I'm sure others have already blogged about this, but I'm supremely amused by the NRO's in-house killing machine John "Rambo" Derbyshire, who criticized the victims of the recent Virginia Tech shootings thusly:
At the very least, count the shots and jump him reloading or changing hands.
"Count the shots," suggests John. To which one can reasonably respond with the following hypothetical:
You're in a crowded classroom. You hear a door at the back of the room open and, a few seconds later, a fusillade of shots. You turn quickly, and see a man, blazing away with a handgun in each hand. Quickly: how many shots has he fired already, and how many more until he's out of ammo? Whoops, sorry, you just took too much time, and now you're dead. So let's make this easier.
I have two (again, hypothetical) handguns, John. I'm too far away for you to be able to identify them, but I want you to tell me how many shots I have available with a full magazine in each. No, you don't get to ask me what the makes of the guns are, and you can't have a closer look, and I'm sure as hell not going to tell you if I have oversized magazines or anything like that. So, John, tell me after which shot you can be relatively certain I'm out of ammo.
No, no, don't rush ... take your time, John. It's not like anyone's life depends on you making just the right snap decision or anything.
Oh, wait ... actually, it does. Bummer. Bang. You're dead.