Subpoenas and lawsuits and Catholics, oh my!

OK, let's follow the bouncing dogma, shall we? We have a child support case involving, from 1994, then-Archbishop of Portland William Levada, who has since gone on to be the chief guardian of Catholic doctrine worldwide, thereby causing the testicles of altar boys around the globe to shrivel in fear into their body cavities.

We have lawyers for Pope Ratzo the First, arguing that his Popeliness should be immune from liability in a case involving child abuse by a seminarian in Texas because he (the Pope), as a head of state, automatically has diplomatic immunity and, furthermore, whaddya gonna do about it?

And, tying it all together, we have the aforementioned William Levada who has recently agreed to "waive diplomatic immunity and answer questions about sex abuse by Roman Catholic priests after he takes over as the church's guardian on doctrine - the Vatican post formerly held by Pope Benedict."

I swear, only the Catholics could make Scientology look appealing.