When it comes to Delisle, I'm guessing it's just something in the water.

Once again, Canada's Most Squealingest Bestest Blogger plants both feet firmly where you can normally find Stephen Harper's dick:

You Could See This Coming From A Mile Off

And I'm kicking myself for not putting my prediction to a post a few days ago, when I mentioned it to someone privately.

Sarah Palin - "extremist".
...
Posted by Kate

Yeah ... Sarah Palin: "extremist." Where the fuck do people get the nerve? Oh ...

You know, that's the great thing about being a Blogging Tory: Being bone-stick-stone stupid doesn't mess up your career options like it would for normal people.

They have running water, too, Paul. Go figure.

Blogging Tory Paul MacPhail is shocked -- shocked, I say -- that those Stone Age towelheads can handle high technology:

The Question That Should Have Been Asked

If you get a chance, watch the following segment on CBC's The National tonight.

AFGHAN CIVILIANS:According to a humanitarian watchdog--Human Rights Watch--more civilian deaths in Afghanistan from air strikes are fueling a public backlash in that country. A report released today says U.S. and NATO air strikes killed 116 civilians in 2006; in 2007, that number jumped to 321. The CBC's Alison Smith reports from Washington.

I just watched the early airing. Not a pretty sight. Claims by the CBC of 90 Afghan women and children killed by American airstrikes. All caught on camera by an Afghani cellphone.

Question: Why does a poor Afghani, living in a remote region where there is no cellphone service, barely (if any) electricity to recharge a cellphone, and where the simplest of neccessities such as food are treasured, have a cellphone?

Damned right, Paul. After all, it's not as if those savages have any sort of technological infrastructure:

During that year, the number of cell phone companies in the Afghanistan increased from two to four, and the country now boasts 20 internet service providers ...

Or that there might be a good reason for cell phones to be so popular:

War in Afghanistan has ravaged the landline phone system so most communications are performed over wireless.

And it's not like cell phones are all that popular, anyway, right, Paul?

Afghanistan gets some 150,000 new cell phone subscribers each month and there is "no end in sight" to expansion in the sector, the country's communications minister said...

Coverage is generally available in all the country's 34 provinces.

As a Blogging Tory, Paul isn't really racist. He just can't quite figure out how those ragheads can handle fancy things like cell phones. 'Cuz those things are fer white folks, right, Paul?

P.S. Oh, and Paul? About that lack of electricity to recharge those phones? Apparently, some of those uncivilized darkies have a handle on the situation. Just so you know.

If the irony were any thicker ...

... I could snap off a piece and club Patrick Ross senseless with it:



Why, yes, that would be racist, white supremacist and Nazi sympathizer (and Canada's Absolutely Gosh Most Bestest Blogger) Kate McMillan ... accusing someone else of bigotry.

Just revel in it. It is delightful, isn't it?

P.S. I'm guessing that the Katester has long since forgotten that the CBC once had the lack of sentience to give her a platform. And I'm guessing that, every so often, an unnamed Ceeb exec still wakes up in a cold sweat, screaming, "Holy fuck, what was I thinking!?"

Please do not adjust your set.

I don't know what was causing it, but that last post by PSA was wreaking havoc with older versions of IE, so I took it down temporarily until this is resolved.

We now return you to your regularly-scheduled mocking of heinous CPoC dumbfuckery.

Liberian Ad and Other Bullshit

Seems the Lying Ratfuck Party doesn't give an option to embed their ads. So I had to go and find one of these turds on yootoob...



You know, family is important and that's why Steve sits alone in his sweater vest wringing his hands, looking hungry and just a little special needy. Now that we've all seen Stevie Large in his back to school wardrobe, what have our friends over at the Adscam Party got for us?

(Imagine a big black rectangle here, the original big black rectangle has been removed to assuage those that employ even more inferior software than the Liberals.)

Over at Red Tory's place, he's saying that the Adscam Party ad can't be embedded in Word Press. Well, that's a clever move, inter-operability is so over rated. The ad's all so heart tuggingly vague, and doesn't Rick Moranis look like he's aging gracefully. What? Dion who? Didn't he play for the Red Wings?

Whatever. Anyway, the Dirty Commies and Mullah Layton aren't to be ignored. They have their new ad ready to go as well. Oh and again, I had to go find a yootoob copy as the embedding option wasn't, yay webmasters.



The Anarchist Hippy Party under Elizabeth May don't have a "campaign ad" since they're all floating around the inter tubes on a photonic ship of wonder, waving their "Save the Pixels" rainbow coloured flags and what not. They do, however, have a hand-me-down Member of Parliament! So they are only outnumbered by independents by a factor of three or four to one.

Meanwhile over in the mountains of Frenchsylvania, the Bloc have the entirety of their web presence posted in Foreign. I found some videos but nothing that looked like an ad and none that had an embedding option. On the other hand, they do have a bitchin' campaign song that isn't a borrowed retread from some lame 70s band. So suck it losers.

UPDATE:

Seems the witless twats at the Adscam Party headquarters have posted their ad in a flash format that won't embed in Blogger either. So you can phone Jason Cherniak at home and he will pantomime the ad for you and hum the theme music in English and Foreign. In the mean time, please enjoy the black rectangle above, brought to you by Marcel Dion. Idiots.

