"In the criminal justice system, there are stupid lawbreakers, really stupid lawbreakers, and then there's Lloydminster's village idiot Patrick 'Lord Baron Twatrick von Loadenhosen' Ross, who has -- even in the midst of being a university dropout, convicted malicious defamer and undischarged bankrupt living at home at the age of 40 -- managed to outdo himself."
"This is his story."
It appears that the Twatster (even as he currently owes me $112K+ pursuant to a judgment for malicious defamation, and whose family has quietly signed over Patrick's ownership of a substantial chunk of valuable Saskatchewan farmland he inherited from his grandfather to a close family relative in order to conceal his assets from the collection authorities ... but I digress ... back to my story) is very well on the hook for substantial restitution charges related to a business owner that now has to change his business contact information and cards and letterhead because Patrick thought it would be a total hoot to impersonate said business owner and spend several hours putting said business owner's name and professional contact info on dozens and dozens of spammers' mailing lists, to the point where this businessman has no choice but to reset all of his own business info at considerable expense to finally stop getting calls at all hours of the day and night.
The stupidity involved here is that Patrick did all this -- which would appear to constitute criminal acts of harassment and identity fraud -- from his own hotel room in Grande Prairie, so that all of that nefarious idiocy was trivially traceable back to him via recorded IP addresses, to the point where even Inspector Clouseau or David Menzies could have broken the case wide open, the end result being that said business owner is now preparing documentation to file a claim for financial restitution for aforementioned expenses, estimated to fall somewhere in the range of $9,000 to $17,000, which Patrick will most definitely have to pay without having bankruptcy as an option since he's already in bankruptcy and bankruptcy does not work recursively.
And there you have it.
PRODUCED BY DICK WOLF.
BONUS TRACK: Regular reader directs me to this, which certainly seems to describe the idea of surreptitiously transferring ownership of assets to conceal said assets from creditors:
I was going to suggest that no one could be that dumb and yet ... here we are.
IT GETS FUNNIER. Seriously, as hard to believe as it might be, it gets funnier. There is little question that Patrick Ross will have to pay restitution to cover the expenses of a business having to completely re-do all its contact information. And from what I am reading on the social media thread covering all this, if Patrick is not able to pay up, he will go to jail, at which point the government will cover the restitution, and reimburse itself by paying itself the $5.14 per day Patrick would normally have earned working it off behind bars. Do the math: Even if we estimate restitution costs at a conservative (pun intended) $10,000, it would take Patrick over five years to pay if off.
It's hard to believe that someone might go to jail for over five years over a debt of only several thousand dollars, and yet ... here we are.