This cannot get any funnier.

You have, of course, been following the recent misadventures of Patrick "Mullet Boy" Ross, including his savage intellectual beatdown at the hands of one David Climenhaga in the comments section there (in which he gets slapped around as "Patrick Ross," then reappears under a new identity of "Sparky" in order to give the impression that he has friends or something). But just when you thought he couldn't self-immolate any further, well, a little birdie sends me the following screencap of the links at the bottom of an article that Twatsy himself wrote about Janine Krieber over at the "Nexus of Dumbassitude":



Pause to truly drink in the hilarity of Twatsy writing a post about Krieber and (unintentionally, I'm sure) accompanying that post with a link to the very article at which he got wickedly spanked only two days ago.

You can't make this up. Seriously, you can't. As intellectually creative as I am, even I couldn't have dreamed up something that made Twatsy look like more of a drooling buffoon than that.

Can it get any funnier? We'll just have to see.

Happy day after your birthday, badass.

Yes, I suck for missing the actual day.

In my defence, I spent a total of 12 hours yesterday in proposal review and pricing meetings and was more than a little squirrelly by the time I got out. But I can totally make it up to my favourite ape cuz I’m in the process of getting the bestest present evah.

What is it you may ask? Why, just a little series called "Farscape" -- yes, that would be the entire box set.

Kisses,
LuLu

If the AP loosened up a little bit, ...

... they'd look like this.

Cool.

We're going to have to do this more often. I'll let you know when I need you.

HUH. We're weirdly popular these days. Go figure.

Nice career you got there.

Be a shame if someone put a bullet in it.

The night the aliens came to Delisle.

Close Encounters of the Redneck Kind from Marc Bullard on Vimeo.

(Wag of the tail to the delightful Miss Cellania.)

Fox News: News for stupid people.

It's like the Three Stooges meets The Lucy Show ... or some analogy equally demeaning:

Fox News Threatens Pink Slips For On-Screen Errors

After a rash of mistakes and apologies over the past weeks, Fox News has sent a memo to employees announcing a new "zero tolerance" policy for on-screen errors...

Fox has had three much-noticed errors in the past few weeks. First, Sean Hannity used misleading footage to beef up attendance numbers at a Capitol Hill tea party rally -- an incident that caught the attention of the Daily Show's Jon Stewart, forcing Hannity to apologize on air.

Then, last week, one of the midday news shows aired footage of an old Sarah Palin campaign rally to show the "crowds" at her current book tour. An anchor apologized a day later, and Fox blamed a "production error."

Finally, in another segment about Palin's book, the network showed the cover of a satire book called "Going Rouge" instead of her actual memoir, "Going Rogue."

Tune in next week when Fox once again dishonestly inflates the attendance at another wingnut gathering. That will be due to a "production error." You read it here first.

Snark, St. Albert-style.

I'm rather enjoying the irreverence here -- might have to make that a regular read. And, yes, Mr. Climenhaga has been suitably cautioned about the pathological dishonesty and lack of ethics that is Patrick "Twatsy" Ross, so he'll be on the lookout for any comments from "Sparky" or "mahmood" and deal with them accordingly.

Wait for it ... wait for it ... wait for it ...

On the one hand, there's the howling, screeching, panty-yanking, full-metal masturbatory baying-at-the-moon squealing in celebration of Canada's perpetually crazed, scientifically illiterate yokels, yahoos and dingbats.

And then there's reality.

Who could have guessed that all you had to do was sit patiently for a day or two for the truth to out? Who, indeed?

You know, it's tough for all of us here at CC HQ to be right about absolutely everything absolutely all of the time. But it's a burden we're willing to bear. Because we love you guys.

*Sniff*.

To arms, my pretties, to arms!

Normally, I'd just be amused by this, but what say we go all PZ on that voting and crank my article up to keep it at the top.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

OHMIGODOHMIGODOHMIGOD ... the terrorists!

Oh, wait ... he's white. That would explain the deafening silence from Canada's wingnuts.

Carry on, then.

The subterfuginess of the Twatsy.

You're going to love this. No, seriously. Over here, Audrey II points out how pathological liar and fan of violent assault Patrick Ross has taken to impersonating other commenters -- particularly long-time CC commenter "Sparky."

As Audrey explains, there are two "Sparky" commenters:

• the real one


• the sleazy fraud and Internet stalker that is Patrick Ross

And here's the payoff. That's right, kids ... that's Patrick, going after David Climenhaga, getting his panties yanked down in public and spanked soundly, then returning under his "Sparky" persona to resume the attack. This is apparently how honest, intellectual discourse works in Twatsy's world -- passing himself off as other people.

Stay classy, Twatsy. We wouldn't expect any less.

P.S. If Twatsy gets tired of passing himself off as Sparky, I suspect he will simply go back to being "mahmood."

OHMIGODOHMIGODOHMIGOD, this is priceless!!1!11!11! Now that he's been busted as the sleazy, dishonest twerp that he is, Ross has frantically edited the profile of that bogus account and changed the name on it from "Sparky" to "Patrick Ross," undoubtedly in the hope that he can now claim that it said "Patrick Ross" all along and that no one will notice.

Truly, the douchebaggery that keeps on giving. And giving. And giving ...

The unbearable lightness of groupies.

I actually stopped watching at 1:43. Someone else can tell me if I missed the really good stuff.

Support the troops? I don't think so.

For quite some time, numerous progressives have made the argument that, even if you don't support Canada's mission in Afghanistan, you can still support the troops themselves. There was -- quite correctly -- a careful distinction made between supporting Canada's military men and women, versus supporting the idiotic and ill-defined clusterfuck that is Afghanistan. And I was one of those people. I'm now here to tell you that I no longer support Canada's military. No, wait, hear me out.

At this point, it is beyond question that some members of Canada's military are guilty of war crimes. The testimony of one Richard Colvin, increasingly corroborated by many others, is simply irrefutable. Some members of the Canadian military -- in handing over Afghani detainees that they suspected full well were going to be tortured -- are undeniably guilty of war crimes. There's simply no question anymore, and it's pointless denying it.

But are all of Canada's military guilty of those same war crimes? Of course not, don't be silly, what a ridiculous thing to say. Unfortunately, here's the sticking point.

Canada's military has now had its reputation smeared in a particularly ugly way, and the only way to restore it is with a fair and thorough investigation, to ferret out the criminals who are responsible. That sounds simple enough -- find and punish the culprits and, in the process, clear everyone else who didn't have anything to do with it. Ah, but there's the rub.

