At the risk of embarrassing myself, I'm going to admit that I truly, sincerely don't get this unabashed, drooling love affair that right-wing wanks have with Israel. Seriously, I don't get it at all so perhaps someone can enlighten me.
Consider, for instance, Canada's wanks. First, I doubt most of them have ever been to Israel, so it's not like this slobbering adulation is based on personal experience of any kind.
More to the point, it's not like these people even like Jews. I mean, they go on and on and tediously on about supporting "Israel" while at the same time being virulently anti-Semitic, what with their "Jews control the banks" and "Jews control Hollywood" and "Hey, wasn't the Holocaust a hoot?" In fact, I'm guessing most of those conservative dingbats don't even know any Jews, so we can't look there for an explanation.
Perhaps it's based on some sort of international geopolitical issues. Yeah, as if. These are, after all, some of the stupidest human beings imaginable so it's safe to assume that their panty-moistening longing for Israel doesn't come from any deeply intellectual analysis of worldwide political dynamics.
Perhaps, maybe, it's just a laudable supporting position for the underdog, the underprivileged, the downtrodden, which no doubt explains their unswerving public support for, say, East Timor and the like. No, I'm fairly sure that explains very little. And if we want to make a religious argument, well, that gets kind of awkward given that whole "Dirty Jews killed our Saviour" thing from some time back. So ... what's left?
Why conservative Christians' love of Israel is intertwined with the Battle of Armageddon
Evangelical Christians have overwhelmed the White House switchboard in recent weeks with phone calls urging President Bush to continue supporting Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon. In early May, more than 250 Christian leaders attended a prayer breakfast at the Israeli embassy. Last week, former Christian Coalition chairman Ralph Reed announced the formation of a Christian "Stand for Israel" campaign.
There have been many recent media reports of this "strange bedfellows" relationship between Jews--here and in Israel--and the conservative Christians who love them, especially since the relationship seems to be influencing government policy. Some have explained it as a result of the declining dependence on Arab oil, which meant leaders here needn't be as allied with Arab countries. Others suggest that after Sept. 11, Americans felt an immediate, gut-wrenching identification with Israelis, who have lived with the Muslim militant threat for decades.
But the least understood, and probably most important, reason has been missed by most secular analysts. Evangelicals support Israel because of biblical prophecy, including passages that tie the survival of Israel to the Second Coming of Jesus.
And even though this rationale really, really creeps me out, frankly, I can't think of a better reason. Is it truly that simple? "I support Israel because I am a deranged, religious whackjob waiting for the Rapture." Is that it? Because beyond that analysis, I have to say, absolutely nothing else makes a lick of sense.
The Prime Minister looked suitably embarrassed when he rose to answer the Liberal charges during Question Period, and not just because he dismissed the need to go into deficit as “stupid and dangerous” little more than a month ago.
The Conservatives are planning on tabling a federal budget with a $40 billion deficit, CTV News has learned.
The deficit would be the highest since the 1993 budget and $10 billion more than Prime Minister Stephen Harper indicated in a late 2008 interview with CTV.
In all fairness, though, Stephen Harper couldn't possibly have seen this coming. After all, he's only an "economist."
I spent the afternoon at Kaleidoscope Books listening to Bow. James Bow. read from his latest novel "The Young City", the third in The Unwritten Books series. After the reading was over, James, his adorable daughter, Vivian, Dr. Dawg and I wandered down to the Barley Mow for dinner. The food was excellent, the conversation was immeasurably better and Vivian and I bonded as only two girls can.
I know -- I mean, really, I know -- that I should let sleeping retards lie but, seriously, I can't resist. Once again, we have Northern BC Dipper catching Stephen Harper Party hack propagandist Tom Flanagan with his nads hanging out, and everyone understands it ... except for, well, take a wild guess.
Here's a suggestion, Twatsy -- when you deal with your previous douchebaggery, you can join this conversation. Does that work for you?
Apparently, if you're a member of Liblogs, you have a right to Jason Cherniak's opinion. So I'm going to make this really simple: Resolve this, or go bye-bye from the CC HQ blogroll.
Seriously, I'm not going to make a big deal out of this because it just isn't worth the brain cells, but my position is going to be fairly straightforward. If Liblogs is the intellectual property of one Jason Cherniak, and Jason can decide whose opinions are acceptable and whose aren't, then you can either get rid of that greasy little toad and return Liblogs to a position of respectability, or you can leave Liblogs in a gesture of protest. Whatever works for you.
But I figure that, after a day or so, if Jason is still running things and censoring whatever bothers his delicate sensibilities, then if you're sticking around there, you won't be sticking around here. And that's the way it is.
And, oh yeah ... would someone just punch Jason Cherniak in the face? Thanks ever so muchly.
Just when you think the Blogging Tards Tories and their forum trolls can’t get any stupider, something like this comes along.
How would you define homophobia?
Does it strictly mean a radical stance, where you can't stand the sight of gay people, and fight against their rights?
Or would you also call homophobic being uncomfortable with people revealing their homosexuality?
I ask because I have recently learned that some of my acquaintances from high school have come out of the closet and for some reason, I feel strange about it. I would not avoid them, if I saw them on the street, nor would I call them names, but I do feel differently about them.
Does that make me homophobic? I don't want to attribute that label to myself, but then again, what exactly does this label describe?
Thoughts...?
In the interests of simple human kindness, I will now attempt to explain things to our precious cretin, nathaliejcaron (if that’s really her name).
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, Homophobia is defined as the "irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals". So yes dear, that fact that you find it oh-so terribly icky that some former friends have come out of the closet absolutely proves that you are most definitely and screamingly homophobic. Bravo – your parents, and the Blogging Tards Tory collective must be so proud.
You’re welcome, I’m sure. It's alllllllll about me. Poor, poor nathaliejcaron -- shamefully victimized by all the people who wouldn't confide in her.