UPDATERER: I broke down and went for a snoop through yootoob and no luck, couldn't find the Adscam Party ad so you'll have to suffice with the black rectangle. I did however come across this disturbing bit of video where the entire Adscam caucus tries to frighten endangered animals by clapping as loudly and stiltedly as possible (kiss my adverbs bitches).

You keep using that word "sportsman" ...

... I do not think it means what you think it means.

P.S. If only those wolves were black and lived near Jane and Finch, Blogging Tory "Neo Conservative" would be absolutely creaming himself in his David Duke Underoos.

Just so you know ...

Shorter Stephen Harper: "While I am such an unspeakably whiny, pathetic, snivelling, pants-pissing coward that I am unable to handle the simple give-and-take of Canadian politics and the normal criticism of my political opponents and have to call a snap election to run mewling and whimpering away from it all, I am also the only leader brave and he-man enough to protect you all from the terror of the evil, brown-skinned Islamojihadifarians."

I just thought it needed to be said.

Did you know the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary?

Blogging Tory and nursing home crank Papa Junker can't wait to tout the latest exciting blurb from right-wing milblogger Michael Yon:

Michael Yon: Canadians in Secret Mission

Michael Yon:

The mission was a brilliant success against substantial odds. The British press was justifiably proud of what has been called their largest logistics operation since World War II. These are precisely the sort of large-scale civil affairs/information operations, backed up with military strength and tactical ingenuity, that are required to turn this war around.

So ... um ... we won ... but actually we're just winning ... then again, we're really, really close to finally turning this thing around. I'd swear that's actually going backwards, but maybe that's just me.

Besides, if you can't believe Michael Yon, well, that just means you're not an imbecile.

P.S. You'll notice that the links to Yon's original reporting and his subsequent lame defense have disappeared down the memory hole. How utterly right-wing. How utterly unsurprising.

And we’re off to a glorious start.

Never let it be said that Big Daddy can’t (or won’t) take the high road when the option is presented to him.

Asked whether he saw his chief rival as a family man, he said: "I don't know Stephane Dion all that well. I presume that he's been married a long time, has children. I presume he's a family man also."

Dion has a wife and daughter.

Stay classy, Big Daddy — stay classy.

H/T to Impolitical who has so much more to say. Go. Read.

Yes, now.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

The Palin clan -- the gift that keeps on giving.

(Wag of the tail to earlier commenter Shannon.)

AND IN CONCLUSION, I'm not sure I can even keep up with the savage, unadulterated dysfunction of the Palin clan, what with:

• Mama Palin, who is hideously irresponsible when it comes to her pregnancy,


• the trampy, teenaged and pregnant Bristol,


• the future Mr. Bristol Palin and self-described "fuckin redneck" Levi Johnston,


• the aforementioned Track and his legal problems, and


• back to Mama Palin and her possible infidelity.

Really, can it possibly get any funnier?

Cognitive dissonance, dumbass Republican style.

On the one hand, GOP vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin is such a kick-ass, in-your-face, tough-as-nails firebrand that she's known as "The Barracuda."

On the other hand, curiously, she's a snivelling, whiny, gutless coward.

Go figure.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled ass-kicking ...

... For a brief moment of brevity levity (more coffee, please).



Now back to work — there are Big Daddy-humping Blogging Tories to mock.

For those of you who need more right-wing nonsense in your life.

Take a few minutes for a trip down memory lane, where the honourable Rob Nicholson waxes rhapsodic regarding the delightful benefits to Canadian democracy of "fixed" election dates, never once letting on that he's bullshitting you the entire time.

In retrospect, it's quite the performance, isn't it? Who knew he had his fingers crossed?

Profiles in Distortion.

Big Daddy, defender of civility and the painfully deluded, sets the stage (emphasis gleefully added).

"I anticipate a very nasty, personal attack campaign," he said in an interview with CTV. "That's what the opposition's done in the past.

"Whether Canadians agree with what we're doing or not, I don't think they're going to believe the kind of personal attacks and scare tactics we've seen in the past."

I’m sure he couldn’t possibly mean the types of personal attacks that he and his merry band of double-dealing, security-breaching, in-and-out fuckwits have indulged in since forming their oh-so-dysfunctional government, could he?

We report, you decide.

Sunday Morning Coming Down

Loyola Hearn is quitting before getting beaten. Unlike a Spartan he will not return home carried on his shield but hiding beneath it. As his mediocre life as a public servant ends, he has chosen the whimper rather than the bang. And what a whimper it is...

"If I were running, there would be people campaigning against me because they were told to do it," he said. "That's dictatorship."

Aw, poor little Loyola. Danny Williams, one of this nation's actual, remaining Tories, has put the fear into Hearn. Loyola is among the spineless creatures who, under the unprincipled Peter MacKay, sold the Tory brand to the Reform/Alliance. Williams is no friend of the Conservative Reform Alliance Party as led by Steve Harper. Hearn's whining is all the more comical coming from one of Harper's whipped poodles. The Harper cult of personality has demanded absolute control of message in federal politics, firing and suing opponents within the government and opposition ranks. Hell, Harper even finagled a vote declaring a lack of confidence in Elections Canada for daring to deny him a free pass to game the system and scam $1.3 million dollars in advertising in the In 'n' Out scandal.