Because the Stephen Harper Party of Canada has no interest in an investigation. Or a public inquiry. And in refusing to figure who is responsible, Canada's Conservatives have implicitly condemned everyone in uniform to being a war criminal.

Is that fair? Probably not. But there are lots of occasions where guilt has to be a collective thing. If you can't punish the actual lawbreaker, sadly, everyone's going to pay the price. And if the Harperistas insist on covering for the crooks and refusing to hold anyone accountable, then everyone is going down with that particular ship.

Again, is that fair? No, not really. But it's the only option left to us. Either we learn who's really responsible for obvious war crimes and punish them, or the entire military takes it on the chin. And it's painfully clear that Stephen Harper, rather than try to get to the bottom of this, is more than happy to hang Canada's entire military out to dry.

So, not to put to fine a point on it, but if no one's interested in identifying the specific people who broke the laws we're discussing here, then Canada's entire military can piss off. I have no illusions about what effect my public disapproval will have. Precisely none, of course. It's not as if anyone in a position of power gives a crap about what I think, and I'm fairly sure my loss of confidence will increase the danger to our soldiers overseas in no measurable way whatsoever. But unless someone is held accountable, I have no choice but to hold everyone accountable. Because that's the only choice Stephen Harper has left me with.

The right-wing, idiot outrage based on this post will, of course, be swift and savage, coming from precisely those people who have vowed to defend "free speech" to the death, but where does that CC get off saying stuff like that? ("free speech" being generally reserved for their opinions but no one else's). But I don't see any option here. Either the rot in Canada's military is located and removed, or it's all rot. There is no door number three.

And given how moderately pissed I am at the moment, we'll give A. Whitney Brown the last word. Just because.

National Post editorial board: She had it coming, dressed like that.

In an amusing display of illogic, the editors at the Canada's National Toilet Wipe eventually get around to excoriating the Stephen Harper Party of Canada in the matter of l'affaire Colvin, but not before taking a delightfully cheap and irrelevant shot at the Liberals and Michael Ignatieff:

Not least, the Conservatives also could draw attention to the fact that the Liberal assault on their position is being led by foreign affairs critic Bob Rae. Why, one might ask, is the file not being personally handled by that internationally recognized expert on human rights, Michael Ignatieff? The obvious answer is that Mr. Ignatieff has in the past -- before his incarnation as a centre-left Canadian politician -- mused publicly about torture being an effective tool for extracting information from terrorists. This awkward fact tends to weaken his party's preferred air of self-righteousness.

And why not demonstrate your lack of ability for intellectual discourse by dragging in Ignatieff's awkward position in all of this, as if it was somehow relevant to, well, anything. Yes, this should have been Ignatieff's crusade, but he's painted himself into a very small corner with his writings on the subject of torture so he deserves every bit of his discomfiture, is that it, Post? Sort of like, "Sure, it's too bad what happened to her, but did you see the way she was dressed?"

Stay classy, Post. We expect no less.

The passion of the Twatsy.

Apparently, deranged Christian mullethead and creepy Carrie Prejean obsessive Patrick "Nexus of Douchebagitude" Ross has once again sunk deep into the despair of CC Derangement Syndrome, publishing a recent post containing no fewer than 18 links referring to blog posts by your humble scribe, resulting in a crippling influx of readers from his post to this blog since around 9:30 last night (as far back as I can check via Sitemeter) whose numbers total exactly ...

One.

Here's a suggestion, Twats. If you're going to continue stalking me, at least get some readers so I get some Sitemeter benefit out of it.

Loser.

P.S. Yo, Twatsy! How's that "never gonna be a Harper deficit" working out for you? Just curious.

BONUS BOOT TO THE TWATSY NADS: And in the most delightful example of timing, one of the things that Twatdick is so panty-yankingly furious about -- Blogrunner's love affair with CC HQ:



Oh, And Twats? It doesn't matter how many posts you write defending Carrie Prejean, she's not going to give you a blowjob. She's seen your picture.

UPPITY DATE: Sitemeter tells me that a second reference from the Nexus of Douchebagitude came in earlier today. So that's two. Form a line, please. No pushing.

And we'll never forget ... uh, what's her name.

Blogging Tory Richard Ball goes full-metal teary-eyed over someone he's never met:

NEVER call someone a vegetable

Human beings may suffer various degrees of mental impairment, but they remain human beings. They do not become "vegetables". Ever. And it is wrong and dehumanizing, to suggest they do and to label them as such -- just like we get around the inconvenient fact of the unborn child by using the impersonal term "fetus" and we disassociate ourselves from evil human beings by referring to them as "animals". All are human beings created in the image of God, however undeveloped, marred, or damaged this image may be.

This comes to [sic] late to help Terry Schiavo who was, effectively, murdered (or something very close to it) with the support of a substantial percentage of American society.

Here's a thought, Rich ... we might actually believe you gave a shit about Schiavo if you demonstrated that you knew her first name was spelled "Terri," not "Terry." It's kind of like your BT colleague "Neo Conservative" perpetually getting publicly weepy over Canadian military dead while sniggeringly dismissing their deaths at the same time.

Kind of like that.

Awwwwwwkward.

Peter MacKay is adamant that Richard Colvin is full of crap:

MacKay says allegations in torture scandal 'ridiculous'

A day after a former diplomat made explosive allegations that Ottawa was aware of routine torture practices in Afghanistan, the Conservatives attacked his credibility, saying there was "no evidence" to support the claims.

Defence Minister Peter MacKay defended the government from Richard Colvin's allegations, who testified under oath that torture by Afghan intelligence forces was endemic over a two-year period.

The Tories have rejected calls for a public inquiry into the allegations.

"This is a witch hunt," MacKay said, replying in Parliament to accusations from Liberal defence critic Ujjal Dosanjh.

Wait for it ... wait for it ... here it comes ... oh, yes!

Prisoner transfers halted more than once: Natynczyk

Canada's chief of defence staff said Sunday the practice of transferring detainees from Canadian to Afghan custody has been stopped on more than one occasion over safety concerns.

Gen. Walt Natynczyk did not say when the transfers were halted or how many times.

But it's a staggering admission given the charges levelled this week by intelligence officer and former diplomat Richard Colvin, who told a Commons committee this week that likely all detainees Canadian forces handed over to Afghan officials in 2006 and 2007 were tortured.

And you really need to see the photo from that second link:



Oh, dear. That stain's gonna be tough to get out.

AFTERSNARK: I would be incredibly remiss if I didn't mock the appropriate folks thusly:



I really need more of a challenge in this job.

Sure, let's talk about civility.

Or not.

I know nuthink!