I do feel like there was a sense of being lied to, but in another way, I shouldn't even care, probably... It's just been bugging me, and I can't quite put my finger on why.
Hmmmmm ... do you think it kind of, sort of, maybe had something to do with the fact that they knew she'd have some excessively juvenile "ew, ew, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww" reaction?
Thanks to this link that PSA sent me, we’re going to change things up for the next few weeks. Since I have commitment issues, listing 100 is just too much to expect from me -- I think we'll go with 20 for now.
But I will be giving you two, two cartoons for the price of one – in no particular order (commitment issues ... hello?). I really am too good to you.
I blame the Liberals. IN OTHER NEWS, Stephen Taylor's Blogging Tories would like you to know how all of this demonstrates Stephen Harper's bold initiative. And strong leadership. And that he clearly has a massive wang. A massive, massive wang.
It seems like only yesterday that the boys at PowerLine (in a post they have conveniently disappeared) wrote of President Chimpy McChimpster:
It must be very strange to be President Bush. A man of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius, he can't get anyone to notice. He is like a great painter or musician who is ahead of his time, and who unveils one masterpiece after another to a reception that, when not bored, is hostile
It's not that U of Calgary professor and Stephen Harper Party propagandist Dr. Tom Flanagan is a pathetic, unethical, hypocritical, lying scumbag -- we've already established that. But there's a potentially bigger story here than just Flanagan being a total douche.
See, we all understand that Flanagan is, first and foremost, a political hack and fluffer for Stephen Harper, and that's unlikely to ever change. What we don't understand is how his relentless dishonesty might be coming back to bite his U of Calgary department or faculty in the ass.
Flanagan is currently a member of the Department of Political Science in the Faculty of Social Sciences at Calgary, and one has to wonder if anyone above him in the food chain is getting a mite uncomfortable with his public misrepresentation of the very area in which he is supposed to be such an expert.
Theoretically, regardless of how partisan one might be, you'd think that tenured academics have a fundamental and non-negotiable obligation to, well, tell the truth. You know -- to not lie. But if that's the case, then it would seem Tommy Boy has some sort of special dispensation, because he lies every time he opens his festering gob, and you have to think that this has the potential to put both his department and his faculty in a very, very awkward position.
Consider, just as an example, Flanagan teaching a course in intro Canadian politics, with the final exam containing a question on the legitimacy of multi-party coalitions. As we all know now (because Flanagan conveniently explained it in his very own textbook), there is nothing whatsoever illegitimate about such a coalition. But if that question were on the final, we now have a bit of a problem:
What would be the right answer?
Would it be the one found in Flanagan's text? Or the totally contradictory one found in Flanagan's Op-Ed piece? Oh, dear. And if you don't think that has the potential for embarrassment, think of someone failing a course by just a whisker because they got that answer "wrong." Don't you think there would be grounds for appeal? "Well, sure, my prof said this in class, but he said the other thing in the Globe and Mail! Why don't you ask him what the right answer is?"
Awwwwwwwwwkward.
More to the point, one has to wonder whether anyone is starting to get a bit worried about the perceived honesty of Flanagan's department or faculty, in which it appears that tenured academics are free to say whatever they want, depending on the audience. At what point does Flanagan stop being a vile, lying toad and start becoming an actual danger to the integrity of his academic institution? And at what point might someone who cares about such things decide that enough is enough, and that Tommy should shut the hell up or they'll drag his sorry ass in front of a review board for conduct unbecoming a tenured academic?
All of this is, of course, unlikely since Flanagan has tenure and is almost certainly beyond the reach of mere carping and whining. But if some ambitious journo wanted a story, I wouldn't waste any time trying to talk to Flanagan -- he's a consummate liar.
Instead, why not drop a dime on a phone call to the head of his department or faculty, and ask whether anyone there is getting a wee bit antsy with Flanagan making them look like unprincipled, political hacks? And whether this kind of behaviour might come back in a wicked way if Flanagan's ignorant public pronouncements are dragged back into the classroom and compared to his lecture notes? And whether students of his are suddenly in a position to demand better grades because those "wrong" answers are, suddenly, not so "wrong" after all.
AFTERSNERK: It's going to be fun to watch how many of Stephen Taylor's Blogging Tories get caught with their panties down around their ankles over this one.
Poor Mark C.: Still failing Poli Sci 101. Is anyone surprised?
BONUS SNERK: One of the wickedest smackdowns of Noonan's slobbery adoration of Republicans in general is, well, here:
[James Wolcott's] ''Attack Poodles'' is irresistible political entertainment from and for the left. It is a true sadistic pleasure to watch Wolcott exact revenge for the hours he has wasted watching the likes of Joe Scarborough, Michael Savage and Chris Matthews. A skilled hit man, Wolcott sharpens his instruments and takes his time in setting up a kill. In his assault on Peggy Noonan, he quotes a passage from her memoir, ''What I Saw at the Revolution,'' in which she waxed romantic about glimpsing one of the President Reagan's brown shoes. It was ''not a big foot, not formidable, maybe a little . . . frail,'' Noonan wrote. ''I imagine cradling it in my arms, protecting it from unsmooth roads.''
''His other foot,'' Wolcott writes, ''would just have to fend for itself.''
Sadly, Barack Obama's feet are on their own. I'm guessing they'll survive.
In your quest to stack the Senate with 18 oh-so sympathetic water-carriers, one would think you could’ve taken 5 minutes out of your busy schedule of not doing the people's work to perform just the tiniest bit of vetting first.
So just how is Israel better or different than Hamas or any of the other murderously insane, regional maniacs? Matching oufits! Expensive public relations with loads of access to the ever so liberal, western main stream media. Not to mention them having the might and influence of America to provide an endless supply of weapons and cash, all the while blocking any attempt to rein in their bloodthirsty ways. As long as the stars and stripes still fly there won't be a UN resolution against Israel's crimes, no sir.
