Chronicles of Twatrick: "Recent situation," you say?

From the box of Crayolas of Lloydminster's Patrick Ross -- who was imprudent enough to send a lengthy missive to me directly -- we have the curious accusation related to Patrick's utterly bogus charges of criminal harassment against your humble scribe [emphasis added]:

The detail that your client is conducting these sorts of activities in spite of the recent situation in my family is significantly aggravating. It appears that your client is attempting to exploit this recent situation, and that is absolutely intolerable.

As you can see, Patrick refers twice to some "recent situation" related to his family, but nowhere in his entire magnum dopus does he clarify what he is talking about. I can speculate wildly (and I have heard rumours), but I will leave it at ... if anyone knows what this means, or how it might be explained by various family members suddenly spending time at the home of Patrick's elderly father, by all means, drop me a line.

Thank you kindly.

Chronicles of Twatrick: Admitting he has nothing.

In the midst of Patrick Ross' current shrieking and bloviating about how furious he is over ... I have no fucking idea, and insisting that he had filed a police report with the RCMP over someone taking a picture of his house (which I neither arranged nor paid for), it is worth pointing out how Patrick -- when called on his blovating -- reluctantly conceded that he had nothing, and proceeded to frantically move the goalposts.

Here's a snippet from the "Your Lloydminster" Facebook group, where Patrick -- after howling in outrage over alleged criminal activity -- is schooled by someone who points out (quite correctly) that he has nothing:

Let's unpack the mind-melting stupidity of this phrase by Patrick:

"Frequently the issue isn't the taking of the pictures, the issue is what you were doing when you took the pictures."

"What you were doing when you took the pictures"? Let me answer that ... what you were doing when you took the pictures was ... taking the pictures. It's depressing that one has to actually explain that but ... there you go.

Note also how, when called on his bloviating, Patrick does not admit he's wrong; rather, he desperately moves the goalposts, making the incident now about intent rather than what actually took place. In short, realizing that he is full of crap, rather than own up to his full-of-crapness, Patrick immediately decides to change the subject.

And this happens more than once, as Patrick tries the same nonsense with someone else and again is educated on how the law works:

Quite simply, what the above shows is that Patrick, very reluctantly, has publicly admitted that he cannot point to anything that represents criminal behaviour, choosing instead to flail around and bitch and whine about masks and license plates, which have nothing to do with whether there was any basis to file a police report. And if Patrick continues to insist that there was law-breaking going on, I will point to these two admissions which make it clear even he doesn't believe that.

Sometimes, Patrick is his own worst enemy. And by "sometimes," I mean "always."

BONUS TRACK: As Patrick Ross recently sent me a lengthy CCed email rather than exclusively through my lawyers, he should have no expectation of privacy or privilege associated with that email, so I will reproduce just one of the early sentences:

"Please review the attached materials. Based on your client's activities, I think I will refrain from providing you or him with any kind of information, as I have good reason to doubt how it will be used."

Understand the position that Patrick is taking ... he is, based on alleged activities that would have happened in the last few days, trying to justify his last many, many weeks of contemptuous dismissal of his legal obligations.

No, it doesn't work that way.

DOUBLE PLUS BONUS: Yes, I still want any information about Patrick's whereabouts. Specifically, I want to know who or what is parking in the driveway at the Lloydminster address that most readers are now familiar with so I will not reproduce it here.

Patrick has already conceded (reluctantly) that there is nothing illegal or actionable with someone driving by, stopping, taking a picture, then driving on, as long as they stay on public property the entire time. If there is more than one vehicle in the driveway, I would be delighted to get a picture with legible license plates (although I will under no circumstances publish those license plates).

It is somewhat unclear what vehicle Patrick is driving these days, but the original rumour was a Ford Escape, so if a Ford Escape shows up in that driveway, that would be immensely valuable information to me.

Done playing around here.

Chronicles of Twatrick: Even the RCMP doesn't care.

As regular readers will recall, Lloydminster's favourite undischarged bankrupt and incel Patrick "Mom, make CC stop picking on me!!!" Ross recently whined about being surveilled at his alleged Lloydminster address, an incident I neither organized nor paid for, and he further insisted he had filed a police report with the RCMP, charging ... well, honestly, I have no fucking idea what he reported since he subsequently and reluctantly conceded that nothing of what he was describing broke the law in any way. But I digress. Onward.

