lapdog, Stevie is going to get up on his hind legs and quiver some of his chins at Putin.

"The reported meeting between Harper and Putin comes as tensions remain high between Russia and the United States over a U.S. missile defence shield.

Putin has slammed the proposed U.S. anti-missile bases in Europe, telling The Globe and Mail that he would aim Russian ballistic and cruise missiles at European targets if the U.S. went ahead with the plan to build the bases.

In his only public statement on the issue, Harper assured Putin that there is nothing to fear about the U.S. plans."

Very busy, have a biscuit. So with all of that, plus yawping about the Liberal's failure to meet the Kyoto targets that he plans to ignore, one can imagine that Stevie just can't find a minute to meet famous anti-poverty advocates.

"The celebrity trio has requested to meet with the prime minister several times over the last few days, but has received no response from the Prime Minister’s Office, said Taylor Thompson, a spokeswoman for DATA, an aid organization co-founded by Bono and Geldof.

Thompson said Canadians are known as “great, generous people,” but Harper’s team “is not currently doing them justice.”

Too darn busy to meet, or to respond to a request for a meeting. Because that might just encourage them dirty hippies. Besides, they've had the gall to criticize Canada for failing to meet it's commitments.

"Geldof earlier this week attacked Canada’s aid record. The outspoken singer, who co-founded DATA with Bono and organized the Live 8 series of concerts in 2005, accused Canadian officials this week of blocking the G8 from making specific aid commitments at the summit. The prime minister’s office denies the allegation."

I guess the dirty hippies don't realize that all criticisms of New Canada must be back-dated and directed to the previous government. Silly dirty hippies, they think they can pressure Stevie to honour agreements. They don't know Stevie and they couldn't find Kelowna on a map.

"At the 2005 G8 summit in Gleneagles, Scotland, the group pledged to double aid to Africa by 2010-11.

Harper says Canada is on track to meet the commitment, but DATA says the government will need to increase aid funding by $479 million over the next two years to keep its promise.

The PMO has promised to provide figures to counter DATA’s claim, but has yet to do so."

That's because the department of making shit up is also very busy. So, who has time to meet with famous people that care about alleviating poverty, surely nobody of any importance.

"The U2 front man, accompanied by fellow Irish rocker-activist Bob Geldof and Senegalese singer Youssou N’Dour, met on the sidelines of the summit on Wednesday with U.S. President George W. Bush, German Chancellor Angela Merkel, French President Nicolas Sarkozy and Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi."

Poor Stevie, working overtime to embarrass himself on the international stage is hard. I hope Mr. Putin is ready to face the full weight of Stevie's indignation and suffer the threat that Canada will stand right behind George of America shouting, 'So there'. I can just imagine how impressed old Vlad will be, with that creepy, KGB grin on his face.

Apparently, they all DO look alike to Kate.

It really is a Delisle, Saskatchewan kind of morning, as Canada's Lowest Common Denominatrix™ comes to the defense of unfairly persecuted dark-skinned people. (No, really, I'll wait for the hysterical laughter to peter out.)

On the other hand, when Faux News misidentifies Rep. John Conyers (D-MI), well, I'm sure you'll appreciate that Kate is a busy little screech harpy, so some of those darkies are just going to have to fend for themselves.

Awwwwwwwkward ...

And as a fast-breaking followup to this piece from a couple days back, we now have:

Document: Iran Caught Red-Handed Shipping Arms to Taliban

NATO officials say they have caught Iran red-handed, shipping heavy arms, C4 explosives and advanced roadside bombs to the Taliban for use against NATO forces, in what the officials say is a dramatic escalation of Iran's proxy war against the United States and Great Britain.

So, if I understand all this correctly, we (Canada) are over there to support Afghanistan, who is now in bed with Iran, who is shipping munitions to the Taliban to be used against NATO forces -- that is, us.

Do I have that right? Did I miss anything?

OH, LORD, YOU HAVE TO READ IT TO BELIEVE IT. Canadian screech harpy Kate McMillan is all over this, too, but let's see where her thought processes take us:

You know what this means, don't you?

The coalition analysis says munitions recovered in two Iranian convoys, on April 11 and May 3, had "clear indications that they originated in Iran. Some were identical to Iranian supplied goods previously discovered in Iraq."

The April convoy was tracked from Iran into Helmand province and led a fierce firefight that destroyed one vehicle, according to the official analysis. A second vehicle was reportedly found to contain small arms ammunition, mortar rounds and more than 650 pounds of C4 demolition charges.

A second convoy of two vehicles was spotted on May 3 and led to the capture of five occupants and the seizure of RPG-7mm rockets and more than 1,000 pounds of C4, the analysis says.