At least 30 people were killed in the Zeitoun district of Gaza after Israeli troops repeatedly shelled a house to which more than 100 Palestinians had been evacuated by the Israeli military, the UN said today.
The UN Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (OCHA), said it was "one of the gravest incidents since the beginning of operations" against Hamas militants in Gaza by the Israeli military on 27 December.
OCHA said the incident took place on 4 January, a day after Israel began its ground offensive in Gaza.
According to testimonies gathered by the UN, Israeli soldiers evacuated around 110 Palestinians to a single-storey house in Zeitoun, south-east Gaza. The evacuees were instructed to stay indoors for their own safety but 24 hours later the Israeli army shelled the house with rockets. Around half the Palestinians sheltering in the house were children, OCHA said.
Now, the OCHA isn't about to directly accuse Israel of premeditated murder but I'm not so shy. This smacks of the cold blooded and intentional murder of innocents. Despite repeated claims by IDF spokespersons that Israel is doing all in their power to avoid civilian casualties, the fact remains that about 42% of the casualties in Gaza are children. More than 750 Palestinians have been killed and thousands injured by Israeli attacks. I don't care if the murderers wear uniforms or ski masks, this is a terrorist campaign and it must stop. Thankfully, we live in Canada, a nation long respected for brokering peace. At least that's how it used to be.
We already have Steve Harper and his "measured response" lies to stain our consciences. Well, at least we can rely on the opposition Liberals to speak out for calm... or not so much. Seems Count Iggy the Annointed is on the same bloody page as Steve the Plump.
"Canada has to support the right of a democratic country to defend itself," he told reporters in Halifax yesterday after speaking to a forum of business leaders on the economy.
"Israel has been attacked from Gaza, not just last year, but for almost 10 years," Ignatieff said.
"They evacuated from Gaza so there is no occupation in Gaza."
Earlier this week, Canada condemned Palestinian fighters for endangering the lives of civilians in the Gaza Strip.
So the Liberals and Ignatieff are also pimping the notion that all those hundreds of casualties are justified. And we Canadians evidently have to "support the right of a democratic country to defend itself". Well is that so, Iggy? Because under these new rules, Pakistan has every right in the world to launch attacks on the continental United States. Turkey has every right to launch even larger scale attacks against Kurdish territories of northern Iraq. Hell, half of Central America has a clear right to seek violent reprisals against the Americans for their decades of violence, meddling and shenanigans.
The sad fact is that there are two players on the field in the Gaza conflict and neither side is showing any honour, acting with any restraint or deserving of any allegiance. Israel is behaving as every bit the terrorist that Hamas is and we are tainted by our politicians' unflagging support of their crimes against humanity in the Gaza. Ignatieff and Harper are both pimping for murder and war crimes and it sickens me to see how low our nation's moral stock has fallen. There can be no resolution to this situation by pointing the finger of blame and assigning responsibility to only one side.
Ignatieff also said Hamas shoulders the blame.
"Hamas is a terrorist organization and Canada can't touch Hamas with a 10-foot pole," he said.
"Hamas is to blame for organizing and instigating these rocket attacks and then for sheltering among civilian populations."
Ignatieff said Canada must do whatever it can to get humanitarian and medical relief into Gaza when there is a ceasefire, but rocket attacks on Israel by Hamas must stop first.
Well here's some campaign news Iggy, to scum like you and your lapdogs Cherniak and Kinsella, a vote for the Liberal Party of Canada is no different and no better than a vote for Steve Harper's Conservatives. You both support crimes against humanity and you are both a stain on this once great nation's soul. As of this moment, the Liberal Party of Canada has no moral authority, no voice for the rational and reasonable majority of Canadians.
REASON 1,068 I SUPPORT THIS GUY Israel must be allowed to defend itself, says Ignatieff
I am ever more convinced that there must be every effort made to prevent Ignatieff from gaining high office. Canada needs an alternative to Steve Harper, not a cult of lacking personality clone. At this point, Canada has the best possible government of the moment given the state of leadership, a prorogued one. L'il Warren goes on to rail against any criticism of Israel and the policy of propping up the slaughter. Well if this is the future of the Liberals, Iggy with a choir consisting of Kinsella and Cherniak, I'll say no thanks.
No to Ignatieff. No to Harper. No difference.
As a Canadian, I solemnly declare that while I support the right of Israel to exist in peace, I do not support or condone arriving at that peace through the means they have chosen, by violence and crimes against humanity. Both Israel and Hamas must cease their violence and be held accountable for their crimes. In the interest of a lasting peace and co-existence, Israel must withdraw to their original borders. Israel must cease policies of collective punishments against the Palestinians. Peace is not the result of murder. The cycle of violence must stop somewhere and it will not stop with bloodthirsty applause from fools like Ignatieff and Harper or their teams of impotent sycophants.
The Prime Minister looked suitably embarrassed when he rose to answer the Liberal charges during Question Period, and not just because he dismissed the need to go into deficit as “stupid and dangerous” little more than a month ago.
WHITBY, Ontario (Reuters) - Canada will run a "substantial" budget deficit in the next fiscal year as it enacts stimulus measures to help shelter the economy from the effects of the global economic downturn, Finance Minister Jim Flaherty said on Thursday.
Ladies and gentlemen, your creme de la creme of conservative intellect. Let's give them a big hand.
WHEN TRULY STUPID PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHEN TO PUT A SOCK IN IT. Commenter "mrsocko" embarrasses his species thusly:
Maybe his opponent will challege the results. If Franken can obstruct the process for months why can't his opponent.
Um ... mrsocko? What part of "automatic recount" is giving you such trouble?
THE COLEMAN DOUCHEBAGGERY: Hey, kids, remember this?
"Yesterday the voters spoke. We prevailed," Coleman said Wednesday at a news conference. He noted Franken could opt to waive the recount.