As Patrick claims to have complained to the constabulary (and provided the name of the constable who supposedly took the report), I took it upon myself to personally phone the Lloyd detachment of the RCMP on Monday. The constable of note was not there, so I left my name, phone number and e-mail address, inviting her to contact me whereupon I could explain at length how Patrick is a sleazy, dissembling, disingenuous, lying piece of human garbage and almost certainly lied entirely about that incident. In short, I decided to deal with this up front to clarify how Patrick is a lying, dissembling, etc., etc.

As of the next day, I had heard nothing so I called a second time, but said constable was still not there, so I just left a reminder as to how I was more than happy to chat about that police report and how Patrick Ross is a sleazy, disingenuous ... well, you get the idea.

It has now been five days, and I have heard nothing, suggesting that the Lloydminster cops think they have better things to do with their time than spend it on someone who (I'm guessing) everyone knows is a bloviating dumbass who makes bogus police reports on a regular basis.

I am still perfectly willing to have that chat, Constable Harding. You have my contact information.

Call me.

Chronicles of Twatrick: It's deadline day.

As regular readers of this little corner of the Intertoobz will know, a while back and pursuant to my collection proceedings against Lloydminster's Patrick "Cabin in the Woods" Ross for the over $100,000 that he owes me, Patrick was delivered of a voluntary financial questionnaire by the Saskatchewan sheriffs; to no one's surprise, he ignored it.

Patrick was then delivered of the very same but mandatory version of that questionnaire. You'll never guess what happened next. Go on, guess. You'll never guess. OK ... he ignored that one, too.

As I am a generous and accommodating man, I graciously gave Patrick until today -- Friday, April 28, 2023 -- to honour his legal obligation and return a properly filled out form chronicling his financial details. Instead, Patrick is now insisting -- in a totally mind-bending interpretation of jurisprudence -- that because someone (who I had neither hired nor paid) showed up at his claimed residence, took a picture and left that he has no further legal responsibilities here.

It doesn't work that way, today is still the deadline, and if Patrick chooses to blow this off, things are going to happen, and they will be more serious and considerably more expensive for Patrick, but that is a choice he will have to make before the end of today.

The end.

P.S. OK, not the end. I am still perfectly fine with people who run across Patrick keeping me informed of his whereabouts. One of his recent tweets claims he's back in Grande Prairie, but Patrick does love to play games and spew misdirection so I would still be watching for him in the Lloyd, just to play it safe.

And, yes, you might want to be discreet if you take a picture, as Patrick has promised physical violence against anyone he thinks is invading his privacy, so ... let's be careful out there.

Chronicles of Twatrick: Um ... wut?

Busy day ahead, but an anonymous tipster brings to my attention this truly weird publication by Patrick "Super Nexus Bikini Combat etc etc ..." Ross, where Patrick apparently does not appreciate the possible legal consequences of what he tweets and, given that I am not a lawyer, I will simply speculate:

First, I think we can all agree that, given that Patrick has already publicly stated that he thought a recent visitor to the ol' Ross homestead was for nothing more than to ascertain his location, to suggest he is going to ground to escape imminent "physical harm" is more than a little drama queenish. But let's ignore Patrick's egregious misrepresentation of the situation and concentrate on something that might be more significant to his plight.

You see, Patrick keeps threatening to sue your humble scribe and, as he insists on doing that himself without legal representation, and given that he does not have substituted service for me, he is legally required to serve me properly and legally via a process server -- he knows full well where I am available for such service. But here's his problem (and I suspect some smart cookies can already see where this is going).

If Patrick insists on representing himself without the aid of a lawyer who (unlike Patrick) actually understands law, then he must, by law, make himself available for return service; that is, he is required to provide a proper and legal address for service such that I can respond in kind if and when I am properly served. And now you see Patrick's dilemma.

Even if he hires a process server, it seems to me that Patrick cannot serve me without providing a correct and current address so that I can serve him back; in short, if Patrick chooses to remain in hiding, there is no way he can serve me in a legal way that does not allow me the ability to reply. (If Patrick had a lawyer, that would not be a problem, but given Patrick's insistence on doing things himself, I don't see how Patrick thinks this is going to work.)

As I admitted, I am not a lawyer, but it seems that, having blown this one incident wildly out of proportion and insisting he needs to go into hiding for his personal safety, Patrick has sort of fucked himself out of the ability to do, well, anything. I will, of course, be passing this on to my lawyer, who can decide what consequences this is going to have.

Now, if you will excuse me, unlike Patrick, I have an actual job.