Ladies and gentlemen, your Blogging Tories:


It's a white people/brown people thing. Trust me.

Why does Rick Hillier hate the troops?

Once upon a time, I was told that having a publicly pessimistic and defeatist attitude was really, really, really bad for our troops. Uh oh:

One year to turn Afghanistan around, Hillier says

HALIFAX–Western forces have just over a year to turn around the deteriorating situation in Afghanistan, or the decade-long military effort could be lost, Canada's former top soldier says...

"We've got one shot to do it," he said Saturday at a panel discussion on the future of the Afghan mission.

"If we haven't changed in 18 months then we will not change." ...

He said Canadians' knowledge of the country's effort in Afghanistan is limited to soldiers dying, the scourge of roadside bombs and corruption in the government of Hamid Karzai.

Thanks, Rick. I'll bet that little speech perked our soldiers right up. Nice job. Carry on.

AFTERSNARK: You know, once upon a time, setting an actual date for withdrawal was a terrible idea. Apparently, times have changed. Who knew?

The strength of her convictions? Eh ... not so much.

Blogging Tory "Moose and Squirrel" wants you all to know about that despicable bully Richard Warman and his strong-arming of a 17-year-old and, to no one's surprise, fellow BTer Kate McMillan jumps in to offer moral support, because free speech is critically important to a democratic society and when douchebags like Warman come calling with low-down dirty threats and legal pressure, the right thing to do is band together and stand up to thugs like that and tell them that you're not caving in and if you want to talk lawsuits, well, bring it baby, yeah, we are so all about the solidarity!

In old news, Kathy Shaidle once wrote something really fucking stupid about Richard Warman on Kate's blog but she wants you to know that she is really, really sorry and it won't happen again.

I'm assuming you can recognize the hilarity there without any further explanation.

Once upon a fantasy ...

Oh, look:



Identifying the unintentional hilarity is left as an exercise for the reader.

Dear Iceman: Any chance of an apology sometime soon?

Here's Blogging Tory "Iceman," making an ass of himself in public:

Did Richard Colvin commit a war crime?

... Therefore my question is, if this guy knew that innocent people were being tortured and he did not tell a single superior visiting the theatre of war, is Richard Colvin personally liable for the alleged violation of the Geneva Conventions?

And then there's reality:

Many NATO officials in Kabul were also aware how seriously Canadian diplomat Richard Colvin was following the issue, he said.

"Richard Colvin behaved as a straight-up-and-down person, completely honest and doing his job to the best of his abilities," the former official said.

"He had to be terribly careful. He couldn't speak to us about this. But it was clear that the tone at the Canadian Embassy had changed. It became far more politicized – and it was clear that Richard Colvin was struggling enormously to do his work on the question of detainees."

There's a reason I refer collectively to Canada's Blogging Tories as horrifically stupid buttfuck retards. I'm sure you can tease out why.

Because this is different, that's why.

Shorter Canadian wanknuts: "As people who were appalled at the cruel, savage attacks on Sarah Palin and the horrific, ideological assault on her that was nothing less than the mean-spirited politics of personal destruction, we hope you understand that Richard Colvin must be destroyed."

Shriek, shriek, shrieeeeeeeeeeekkk!!!!! Oh ...

Shorter crazed, howling, hysterical, bloodlust-soaked Blogging Tories: "Cenotaph! Vandalism! Bastards! Screeeeeeeee!!!!!"

Shorter reality:

Cenotaph damage might not be vandalism: police

Damage at the provincial cenotaph in Fredericton might not have been the work of vandals as initially thought, police say.

It's possible the three-metre granite cross atop the monument fell over on its own because of structural flaws, said Const. Ralph Currie.

"As in all investigations, they look for physical evidence that may have been left at the scene, whether that be foot impressions, tire impressions or whatever. And it's my understanding that none of that has been found," Currie said.

There weren't any obvious tool marks or evidence that the cross was pulled over by a vehicle, either.

Explanation, please? Oh:

Concern was raised a couple of years ago that the cross was moving, Currie said. A steel post was put through the stem of the cross, but it's possible it might have come loose.

As for the second monument, witnesses have suggested it was bumped by a lawnmower earlier this summer, said Currie. Police aren't ruling anything out.

"It's not for police to believe one or the other," Currie said.

Man, but that's timely.

(Wag of the tail to Robert McClelland.)

P.S. Feel free to leave links to any of Canada's other dingbat wankers who went batshit crazy over this and who would now be feeling at least a little sheepish if they had any sense of shame whatsoever.

Let me make a prediction.

From a CanWest article today (emphasis added):

Some prisoners were tortured: Afghan warden

Prisoners were tortured, but perhaps just a dozen, Afghan warden says

KANDAHAR CITY, Afghanistan — Prisoners were tortured at Sarpoza Prison in Afghanistan, but not in nearly the numbers alleged this past week by a Canadian diplomat, the prison’s chief warden has told Canwest News Service.

“Yes, there was torture and people were certainly beaten,” chief warden Col. Abdullah Bawar said Saturday during an interview conducted inside the prison’s heavily guarded walls.

“Hands and legs would be tied and they would be beaten with cables. I even remember one man who broke his leg from a beating.

Every Blogging Tory piece you're going to read based on that article: "See? I told you that Colvin guy was exaggerating. You can't believe a word that liar says."

I'll put money on that. Anyone want a piece of that action?

Hypocrisy ...

... thy name is Stephen Harper.

Harper lauds press freedom in speech, doesn't take questions from reporters

Prime Minister Stephen Harper urged journalists to “shine light into dark corners” of government affairs during a speech late Saturday, but wouldn't take questions from reporters covering the event.

Big Daddy's not even trying to hide his complete and utter contempt for the peons any longer. I wonder if his disappearing act had anything to do with this?

Oopsie.

Canada's idiot wankers: 0 for infinity.

It occurs to me that, for the entertainment value, we here in Not-Batshit-Crazyville should put together a list of the ways in which Canada's drooling wingnuts have been wrong about, well, everything. And a delightful list it would be, quite a bit gleaned from the archives here at CC HQ.

So ... what have the residents of Retard-o-ville managed to be completely, totally and utterly wrong about over the last little while? Oh, my, where can we start?

• Jews and Iran and badges


• police provocateurs at Montebello


• no Conservative deficit


• no climate change


• no evidence for Afghani torture of detainees handed over by the Canadian military


• Sarah Palin being a dangerously shrewd and articulate politician


• that Robert Dziekanski guy had it coming

Really, I'm not even fully awake and I could rattle those off the top of my head. Should we continue? Seriously, feel free to drop a note in the comments section as to what should be added to the list. I'm thinking it could be our version of Sandy Crux's "Harper Government Accomplishments," except we could call it "Canada's Wankers' Totally Embarrassing Cockups and Clusterfucks Because They're Idiots." And, unlike the Sandy Crux Chronicles, it wouldn't be utter shash.