"It's up to him whether such a step is worth the tax dollars it will take to conduct," Coleman said, telling reporters he would "step back" if he were in Franken's position.
Hey, how did that work out for you, Norm? Oh ... right:
Coleman Files Lawsuit to Contest Minnesota Senate Recount Results
The head of Minnesota's Canvassing Board says it properly counted the votes that gave Al Franken victory in the U.S. Senate race, but Norm Coleman filed a lawsuit Tuesday to dispute the tally of hundreds of absentee ballots.
In "breaking news," Canadian bloggy superstar, political analyst and ace pundit Stephen Taylor reports breathlessly on what everyone else is reporting, while demonstrating that he is incapable of spelling "eligible." Or "strike." That's why Stephen's a fellow at the Manning Centre for Building Democracy, and you're not.
What? It makes perfect sense after reading this (emphasis gleefully added):
Vice President Dick Cheney said Wednesday that his image has gotten a bad rap in the press and that he is in fact "a warm, lovable sort."
Cheney conceded in an interview with CBS radio that he sometimes expresses himself "rather forcefully toward some of my compatriots, like Pat Leahy from Vermont" but dismissed as a caricature the idea that he is a "Darth Vader-type personality."
"I think all of that’s been pretty dramatically overdone," the vice president said. "I’m actually a warm, lovable sort."
As God is my witness, I have no idea where to go next with this. Who knew Darth McShoot-him-in-the-face could give Patsy such a run for his money in the "divorced from reality" sweepstakes?
Now that I think about it ... who couldn't love this face? No, really.
And buried in the very last paragraph, tucked neatly out of sight, we learn:
Israel says it has killed at least 130 Hamas fighters. Ten Israelis have been killed during the offensive, including three civilians. Most of the seven dead Israeli soldiers were killed in so-called friendly fire.
Ah ... death by "friendly fire." So when the residents of Wankerville start shrieking about how Israeli soldiers have been killed, too, let's remember that it's mostly because they're shooting one another. I'm just sayin'.
Not to sound too bent out of shape, but I'm getting seriously tired of Israeli military commanders (or "war criminals" as I prefer to call them) dismissing the ongoing slaughter of the innocents of Gaza with, "We make every effort to avoid targeting civilians."
Well, that's nice, but why the fuck does it matter how hard you try? Are you supposed to get bonus points for trying not to kill Palestinian children while you continue to, you know, kill Palestinian children?
It would be like me continually racing through school zones at 110 km/h, trying very hard not to hit anyone but inevitably smearing some unfortunate 8-year-old, then defending myself by saying, "Hey, I was trying really, really hard not to kill anyone." I'm fairly sure that defense wouldn't fly as I'm being indicted for vehicular manslaughter.
So, please, no more fuckwit excuses as to how hard you're "trying" not to blow children into small chunks. If you lob large ordnance into populated areas, innocents are going to die and it really doesn't matter whether you meant to kill them or not -- they'll be just as dead, and it will be your fault.
As soon as the initial election results came in, showing that the race would be close enough to trigger the automatic recount mandated by Minnesota law, Coleman began campaigning to stop that normal and fair process. He claimed to be concerned about the cost of the recount and publicly asked Franken to "let the healing begin" by waiving the recount and conceding the election.
This is ugly, and it's going to stay ugly until some grownup in the GOP takes Coleman aside and tells him that he's just making the party look like a gang of whiny thugs and bullies, and would he please just fuck off and spend more time concentrating on his pending indictment.
Omar Khadr is said to be "Innocent" because nobody actually saw him kill a medic even though he was the only person alive after a fire fight with NATO forces in Afghanistan at a Al-Qaeda compound.
GUANTANAMO, Cuba–A U.S. military commander altered a report on a firefight in Afghanistan to cast blame for the death of a Delta Force commando on a Canadian youth who was captured after the shooting stopped, a defence lawyer said today...
The military commander’s official report the day after the raid originally said the assailant who threw the grenade was killed, which would rule out Khadr as the suspect.
The report was revised months later, under the same date, to say a U.S. fighter had only “engaged” the assailant, according to Kuebler, who said the later version was presented to him by prosecutors as an “updated” document.
Kuebler told reporters after the hearing that it appears “the government manufactured evidence to make it look like Omar was guilty.”
And this is why we mock them -- because they're ignorant dumbfucks. Did I mention being dumbfucks? Yeah, I'm sure I did.
Shorter Blogging Tory "Gay and Stupid" Fred: "So you invade an occupied territory with overwhelming military force and massacre hundreds of its inhabitants including women and children and some people get all hacked off about it. Talk about touchy."
A couple of years ago, after I had been following the controversy for several years, I found myself listening to a long lecture by a Darwinist, replete with bafflegab and pretty lame examples. Finally, sensing (correctly) that I was unconvinced, he proclaimed to me, "You just don't understand how natural selection works, do you?"
And suddenly, the penny dropped. What he meant was that I just don't believe in magic. I can't make myself believe in magic; I haven't been able to since I was a child.
That would be Canadian Intelligent Design wingnut and gibbering loon Denyse O'Leary -- devout God worshipper, self-proclaimed "Roman Catholic Christian" and believer in invisible sky monsters -- making it clear that she has no patience for "magic."
I think I just wet myself. Seriously. I just wet myself.
I JUST CAN'T RESIST: I know I shouldn't but I can't help pointing out Denyse's mind-numbing approach as to what magic she's prepared to swallow whole:
... consider the difference between being a Darwin popularizer and being a traditional Catholic. As a traditional Catholic, I am asked to believe in the Virgin Birth of Jesus Christ. But I am not asked to believe in virgin birth as a general proposition, and especially not for human males whose mothers' pregnancies could be readily - though not respectably - accounted for otherwise. In that one instance, I am told, I cannot argue that "God wouldn't have done it that way," as I have no basis for arguing with God about what he would or wouldn't have done as an intentionally unique, divinely ordained event.