Williams has promised to mount an Anything But Conservatives (ABC) campaign over his long-standing public feud with Harper.

"The people of Canada can't trust (Harper), the integrity isn't there," Williams said in a press conference Friday.

Big Steve has been busily trying to re-brand himself as the kinder, gentler autocrat and has allowed that this will likely be a mean spirited campaign.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper says he's anticipating a "very nasty" campaign from the opposition parties, in an exclusive interview with CTV News.

This, after hundreds of thousands of 10% fliers attacking the integrity and leadership of Dion and the other opposition leaders, the Conservative's own website until recently was littered with an unflattering graphic of a shrugging Dion, impugning his leadership, motives, agenda and policies. Suddenly the Con's website is all sweater vests and decorum. The Cons and their camp followers are still trying to eke as much mileage as they can out of the dusty echoes of Adscam. The Liberal scandal, that resonated with voters in the last election, is now three governments old. Yet one need not look too far to hear the cries of Liberal corruption and the blighted 13 years of their reign that saw the nation beset by balanced books, a strong economy and economic surpluses, all of which have withered under Harper's rule.

So now Steve has his election. After endless attempts to secure a vote during the last session, he has chosen the unusual path of quitting his government while parliament is not in session, declaring it dysfunctional, regardless of the actual legislative record.

"The Opposition doesn't want to support the government any longer for anything," he said. "The government doesn't want to change direction ... You know, everybody around Ottawa knows this Parliament has reached its useful end."

Flying in the face of his own fixed term law, without losing a confidence vote, Mr Harper has decided to act as not only Prime Minister but to usurp the voices, votes and opinions of the opposition. He's picked up his ball and he's going home, after having stopped off at the GG's house first, that is.

So, to the polls we will go. For the record, there is no federal party that inspires confidence in me. This is a lesser of evils vote as far as I'm concerned. And Stephen Harper is not the least evil of the bunch by a long shot. His wafer thin team has proven utterly hapless. Tony Clement most recently off on a fiddling trip as listeriosis burned down 13 lives. Helena Guergis... well enough said. Maxime Bernier, our own little document losing, biker babe banging, security breaching international embarrassment. Bev Oda the ride around lady with a taste for limousines and media lobbyist dollars. Weepy Pete MacKay off on another east coast spending trip, disposing of more of our millions. And the list goes on with such luminaries as Gary Goodyear who never saw a committee he couldn't obstruct, Rob Anders who looked so much more authentic when he was wearing his prosthetic Pinnocchio snoot as a paid heckler for the Republicans or Mr Angry Baird whose volume goes to eleven, all noise, no signal. Now, with the somewhat less inept Hearn running for the hills before Danny Williams paves him and Emerson deciding to beat the voters in his riding to the punch by quitting, there isn't much to look at in the Harper caucus. There is no depth of experience or wisdom.

North American politics at this juncture in history, a time that cries out for capable leadership, is sadly lacking. With the world embroiled in mindless violence, we seem to have little to chose from other than social conservatives, theocrats, ideologues and empty suits. This election is not going to improve our situation, though it will help Mr Harper hide from the tide of scandal that is rolling his way. The age of statesmen is behind us. The writ has dropped, may the least venomous idiot win.

Dear Michaëlle Jean:

Fuck you. Seriously.

You keep using that word "uncertainty" ...

... I do not think it means what you think it means:

Prime Minister Stephen Harper pulled the plug on his own minority government on Sunday, setting off a national election campaign that will send voters to the polls on Oct. 14.

He said the campaign comes at "a time of global economic trouble" and voters will have the opportunity to choose in the campaign "between a clear direction or uncertainty."

Quite right because, more than anything, we Canadians need some "certainty" in our lives. You know, the kind of "certainty" we all assumed we had back here:

The Senate has passed a bill that will require federal elections to be held every four years.

The proposed legislation, Bill C-16, which is scheduled to receive royal assent on Thursday, would mean Oct. 19, 2009, is the date of the next general election.

After the bill is proclaimed into law, opposition parties will still have the power to force an election earlier than the fixed date if a minority government is defeated in a confidence vote.

Once the bill becomes law, Prime Minister Stephen Harper will not be able to call an election on his own.

Well, Stephen certainly suckered us all on that one, didn't he? And that's for sure.

It's on ...

The Governor-General has agreed to Big Daddy's potentially illegal election.

Now imagine how much fun it would've been if she hadn't. Can't you just picture Big Daddy stamping his pudgy little feet on the steps of Rideau Hall and saying "But I can too have an election! I can, I can, I caaannnnn!!111!1!"

LuLuSnark ... I really should've used the title "It's Yawn" to highlight how completely underwhelmed I am by Big Daddy's imaginary line in the sand reasoning.

Yeah, Katie, about that lede ...

The National Post's Katie Rook doesn't waste any time getting into the hideous gorge-rising:

Sarah Palin is a working mother who does it all.

Well, OK, maybe not "all" if, by "all," you mean keeping her teenaged daughter from getting knocked up by a self-described "fuckin' redneck."

But other than that ...

Woulda, coulda, shoulda, whatever.