The comments section is now open. Go wild.

But I could have sworn ...

Nov 22, 2009:

A day after a former diplomat made explosive allegations that Ottawa was aware of routine torture practices in Afghanistan, the Conservatives attacked his credibility, saying there was "no evidence" to support the claims.

Feb 29, 2008:

The [Canadian] military had stopped handing over prisoners to Afghan officials on Nov. 6 [2007], one day after Canada received what it called ``credible evidence" that a prisoner was abused at the hands of his Afghan captors after being handed over by Canadians.

Reconciling those two conflicting accounts is left as an exercise for the reader. Or, more precisely, for the ignorant, useless hacks at the Blogging Tories. I'm sure they're all hanging out by their fax machines, waiting for the next set of retarded talking points as I type.

BONUS TRACK: Oh, dear.

The attack of the Dilbert people.

One of the most mockable Dilbert characters is someone creator Scott Adams refers to as "Bizarre Absolute Guy," who insists on restating whatever you say in terms of "bizarre absolutes" simply for the sake of being able to refute a nonsensical and irrelevant position that you never took:

Dilbert: We should add this feature to our product to make it more useful.

"Bizarre Absolute" Guy: "Are you telling me that not one person on earth will use our product without that feature?!!"

Dilbert: "You just changed what I said into a bizarre absolute."

"BA" Guy: "Oh, I change everything you say?!"

Behold, the bizarre absoluteness:

WindAtMyBack said...

harebell, I certainly do doubt the content of Colvin's statements, if he is saying for a certainty that ALL detainees were tortured. How would he know?

It's the linguistic equivalent of listening to someone, then replying with, "So what you're saying is ...," followed by a complete and total mischaracterization of what was actually said.

I call it the "Twatsification" of modern discourse. Regular readers will understand why.

To all the male whingers I've mocked before.

Dear useless male wanks:

Let me give you some free advice. It does not matter how often or how sincerely you write fawning articles gushing over Sarah Palin. She is not going to fuck you. It ain't gonna happen.

I'm glad we had this little chat.

The thigh-sucking gullibility of Kate McMillan.

Unsurprisingly, Canada's answer to Ann Coulter (only with less money and class but more empty cans of paint thinner) Kate McMillan is all over the latest climate change uproar like Patrick Ross on a bad haircut:

The Sound Of All Hell About To Break Loose, Con't

At Planet Gore, more exerpts from the Hadley CRU files; ...

Nestled deep in the comments we have this nugget from relentless crank Louise:

Just out of curiosity I just finished a little tour of the lunatic fringe side of the blogosphere to see what the reaction is there to this news.

Big City Lib has two entries both in full on denial that this means anything. There were, at the time that I visited, a grand total of 17 comments, mostly from folks telling him he was out to lunch and his pathetic attempt at rebuttal.

Everybody else was completely silent, although several did have posts up with today's date. These include Dr. Dawg, Saskboy, Stoogeleft (although he did have an entry a few days ago criticizing the lack of enthusiasm from the worlds political leaders, including Obama, about the upcoming Copenhagen conference), Canadian Cynic, Bow, James Bow, My Blahg, Unrepentant Old Hippie and Daily Kos.

Red Tory has a blog entry about the general global warming issue, but of course it was just more of the same old same old, with no hint of any acknowledgment that this story had broken.

Bunch of losers.

Well, Louise, it's like this. Given that Kate has a talent for being perpetually suckered by dumbass idiocy, it seemed only wise for me to spend yesterday geeking out, drinking wine and writing on other topics, waiting for the other shoe to drop, as it so always does shortly after you and your screeching flying monkey colleagues stroke yourselves into a frenzy only to be intellectually humiliated yet again. I could go on but, mercifully, Dr. Dawg does the heavy lifting, for which I am eternally grateful.

So there you are, Louise. My silence on the subject was due to nothing more than a lack of desire to make a gibbering, public imbecile of myself on the Intertoobz. I see neither you nor Kate suffer from any such caution.

As God is my witness …

I have not a hot clue what Bible Spice is trying to say.

O'Reilly: Let me be bold and fresh again. Do you believe you are smart enough, and incisive enough, intellectual enough, to handle the most powerful job in the world?

Palin: I believe that I am because I have common sense, and I have, I believe, the values that are reflective of so many American values. And I believe that what Americans are seeking is not the elitism, the, um, the, ah -- kind of spineless -- a spinelessness that perhaps is made up for that with elite Ivy League education and -- fact resume that's based on anything but hard work and private-sector, free-enterprise principles. Americans could be seeking something like that in positive change in their leadership. I'm not saying that that has to be me.

No, really.

CC EDITORIAL: "Let me be bold and fresh again."



Falafel!

Holy. Fucking. God.

Read the rest if you can stomach it.

Ah, the Jon Stewartness of it all.

The fun starts at about 3:45. Luckily, we of the Great White North can rest easy that we don't have that kind of pants-pissing, batshit crazy dumbassitude up here and ... and ... oh, crap.

Stephen Taylor's Blogging Tories: Because, with encouragement, even the intellectually crippled might one day become useful members of society. Or not.

Rule of thumb.

Shorter Mary Matalin, Official Darth Cheney Fluffer: If that stupid bitch had done her job properly in the first place, she wouldn’t have required such manly correction.

Money quote (emphasis gleefully added):

Time is the most valuable commodity on a campaign and you just can't waste it thinking about how to choose your words carefully or get your job done more diplomatically. If someone isn't in tears every day, that day wasn't all it could be advancing the campaign. I once witnessed an experienced (big) man slap a professional female colleague across the face over an ad buy... and no one thought anything of it, starting with the woman. In fact, she would have been insulted if anyone told her she should have been insulted.

And furthermore ... Yes, I grossed myself out by using the words "Cheney" and "Fluffer" in the same sentence. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

And further furthermore ... I can honestly say that my first reaction upon being smacked in the face by an "experienced (big) man" would not be one of insult -- it would be one of revenge.

Of course, I'm not a conservative/republican drone woman. And I know how to kill with my thumb.

Sure, let's talk about civility.

Over at Kate McMillan's Eliminationist Roadhouse and Biker Bar, "Mr. g" holds forth in the comments section:



Yeah, that inability to cavalierly murder others really mucks with one's time management, doesn't it?