P.S. I predict that Patrick, given an impending deadline of tomorrow, Friday, April 28, to fill out and return the Saskatchewan sheriffs' mandatory financial questionnaire pursuant to my collection proceedings against him, will suddenly argue that he has no obligation to do so given that he is in fear for his life, or something equally ludicrous.

He's done this sort of thing before, and I predict he will do it again.

Let's watch.

P.P.S. As I do not have a Facebook account, I can't check in on whether Patrick has published any more disingenuous nonsense to the Facebook group "Your Lloydminster", so if anyone who has access can poke their nose in there and take a few screenshots for me, that'd be great, thanks.

Perhaps my favourite pic of what someone has already sent me is one "Zevin Kindrachuk" patiently (and quite correctly) explaining that there is nothing even remotely illegal about taking pictures of whatever you want as long as you're not trespassing, with Patrick refusing to have anything to do with logic or reality or, you know, facts:

So appreciate that, even in Lloydminster, people are telling Patrick he's full of shit. I will have more to say about this exchange in a subsequent post.

Chronicles of Twatrick: Let's talk about license plates, shall we?

Apparently, fugitive from bankruptcy Patrick Ross is still whinging on about the nefarious masked man that had the effrontery to (*checks notes*) stand in a public roadway and take a picture of the family property. Amusingly, Patrick's most ballyhooed bit of evidence of the maliciousness of this individual is that the associated vehicle did not have a license plate, indicating clearly the evil intentions of the driver. Patrick goes on and on and tediously on about the significance of this fact.

I have subsequently come into possession of photographic evidence that said vehicle did, in fact, have a license plate, just not where you would normally expect it, but it was indeed present, so that entire line of argument has just collapsed like a flan in a cupboard.

Thanks for stopping by.

P.S. No, I don't owe anyone any evidence; I've seen it for myself and I am satisfied.

LE *SIGH* ... Apparently, for the benefit of the hard of thinking, I need to explain this yet again. At the moment, Patrick "Mom, he's looking at me!!!!" Ross is currently whinging on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about the obviously nefarious intent on the part of someone who shows up in a vehicle that he claims had no license plate.

Now, unlike Patrick, I am actually interested in facts, so I dug into the matter and was subsequently assured that said vehicle was indeed licensed, the proof simply not being in the normal place on a vehicle that one expects to see it, but it was there. Patrick is invited to continue screeching dishonestly about this; I, on the other hand, took the time to check this out and am satisfied that Patrick and all of his ignorant, hillbilly neighbours are simply idiots.

P.S. We are not done with Patrick yet, as it appears he might have filed a false police report with the Lloydminster RCMP. I currently have a call in to the officer handling this alleged report, and am waiting for a callback.

Here is an abridged screenshot from a post Patrick made to a Lloydminster-wide Facebook group:

I think you see Patrick's problem here ... if he was convinced that this person was simply someone acting on my behest trying to track him down for purposes of collection enforcement (as he is in fact claiming), then the above (very public) accusation that the person was "suspected of planning burglaries, thefts or other crimes in the area" is wildly defamatory.

When I chat with the Lloyd RCMP, I will specifically ask to see the police report Patrick claims to have filed, and if Patrick did indeed insist that he had evidence that this person was a suspect in criminal activity, well, I don't think that will end well for Patrick. The cops take a very dim view of police reports filed for the purpose of childish retaliation.

Chronicles of Twatrick: A simple resolution.

In case you missed it, over the last couple of days, undischarged bankrupt Patrick "Quintuple Mullet Greaseburger Boy" Ross has gone pretty much batshit crazy on social media, reacting to someone driving by his father's residence in Lloydminster and taking a picture. Based on what appears to be a single incident of someone trying to verify Patrick's presence, Patrick claims to have made an official report to the Lloydminster RCMP, insisting that the entire neighbourhood is now living in fear, and that there is evidence that said individual is suspected of having already committed crimes including theft and burglary. He also accuses me of being the driving force behind this, and having paid someone to do this (I have not). But here's the thing, and I'm going to try to stay focused.

I am perfectly willing to admit that I have asked all and sundry to help me track down Patrick Ross, and there is a reason for that.

As most know, Patrick currently owes me over $100,000 for defaming me maliciously back in 2010 and, in the intervening years, Patrick has been remarkably successful at evading service and hiding assets. Over those years, Patrick has been served with numerous legal filings, which he has for the most part ignored or pretended he never received, and this is why this fact is important.