Over here, Chester takes the high road in terms of journalistic accuracy:

[Update: Dr. Dawg (and others) have made the point that this isn't really confirmed enough to pass on. I'll leave it up, but under erasure. If it turns out to be false, I'll pass that along too.]

Frankly, I'm not sure why Chester's so worried about this when the commenters at SDA are more than happy to show us how it works:

Jeremiah:

Whether or not the story was false or not, the fact remains that Jews are targeted by the Iranian government as enemies. One need only to review the rantings of that President of theirs to confirm the government's intention. The fact that he has stated in public on many occasions that Israel should be "removed from the face of the earth" is more than telling.

Yes, the general line of thinking here is definitely biased. Biased in favor of human rights,dignity and truth. Your specious comments would be amusing, if it were not for the Jews that are being persecuted by you and your fellow travelers. If the comments on this blog cause you to think they are biased, then you are absolutly correct. Biased in the way of truth, justice and decency toward all mankind.

Posted by: Rattfuc at April 23, 2007 5:59 PM

In other words, it's not really important that the Iranian government never actually passed a law to make Jews wear identifying badges. What's important is that they could have. Just as it's not relevant whether Sarah Palin referred to Barack Obama as "Sambo." So what if she didn't? She could have. And that's all that matters.

Just ask Rattfuc.

Jesus, Mary, Mother of God!

What kind of heinous fuckery is this? And the rationale?

YOUR GATEWAY TO ALL THINGS CONSERVATIVE IN CANADA

And the first "Conservative" thing in national headlines this morning?

Bodies of three soldiers back in Canada
Some Canadian families were crying tears of joy Saturday as they welcomed home soldiers returning from Afghanistan.

Apparently, the deaths of Canada's soldiers is exclusively a "Conservative" "thing." Might as well be -- they're responsible for them.

When conservative commenters comment.

Just in case you needed a refresher ...



I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

when (sic) retarded blogging (sic) tories (sic) blog.

I'm assuming this is what passes for devastating wit at "Trusty Tory's":

“Pretty Shaved Ape (September 6, 2008 at 8:02pm) - if canada (sic) elects a harper (sic) majority and if america (sic) elects mccain (sic) and whatsername (sic), then the voters will get just what they deserve, a good, guilty f–ing.”

Yes, TT, that's very clever of you. I'll bet that kind of obnoxious, pedantic nitpickery is just the kind of thing that helps you score with your 13-year-old cousin at the annual TT pig pickin' and family reunion out there in East Hooterville.

TT's motto: "Popularity’s bad for you. I avoid it like the plague." I'm guessing TT thinks intelligence is bad for you, too. But that's just a guess.

Hearts and minds, baby, hearts and minds.

Although it's admittedly a bit tougher after you've just blown their hearts and minds all over the upholstery with a 25mm cannon round. That tends to make the natives a mite edgy.

P.S. Yes, it's a bit dated, but I somehow managed to miss it at the time. Just some light filler for a Saturday evening.

Best not to think about it -- it'll just depress you.

See, there's this (emphasis added):

MacKay also previewed a list of mission benchmarks the federal government plans to release in August to help Canadians measure the success of the [Afghanistan] mission.

In addition to military benchmarks, the list will include a major dam-building project, the construction of schools and efforts to eradicate polio with medical supplies and immunizations, MacKay said.

And there's this:

Fiscally conservative at $3.9-million an hour

"From June 2nd to September 4th, the Canadian Taxpayers Federation (CTF) tracked 293 pre-election spending announcements totaling $8.8-billion made by Stephen Harper’s Conservative government. That is roughly $94-million a day or about $3.9-million every hour."

Which makes this ever so puzzling. Perhaps if the Attawapiskat started growing opium and threatened to invade Canada, the Conservatives would buy them a school, too.

It's just a thought.

Oh my indeed ...

Go. Read.

H/T to TBogg.

Imitation really is the most sincere form of flattery.

Dear Junior:

The Republicans called — they want their fearmongering election platform back.

Yours in endlessly superior amusement and disdain,
LuLu

P.S. Here's a quarter ... perhaps you and the rest of Big Daddy's double-dealing, security-breaching, in-and-out fuckwits could buy an original thought.

UM ... NO. CC here, and I am going to exercise my Godly bloggy prerogative to suggest that LuLu has totally missed a critical point here.

Unlike the Republicans, MacKay is not suggesting that bad, terrorist-related things might happen if Canadians vote for the opposition. No, what MacKay is suggesting is something quite different (emphasis added):

MacKay hopes election won't fuel Taliban

Defence Minister Peter MacKay says he hopes the Taliban doesn't use a federal election campaign to step up attacks on Canadian Forces in southern Afghanistan...

“I sure hope not,” he said. “All I can tell you is the challenge is there, it's real. We've seen the tactics of the Taliban. ... Their tactics know no bounds, know no rules of engagement.”

As you can clearly read, MacKay is pondering whether or not the Taliban will step up their attacks on Canadian troops simply because of the upcoming election, to which he openly admits that he has no idea but, hey, it wouldn't surprise him.

In other words (and please try to follow this next step because it's kinda important), Canada's own Minister of National Defence has no idea if a federal election will result in more dead Canadian soldiers but that's a chance he's willing to take.

Did I get that about right?