Stephen Taylor must be so proud.

Hi, guys.

How's it goin', eh?

Yeah, just like that.

DISCLAIMER: The above is not my work. I stole it from here.

Time for another swift boot to the nads, I think.

There's the news of the day:

Weak growth delays Flaherty attack on deficit

As Canada's economy struggles to gain momentum, Jim Flaherty faces a delicate balancing act.

On one side, he says the economy is stable enough that no new stimulus measures are required. On the other, it's not strong enough to allow the government to tackle its massive deficits.

And there's the mullet that walks like a man:

... as it stands now, there is no deficit, and there won't be ...

That one's just never getting old, is it?

The intellectual powerhouse that is "Hunter."

Yes, it's cruel but, seriously, you need to see this:

This amazing math quiz can likely predict which of 18 films you would enjoy the most. Don't ask me how.

Pick a number from 1-9.
Multiply by 3.
Add 3.
Multiply by 3 again.

Now add the two digits together to find your predicted favorite movie in the list of 18 movies below.

Mine was "Jurassic Park" - exactly right! So be honest, and do it before you scroll down to see the list below. It's easy and it works.

I remember being bored by stuff like that when I was 5.

Yeah, THAT will give the civil service the warm fuzzies.

Someone might want to start looking for a different line of work:

Question: Why was this man [Richard Colvin] promoted to an important job in Washington and charged with intelligence if he has no credibility?

Hon. Peter MacKay: Look, I can’t answer that question and I suspect that promotion took place or it did take place long before he gave his evidence yesterday.

Shorter Peter MacKay: "Nice job you have there. Be a shame to fuck it up by standing on principle, know what I mean?"

I'm guessing Peter MacKay's title of "Honourable" isn't meant to be hilariously ironic, it's just working out that way.

Quitbull!

Heh. Indeed.

P.S. Remember how you always wished that "Ignorance should be painful?" It's not always, but at least it's occasionally uncomfortable and leaves you to stand outside for several hours, freezing in the cold for nothing. So there's that.

AH, THE UNINTENTIONAL HILARITY: Who else but Blogging Tory Maria "Stupid, Ignorant Leftards" Nunes would conveniently post this pic on her latest sopping panties paean to the Quitbull from Wasilla?



I really don't need to work on collecting the humour anymore. It just shows up at my doorstep on a regular basis.

AH, THE DELIGHTFUL CREDULITY: It's amusing to watch how poor MariaS, as smitten as she is with Caribou Barbie, is incapable of describing parts of Palin's life accurately. Here's Maria, going all gushy for Sarah:

There is a story that was published some months ago about how Palin used to keep a jar of names with telephone numbers of Alaska citizens on slips of paper, on her desk. Once a week she would let her hand drop into the jar and randomly pull out some of the slips and call up those numbers and ask simple questions: "How are we doing? Are we doing a good job? What improvements would you like to see in Alaska?"

Gosh, that's adorable. And, sadly, inaccurate:

During her first year in office [as mayor of the town of Wasilla], Palin kept a jar with the names of Wasilla residents on her desk. Once a week, she pulled a name from it and picked up the phone; she would ask: "How's the city doing?"

So the story doesn't reflect Palin's self-aborted stint as governor of Alaska, it refers to her tenure as mayor of Wasilla. Sure, it's pedantic, but it's also depressing to realize that Maria -- who so obsessively worships Palin to the point where Palin probably has extra security to check the bushes for footprints every night -- is incapable of accuracy in a story even that simple. But this is MariaS we're talking about here. Don't be expecting accuracy any time soon.

Canada's whingers: Because objective reality is hard werk.

Over at Spanky's Sandbox and Pillow Fort, The Politic's Charles Anthony postulates about a public torture inquiry rather puzzlingly:

That attitude is unsatisfactory. An inquiry is only as good as it satisfies the level of scrutiny of all the left-wing and right-wing wack-jobs involved.

In other words, you will spend more of my taxes to subsidize professional arguers on both sides of the fences who will repeatedly discuss the merits of more hearsay evidence ad nauseum. At the end of the day, if you do not like what the inquiry discloses (or fails to disclose) you can stiill cry foul.

Huh. How ... interesting. What Charles seems to be suggesting is that a public inquiry -- no matter how competently run, no matter how unimpeachable its conclusions -- will simply produce a bunch of bickering ideologues in the end, some of them agreeing with the results, some disagreeing so, like, what's the point?

What a fascinating conjecture.

Because if I read Charles correctly (and I'm pretty sure I do), what he's suggesting is that he simply doesn't accept the concept of an objective reality -- a reality which, regardless of your political bent, must be accepted based on the overwhelming supporting evidence.

You see, one would have thought that a properly run public inquiry would not simply consist of people yelling at each other across the House of Commons. No, one would have thought that a properly run public inquiry would involve interviewing the players, collecting the relevant official correspondence, teasing out the incriminating e-mails, checking phone logs and perhaps even wrenching free from the pathologically corrupt and secretive Stephen Harper Party of Canada (probably via official Freedom of Information requests) the sorts of things they really, really, really don't want you to know. You know -- things that prove beyond any doubt what sort of hiedously dishonest scumbags and weasels they are.

Yes, one would think that a competently run public inquiry would, first and foremost, concentrate on establishing objectively what happened, and when it happened, and who it happened to, that sort of thing, all based on solid evidence, much of it from the public record that can't just be contemptuously dismissed so that, in the end, there is no logical way to reject the carefully-crafted conclusions. You'd think that, anyway.

But that would not be part of the world that Charles lives in. Apparently, Charles' world is inhabited by people whose rationale for rejecting massively substantiated claims is simply that ... they don't like them. In Charles' world, ideological bluster and spittle is all-important; proof and evidence and facts, eh, not so much.

It's depressing but totally unsurprising. After all, these are the people whose accusations of horrible, anti-Conservative media bias are defined as "whatever we disagree with." Whether or not bias actually exists is quite irrelevant. What's relevant is that they take exception with the content. And whether the content is grounded in reality is, for Charles and his drinking buds, not really part of the conversation.

In a sense, then, Charles is entirely correct. A public inquiry probably would be a waste of time. After all, if it was based on rigourous and methodical investigation, it would be accepted by sane people regardless of where it led, while the opinion of Canada's whingnuts would take into account nothing more than whether or not they agreed with the findings.

For Charles and his right-wing whackjob colleagues, ideology is everything. Reality is simply convenient, but only occasionally.

Talking to conservatives -- the next episode.

