Tuesday, January 03, 2012

The Saga of Patrick Ross -- Part the First

CC here. Since I’ve tweeted mysteriously about this a number of times, I thought it was finally time to write the awesome — nay, definitive — history of my relationship with one Patrick (@OutlawTory) Ross. And I use the word “relationship” in its most unpleasant and pejorative sense. And since this is going to take a while, you might as well make yourself comfortable; we’re going to be here for a bit.

First, let’s get rid of the suspense — pop over here to set the stage. That part of this sordid epic has been public for a while; the fact that mullet-headed frat boi Patrick Ross maliciously defamed me over the course of many months to the point where the legal system finally gave him the spanking he had coming to him, and gave me an $85,000 judgment I had coming to me. None of that is any surprise anymore. But there’s so much more and I think it’s time everyone else knew the whole story, and I’m doing this for a couple reasons.

First, as hard as it might be to believe, we’re still looking for Patrick Ross. That’s right — even after he was properly and personally served with the aforementioned judgment in April of last year, he’s weirdly considered himself somehow above the law, so the hunt is still on. And I figured that, if I want to ask the general public for help, I really have to give it something in return. Hence, the story you’re about to read. But that’s not all.

Having put up with years of abuse from Patrick Ross, I figure it’s only fair that I take this opportunity to spank him savagely and thoroughly (metaphorically speaking, of course), and to reveal him for the cement-headed, self-absorbed dingbat he is. And this is going to take so long that I’ll be doing this in two (possibly three, maybe four, who knows?) parts. So settle in, cuz it’s going to be quite the ride. And when we’re done, you’re more than welcome to do me an $85,000 favour. And now, to business.

(Aside: Every so often, I’ll toss in one of these “asides”, for obvious reasons. The first aside is that I’m going to try to be as accurate as possible about timelines, but dates don’t need to be perfect — all that matters is the general order of events.)

It was after a couple years of blogging here at CC HQ that I first came to the attention of yappy, shrieking, spittle-flecked, overage frat boi and U of Alberta undergrad Patrick Ross, sometime around June of 2007. For an undergrad with an undeniably high opinion of himself, Patrick’s sniping was remarkably childish, and I satisfied myself with smacking him on the nose every so often, and moving on. And it wouldn’t have got any more exciting than that except for the day that "NAMBLA Dick" sauntered into town.

As near as I can tell, NAMBLA Dick (real name unimportant, nickname self-evident shortly) started in on me around August of 2007, and took great exception to me and everyone else at CC HQ. NAMBLA Dick was no wittier or well-read than any of Canada’s other useless, stenographic wankers at the time, but he distinguished himself by having a mean streak that inspired him to some astonishingly classless attacks.

After warming up with your typically sophomoric right-wing insults, NAMBLA Dick decided that it would be knee-slappingly hysterical to register a web site with a look-alike name to that of CC HQ, with the obvious design of hoping to trick the unsuspecting into visiting his site instead of the legitimate CC HQ. That’s tacky enough, of course, but NAMBLA Dick was just getting started.

What he did then was to redirect that URL to the home page of “NAMBLA” — the North American Man-Boy Love Association. Um, that would be a group that promotes men having sex with adolescent boys. Ha ha, that Dick, what a card! That is some funny shit, you bet. But Dick wasn’t done, oh no.

To truly finish things off, Dick arranged for the site to pop up a 15-second dialogue, claiming quite unambiguously that what the reader was about to see was what the proprietors of CC HQ wanted for Canada. In short, Dick was openly accusing all four of the bloggers at CC HQ of directly promoting pedophilia. To this day, no one knows from where in his fevered imagination Dick got this idea, but he clearly thought it was the height of entertainment, and he refused every entreaty to take it down, even from people who were typically supporters of his. Yes, Dick was that classless.

The cross-country pissing match (NAMBLA Dick lived with his wife and two children in Calgary, I was in Ontario) went on for months, with Dick making it crystal clear that that site was not coming down, and me slowly but inexorably running out of patience. No one understood what Dick’s point was, but it seemed like a bizarre thing to do for a rather obvious reason — Dick was running for Calgary City Council at the time, and it struck everyone that this really isn’t the kind of public exposure you want to hang around your neck when you’re trying to sweet-talk the electorate. But Dick cared not one whit — election or no election, he seemed determined to roll around in the mud of a website featuring men who wanted to get it on with adolescent boys, sodomistically speaking.

Now, as I said, I was slowly but surely running out of patience and, in a fit of pique, I did something I’ll admit didn’t represent my finest hour, but it happened. I decided that, if Dick was so keen on promoting NAMBLA’s web site, I could make him wear that sleaze in a very public way, and I suggested to my readership that, given that Dick had posted his family’s personal information on his political web site, it would be a trivial job to figure out, from simple geography, where his two children went to school, at which point one could simply drop a note to the entire staff there, pointing out Dick’s unseemly obsession with men and boys having sex.

Let me say that again to make sure we all understand my proposal. NAMBLA Dick had already posted his family information online, including his address in Calgary. Based on nothing more than that, I suggested it would not be difficult, based on only the layout of the school system, to deduce where Dick’s kids went to school, then embarrassing him massively to the teachers there. My logic was fairly obvious — if Dick thought promoting NAMBLA was such a nifty idea, he couldn’t possibly complain if I helped it along by giving him even more publicity. Simple, no?