CC here again, and commenter Ti-Guy makes an excellent point:

... if our own Minister of Defence believes this is a risk, the GG should have no other option than to deny the PM's illegal request for dissolution. She's the Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces after all and if an election, particularly a useless, entirely political one such as this, has the potential of putting more of our brave soldiers at risk, it's simply not worth it.

Well put.

Winnipeg in November -- you know it's coming.

And for those of you who weren't accepted as accredited bloggers to the Stephen Harper wankfest and circle jerk this fall in Winnipeg, well, you won't be missing anything.

Saturday Morning Cartoons.

I’m-a sailin’ with the tide or my name ain’t Shanghai Sam ... and it is.



P.S. I was supposed to go to my hairapist this morning but she squeezed me in last night after work. I'm quite pleased with the new result ... now if only it would stop raining.

Sexism, as it be practised.

Making any sort of criticism of GOP vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, even when it's totally unrelated to her gender? Disgusting, hypocritical and outrageously sexist, of course.

Publicly opining that you'd kinda like to bend her over the kitchen table and go to town? Not so much, apparently.

I swear, I'm never going to figure out how to play this game.

Dear Twatsy: You might want to pay attention to this one.

Fresh out of the CC HQ mailbox:


Obviously, I've removed anything that would identify the writer, but I will tell you all this much:

• The writer's name appeared in only two posts quite some time ago, and


• He was not being denigrated, the CC posts were actually supporting his position.

Despite that, the writer reasonably understands that being involved even tangentially in a blog spat might not come off well and might hurt his career opportunities, so he'd rather not have his name show up at all, and I can appreciate that.

Which brings us, naturally, to one Patrick Ross, he of the so aptly-named blog "Nexus of Assholery", an unreadable bit of retardedness, and whose Myspace page reads:

What's up, everyone? My name is Patrick Ross. I am the self-proclaimed baddest man on the planet. What makes you so bad, you may ask? The answer is simple. I am an asshole, and I am proud of it.

And yet, curiously, Twatrick doesn't think this is going to hurt his employment prospects. Not even a little. In fact, Twatsy thinks it's an absolute screaming hoot when anyone even hints that he might be committing suicide, career-wise, when a Google search on him turns up the aforementioned Myspace page as hit number one. But, alas and alack, none of this appears to concern Twatsy, who soldiers on blissfully in his academic cocoon, insulting everyone who tries to warn him about what kind of utter dumbass he's being, and having no clue as to what's going to happen when boy finally meets world.

It really is going to be an enlightening experience. I only wish I could be there to watch.

Things that only some people care about.

In climate change-related news:

Huge ice shelf breaks loose in Canadian arctic

'Shocking event' another sign of warming in polar frontier, scientists say

TORONTO - A chunk of ice shelf nearly the size of Manhattan has broken away from Ellesmere Island in Canada's northern Arctic, another dramatic indication of how warmer temperatures are changing the polar frontier, scientists said Wednesday.

Derek Mueller, an Arctic ice shelf specialist at Trent University in Ontario, told The Associated Press that the 4,500-year-old Markham Ice Shelf separated in early August and the 19-square-mile shelf is now adrift in the Arctic Ocean.

In Blogging Tory news, it's going to be cool this weekend; therefore, global warming is a myth.

You only wish I was kidding.

"Excuse me ... I'm trying to talk up here."

Shorter federal Health Minister Tony Clement: "If you folks are quite finished dying, I'd really like some uninterrupted media attention for a couple minutes, thank you very much."

I can name that tune in three notes.

Over at Kate McMillan's Down Home Tacky Airbrush Cafe and White Peoples' Country Kitchen, we have a guest blogger who goes by the handle of "Captain":


Whereupon, if we follow said link, we arrive here:

Terrorists and Leftists Have Something in Common

at which point the author methodically and painstakingly, um, well, makes a complete, total and predictable ass of himself.

But that looks like such fun, I might have a go at it myself. Um ... Blogging Tories and Jew-hating Nazi sympathizers who think the Holocaust was a knee-slapping hoot and should be exploited for political purposes have something in common.

There you go.

Here at CC HQ, we're all about the brevity.

Stealth Ukelele!

Try this one on for size...

Ska!

Blame it on boingboing

Just go already.

Hell hath no fury like a Reformatory mouthbreather scorned.

Federal Fisheries Minister Loyola Hearn may be leaving politics, but he's not going quietly. The outspoken Newfoundland politician has confirmed he won't reoffer once the election is called, likely this weekend.

As he heads for the door Hearn isn't mincing words about the provincial government of Premier Danny Williams who has vowed to campaign against his federal Conservative counterparts for breaking promises regarding federal funding.

Hearn charges the province is living in a dictatorship, and that collectively the provincial cabinet doesn't have the "guts of a caplin" for kowtowing to the premier. Hearn calls Williams "Anything But Conservative" campaign, terrible but serious stuff. He says he's been told potential candidates have actually been threatened.

And if anybody would know about dictatorships and threats, it would probably be a member of Big Daddy’s circle.

What? I’m just sayin’ ...

Heh.

Indeed.

Um ... hyperbolize much?

Yeesh. And those internment, re-education camps I mentioned once? I wasn't kidding.

"Shockingly bad."