Given Patrick's years of non-compliance, a while back, I filed for -- and was granted -- substituted service for Patrick, which means that, rather than having to serve him personally via a process server, I am entitled to serve him by using both of the following approaches:

1. emailing him, and
2. sending registered mail to his alleged primary residence, where he is expected to sign for it.

As long as those two things happen, Patrick is considered by the Court to have been properly served. But here's the problem.

Over the last while, Patrick has both refused to reply to properly-sent emails, and has refused to sign for registered mail that is sent to the Lloydminster address that he insists is his primary residence for the purpose of proper and legal service. Because of this, I -- as someone who very much wants to be able to serve him -- have every right to question whether that Lloydminster address is Patrick's actual residence, and that is why I have resorted to the perfectly legal strategy of asking others to poke around and see if they can educate me on Patrick's current location. But Patrick is not taking this well, and it seems he might be crossing the line into defamation.

You see, based on what seems like a single incident of someone checking out the driveway of where Patrick claims to live, Patrick is publicly accusing the person involved as "suspected of planning burglaries, thefts or other crimes in the area." 

This is a serious and potentially defamatory accusation, and if Patrick has nothing to back it up, he could be in a truckload of trouble. But I have a truly simple resolution for all of this.

The only reason I am asking others to help me locate Lord Baron Twatrick von Loadenhosen is that, despite being legally obligated to honour the substituted service I have for him, he is hiding and refusing to reply to email or to sign for the registered mail that shows up for him. As long as Patrick insists on being hard to find, I plan on continuing to look for him, and to ask others for assistance. And if Patrick wants all this to stop?

Easy.

All it would take for all this to cease is for Patrick to inform my Saskatchewan lawyer of his actual primary residence where he is prepared to sign for registered mail, and to have the courtesy to reply to emails. That's it ... it's really that simple. If Patrick simply acted professionally and honoured his legal obligations under the substituted service I have for him, none of this would be necessary. None of it.

I will say that again so that even truly stupid people can understand it: If Patrick continues to dodge and weave and evade his legal obligations, I will continue asking others to help me find him. On the other hand, if he decides to act like a grown-up and accept the properly-served legal documents sent to him, all of this stops since it becomes entirely unnecessary.

As I know Patrick reads this blog, the ball is now in his court. He can either decide to deal with this like an adult, or I will keep looking for him with every conceivable and legal means at my disposal.

It's his choice.

BONUS TRACK: In the midst of all this craziness, Patrick is once again promising to sue me for ... I have no idea, but given the current situation, he's going to have a bit of a problem.

See, Patrick does not have substituted service for me, which means that if he wants to serve me, he has to do it properly via an actual process server. Fair enough, but here's his problem.

Since Patrick insists on always representing himself, he is required to provide a proper address for legal service; that is, an address at which he is available to accept legal service. And I suspect you see what's coming.

If Patrick insists that his address is the Lloydminster one, I will dispute that, pointing out that registered mail sent there is never accepted by him. Quite simply, by concealing his actual address, Patrick has effectively disqualified himself from being able to represent himself. And if he provides a legitimate address where he really lives, I will promptly hand that over to the Saskatchewan sheriffs to do with what they will.

I guess we wait.

Chronicles of Twatrick: Back in the low life again?

One of my crack, elite, secret, elite and crack confidential informants sends me this pic of some definite activity at Casa Ross in Lloydminster. (I have cropped the pic to remove license plate numbers but, rest assured, I have them.) As Patrick's father Ken ostensibly lives alone, the most likely explanation for two vehicles in the driveway is, well, Patrick has moved back into the basement.

Note that neither of the vehicles is a Ford Escape (Patrick's last known set of wheels), but the juvenile Autobots decal on the blue Chevy strongly suggests an owner with the emotional maturity of a 12-year-old, so ... draw your own conclusions.

My CIs will be making occasional passes by Casa Ross and checking on the regularity of that vehicle's presence. And there are other developments in the works but I'll keep them to myself for now.

Stay tuned ...

P.S. It is entirely possible that I was wrong about Patrick once driving a Ford Escape ... perhaps it's been the above vehicle all along. In any event, I will have my spies checking out that address now and again and taking notes.

Chronicles of Twatrick: (Real) happy interestversary, and tracking Patrick's sorry ass.

So it being the 19th of the month, today is the actual monthly interestversary (20 months now) since a judge told Patrick Ross how much he owes me and simultaneously cranked up the interest rate on that whopping amount from 2% to 5%,

making undischarged bankrupt and collection enforcement fugitive Patrick "Kid Cash Nexus Mullet Boy" Ross my personal, high-interest savings account for the next several years. But rather than just being amused spectators, you are all invited to play along.

