... and I don't wanna swim. Apparently, God is really pissed with red states these days. I'm thinking that a lot of those folks are going to be needing lumber for rebuilding after all this is over. What a coincidence.
Maybe Pat Robertson could help out, if he's not too busy:
In his own inimitable style, Pat's first newsworthy statement to the New York Times indicated he had a divine endorsement. In June, Pat had led a prayer vigil urging God to spare Virginia Beach from the wrath of Hurricane Gloria. Perhaps God was listening, because Virginia Beach was spared. (But then again, Gloria landed on Long Island and Boston, inflicting $320 million in damage. Couldn't God have simply caused the storm to dissipate?) Anyway, Pat told the Times that the event was "extremely important because I felt, interestingly enough, that if I couldn't move a hurricane, I could hardly move a nation."
So, Pat, if all kinds of bad shit goes down here, we can assume it's all your fault, right?