Oh, look ... an interesting moment of lucidity from CNN:



And that bit about John McCain's "personal story?" Apparently, John McCain was once a POW! Did you know that? I never knew that! Because, allegedly, John McCain never talks about that.

Well, OK, maybe only on national television at the Republican convention. But that's different.

MORE MOMENTS OF LUCIDITY: Even former Bush speechwriter Michael Gerson panned McCain's speech:



but you can always get some entertainment value in seeing just how far over members of Canada's Blogging Tories will bend over and lube up when called upon. Oh, look, here's Prairie Tory:

Bill Kristol on The Speech.

I think Bill got it right here. This was a great speech, and the appointment of Sarah Palin (so far at least *cross my fingers*) is proving to be a great move.

And fawning, reach-around sycophancy wouldn't be complete without the tail-waggingly obedient, Astroglide-inspired stenography of Jonathan Strong, who insists on reminding everyone of ...:

[McCain] was rudely interrupted by a few code-pink nut jobs who couldn't show a war hero the respect he's earned from 5 years in a POW camp in North Vietnam, but they were drowned out by the patriotism of the crowd.

Wow. McCain was a POW? I didn't know that. Did you know that? I never knew that. Thanks, Jonathan.

Meanwhile Back On Earth

Undistracted by all of the hoopla surrounding the ever so qualified nominees for America's highest offices, Halliburton's evil gnomes are hard at work.

U.S. commandos attacked an al Qaeda target in Pakistan this week in an operation that could signal more intense American efforts to thwart militant attacks in Afghanistan, U.S. officials said on Thursday.

Not that I would doubt the veracity of the claims of U.S. officials, seeing as how they've been right so often and told the truth so routinely and all. But what in the fuck is this all about? Suddenly America's permanent war has hopped the border and rained expensive death on the Pakistan side of the frontier. Can anyone say Cambodia? It does not matter if they are indeed popping their bombs on Al Qaeda bases and let's face it, we have only their word that that is what they hit. Hell, they blew the shit out of dozens of women and children, called them insurgents and pretended nothing was wrong and that was in an area that they can freely (barring, you know, armed objections from the locals) move about and verify.

The Pakistani government is justifiably furious. It occurs to me that after bungling, mismanaging and all around screwing up the entirety of this so called war on terror, that the stakes just got a lot more serious. Pakistan is not a little tiny place without military resources. Pakistan is a nuclear power and just who has been wheeling and dealing with the now ousted President General Pervaiz Musharif?

Pakistan was a major recipient of American arms sales in 2006, including the $1.4 billion purchase of 36 new F-16C/D fighter aircraft and $640 million in missiles and bombs. The deal included a package for $890 million in upgrades for Pakistan’s older versions of the F-16.

At the same time, the State Department’s own survey of global human rights in 2006 noted a variety of shortcomings in Pakistan’s record on human rights and democratization.

But the Bush administration has argued that it is important to maintain the support of a nuclear-armed Pakistan in the broader counterterrorism fight, in particular as Al Qaeda and Taliban leaders regroup in the rugged North-West Frontier Province along the Afghan border.

This isn't like Iraq, one of America's former arms buying pals. Pakistan has a population of over 170 million people and in 2006 alone they spent over $5 billion on armaments. Remember those hearts and minds that the lying liars prated about winning. I guess that's no longer operative. Not that America was popular in the region before but they just made armed incursions into the sovereign territory of a very big, well armed Muslim nation. I do believe that could be construed as an act of war.

According to the Reuters piece, the brave desk jockeys at the Pentagon are stroking off to their own mighty tune.

"We are going to pursue terrorists wherever they operate, plan their operations, try to seek safe harbor," said Pentagon spokesman Bryan Whitman.

So that would be a declaration of what, that America is now officially a rogue state? Fuck your sovereignty, borders... I don't see no borders.

The United States and other allies are increasingly concerned about Pakistan's stability. On Wednesday, the Pakistani Taliban claimed responsibility for an unsuccessful assassination attempt on Prime Minister Yousaf Raza Gilani.

And how does one shore up stability in this age of detonation diplomacy? Well nothing says we're thinking of you quite like a commando raid and missile attacks by a red, white and blue drone. Those mangled bodies, militant and otherwise, think nothing of them.

But Thomas Fingar, U.S. deputy director of national intelligence, said Pakistan had limited abilities to fight militants on its own and that political sensitivities hurt its willingness to act.

"Pakistan is inherently unstable ... It's a weak coalition government and military operations inside Pakistan are not popular,"

And if domestic military operations are not popular, imagine how welcome an attack by American forces must be. Get Hallmark on the phone, call FTD... Cheney can use the rose petals to mop up the blood. If America wants to be a unifying force in that part of the world, they are well on track. They are busily uniting millions of people. Against America. It seems that America has set a course for permanent war and they just don't care how it happens. The pig ignorant maniacs in charge are still beating their geriatric breasts, inciting action against Iran and now this. The third world and the Islamic world don't hate America for her freedoms, hell those are in tatters and chains by now anyway. They hate America for what America does, for the bloodshed and violence, for the arrogance and disregard.

"It would be a serious mistake to risk the destabilization of Pakistan to try and avert failure across the border in Afghanistan," said Stephen Biddle of the Council on Foreign Relations.