Also among the munitions are components for the lethal EFPs, or explosive formed projectiles, the roadside bombs that U.S. officials say Iran has provided to Iraqi insurgents with deadly results.

It means that instead of entering into difficult negotiations with the reclusive Taliban, there is an opportunity at formal diplomacy and a Jack Layton style compromise with the Iranian regime.

We get "peace in our time" and Ahmadinejad gets to destroy only half of Israel.

See, I thought what it meant was that we (Canada) were investing time, money and lives helping to reconstruct a country that was now officially trying to kill us.

Kate, on the other hand, concludes from all of this that the Taliban are bad people. Or something like that. And maybe Jack Layton is an idiot. I don't know -- I can never keep up with where Kate's brain stem takes her.

And you started off so well, Mr. Erl.

Blogging Tory Mr. Erl gives one brief pause that he might actually not be as batshit crazy as the vast majority of his BT colleagues:

I don't really have much to say about this except that Mr. Casey should watch where he steps for the next little while and should be congratulated for doing what he thought was right. No matter how angry you are at the poor guy for voting against the government, you have to commend the guy on his dedication to his beliefs...

Good, good ... tell me more ...

People should be impressed by this man. He says "I won't vote for the budget if this is in it" and he actually doesn't.

Yes, yes, oh God, yes ... principle ... thoughtful nuance ... and then, the inevitable BT crash and burn:

A politician that tells the truth. An odd sight in Ottawa before this Tory government came into power...Mr. Harper's team is actually doing a good job of holding their promises...that is something we can all be proud of...

Yes, Mr. Erl, that's it. Whenever I think of the Stephen Harper government, it's their stunning ability to keep their word that always leaps out at me.

P.S. And your fawning adoration for that sleazy, little hack Brian Lemon? That didn't really help your credibility much, either.

My God, I love being right: Part 3,819.

Go. Read. Take your time. Concentrate especially on this closing excerpt:

The northern Kurdish regions of Iraq have consistently been more peaceful than the rest of Iraq, so this "handover" was purely symbolic and nothing else but, hey, let's not let the facts get in the way of some mindless cheerleading.

Besides, it's not clear how long things are going to stay quite that peaceful:

Turkish troops mass at Iraq border for possible strike

From south and north, Iraq's Kurdish region felt pressure from two sides, as saboteurs bombed a vital bridge link to Baghdad, and Turkish troops across the border massed for a possible strike.

And if things go downhill in a hurry, I'll do my best to keep you properly informed since, God knows, you won't hear any of the bad news from Kate or her yapping minions, will you?

Why, yes ... now that you mention it, I am a fucking genius:

Several thousand Turkish troops crossed into northern Iraq early Wednesday to chase Kurdish guerrillas who attack Turkey from bases there, two Turkish security officials said. Turkey's foreign minister denied its troops had entered Iraq.

Your move, Kate.

Pardon me, Scooter?

I can't wait for the Canadian dumbshit-o-sphere to start weighing in with their junior high school opinions on this:

Pardon a sensitive topic for White House
Bush faces dilemma in case of ex-Cheney staffer Libby

The sentence imposed on former White House aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby yesterday put President Bush in the position of making a decision he has tried to avoid for months: Trigger a fresh political storm by pardoning a convicted perjurer or let one of the early architects of his administration head to prison.

The prospect of a pardon has become so sensitive inside the West Wing that top aides have been kept out of the loop, and even Bush friends have been told not to bring it up with the president. In any debate, officials expect Vice President Cheney to favor a pardon, while other aides worry about the political consequences of stepping into a case that stems from the origins of the Iraq war and renewing questions about the truthfulness of the Bush administration.

No, really, let's crack open a cold one and wait to see which Blogging Tories embarrass their species by pontificating on this topic while forgetting to mention salient details such as:

If Bush were to decide to pardon Libby, he would have to short-circuit the normal process. Under Justice Department guidelines, Libby would not qualify for a pardon. The guidelines require applicants to wait at least five years after being released from prison. The review process after the submission of an application typically can take two years before a decision is made.

But I absolutely can't wait for someone to try this grotesque illogic (*cough* Dr. Roy *cough*):

[National Review] contended that Libby had been "found guilty of process crimes," when the special prosecutor never brought charges relating to the leak of CIA officer Valerie Plame's name: "He is a dedicated public servant caught in a crazy political fight that should have never happened, convicted of lying about a crime that the prosecutor can't even prove was committed."

Yeah, goddamit ... "convicted of lying about a crime that the prosecutor can't even prove was committed." I mean, Jesus, Scooter didn't commit the crime, he only committed perjury when he lied about it afterwards. I mean, when did perjury related to a non-existent crime become such a big fucking deal? Oh, wait ... that's when.