Well, the shitstorm was entirely predictable. Despite the fact that I made it clear that my plan was based entirely on public information (most of which NAMBLA Dick had published himself, something he reluctantly admitted to much later), the shrieking was instantaneous — OMFG, CC’s endangering Dick’s kids, he’s telling people to stalk them, yap yap yap yap! The same wingnuts who thought sending unsuspecting readers to a site featuring man-on-boy butt sex was just fine were suddenly mortified by my proposal involving nothing more than public information and looking at a city map. If the hypocrisy was any thicker, you could have cut it with Ezra Levant's chainsaw. Yes, the hypocritical hysteria was something to behold. But wait, you ask, what does this have to do with Patrick Ross? A good question. But before I answer that, I must set the stage.

As anyone who’s ever dealt with Patrick Ross knows full well, he is the most dishonest debater imaginable. Patrick’s shtick is to argue in bad faith. By that, I mean that Patrick is never, ever, ever interested in an actual, honest exchange of ideas. Rather, Patrick’s M.O. is to hideously distort whatever you say or write, then attack the distortion. Patrick Ross has never been interested in discussion. Patrick Ross has only ever been interested in winning, and a couple examples will demonstrate that quite nicely.

Consider, if you will, the case of Andrew Meyer. As you can read, Meyer was the dumbass who was Tasered at the U of Florida for being an obnoxious, belligerent troublemaker who physically scuffled with security until they’d had enough and Tased his sorry ass. Given his behaviour, I and many others opined that, frankly, anyone that much of an idiot deserved to get a good Tasering, and I for one had no sympathy.

Patrick Ross’ rebuttal was as rapid as it was idiotic — “CC thinks people who disagree with John Kerry should be Tasered!!”

See what Patrick Ross did there? Totally stripped the context, and dumped on me for something not even remotely close to reality or what I’d written. And lest you think that was an isolated incident, let us continue.

There was also the case of anti-choice crusader Ed Snell. But Ed Snell was no ordinary shrieky fetus fetishist, oh no. As you can read here, Snell was a delightfully ambitious dingbat, who went to the trouble of building a car-top platform, from where he could continue to howl Scripturally at women even after they’d entered the grounds of an abortion clinic. Once again, a number of people (including myself) really couldn’t muster up any pity for Snell once someone lost it and booted Snell’s ass off the top of his car.

You know what’s coming, don’t you? Yes, you do: “CC encourages violent physical assault of senior citizens!!!!!”

See how Patrick works? To a miniscule grain of reality, Patrick Ross wraps multiple layers of exaggeration, distortion, misrepresentation and utter bullshit. This is what he does. This is how he argues. Invariably. Anyone who has dealt with him for any amount of time knows precisely of what I speak. And the brighter among you probably already know where this is going.

Patrick Ross decided that he wanted in on the NAMBLA Dick pissing match and, entirely predictably, my simple request for some geographical information was transmogrified by Patrick Ross into:

  • Accusations that I was harassing Dick’s kids.

  • Accusations that I was stalking Dick’s kids.

  • Accusations that I was encouraging my readers to stalk Dick’s kids.

  • Accusations that I was engaged in a criminal conspiracy to stalk Dick’s kids.

  • Accusations that I was engaged in a scheme of criminal harassment against Dick and his family.

In one hilarious incident, Patrick literally accused me of stalking Dick’s children “to their school” (his exact words), despite the fact that a) to this day, I have no idea what school they attended, and b) I haven’t been to Calgary in over a decade. But you should now appreciate how Patrick operates, and this is important as it plays a critical role in what happens from this point on.

We can now fast-forward to that fateful day of June 15, 2009, when my bloggy anonymity was blown and I was outed, with NAMBLA Dick being one of the prime movers behind that effort. And there was much rejoicing and schadenfreuding in the Canadian Dumbass-o-sphere, and the totally predictable threats of personal assault and violence the Dumbass-o-sphere is famous for, and I gritted my teeth and sucked it up and continued blogging and everyone slowly but eventually drifted away and life returned to something resembling normal.

Except for Patrick Ross.

Because now that my name was out there, Patrick Ross decided this was what was going to make his rep and get him some dynamite, kick-ass street cred — to launch a full-out, 24/7 assault on me and my personal and professional reputation because, apparently, that’s what U of A frat bois think gets the chicks or something. And Patrick took on his new mission with great gusto.

For the next several months, Patrick Ross spared no pixels in blogging about me and using my full name on a daily basis. The smearing was relentless — I was a stalker, a child stalker, a criminal, involved in criminal harassment, I was a dangerous psychopath … well, you get the idea. No one’s quite sure what drove Patrick Ross, but on at least one occasion, he openly described himself as being on a “mission from God” to reveal to all of Canada the dangerous lunatic hiding in their midst.

On advice of co-bloggers, I tried to ignore him, but that simply drove him into an even greater frenzy. At times, he published three blog posts a day attacking me, leading more than one person to suggest that that boy just wasn’t right in the head. And I continued to ignore him … until that day.

That would be the day in early 2010 when, sensing weakness on my part, Patrick Ross flat out accused me of being a pedophile. Let me assure you I do not exaggerate — the phrase “balls deep in a two-year-old” featured prominently in his accusation. And it was at that point that I’d had enough, and hired me a lawyer.

To be continued ... Part Deux

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