In short, Denyse has no patience with this whole "born of a virgin" silliness. Well, except for that one time. But that's it.
I have to stop now. I can feel myself getting stupider for just having linked to her.
MY DEAR PHARYNGULOIDS: This might look familiar. Yeah, that Denyse O'Leary.
Shorter Blogging Tories co-founder Stephen Taylor: "I would like to give a big shout-out to Canada's championship junior hockey team by being a total, asinine political, weaselly buttfuck and colostomy bag. Because it's what I do best."
Now let's all watch as Canada's retarded wankers quote the WSJ but find it too much of an intellectual exercise to go any further than that. AND THE RULES, THEY ARE A CHAAAAAANGIN': You'll love this bit (emphasis towel-snappingly added):
The Coleman campaign's complaint shows that they intend to fight on: ... to contest the inclusion of those 930 absentee ballots that were counted this past weekend -- which their own campaign agreed to have counted under a careful bargain.
That's right -- having agreed to count 930 absentee ballots as part of a larger negotiation, Coleman's campaign now wants to make excluding those ballots part of the legal action. Even that paragon of journalistic objectivity, Fox News, understood that the Coleman campaign originally agreed to count those ballots:
Franken's lead now stands at 225 votes after gaining 176 votes more than Coleman in Saturday's review of the formerly sealed absentee ballots. Franken started the day with a 49-vote advantage.
The 933 absentee ballots were among those rejected by poll workers but later found to be excluded in error. The campaigns eventually agreed they should be added to the recount.
Seriously, it just doesn't get any funnier, does it?
Shorter Israeli military: "We can't stop yet; some of them are still moving."
P.S. I particularly like this part:
Some 15,000 Palestinians have packed the U.N.'s 23 Gaza schools because their homes were destroyed or to flee the violence. The U.N. provided the Israeli military with GPS coordinates for all of them.
Thanks, U.N. You have served your Jewish overlords well.
Why, yes, wankers, I would like your opinion of this:
An Ex-Detainee of the U.S. Describes a 6-Year Ordeal
LAHORE, Pakistan — When Muhammad Saad Iqbal arrived home here in August after more than six years in American custody, including five at the military prison at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, he had difficulty walking, his left ear was severely infected, and he was dependent on a cocktail of antibiotics and antidepressants.
In November, a Pakistani surgeon operated on his ear, physical therapists were working on lower back problems and a psychiatrist was trying to wean him off the drugs he carried around in a white, plastic shopping bag.
The maladies, said Mr. Iqbal, 31, a professional reader of the Koran, are the result of a gantlet of torture, imprisonment and interrogation for which his Washington lawyer plans to sue the United States government.
Sure, but it's not like those nasty, homicidal Islamorastafascists deserve any better, right? Um ... hang on ...
Mr. Iqbal was never convicted of any crime, or even charged with one. He was quietly released from Guantánamo with a routine explanation that he was no longer considered an enemy combatant, part of an effort by the Bush administration to reduce the prison’s population.
Stop by later when Canada's wankers want to make it clear that, well, life's tough and shit happens. Which is cool, as long as it happens to brown people.
PUBLIC SCRUTINY: Rules say he needs diploma for apprenticeship.
By WESLEY LOY wloy@adn.com Published: January 5th, 2009 11:06 PM Last Modified: January 5th, 2009 11:57 PM
Levi Johnston, the boyfriend of Gov. Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol, has quit his North Slope oil field job over questions about his eligibility to work in an electrical apprenticeship program, Johnston's father said Monday...
In a Sunday newspaper column, Anchorage radio talk show host Dan Fagan questioned how Johnston could take part in ASRC's apprenticeship program without a high school diploma.
Fagan said he understood federal regulations require all members of apprenticeship programs to have a diploma.
I could swear I made that very point way back when, perhaps as a comment on a post. Lord, but it's tough being right all the time. But it's a cross I'm willing to bear for you folks.
You're welcome.
P.S. Still waiting for that shotgun wedding. I'm sure my invitation was just lost in the mail. Yeah, I'm sure that's it.
AFTERSNERK: There is just so much delightful dumbfuckery in that article. I like this bit:
When Levi realized last year that he and the governor's daughter Bristol were going to be parents -- Bristol gave birth to a baby boy on Dec. 27 -- Keith Johnston said he counseled his son to start work on a GED and to apply for jobs.
Good thinking. I mean, once you become a daddy, I agree that graduating high school and finding work should move up your list of priorities. But, hey, that's just me.
Seriously, what's to debate? When one entertains the possibility of a "debate," one normally expects that both sides are going to come to the table with, you know, information. Or facts. Or logic. Or something like that. And what exactly would the anti-choice fetus fetishists be bringing to the table?
They don't like abortion.
Yeah, we get that. Honestly, we totally fucking get that. You dingbats have made that abundantly, adamantly, relentlessly, shriekingly clear for years. You hate abortion. Alright, already, we get it!! But that's not the basis for reopening the debate.
I mean, really, in the context of an actual debate, no one gives a shit how upset you are. That's just not relevant. If you have some new facts, then by all means, bring it on. New information? Let's hear it. But if all you have is more of the same pissing, moaning and whining, that's not a "debate." It's just you wanks wanting to keep bringing up the same issue over and over and over and over and over, until you get the result you want, at which point I'm guessing you'll suddenly decide that we don't really need to debate anymore. Do I have that about right?
So -- and I say this with all due respect -- fuck off with your ignorant, dishonest debate bullshit. We sane people have all the information we need, we have digested it and we have made our decision. We know what an abortion is. We know what it involves. We know what fetuses look like -- oh, dear God, we know what they look like since you wanks seem positively obsessed with posting pictures of them. So, really, we're pretty sure we have all the information we need to make up our minds.
Again, don't get me wrong -- if you really have new information that we should know, then bring it on down. But understand, once and for all -- whiny, sore loserism on your part does not represent an obligation for further debate on our part. That's not debate -- that's just you whining. And I'm fairly sure that doesn't constitute the basis for any more debate.