As I mentioned yesterday, it appears that Patrick is back in Lloydminster (having seemingly bailed on his northern Alberta job as a manual labourer), and it's this apparent new development that you're welcome to participate in. And here's why.

As I've mentioned on a number of occasions, except for one application, Patrick has (very unwisely) chosen to represent himself all these years, with inevitably disastrous consequences. But there's more to Patrick being a self-represented litigant (SRL) other than his hilariously doomed filings. You see, while everyone in Canada has the right to represent themselves in legal proceedings, that freedom comes with certain responsibilities and obligations, one of the most fundamental being (and I quote) [emphasis added]:

You are responsible for learning about the court process, the rules and the law that relates to your case. The fact that you do not have a lawyer will not excuse you from having to follow court rules and processes.

Note well how the above makes it clear that even if you choose not to have a lawyer, you are still expected to respect the general rules of legal engagement, and a fundamental part of that is to communicate properly and professionally with the other side. Quite simply, the fact that you are an SRL does not give you the right to act like a petulant, evasive, dishonest weasel ... which is exactly how Patrick is behaving at the moment. Put another way, that Patrick is treating this entire legal process with utter disdain is going to bite him in his pasty ass when he gets dragged in front of a judge. Which brings us to your role in all of this.

As I have substituted service for Patrick (part of which involves sending him registered mail, which he refuses to pick up), it would be immensely helpful to have photographic proof of him (or his vehicle) comfortably nestled in his father's driveway in Lloydminster, the point being that, when I file subsequent motions addressing his lack of response to proper sub service, I will be able to prove Patrick was in fact at that residence and chose not to acknowledge said service, something that will not go over well with a judge.

So there's your opportunity to get involved ... even as Patrick refuses to acknowledge legally proper substituted service, I want indisputable proof that he is in town and, more to the point, hanging out at the very address where registered mail is being sent -- proof I will use to slap him around soundly when this gets to a courtroom.

And there you have it -- your chance to play along. Send any evidence to canadiancynic@yahoo.ca, with a detailed description of its back story. Operators are standing by.

Chronicles of Twatrick: Happy (early) interestversary, and shit about to go down.

While it's a day early, there is some tail-wagging news I suspect some of you would like to know so we'll kick things off with, as of tomorrow, it will be a full 20 months since a Saskatchewan judge ruled against undischarged bankrupt and Lloydminster's village idiot Patrick "Super Kid Cash Dragon Fire" Ross, finding that he owed me over $104,000, and cranking up the accruing interest rate on that outstanding amount from 2% to 5%,

in effect, turning Patrick into an abnormally lucrative savings account for me. Now, over that time, I have managed to claw back a few thousand dollars due to the SK sheriffs' occasional seizure of Patrick's credit union account so, for now, we can call it $100,000 plus all of that 5% accruing over 20 months -- eh, let's just say that Patrick owes me around $110,000, an amount that is now increasing inexorably with each passing day. But wait ... there's more.

As regular spectators here at CC HQ will know, a while back and pursuant to my collection enforcement proceedings against Lord Baron Twatrick von Loadenhosen, the Saskatchewan sheriffs sent Patrick a voluntary financial questionnaire. To no one's surprise, Patrick ignored it entirely.

What followed was the identical but mandatory questionnaire; again, ignored totally by Patrick Ross. Which brings us to the latest development.

Following my instructions, my Saskatchewan lawyer just yesterday sent a letter to Patrick, reminding him of the above and (on my direction) giving Patrick another two weeks to do the right thing and fill out and return that questionnaire; that is, Patrick now has until Friday, April 28, to do that. And assuming that he will, as always, refuse to co-operate, here's what is going to happen.

Once that deadline passes, I will be instructing my lawyer to file a motion with the Court, compelling Patrick to complete and return that form. And how does that differ from what has happened thus far? I'm glad you asked.

The difference is that this will be an order from the Court, which means that when Patrick contemptuously refuses to fill out and return that questionnaire, he will be openly defying an order of the Court, at which time I will file to have him found in contempt, with the only way for Patrick to purge such contempt being (you guessed it) returning the questionnaire. And given the quite reasonable assumption that Patrick will not take that seriously either, I have been advised that the step after that would be having a warrant issued for Patrick's arrest. (Oh, and it is worth noting that I will be asking for costs for all of the above, which will only pile significantly more debt on top of what Patrick already owes me.)

