Really, really, really stupid in the Great White North.

And now, to fulfill our legal requirements for minimum Canadian content (Bryan Adams retrospective to follow shortly), we will set our sights ever so slightly eastward, where one "Angry in T.O." (can I call you "Angry"?), in a posting entitled "Death to the Twins", shows that Canadians will take a backseat to no one when it comes to breathtaking, eye-rolling moronicity.

Angry gives himself an atomic wedgie over the common left-wing refrain that, if Admiral Bunnypants is really that convinced of the nobility of war and the sacrifice involved therein, why aren't his military-age daughters (you know, Jenna and not-Jenna) there on the front lines? A good question, and one which Angry proceeds to mutilate badly in more ways than are healthy.

Angry starts off really, really badly by screwing the rhetorical pooch in two big ways in just the four words of the title: "DEATH TO THE TWINS." In the first place, no one that I'm aware of is advocating simply killing twins Jenna and Barbara (or, as they're known to local Pennsylvania Ave. liquor stores, J&B).

Rather, the suggestion is simply that both young ladies should, if conservatives want to be consistent, be prepared to enlist and simply put their alcohol-soaked bodies in harm's way like all other military personnel. This is a subtle (OK, not that subtle at all) distinction from saying they should simply be killed but, apparently, Angry doesn't do nuance very well. Sadly, it gets worse.

Angry seems to think this is all about "the twins." Well, no. Here in the stratified regions of intellectual discourse, we liberals would refer to the girls as "an example." Left wingers are not obsessed exclusively with getting the Bush daughters out of their halter tops and into some khakis. It's just that, what with Daddy Warhead being such a big fan of the nobility of military service, his daughters represent the most obvious example of right-wing hypocrisy. See how that works? Geez, how dense can one person be?

And as for the most amusing example of rhetorical stupidity, well, it would be a challenge to top this part:

... I'm feeling lazy, so I'm just going to quote Christopher Hitchens:

Further on in the same portentous article, we encounter one Andrew Bacevich, a "professor of international relations at Boston University and a retired Army officer." What could be more impressive? This expert delivers himself of the opinion that, "If this is such a great cause, let us see one of the Bush daughters in uniform." Let me do a brief thought experiment here. Do I know a single anti-war person who would be more persuaded if one of the Bush girls joined up? Do you? Can you imagine what would be said about such a cheap emotional stunt?

To which one, after deep consideration, can properly respond: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, Lord.

Angry seems to think that, when liberals suggest conservatives send their own loved ones into battle, they're looking for role models. Let me disabuse him of this idiocy.

If Angry were to ask me to jump off of a cliff, I'm sure I'd demur, what with there not being an overwhelming upside to that prospect. However, he seems to think that if he offered to jump first, then, hey, I'd be all over that idea. In a word, fuckno. In my mind, jumping off a cliff is, inherently, a bad idea and having Angry do it first doesn't change the situational dynamics a whole lot.

Similarly, when liberals are prodding conservatives to get their cowardly, doughy asses into uniform, they're not looking for freakin' role models. They're suggesting that, if right-wing wankers love war so much, they might want to avail themselves of the opportunity to see it up close and personal, if you know what I mean, and not have everyone else do the fighting and dying for them.

And, sadly, just when you think Angry has plumbed the depths of rhetorical stupidity, well, buckle up:

Maybe these people would be happier to have either of these guys as president, having suffered the loss of a child in war:

Stalin's son was taken prisoner by the Nazi invaders (and never exchanged), and Mao's son was killed in the war that established the present state of North Korea.

Ah. So if you've taken a principled stand against the illegal invasion of an impoverished, defenseless nation, well, then you're clearly a big fan of mass murderers Josef Stalin and Mao Tse Tung. I could swear I've seen this kind of argument before. But where ... where ... Oh, right.

Here.

Angry in the Great White North. His motto: "Making Kate McMillan look like an intellectual."

AFTERSNARK: And speaking of that worthless cocksucker Christopher Hitchens, well ...