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing a black leather bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went.
My engaged friend: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.
The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.
Then I had to share my story: When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, 'What's for dinner, Batman?'
Apparently, it's all over, except for the inevitable, pathetic GOP snivelling, whining, pants-pissing, court challenge, possible filibuster and rancid hypocrisy.
Who could have guessed?
AFTERSNARK: I would agree with a number of pundits who suggest that, the instant Franken is certified as the winner, Reid should try to seat him and force the GOP to filibuster. Just to, you know, make it clear that, with the current economic meltdown, the GOP's priorities have nothing to do with the economy and everything to do with playing schoolground politics.
Like that would come as a huge surprise to anyone.
[Coleman] didnt want to count wrongfully rejected absentees, now he wants to count legally rejected absentees (but only from those districts that voted 65% for Coleman)... he flipped on how to count duplicates/originals when one was missing, now wants to go back (after Franken camp agreed to count the way Coleman wanted) but ONLY to back out those votes in heavily Dem areas...
Yeah, that sums it up as well as it can be summed up. What a douchebag.
Oh, this is just freakin' precious. After our very own Twatrick the Wonder Mullet got caught with his nads hanging out lying about, well, just about everything, KEvron popped by Twatsy's and left a perfectly civil comment, pointing out how I had spanked Twats good and proper a while back about it.
Just when you thought RedState’s Erick Erickson couldn’t possibly be any more pathetic, he reaches bottom and promptly begins to dig.
Erick Erickson, the editor of RedState, has just given us fodder to use for the rest of the year. In an attempt at being politically savvy--and by telling himself that what they do is somehow akin to being a "soldier" in a "war"--Erickson has decided that conservatives need to field-organize like progressives. And what better way to motivate the "troops" for activism than by inventing your own unit crest which, of course, replicates those worn by actual combatants in real wars?
The Harper government has not yet named the leader of a promised probe into the listeriosis outbreak that killed 20 people - a lag critics say discredits an already suspect process. […] Harper promised "an arm's-length investigation to make sure we get to the bottom, on the government side, on the bureaucratic side, of exactly what transpired and to make sure as we go forward and we make changes to our system that this kind of thing can't happen again."
An independent report was to be finished by March 15. With less than three months to go, a senior government source confirms there's still no lead investigator.
The delay raises fresh concerns among food-safety watchers, who doubt Conservative commitment to overhauling what they say is a chronically short-staffed inspection system.
Big Daddy’s New Newer Newest Government™, boys and girls, the home of Leadership! Accountability! Transparency! Fuck you!
P.S. Adscam. Boo.
P.P.S. The difference, for all of the precious cretins on teh Right, is that Martin actually called an investigation into Adscam -- Gomery Commission ringing any bells? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
I eagerly await Big Daddy's swift appointment of just such an arm's length investigation. You'll forgive me if I refrain from holding my breath while I'm doing it.
For reasons known only to them and their underpaid therapists, the folks at World o' Crap fill you in on everything you never wanted to know about Canadian wingnut and creepy stalker Rachel Marsden. Marsden is kind of our version of Ann Coulter, but without the dick or Adam's Apple.
For those of you lucky enough to have never encountered one Patrick "Twatsy" Ross and his hysterically infantile attempts at political punditry and rhetoric, let me take 2:36 and give you a hint as to what you're missing:
We're not cringing with you, Twatsy; we're cringing at you.
Don't quit your day job, Twats. Oh, wait, I forgot ... you don't have a day job. IT'S BECAUSE THEY LIE. ALL THE TIME. Yes, I know I should just throw a few more shovelfuls of dirt on Twatsy and move on, but Twats is such an absolutely perfect example of the unceasing, relentless dishonesty of the right-wing Canadian Dumbshit-o-sphere (*cough* Stephen Taylor *cough*) that it's only fair to give him one more boot to the nads.
Amy Klobuchar, Minnesota's other Senator -- and, naturally, a Democrat -- seems to think that whomever is ahead in the recount when Coleman's term expires should be seated in the Senate on a probationary basis while the recount is completed and while any further litigation works its way through the courts.
Really? Klobuchar suggested that? That Franken be seated "while the recount is completed?" That would be weird, and more than a little improper. Hey, I know ... let's go to the very article to which Twatrick links and see what it says. Oh, look (emphasis nad-hoofingly added):
Minnesota's other senator, Democrat Amy Klobuchar, has said the man with the most votes after the recount concludes should be seated while legal matters play out.
Wow. Klobuchar is actually suggesting something totally different. Which means that Twatsy is either breathtakingly stupid, or a worthless, lying cocksucker of a dishonest douchebag. Frankly, I'm good with either one of those.
Oh, and he condones the murder of abortion providers. I just thought you needed to know that. Again. THERE IS SO MUCH IRONY HERE. Back in November, on election night itself and with a ridiculously slim lead, Norm Coleman was all about the "healing" and "gracious concession" ... as long as it involved Al Franken doing all the conceding. Now, of course, with Franken hanging onto what looks like a razor-thin but final lead, Coleman and the GOP have gone batshit fucking insane and vindictive, threatening to bring the wrath of the heavens down on, well, pretty much everyone if they don't get their way.
I'd ask Twatsy what he thinks about that minor inconsistency, but he's probably out murdering abortion providers. Or something.
IT'S OVER and Franken won the recount, which means we can now look forward to the Minnesota GOP pissing and moaning and threatening and whining and suing. You know -- pretty much acting like Twatsy. It's what they do.
Well, that and murder abortion providers.
IT'S REALLY KINDA OVER, as Eric Kleefeld at TPM points out Franken's now "substantial" lead would withstand at least some of Coleman's pissy whining and infantile complaining. That's not to say that Coleman can't drag things out and waste everyone's time and money, only that there don't seem to be a lot of ways for him to reverse his fortunes at this point.