To sum all this up, Patrick Ross now has until Friday after next to decide how he wants the rest of his life to play out. If history is any guide, he will choose unbelievably stupidly, with the consequences as I have described above, which include owing me more money, a charge and associated fine for contempt and, quite possibly, being arrested for contempt of court.

Oh, and I almost forgot -- I will be passing on all this information to the federal Office of the Superintendent of Bankruptcy, who I have been assured have been trying to connect with Patrick about being years in arrears regarding his reporting obligations. What the OSB chooses to do with Patrick is up to them, I will ask only that they leave enough of his desiccated corpse for me to collect what Patrick owes me.

So ... any questions?

BONUS TRACK: I am still offering a $500 bounty to anyone who can provide verifiable information as to where Patrick is both living and working these days. Given Patrick's recent confirmed whereabouts in Lloydminster, it does seem that he is no longer employed by Avenge Energy in the vicinity of Grande Prairie, AB, and one source claims to have seen his Ford Escape in the driveway of his father's residence in Lloyd. In any event, if it comes to it and an arrest warrant becomes a reality, I want to be able to point the authorities in Patrick's general direction, and if that means showing up at his place of work, so be it.

Chronicles of Twatrick: The irony.

And over at Patrick Ross' Twitter account, "@FugitiveBankrupt", Patrick is expounding on how defamation law works in Canada. No, really ... the man who is now a trustee-less, undischarged bankrupt who owes me over $100,000 because he refused to even file a defence when I sued him for malicious defamation back in 2010 is now holding court and explaining to one and all that, when sued for defamation, the absolutely most important thing to do is ... defend yourself.

You cannot make this shit up.

P.S. Happy interestversary in two days. Perhaps there will be cake.

Chronicles of Twatrick: Back in the Lloyd?

As always, my network of crack, secret, elite, secret and crack confidential informants keeps me up to date and informs me that Lloydminster's favourite village imbecile Patrick "Nexus Bikini Designer Porn Writer Dragon Fire Creepy Stalker MMA Cosplay Quintuple Threat Bad Faith Massively-in-Debt Mullet Boy" Ross appears to be back in the Lloyd and pounding down yet more 14,000-calorie greaseburgers at local bars (most likely paid for with Daddy Ken's credit card, but that's a story for another time and another collection enforcement).

In any event, the bounty of $500 is still available for anyone who can hand me verifiable information as to where Patrick both lives and works these days. Where he lives would appear to be back in his parents' basement, snarfing down Cheetos and Dr. Pepper while binge-watching "The Bachelorette" but, since it seems he high-tailed it out of Grande Prairie with little notice, it is a current mystery as to where (or even if) he is employed.

Lines are open, and operators are standing by to insult you.

P.S. This postscript is specifically for any Lloydminster bar staff who have the misfortune to serve Patrick Ross, and have to watch him Jabba the Hutt his way through the dinner special of a triple patty stacked between two grilled cheese sandwiches, accompanied by a can of room temperature Crisco.

I would be immensely interested in how Patrick is paying for his meals; in particular, if he uses a credit card, I very much want to know whose name is on that card since, as an undischarged bankrupt, Patrick is wholly ineligible to have a credit card in his own name.

More specifically, I would like to know if he is currently using a credit card in the name of his father, Ken Ross. That is the only thing I would like to know -- I have no interest in what Patrick purchased, or how much it cost, or anything else, just whether he is currently paying for his gluttony with someone else's credit card. If you have this info (and can in some way verify it), drop me a note at canadiancynic@yahoo.ca. For *that* information, I will pay $100.

P.P.S. Thus far, my sources tell me that the most likely hangouts for Kid Cash Thunderbolt Ross are The Canadian Brewhouse, 4th Meridian and Boston Pizza. If any other names come up, I'll add them here.

AND MORE: In support of another legal action I will be filing against Patrick, I really do want to know if he's moved back to Casa Ross in Lloydminster, so here's what I'm asking people to do. If you reside in the area of Lloydminster, it would be ever so useful if you were to drive by the residence of Patrick's father, Ken Ross, and report on whether you see Patrick's vehicle in the driveway. These days, he reportedly drives a Ford Escape so it should be easy to spot.

As to the address, well, if you're serious enough to want to help out, then tracking down the address should be easy; I'm not going to supply it here as I don't want to give Patrick even the slightest excuse to accuse me of doxxing him. And if you've been following this sordid saga for a while, you'll already know the address of which I speak.