So let's go, BTs!! I frequently accuse you of being vacuous, lamebrained dumbasses and, so far, you haven't let me down yet. Now would be a bad time to start.

We have ALWAYS been at war with Eurasia.

May 15, 2007:

Before the vote, [Peter] MacKay said Tory MPs would be happy to back the budget bill, but wouldn't be forced to vote that way.

"We won't throw a member out of caucus for voting his conscience,'' he said. "There will be no whipping, flipping, hiring or firing on budget votes as we saw with the Liberal government.''

Three weeks later:

Nova Scotia MP ejected from Tory caucus after voting against budget bill

... [Conservative MP Bill] Casey - one of the longest serving Tories in the House of Commons - was summarily ejected from the Conservative caucus hours after joining the Opposition Liberals and New Democrats in opposing the bill, which sets the March 19 budget into motion.

And the grand prize for unintentional hilarity:

"He knew the consequences of his action," said Government Whip Jay Hill.

Well, not if he believed that lying sack of shit Peter MacKay, he didn't. But I suspect we're just splitting hairs here, aren't we?

HOW EXACTLY DID YOU GET THAT DEGREE, JARRETT? Blogging Tory Jarrett Plonka makes one wonder how he got himself a history degree when he can't seem to remember what happened only last month:

Casey

Good for him. I know the Tories said free votes would be on everything except financial bills ...

A friendly piece of advice, Jarrett: When you start applying for a position as a historian, I wouldn't go using your blog as a supporting reference. I'm just sayin'.

I have a good memory. It's just short.

Have you ever noticed how folks who can't remember what they did only a few months ago are the same ones who can tell you in salacious detail what Bill Clinton was up to back in 1994?

Go figure.

Surge accomplished! Or maybe not.

When is a "surge" not a "surge?" When it's not working yet.

"Bob Barker ... come on down!"

After 35 years, Bob Barker is finally hangin 'em up. And who will be able to forget such classic Price is Right moments as:

One-upmanship, Pharyngula style.

Two idiots and beer ... there's something strangely familiar about that ... oh, right:


Or two country rubes ... yeah, we can handle that, too:

Dear Canadian wanks: I'll bet you never saw THAT coming.

Awwwwwwwwkward ...

Karzai: Tehran is 'very close friend'
Embrace comes as U.S. repeats charge arms made in Iran are flowing to Taliban

Afghan President Hamid Karzai gave Iran his full embrace Monday, saying it has been his country's "very close friend," even as U.S. officials meeting with him here repeated their accusation that Iranian-made weapons were flowing to Taliban fighters.

Suddenly, all that unconditional support for the Afghan mission is looking a bit strained.

It's a pro-choice thing.

Because, here at CC HQ, we're all about choice. There's the version Chester found, and then there's this one. Enjoy.

I'm sorry ... do I know you?

How amusing ... apparently, someone has taken members of the "Lock those fuckers up in Gitmo and throw away the key" Canadian wankerhood, and replaced them with folks who are all about civil rights and due process and socialist, leftard, moonbat stuff like that there.

Right-wing trolls will, of course, have no idea what I'm talking about.

Sadly, No! does Mark Steyn.

It's always entertaining to watch experts go to work.

P.S. Just in case you needed some help to get up to speed ...

BONUS TRACK: There are some amusing comments over at that Sadly, No! piece -- I particularly like this departure from reality:

Over at Vox Day I found the most deliciously retarded conspiracy theory ever along with a clue to how some Bushies will try to spin his support for the immigration bill. Even people as dumb as this aren’t buying it though:

I was just told that this immigration bill was the price elicited by the Democrats to continue funding the war in Iraq by someone who I would call a Bush true believer.

I think that this is instead something that Bush was desirous of doing, and was happy to see the Republican Congressional losses because Hastert’s House leadership stood in the way of enacting these neo-socialist policies.

At least my conspiracy theory is compatible with the action of holding off the firing of Rumsfeld until the day after the election..

Other commenters are so over him they’re calling him a “lying fratboy asshole”. Awesome.

And Chester always has a few choice words.

This is almost too easy.

Breaking news: Rep. William Jefferson (D-LA) (he of the $90,000 in his freezer) has been officially indicted.

Now, any bets on how many Blogging Tories, all of whom managed to avert their eyes from the cesspool of Republican corruption happening all these several months, will suddenly re-learn their outrage?

Come on -- I'll give you odds.

THAT DIDN'T TAKE LONG. How predictable -- loyal right-wing stenographer and lap dog Jonathan Strong is all over it. Come on -- he can't be the only sleazy hypocrite in that lot.

THE DUMBASSITUDE GROWS. Golly gee ... is anyone surprised that deranged street person Joel Johannesen is creaming himself over this? That was definitely one of your safer bets.