Try to watch that and not think of Blogging Tory "Neo Conservative." No, really.

Yeah, who could have seen THAT coming?

When teabagging turns ugly:

Tea partyers turn on each other

After emerging out of nowhere over the summer as a seemingly potent and growing political force, the tea party movement has become embroiled in internal feuding over philosophy, strategy and money and is at risk of losing its momentum.

The grass-roots activists driving the movement have become increasingly divided on such core questions as whether to focus their efforts on shaping policy debates or elections, work on a local, regional, state or national level or closely align themselves with the Republican Party, POLITICO found in interviews with tea party organizers in Washington and across the country.

Then there's the unfortunate imagery:

Ned Ryun, president of American Majority, a nonprofit that has conducted organizer-training sessions for many tea party activists, said “the next three to six months” are going to be critical in determining “what’s going to happen with the tea party movement. Are they going to be a bunch of fingers, or are they going to come together to be a fist?”

Because when you're a teabagger, nothing says "credibility" like introducing fingers and fists into the conversation. Time to put the CC HQ comedy writers on high alert. It's going to be a good winter.

You CANNOT make this stuff up.

BONUS TRACK: Balby comments:

Hmm. I wonder how that will impact on his plans to immigrate to Israel and join the JDF - no, sorry, that was look into investingating the potential for doing some research about the Canadian Reserves - whoops, sorry, I think he was gonna be an astronaut.

Yes, Justin really is just a cartoon of a human being:



And Justin? The first step in getting better is admitting you have a problem. Good boy.

Beauty Is In The... Aw Fuck It

Done with breakfast? You soon will be, check this out!

ARTISTIC LICENSE: CC here -- this has to be done:



OK, we're good.

Credibility: It's a context thing, I guess.

Shorter Canadian wingnuts: "As drooling yokels who immediately embraced every ridiculous fable and fairy tale from a low-level Canadian consulate peon regarding Suaad Hagi Mohamud, it's obvious that intelligence officer and ex-diplomat Richard Colvin is full of shit. I mean, really, what a liar."

CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE: Over at the Li'l Rascals Cardboard Tree Fort and No-Girls-Allowed Clubhouse, The Politic's Jonathan McLeod has a brief attack of sanity and actual logic:

The government’s argument is weak and implausible. It seems unrealistic that no prisoners whom Canada turned over to Afghan authorities were tortured. Mistakes are going to happen, sadly, but the Conservatives’ offensive is just a little bit too much.

Even if the government was not complicit in any wrongdoing by senior officials in Afghanistan, its refusal to properly confront this issue after the fact makes them accomplices. If they want to return to side of the righteous, they must make sure that this never happens again; they must take the NDP’s advice and create some sort of public investigation.

It is imperative that any investigation be public. Stephen Harper’s government has already made too much of an effort to hide inconvenient testimony to be fully trusted to take care of this matter on their own.

Sadly, Jonathan's thoughtful and nuanced piece attracts exactly the wrong demographic in the way of commenters. The stupid, crazy demographic.

ABOUT THAT "BURDEN OF PROOF" THING: Have you noticed that the people howling about the overwhelming need for absolutely unimpeachable, incontrovertible truckloads of evidence are, for the most part, the same ones who believe in an invisible, intangible God? For no reason. Just because. It's a "faith" thing and, no, they don't want to discuss it intellectually.

And, no, they don't see the hypocrisy.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, your compassionate Conservatives:

machiavelli on November 20th, 2009 6:06 am:

All Canadians, who are not left-wing extremist or terrorists coddlers, are demanding that the the opposition parties and the left-wing whack-jobs in the press gallery, lead by the far-left bias CBC,Tor star, Globe & Mail, and the CTV, explain why they are so, so concerned about the alleged mis-treatment of their beloved Taliban terrorist heroes, and why they hate our Canadian troops.

Why are the far-left opposition party members and the left bias, anti Conservative Party press so willing to believe the second-hand, unnamed, flimsy,alleged, possibly fabricated, instantiated “evidence” promulgated by a whack-job, terrorist loving, far-leftdiplomat , Colvin rather than their government? This terrorist loving traitor who has no creditability spins second-hand Taliban rumours from his terrorists friends who are attempting to discreditthe Canadian troops by lying as they are trained to do in the Al Qaeda manual. Our Canadian legal system depends on evidence rather than here say from terrorists or terrorists supporters such as Colvin.

These, of course, are the same terrorist hugging opposition members who are extremely concerned about the human rights of terrorists such asthe Canadian savage Khadr, but who despise our troops and everything that they stand for, and have always been against the war on terrorism.

And remember, ladies ... he's single.

P.S. I'm thinking that, if someone knew who "machiavelli" was, Richard Colvin would have a solid case for a defamation lawsuit. I'm just sayin'.

Ah, the jabba-flavoured hypocrisy.

Blogging Tory jabba the roy pushes himself away from the buffet table long enough to hork up another tear jerker (courtesy of Five Feet of Bowel Obstruction):

Very sad and frightening

If you are a Holocaust denier or noam chomsky you can speak at a US campus. Not if you support Israel or tell the truth about jihad.

This time, Nonie, who is the founder of Arabs for Israel, was invited to speak at both Columbia and Princeton. The official invitation at Columbia came from the very distinguished CAMERA, Scholars for Peace in the Middle East (SPME), and from a new student organization there: Campus Media Watch, a group which is not yet quite up and running. Darwish flew from the West Coast, and was already all dressed up and ready to travel to Columbia when she got word that she’d been canceled.

“How humiliating is that? To come all this way, to be almost out the door, only to be told that they had to cancel my speech because campus security felt they could not protect me. Everyone is trying to blame someone else. Even the campus Republicans were afraid to sponsor me. SPME kept trying to fix it, but in the end, they could not.”

And if there's one thing we know about dr. jabba, it's that he's all about the freedom of speech. Or maybe not so much:

Galloway Ban upheld

Some of my friends , and others such as Lord Black want galloway to come here to entertain us. I am somewhat conflicted on this issue, but I think in the end this is the right decision for this individual. I am happy about the upholding of the ban against him, even though it's bringing him more publicity. galloway is a known funder of a terrorist organization. His so called charity is now being investigated. Its not like he;s being silenced. All his various utterances are being reported in great detail in our media.

I'd try to explain that whole "As ye sow, so shall ye reap" thing to jabba but, let's face it, jabba's just not into big words.

For the love of God, Justin, just stay down!

At this point, it's simply cruel to continue mocking Blogging Tory Justin "Raging Weightlifter" Hoffer anymore but, really, you can't miss this, where Justin chastises everyone in his own comments section:

Everyone here... you seem to be completely misunderstanding American politics.