To no one's surprise, Twatsy Mullethead stops by and makes an ass of himself (all emphasis tail-waggingly added):
Yeah, and while we're at it, go ahead and excuse the "preemptive winnerism" of the Democrats on this one, considering that they're arguing that Franken should be allowed to sit in the Senate before the recount itself is even over.
Idiot.
Now let's re-examine the very first paragraph of the blog post to which I linked:
Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), who heads up the National Republican Senatorial Committee, has restated his position that the Senate Republicans will oppose seating Al Franken on a provisional basis during the expected litigation that will come after the Minnesota recount.
Dumb as a fucking box of hammers, our Twatsy. But, quickly now, before Twats realizes he's made a total prat of himself, feel free to predict how he's going to change the subject, move the goalposts or redefine the English language to claim that he's just won this one.
You know it's coming. It's what Twatsy does. AFTERSNARK: Just to make sure you truly appreciate what kind of dishonest turd Twatsy is, understand that no one is talking about trying to seat Franken pre-emptively, before the recount is over. In fact,
Franken holds a 49-vote lead over incumbant Republican Sen. Norm Coleman, pending the resolution of the absentee ballots. Franken's campaign has declined to say whether he would try to take his seat immediately if the canvassing board certifies him the winner.
Senate Democrats have not indicated what they would do if Franken's lead over Coleman holds up after the recount ends.
As even minimally literate people can see, neither Franken nor the Dems have announced what their plan will be even after the recount is over and Franken is certified as the winner. Such semantic subtleties are, of course, lost on Twatsy, who is one of the stupidest human beings ever. And who condones the murder of abortion providers.
That last part wasn't really related to this post, but I thought it was something you needed to know. OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! The twatitude just keeps rolling:
Not only would seating Franken before an official election result is determined be extremely undemocratic, but there would be little point to it.
Absolutely, Twatsy ... the thought of seating a U.S. Senator provisionally would be a horrific affront to democracy ... if there wasn't already precedent for it:
And finally, Cornyn alleges that it is "unprecedented" to seat someone while an election is still being disputed. As recently as 2007, Rep. Vern Buchanan (R-FL) was seated without prejudice by the majority-Democratic House while his election was being contested, and in 1997 the majority-Republican Senate provisionally seated Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA) after her GOP opponent alleged irregularities in her very narrow win.
What a fucking retard. What a worthless, abysmally stupid fucking retard. And that is why we mock them.
JESUS. MOTHERFUCKING. CHRIST. Please tell me that Twatsy's not suggesting what it looks like he's suggesting:
The Democrats couldn't even expect to enjoy their filibuster-proof senate -- something clearly on Klobucher's mind when she suggests that Franken be allowed to sit provisionally.
As even the stupidest political pundits have known for weeks (and as I pointed out in the comments -- thanks, KEvron), because of the results of the Georgia Senate race (in which R-Chambliss defeated D-Martin), the Dems lost their chance for a filibuster-proof Senate weeks ago.
Is it even physically possible for someone to be more deranged and deluded? Fucking hell, what an idiot.
BY THE WAY, for any new readers who have never had the pleasure, let me introduce you to Twatsy. Stunning, isn't it?
While you've always been worthy of nothing but mockery, this time you've proven beyond any shadow of a doubt that you are, in fact, a dangerously stupid individual.
So I’m calling it -- as of 2:16 pm on Friday, January 2, 2009, you officially became a parody of yourself, you misogynistic cretin.
It's been a while since we've checked in on Canadian Intelligent Design advocate and drooling wingnut Denyse O'Leary, so let's see what she's been up to lately. Here, she gushes over the Discovery Institute's Casey Luskin who, coincidentally, gets the absolute living shit kicked out of him here.
And as some bonus batshit wingnuttery at no extra charge, here's Denyse again:
Here's an interesting discussion, a friend tells me, of the Expelled movie.
I remember going to see Expelled in Toronto in June, I think, a biped lost in a huge, hostile crowd.
Hard for me to evaluate, because I had met so many of the people in the film - and had also found myself in correspondence with some of the most disgusting creeps imaginable, who hated the film.
I'm sorry, Denyse ... did you just write that it was hard for you to evaluate the film? How curious since, back in June of last year, you openly admitted that:
... the film badly needed an explanation of why there is an intelligent design controversy.
Yes, Denyse, it did ... because it was a grotesque piece of crap propaganda that didn't even attempt to address the science. So we'll understand if you'd rather change the subject these days and simply insult your fellow moviegoers.
Keep the coffee coming ... I had plans for lunch and sparkling conversation with the inimitable Dr. Dawg and deBeauxOs today. Instead, I have a car in the shop and a pile of documents to wade through before my business development meeting on Monday morning.
Needless to say, I'm in a bad mood so don't mess with me.
The hangovers have barely worn off and the stupid has already started. AH, THE DELIGHTFUL DOUCHEBAGGERY OF THE WANKERHOOD: What's particularly amusing is how, after being caught flat-out spewing bullshit, Red State's Erick Erickson launches into some truly world-class evasion and tap dancing:
[Red State's Ben Domenech] was tossed quickly after lefty outrage — and let’s be honest, it had more to do with the lefty outrage than later revelations. They weren’t going to stand by him the minute the phones started wringing.
"Lefty outrage?" Oh, right ... over the revelations that Domenech was a fucking thief. And how dare those uppity lefties get all bent out of shape over something so meaningless as journalistic plagiarism?
And as for Domenech getting "tossed quickly," well ... not so much (emphasis added):
An investigation into these allegations was ongoing, and in the interim, Domenech has resigned, effective immediately.
Oh ... he wasn't canned; he resigned. Not quite the same thing, is it, Erick? Putz.
Oh, by the way, Erick, it's "ringing," not "wringing." Idiot.