That's it ... if you're tooling around Lloydminster and have a few spare minutes, swing by Patrick's place and see if his Ford Escape is in the driveway. I'd like to confirm that before arranging for personal service on him.

Thank you kindly.

Chronicles of Twatrick: Arguing in bad faith.

If any poor bastard has the misfortune to engage with serial bad faith-debater Patrick "Bad Faith Debater" Ross on social media, here is what you can expect (a snippet extracted from a much earlier blog post of mine):

As anyone who’s ever dealt with Patrick Ross knows full well, he is the most dishonest debater imaginable. Patrick’s shtick is to argue in bad faith. By that, I mean that Patrick is never, ever, ever interested in an actual, honest exchange of ideas. Rather, Patrick’s M.O. is to hideously distort whatever you say or write, then attack the distortion. Patrick Ross has never been interested in discussion. Patrick Ross has only ever been interested in winning, and a couple examples will demonstrate that quite nicely.

Consider, if you will, the case of Andrew Meyer. As you can read, Meyer was the dumbass who was Tasered at the U of Florida for being an obnoxious, belligerent troublemaker who physically scuffled with security [at a John Kerry seminar] until they’d had enough and Tased his sorry ass. Given his behaviour, I and many others opined that, frankly, anyone that much of an idiot deserved to get a good Tasering, and I for one had no sympathy.

Patrick Ross’ rebuttal was as rapid as it was idiotic — “CC thinks people who disagree with John Kerry should be Tasered!!!"

See what Patrick Ross did there? Totally stripped the context, and dumped on me for something not even remotely close to reality or what I’d written. And lest you think that was an isolated incident, let us continue.

There was also the case of anti-choice crusader Ed Snell. But Ed Snell was no ordinary shrieky fetus fetishist, oh no. Snell was a delightfully ambitious dingbat, who went to the trouble of building a car-top platform, from where he could continue to howl Scripturally [over a security fence] at women even after they’d entered the grounds of an abortion clinic. Once again, a number of people (including myself) really couldn’t muster up any pity for Snell once someone lost it and booted Snell’s ass off the top of his car.

You know what’s coming, don’t you? Yes, you do: “CC encourages violent physical assault of senior citizens!!!!!”

See how Patrick works? To a miniscule grain of reality, Patrick Ross wraps multiple layers of exaggeration, distortion, misrepresentation and utter bullshit. This is what he does. This is how he argues. Invariably. Anyone who has dealt with him for any amount of time knows precisely of what I speak.

What you just read sums up, in every possible way, what you can expect if you get into a conversation with Patrick. He is simply a rancidly dishonest human being, and that dishonesty extends to how he engages intellectually with everyone he meets online.

You've been warned.

P.S. Patrick still owes me a ton of money, an amount that is going up 5 per cent annually. Just so you know.

Chronicles of Twatrick: Back to school?

(NOTE: Much of this is sheer speculation so take it for what it's worth.)

The evidence is increasingly compelling that Lloydminster's favourite undischarged bankrupt and village buffoon Patrick "Assholery Super Hyper Kid Cash Thunderbolt Mullet Boy Quintuple Threat MMA Beatdown Dragon Fire Bikini Designer" Ross is no longer employed in the wilds of northern Alberta, as my team of secret, crack, elite, crack and secret confidential informants assure me that, as of some time around March 17, Patrick bailed on his job of menial labour at Avenge Energy and high-tailed it back to Saskatchewan.

More interestingly, for someone who spends his life on the run from various law enforcement departments and collection agencies, Patrick leaves a pretty substantial trail of bread crumbs, and it appears that he is now hanging out somewhere in the vicinity of the U of Saskatchewan in Saskatoon, leading one to do some surmisin' and speculatin'.

Given that (as I have heard) Patrick was originally given the boot by his father to get his pasty, 300-pound, greaseburger-infused ass off of the basement couch and go make something of himself, and that that experiment lasted for a while in the vicinity of Grande Prairie until Patrick finally tired of it, there is speculation that Patrick -- having spent seven long years at the U of Alberta failing to get a degree -- might be willing to take another crack at it by transferring whatever meaningless credits he has from the U of A and seeing if he can get this across the finish line back in Saskatchewan.

This is an entertaining image -- a 42-YO morbidly obese Lord Baron Twatrick von Loadenhosen, quite taken with his own dizzying intellect and convinced that he is still capable of hitting on 19-year-old undergrads with some chance of success. But what is more interesting to your humble scribe is the thought that, if this is actually what is happening, how exactly is Patrick going to pay for all of the associated tuition, rent, food and so on? Because if he's being subsidized under the table by Big Daddy Ross, there is at least a plausible argument that all of that dosh belongs to me.

