(OK, this is just too priceless not to get online before I hit the road.)
Rush Limbaugh -- yes that Rush Limbaugh, the one who suggested that NFL quarterback Donovan McNabb was overrated and only got the accolades he did because he (McNabb) was black -- has offered to (and I shit you not) mediate in the contract dispute between McNabb and wide receiver Terrell Owens.
That's right -- Limbaugh wants to be the voice of reason in a tiff between two athletic black men. Oh, Jesus, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Some advice to Limbaugh: you might want to establish your street creds with the home boys and bruthas first. Maybe show them that you have a long history of race relations:
As a young broadcaster in the 1970s, Limbaugh once told a black caller: "Take that bone out of your nose and call me back." A decade ago, after becoming nationally syndicated, he mused on the air: "Have you ever noticed how all composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson?"
In 1992, on his now-defunct TV show, Limbaugh expressed his ire when Spike Lee urged that black schoolchildren get off from school to see his film Malcolm X: "Spike, if you're going to do that, let's complete the education experience. You should tell them that they should loot the theater, and then blow it up on their way out."
In a similar vein, here is Limbaugh's mocking take on the NAACP, a group with a ninety-year commitment to nonviolence: "The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies."
When Carol Moseley-Braun (D-IL) was in the U.S. Senate, the first black woman ever elected to that body, Limbaugh would play the "Movin' On Up" theme song from TV's "Jeffersons" when he mentioned her. Limbaugh sometimes still uses mock dialect -- substituting "ax" for "ask"-- when discussing black leaders.
Oh, yeah, I'd pay to see McNabb and Owens taking advice from Limbaugh. How could that not be a sign of the apocalypse?