Yes, Justin ... why don't you lecture us all on the vagaries of American politics? Let me make myself comfortable first. Because you just know this is going to be entertaining.

THE BURNING STUPID: Astonishingly, Justin quotes the following as if it's a good thing:

The pair shares a tendency to strike fear into the hearts of their supporters. Palin, for her part, has alleged Obama is aiming to do away with the elderly and infirm with the so-called death panels in his health-care reform overhaul, while Beck has accused the president of being a racist, a socialist and has also drawn parallels between his policies and those of Adolf Hitler.

The Anti-Defamation League has cited Beck, who also has a syndicated radio show, as the "most important mainstream media figure who has repeatedly helped to stoke the fires of anti-government anger."

Um, Justin ... you do know that the ADL despises Glenn Beck, right? Like here:

In a new report that warns of the potential for anti-government violence since President Obama’s election, the Anti-Defamation League singles out Fox News TV pundit and radio host Beck for “making a habit” of promoting anti-government conspiracy theories from his mainstream media perch.

“Beck has acted as a ‘fearmonger-in-chief,’ raising anxiety about and distrust towards the government,” the study’s authors write, reports the New York Daily News.

The ADL study cites instances where Beck has called President Obama “dangerous” and compared him to Hitler to argue the case that Beck may be putting his viewers on a path to becoming extremists.The ADL also faults the popular and polarizing host for providing a platform to guests who tout paranoid fears like: Obama and his administration are trying to create a “civilian national security force” of political loyalists; or, that FEMA is building concentration camps to contain “dissidents.”

Seriously, I don't think Justin understands that.

Hunter? Dodo?

Christ, it's a wonder these people can dress themselves in the morning without help.

Urine-stained Republicans.

Once upon a time, even George W. Bush thought terrorists should be tried in the United States:

But there are some that, if put out on the streets, would create grave harm to American citizens and other citizens of the world. And, therefore, I believe they ought to be tried in courts here in the United States. We will file such court claims once the Supreme Court makes its decision as to whether or not -- as to the proper venue for these trials. And we're waiting on our Supreme Court to act.

Today, of course, whingers are peeing themselves in fear over that very possibility. Go figure.

"It was a dark and stormy night ..."

Opening sentences destined to stand the test of time:

As the jury deliberates whether or not to expel me from the Blogging Tories, I want to say that I really don't want to join the Liblogs.

And I'm fairly sure they're not really interested in having you, Iceman. But on behalf of everyone here at CC HQ, we'd like to thank you for the pants-peeing entertainment over the last couple of days. Really, it's been special.

THE DEBILITATING CLUELESSNESS: It's not clear Iceman understands exactly how the Intertoobz work:

At the end of the day, I need a site to host my Blog, ...

Epic intellectual fail.

Heh.

Indeed.

Ah, the delightful misogyny.

If you have the stomach for it, you really should check out the Neandertal thinking in the comments over at Kate's House of Dumbth at this aforementioned post.

I particularly like this cheap shot at the Post's Diane Francis:

I followed the Google link and saw that the National Post had one near the top of the listing with: “Why I love Sarah Palin”

Is Diane Francis going through “the change” or has she always been this loopy and hysterical??

Hahahahaha! "The change." Oh, Lord, the humour.

Justin and Iceman: The Bitchslap Chronicles.

Sure, they're pissed with each other now, but I'm betting the make-up sex will be spectacular.

P.S. Don't make Stephen Taylor pull this car over and come back there. Seriously.

OH, DEAR: The bitchslapitude continues:



Jesus, could the two of you just get a bathroom stall and a tube of Astroglide and settle this like Blogging Tories? Honestly, you're starting to frighten the children.

There are no words.

At this point, I can only pray that Maria never figures out where I live; otherwise, I suspect I'd come home from work one day to find my cat nailed to the front door.

Seriously, when someone that obviously deranged gets positively giddy over somebody else developing "a taste for lefty blood," it's time to get the security folks to drive by a little more often.

Stephen Taylor must be so proud.

Bartender! Zimas for everyone!

Now go fetch CC some bourbon.

Don't worry, Iceman ...

... that's just the 'roids talking. But, yeah, I might keep my doors locked at night, anyway.

And the last tenuous link to reality finally snaps.

Over at Kate McMillan's Delisle White Power Laundromat and Tattoo Parlor, the final slender thread connecting Kate to the real world gives way:



Quite so, Kate ... the relentless media coverage of The Quitbull from Wasilla can only reflect her current relevance. You know, like the balloon boy. What other explanation could there be?

Sadly, Kate never bothered to follow some of those links, where we find even Diane Francis at the Post giving Palin her due, but probably not in a way that Kate had in mind.

Diane Francis: Real journalist. Kate McMillan: Not so much.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh, Lord, this is adorable. If one follows that link from Kate's House of Screechy Harridanism, one ends up here:

Thousands cheer Palin in Mich. for book tour

Nov 18, 7:03 PM (ET)

By KATHY BARKS HOFFMAN

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (AP) - College students ditched class, employees skipped work and some huddled in the cold overnight just to make sure they get an orange wristband Wednesday that would let them meet Sarah Palin.

Thousands gathered outside a Barnes & Noble and chanted "Palin! Palin! Palin!" for the kickoff of the former Republican vice presidential candidate's "Going Rogue" book tour, which has taken on the feel of a political pep rally.

Yessir, the Quitbull from Wasilla is some kind of popular, and Fox News wants to make damned sure you know that:



Whoo hoo! Let the bells ring out, let the banners fly, Sarah's here, Sarah's here, Sarah's ... um, hang on, back that up just a bit, what's on those t-shirts?



I'm sorry ... do those t-shirts read "McCain"? Oh, so that's actually video footage from last year's presidential campaign. Attagirl, Kate ... way to be suckered yet again. This is starting to be a habit for her, isn't it?

Jon Stewart should have a field day with this.

(Wag of the tail to TP.)

Talking to conservatives.

Yeah, it's kind of like that, isn't it?

Probably not the attention Adrian was looking for.

Here at CC HQ, we get the most interesting visitors:



By the way, that link takes you here. Happy reading, CBC.

The Denyseitude of it all.

It's been a while since we've checked in on Canada's most prominent IDiot, Denyse O'Leary. One wonders what she's been hallucinating. Uh oh ...