"If you think the No. 1 threat to U.S. interests at the moment is al Qaeda's acquisition of a nuclear weapon, far and away the likeliest scenario for that to happen is some sort of collapse of the Pakistani government into chaos."

God help America. Land of the... what's on TV?

They will be remembered ...

or, if not actually remembered, paid by the hour. Whichever's more convenient.

Sometimes, it's funny. Sometimes, not so much.

There are some things that just tickle Blogging Tory Griff's funny bone:

Anyone catch this on CNN? John McCain just clinched his nomination as Republican presidential candidate, with the Republican delegates from Arizona casting their 53 votes in his favour. Before the Arizona delegation's representative had finished speaking, however, a caption popped up on the screen informing viewers 'John McCain clinches Democratic nomination'.

Heh. It's always the little things that add flavour.

Yes, Griff, that's tres amusante, especially when it really doesn't hurt anyone and we can all chuckle over it afterwards.

On the other hand, sometimes, it isn't so funny. And I notice that Griff, like, totally missed that one. I'm shocked.

And I totally know who was on the grassy knoll, too.

Never, ever, NEVER doubt a rabid neo-con’s ability to play to his mouthbreathing base.

Republican candidate John McCain said on Wednesday that if elected president, he will capture al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden.

"President Clinton had opportunities to get Osama bin Laden. President Bush had opportunities to get Osama bin Laden. I know how to do it and I'll do it," he told ABC's "World News" in an interview.

"I understand and I have the knowledge and the background and the experience to make the right judgments. Senator Obama does not," McCain said in a reference to his Democratic rival for the White House, Barack Obama.

McCain, who was a Navy fighter pilot and spent five years as a prisoner of war in Vietnam, said Obama "doesn't know how -- how the world works nor how the military works."

So, if one were to interpret that literally, McSame is saying that for 7 years he’s known how to get bin Ladin but has chosen to do nothing about it. Well, he’s got my vote.

After all, any man who can allow more than 4,100 American service members and untold hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians to die when, in his own words, he could’ve stopped it is definitely the man this girl wants running the free world.

No, really.

You keep using the phrase "hand over," Kate ...

Blogging Tory and Nazi death camp tattoo aficionado Kate McMillan would like to take this opportunity to scream, "In your face, douchebags!"



And how exactly is that "hand over" going, Kate, sweetie? Oh ...

Despite those claims of success, the US will keep 25,000 troops in Anbar, though they will concentrate on training Iraqi security forces rather than patrolling...

In the past, the turnover of security control by the US to Iraqi forces has often been nominal. American troops continued to conduct operations without consulting Iraqi commanders. The Iraqi army was supposedly in charge of Kerbala province south of Baghdad, but US troops still carried out an operation on their own authority earlier this year.

I might as well just write one of these posts, and leave the date off. It'll save time later.

BONUS TRACK: Make yourself comfortable.

BY THE WAY, KATE, someone who contemptuously dismisses people for (allegedly) "gloating" over the deaths of other human beings might want to think twice about the concept of having a regular guest blogger who, you know, gloats over the deaths of other human beings.

Seriously, Kate, I understand you have trouble with consistency but, Jesus fucking Christ, that one's kind of a no-brainer, wouldn't you think?

When total buffoons write idiocy.

Shorter Blogging Tory Gerry Nicholls: "It's OK if you're Stephen Harper."

Shorter commenters: "We're abysmally stupid, too."

AFTERSNERK: Commenter "treb" seems quite taken with his (her?) powers of research, pompously pronouncing:

I guess some people just wont read the bill..Full text available to everyone Gerry.First paragraph below.
Date of General Election
Date des élections générales

Powers of Governor General preserved

56.1 (1) Nothing in this section affects the powers of the Governor General, including the power to dissolve Parliament at the Governor General’s discretion.

There you have it Gerry,first paragraph of the act,so what your problem with the truth??

And since "treb" is so enamoured of the actual text, one is tempted to ask "treb" whether, since that text includes the word "discretion," whether the G-G has the "discretion," when PM LargeSteve LoadPants comes a-calling for an election, to simply say "no." After all, that's kind of what the word "discretion" means. But I'm guessing that's where "treb" suddenly doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

Oh, and "treb"? Note how the very text you quoted leaves the "power" to dissolve Parliament in the hands of the G-G. Not the PM. The G-G. Or did you miss that bit?

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

I'm sorry ... did I just say that out loud?



Yes ... yes, you did.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Jabba the Roy spreads the cheeks you never kiss with and squeezes out another prizewinner:

Michell Malkin on leftist misogyny

Many of my female conservative blogger friends have commented on the sexist abuse they experience at the hands of lefties. They have even wondered about making hrc complaints against the more egregous offenders like cc, but they object to hrc censorship, so they haven't. Michelle Malkin faces this too.

Some advice, Doc ... you are not a lawyer, and you shouldn't even dream of playing one on TV.

Oh, and Doc? People don't despise Malkin because she's female. They despise her because she's a vile, disgusting human being, just like a number of those "female conservative blogger friends" of yours I choose to pick on. There is a difference.

When incredibly stupid SDA bloggers blog.

Over at Kate McMillan's Delisle White Supremacist and Nazi Memorabilia Bar and Grill, guest blogger "The Greek" embarrasses his species yet again:


Actually, he has a point. I mean, witness the eye-rolling disgust and barely-concealed misogynistic contempt here.

