Dear Blogging Tories: Here's what I'm gonna do.

You know, it's just not that much fun slapping the Blogging Tories around the room anymore. There's no challenge to it -- it's kind of like beating your 5-year-old nephew at chess, then prancing around the room, yelling, "Whoo hoo! In your face! Yeahhhh!!"

Mostly, there's no real enjoyment in taking their arguments, on a regular basis, and disemboweling them utterly, when the best comeback you can ever expect is something about the intellectual level of, "What a hysterical moonbat," or "Oh, yeah? Well, you're just a Fiberal! So there!"

Examples? Oh, puhleeze ... where to even begin? Working backwards chronologically, we have the irrepressible Jordan Alcock, who thinks denigrating my readers with photoshopped pics is just hilariously funny. Yeah, Jordan, I'm sure that's a real scream at Young Conservative get-togethers. I'll bet the chicks just swoon over dynamite material like that.

Then there's Jack of Jack's Newswatch who, after I pointed out that he was full of it, followed up one of his own commenter's note of "Always nice to have visitors, isn't it?" with the thoroughly indefensible, "They drop by now and then." Witty. Very witty. I don't think Brent Butt is worried about having to get a day job anytime soon.

And after a fairly detailed post of mine involving laptops, privacy and civil rights, we have "Neo Conservative" testing the limits of his intellectual prowess, referring to your humble scribe with phrases like "yappy little dog", "perv" and "putz." Wow, dude, that's like ... deep, you know. And, of course, the list goes on and on and tediously on. So, what to do?

Not surprisingly, most of these individuals feel thoroughly justified in dismissing any critical commentary from this corner because, in their opinion, I lack the requisite social graces to engage in their typical level of sophisticated banter. In short, all of my devastating logic and objective analysis when I tear them a new orifice can be dismissed because I have -- what's the phrase they like to use? -- ah, yes ... a "potty mouth." That's so cute. And so annoyingly inappropriate, given their own talent for name-calling, wouldn't you say?

So here's what I'm gonna do.

I would like to engage the BTs in actual discourse. Real discourse. Where we engage on the field of intellectual competition, and see whose ideas carry the day. No, seriously ... stop laughing. I mean it.

And to that end, I'm prepared to put away my Dumbass-o-saurus, and play nice, and be polite, and say "Please" and "Thank you," and only say "Fuck you, you lying, piece of shit, dumbass motherfucker" when it's absolutely called for, or if it involves Brian Lemon.

I envision an attempt at investigating current events something along the lines of those used at sites like, say, Talking Points Memo or Media Matters, where the name-calling is kept to a minimum and is replaced by actual logic, accompanied by links to the appropriate references to bolster one's arguments, and where arguments aren't dismissed with infantile inanities like, "Oh, they're all leftist moonbats at that site!," and painstaking eviscerations of someone's position aren't met with dumbass comebacks like, "Hey, thanks for the links!"

I also envision the idea that, if you post something hideously stupid, and it gets ripped to shreds and is nailed bleeding to a door, you have the intellectual honesty to admit that you were full of shit, know what I mean? Unlike, say, this worthless, lying, piece of shit, dumbass, weaselly motherfucker.

So, what's it gonna be? Are you willing to actually engage in some intellectual discourse? Or do we get the same childish bullshit from you folks over and over? Are you men? Or are you Kate McMillans?

I'm waiting.