My spies are still on the case, and if it appears that Twatrick is still hanging out in Saskatoon in another week or two, I will be giving instructions to various parties to check into whether Patrick is indeed registered at the U of S, and we will be checking into my options for collecting whatever legal tender made that possible.

Again, all of this is the wildest of speculation, but if Patrick thinks he can dig himself out from under owing me over $100,000 by simply quitting his job and going back to school, well, I'm guessing that's not going to work the way he hopes.

Stay tuned.

P.S. I am still offering a $500 reward to the first person who can hand me verifiable evidence as to where Patrick is these days and, in particular, where he is employed.

P.P.S. Patrick's adventures in Saskatoon appear to be confined to posting pictures of the obscenely unhealthy meals he is gorging on.

BONUS TRACK: I stress again that all of the above is the sheerest of speculation, but it is passing strange that Patrick would apparently bail on his work gig in northern Alberta at Avenge Energy, only to show up chowing down on 13,000-calorie plates of deep-fried grease at various slop joints adjacent to the University of Saskatchewan in Saskatoon.

Having been told by his father some time back to get his pasty ass off the couch and get out there and get a fucking job and make something of himself, Patrick apparently stuck it out as long as he could doing menial work as an oil patch swamper, only to finally bail and perhaps convince Daddy that he could do way better if he could finish his aborted U of A degree in (wait for it ... wait for it ...) sociology.

However, it is entirely unclear -- given Patrick's current (and possibly lifetime) status as an undischarged bankrupt, and with how much he owes me -- whether Patrick even has the right to register, as whatever money being turned over for that registration would properly belong to me. In any event, I will absolutely be contacting the U of S some time this week to inquire if one Patrick Ross has recently registered, just to cover my bases.

It's not clear how Patrick thinks this is going to end, given his undischarged bankruptcy status, his massive debt to me, and the fact that he is currently on the run from the Office of the Superintendent of Bankruptcy, the Saskatchewan Sheriffs, Alberta civil enforcement bailiffs and, soon, the registrar's office at the U of S.

I would recommend that Patrick get a good lawyer, but I've made that recommendation to him several times, and it never sticks.

Chronicles of Twatrick: On the lam again.

I have now heard from multiple reasonably-reliable sources that undischarged bankrupt Patrick "Super Duper Nexus Dragon Fire Quintuple Threat MMA Cosplay Street Fighting Man" Ross is no longer employed in Alberta where he was apparently working up until the middle of March, and his social media makes it clear he has been skulking around Saskatoon for the last several days.

It is unclear whether Patrick has relocated for employment, but that would be an interesting development given that I have a garnishment order registered in Saskatchewan, and if I became aware that Patrick is indeed now working back in SK, and where, the Saskatchewan sheriffs are ready to go on a moment's notice to serve his employer with garnishment papers.

Over at my Twitter account, I posted a reward of $500 for any confirmable information as to where Patrick is these days and where he is working, so if anyone wants to make a few dollars, you are invited to track down Lloydminster's favourite village idiot and get that information to me.

Until then ...

Chronicles of Twatrick: JUXTAPOSE!

Undischarged bankrupt Patrick Ross, who declared bankruptcy and therefore dumped the problem of his financial self-destruction on the Canadian taxpayer, will now take a steaming dump on the idea of "socialism."

You can't make this stuff up. You just can't.

Chronicles of Twatrick: He's on the move again!

According to my extensive network of spies, informants and people who simply dislike Lloydminster's Lord Baron Mullet von Cheeseburger, undischarged bankrupt and man who owes me a truckload of money Patrick Ross has been inundating social media with photos that appear to have been taken in the vicinity of the University of Saskatchewan. It is possible that Patrick is simply pining for the old days when he spent seven years at the U of Alberta without ever getting a degree, but it's also possible that the Twatster has quietly relocated back to Saskatchewan (where my garnishment order would be immediately enforceable).

In any event, if anyone has moderately reliable information as to where Patrick is these days, or where he might be employed, drop me a note at canadiancynic@yahoo.ca. Last I heard, he was swamping for a firm called "Avenge Energy" out of Grande Prairie, but who knows if that's up to date? Anyway, if you run into Patrick, you are invited to let me know when and where, and I will in return keep you up to date on ongoing developments.