MOVE THOSE GOALPOSTS, BABY! MOVE THEM! I realize it's painfully self-evident, but you do of course appreciate how quickly Erick the Unprepared switches topics and hopes no one notices.
Washington Post hires left-wing blogger. I guarantee they wouldn’t hire someone from the right.
And after someone quietly points out that, yes, they did in fact do just that, Erick's outrage suddenly finds a new target:
[Domenech] was tossed quickly after lefty outrage — and let’s be honest, it had more to do with the lefty outrage than later revelations. They weren’t going to stand by him the minute the phones started wringing.
But Erick -- sweetie, boobie -- we weren't talking about how mean and nasty those lefties were after Ben was hired. We were discussing your original claim about how the WaPo would never, ever, ever hire a conservative blogger. And how you were dead wrong. And how what happened afterwards isn't really relevant to how you made an ass of yourself in public.
And that, kids, is why we don't engage them. We simply mock them.
Among Iraqis, there is no national consensus over whether the U.S-Iraqi security agreement signed last month that mandated the handover went far enough in asserting Iraqi sovereignty. For the Americans, there is doubt over whether the Iraqis are prepared to take control, as well as anxiety over the U.S. legacy in the country...
Iraqi and American officials announced Thursday that U.S. soldiers would continue to help maintain security in the area for at least the next 90 days despite the formal transfer of control. Then they will reevaluate the arrangement...
U.S. troops, who once controlled all the external checkpoints leading into the Green Zone, will work alongside Iraqi troops who are now supposed to be in charge of security, officials from both countries said. Ferrari said the Americans would focus mainly on providing support and training the Iraqis.
But officials acknowledged that precisely how the relationship will work remains uncertain. And though some officials suggested the Americans would be under the control of the Iraqis, others said that was unlikely for now.
"The Americans will supervise us," said Brig. Gen. Emad al-Zuhairi, commander of the Baghdad Brigade, the Iraqi military unit in charge of the Green Zone. "We hope this is just the first step."
In other words -- meet the new boss, pretty much the same as the old boss, a distinction I'm quite sure will be totally lost on members of the Canadian ya-ya wankerhood.
Fifteen years ago, philosopher James Q. Wilson proposed a provocative new take on abortion.
Following on the idea that "people treat as human that which appears to be human," he suggested in Commentary magazine that every woman seeking to abort her fetus be made to examine a photo depicting roughly what that fetus looks like on the day in question -- an image contained in a catalogue retained for this purpose: "266 photographs in all," Wilson specified, "one for each day of embryonic or fetal development."
No, no, wait ... I know what you're thinking and it almost certainly involves Kay's nads and a gas-powered landscaping appliance, but I think it's time to take Kay up on his offer so, on behalf of Canada's pro-choice defenders, I'm willing to make Kay the following deal: If Canada's women agree to the condition he describes above, then Kay and the rest of Canada's fetus fetishists will drop all objections to abortion. Period. End of story.
After all, what could be more reasonable? If Kay wants to force pregnant women to look at photos of fetuses, after which they decide to continue with the abortion anyway, what right does he have to continue to protest?
Kay wants to rub womens' faces in the consequences of their actions. And while I'm sure women have no interest in Kay's nanny state politics, I think those women should seriously consider what I'm proposing, so I'm going to explain it one more time:
If women in Canada agree to examine a picture of an appropriate fetus before having an abortion, then Kay and all of Canada's anti-choicers agree to drop their objections and never raise a voice against abortion. Ever again. Because if they can't agree to that, then they're just being sore losers, and Kay's proposal means sweet fuck-all.
So, Jonathan, how about it? You up for that? SUZANNE? JoJo? The rest of the Canadian wingnut contingent? Do we have a deal? Hmmmmmmm?
Shorter Clown Hall columnist Dennis Prager: It's time for Part II, wherein I oh-so-helpfully give you several reasons why a real woman should get busy with her husband even if she’s not "in the mood" (yes, I’m making air quotes while I type this). I'll just sum up Reasons 1 through 8 to save everyone time: Because he wants it -- so shut up, lie back and pretend to enjoy it.
Conservative MP and current Exalted Grand Wizard of the Ultra-super-duper, totally top secret Parliamentary Pro-Life Caucus (or "NAMBLA") Rod Bruinooge is all about the fetuses:
In Canada in 2008, our citizens have no legal value while in the wombs of their mothers.
No, no, no, that doesn't read quite right. Here, let me help:
In Canada in 2008, our citizens have no legal value while in the wombs of their mothers being brown and incarcerated in other countries.
Yeah, that reads so much better, wouldn't you say? NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, I'm fascinated by the citizenship implications of Bruinooge's "logic." Is Bruinooge suggesting that fetuses are technically "citizens?" Because if he is, things get really, really interesting.
It's generally accepted that anyone born in Canada is a Canadian "citizen." But if Bruinooge wants to extend "citizenship" to fetuses, that would suggest that anyone who is conceived in Canada is, by logical extension, also a citizen. And wouldn't that make illegal immigration and deportation so much more amusing, as anyone caught illegally in Canada and facing deportation would simply have to, on short notice, get knocked up while still on Canadian soil, at which point -- nine months later -- they would merely have to establish a timeline to retroactively claim Canadian citizenship for the newborn.
Come on, Rod, tell me that's what you're suggesting -- tell me you actually want to grant the status of citizenship at the moment of conception. The legal implications would be just too much fun for words.
To absolutely no one's surprise, Canada's Pathologicalest Blogger rings in the new year pretty much the same way she ushered out the old -- with wankery bullshit. Atta girl, Kate -- that's why your fans love you.
LuLu's head is broken -- I just thought you all needed to know that.
And furthermore ... as much as it might pain me to admit it, my mother really is right about everything. After an hour of pilates and yoga, I feel almost human again even if my feet may never be the same. Several hours of booty-shaking in my brand new shoes was not the smartest thing I could've done.