Fact: In North America, you cannot legally line up people at gun point and force them to watch some propaganda film about Darwin - or about anything - and threaten to shoot them if they say they do not believe it. If that is not the law where you live, please hold a revolution now.*

*As a traditional Canadian, I am not a fan of revolutions in general. We prefer peaceful transitions. But we must all be realists. In Canada, nature is our vast antagonist, not man. Check a map But in some places maybe people need a revolution, to get the point across.

Watching someone melt down intellectually is always sad.

I am CC, the great and powerful.

Apparently, I am the towel snap to the nads against which all others shall be measured (check the comments there).

I am CC, the great and powerful. Fear me.

What Andrew said.

It's not often I agree with Andrew Sullivan but, hey, he has his moments.

BONUS TRACK: What ledaro said.

Ah, the nad-crushing irony.

Oh, dear. Yes, Adrian ... as a member of the Blogging Tories, why don't you lecture us on the classlessness of an iron-fisted control of one's comments section?

The lack of self-awareness is positively mind-numbing, isn't it?

The Justin Chronicles: Part 4,921.

Shorter Conflicted, Raging Weightlifter: "If you allow me to horrifically misrepresent and mischaracterize the very foundations of atheism and invent a completely unbelievable conversation involving an utterly unrealistic atheist, I believe I have a good argument here."

Those of you who prefer to argue from a position of actually knowing something might want to educate yourselves here and here.

No, no, don't thank me -- towel-snapping low-hanging fruit is what I live for.

The cognitive dissonance must be overwhelming.

Let's see here ... there's Blogging Tory Maria "Dodo" Nunes' public philosophy on bigotry -- specifically, anti-Semitism:

... I happen to hate anti-semites and anti-gay idiots.

Then there's her moist-panty crush on one Glenn Beck. And, finally, there's the Anti-Defamation League, who have pretty much had enough of the aforementioned Glenn Back.

I'm guessing Maria's response to this will be something along the lines of, "Yeah, so what's your point?" Call it a hunch.

Yes, Dean, I am *so* ready to be chastised.

Shorter corpulent pork chop Dean Del Mastro: "As a member of a political party that has relentlessly debased Question Period and insulted members of the opposition to the point of accusing them of being terrorist lovers and stuff like that, it's really unbecoming for people to make this personal."

P.S. I'm hoping it's still acceptable to use the phrases "Dean Del Mastro" and "pork" in the same sentence, depending on the context.

Awwwwwwwkward.

Oh, dear. By way of response, Canada's Blogging Tories announced that a Passenger Bill of Rights is simply helping the terrorists. And kills puppies, too.

"He'll have a fair trial. THEN we'll hang him."

Over at The Politic Li'l Rascals Treehouse, Martin Street has no patience with that whole "fair trial" nonsense:

It is absolutely unthinkable, absolutely impossible, that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed will leave the courtroom in New York a free man. The Supreme Court finding that some of the techniques used in his interrogation constitute torture will surely come up, and in a normal case this would sink the prosecution. It will not have a bearing on the outcome of this case. There can be no other outcome but a finding of guilt and a sentence of death. As it was for Saddam Hussein, so too shall it be for KSM.

Does it bother anyone else that Martin seems positively gleeful about that? That's just creepy.

AH, THE LINGUISTIC WEASELITUDE: You have to love the semantic shiftiness of Canada's Blogging Adolescents, when they use annoyingly vague language like (emphasis added):

It proposes that any number of activities committed on foreign soil, tantamount to acts of war, should ultimately be treated as domestic criminal matters within the American civilian court system.

I'm sorry ... "tantamount" to acts of war? How conveniently ... nebulous. Come on, Martin, take a stand -- are they acts of war or aren't they? Because given how the Geneva Conventions govern behaviour during times of, you know, war, I think it's pretty important to characterize whether we're officially at war or not, don't you think?

That kind of pathetically ambiguous language is what you expect from dishonest shysters like the pro-life yokels who, when you ask them directly if abortion is murder, will most likely weasel themselves into a coma with a response like, "Well, it's tantamount to murder."

So, really, Martin, you're being a pussy here. If you want to make an argument, then define your terms and stand by them. Trying to argue with a metaphorical mouthful of marbles is just unbecoming.

Ouch. That's gonna leave a mark.

Having tossed out his overwhelming ignorance for public display, Blogging Tory and Barack Obama obsessive Paul E. Marek proceeds to get spanked soundly in his own comments section, as commenters bring the facts and the research and the references, and Paul brings the sleazy, tap-dancing weaselitude and relentless shifting of goalposts.

It's a Blogging Tory thing. Or a retard thing. Sometimes, it's hard to tell the difference.

Reeding iz hard werk.

Not the person you want with their finger on the big red button:

Palin: 'I'm A Lover Of Books And Magazines And Newspapers,' And I Was Annoyed With Katie Couric

During her interview with Oprah Winfrey, Sarah Palin explained her infamous gaffe from the 2008 campaign, when Katie Couric asked what newspapers and magazines she reads, and Palin responded that she reads "all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years." And Palin said that she was annoyed at someone asking about what people in Alaska read.

"Now obviously, you've read books and magazines," said Winfrey. "Why didn't you just name some books or magazines?"

"Well, and obviously [sic] I have of course all my life read. I'm a lover of books and magazines and newspapers," said Palin. "By the time she asked me that question, even though it was kind of early on in the interview, I was already so annoyed, and it was very unprofessional of me to wear that annoyance on my sleeve."

I'm imagining a Palin presidency right now:

"So, Mrs. President, out of curiosity, what do you like to read?"

"What do I like to read? What do I like to read? You're asking me if I know how to fucking read?! Of course I can read, books and magazines, and books also, too! You don't think I can fucking read!?!? Well, let me show you what I think of that. There! I just nuked Bangkok. You want some more of that!? Fucking read, you betcha! Also, too."

Yeah, that's pretty much how it would play out.

And sometimes, God just hands you the entertainment.

Raging, Weightlifting Chickenhawk Jew Justin "Raging Tory" Hoffer wants your feedback:

Changing my blog name.

I've decided that I'm going to change my blog name, and I have a few ideas as to what. Please vote in the poll on the left and tell me what you think. Poll will run until the end of November. My own vote is for Republican Conservative, but I'm open to suggestions.

Feel free to drop by and give Justin some suggestions. I'm thinking that something combining the ideas of bogus military service and 'roid rage would fit the bill. But that's just a thought.

AND HERE'S JUSTIN with his own amusing take on history:

National socialists continue to live.

In the 1940's, left wing dictators set out to massacre every Jew in the world.

A blog name of "Massively Retarded Blogging Tory" leaps to mind. Or maybe "Justin Can Weightlift." Either one works for me.