Um, whoops, wrong web page. Dontcha just hate it when that happens?

HOLD ON A MINUTE ... perhaps I'm being unfair to "The Greek." Let us more carefully consider his precise complaint, shall we?

... a mental disorder held by most left-wing men and women who feel that women are betraying their gender by exhibiting signs of conservatism. i.e. Christian, family oriented, Republican, NRA member, pro-life

So The Greek's whine is that leftists are jumping all over Palin for her "conservatism?" Fortunately, this is a trivially easy bit of idiocy to refute, since one can provide numerous reasons to intensely dislike Palin that have absolutely nothing to do with her conservatism. Where to begin?

Well, there's the fact that she is a censor. I'm fairly sure that doesn't fall under The Greek's categorization, unless he curiously wants to defend censorship as an exclusively right-wing habit.

Moving on, one can despise Palin for being, well, a liar and a flip-flopper. The Greek isn't going to lay an exclusive claim on those character flaws for conservatives, is he?

And there's Palin's abuse of power, which I'm fairly sure isn't restricted to whingers. Anyway, you can see where I'm going with this, all of which allows us to conclude two fairly obvious points: 1) You can really, really dislike Sarah Palin for lots of reasons having nothing to do with her conservatism, and 2) the Greek is a total, fucking idiot.

But I'm guessing you already knew both of those things already.

APPARENTLY, The Greek was waiting near the fax machine when they sent out the right-wing talking points:

McCain: Only sexists don't like Sarah Palin

Exactly ... there can be no reason other than despicable misogyny to thoroughly dislike Sarah Palin. Sort of like, only racists don't like Barack Obama. Is that how it works, Greek? No? How ... curious.

That popping you hear ...

... is the sound of Canada's right-wing "free speechers" heads exploding. But just give them a minute -- they'll find a way to rationalize it. They always do.

When they come for the idiots ...

... I want this hideous waste of skin to be the first one up against the wall:

The vicious attacks on her family and daughter are (words can't describe it) sickening. If this keep up it will turn many decent democratic mothers and families off O for good. I thought O said he would do politics differently, guess he lied.

Yes, MaryT -- and where were you when the Wingnut Right were going after Graeme Frost? Yeah, I thought as much.

And what exactly did Barack Obama have to say about all of this? Oh, right:

Obama: "People's Families are Off Limits"

When asked to respond to Sarah Palin’s announcement today that her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant, Barack Obama sternly said the story is irrelevant to the presidential campaign.

“I think peoples families are off limits and people's children are especially off limits.”

Obama addressed the press after he attended a Labor Day picnic here. Although he intended to give a statement on Hurricane Gustav, Obama was quickly asked about Bristol Palin’s pregnancy.

“My mother had me when she was 18 years old,” Obama said, adding that families should deal with these issues privately. “That shouldn’t be the topic of our politics, and I hope that anybody who is supporting me understands that’s off limits.”

When it comes to loathsome cretins like Hunter and MaryT, I swear, they can't bring back the hard labour re-education camps fast enough for me.

Don't like my attitude? I almost care.

YAAARRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

Please, Mommy ... make it stop.

Oh, God ... catfight!

Hunter. Kathy Shaidle. I would freakin' pay to watch that.

AFTERSNERK: You have to love this bit of sanctimonious hypocrisy from Hunter:

I am totally disgusted by the lefties attacking a 17 year old girl to gain advantage.

Yes, Hunter. Sort of like the way U.S. whingers went after 12-year-old car accident victim Graeme Frost? Sort of like that? And I'm sure you were all over that like Richard Evans on a Gap for Kids catalogue, right? Right? Whoopsie ...

Here's some friendly advice, Hunter: Fucking shut the fucking fuck up. Seriously. And then fuck off.

When reality becomes merely an annoyance.

Blogging Tory and member of Open Bathrobe and Dangling Genitals Media Damian Penny wishes you would stop being so freakin' obsessed with all that fancy-shmancy book larnin' 'n' everything:

Of course, a Presidential candidate's position on sex education - or the theory of evolution, for that matter - really shouldn't be an issue, since schooling is a matter best left to the states.

A fair point, Damian. After all, what business is it of the electorate if a candidate for the most powerful position in the most powerful country in the world is a frothing fundamentalist nutbar, or howling scientific illiterate? I mean, it's not like they can actually do any damage or anything, right?

Right?

SUZANNE, meet bitch slap. Bitch slap, SUZANNE. I'm sure you'll both have plenty to talk about.

Yo, SUZE. If you can spare a minute from getting all moist and drippy over "modern conservative female role model" Sarah Palin, you might want to have a quick look at this. At which point you can return to your deranged, hallucinogenic, right-wing bubble. We wouldn't want you to dangerously overextend your stay in the real world.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Stop, dear God, please stop! I can't take it anymore!

IT'S OFFICIAL: My brain just exploded.

Hoist. Petard.

Stick a fork in her ... she's done.

Sarah Palin Death Watch: Day 1.

Tick ... tick ... tick ...

P.S.: RT is thinking along the same lines. Place your bets.

BONUS DOOFITUDE: The reality:

Since Friday, when the pick was announced, news surrounding Palin has been almost uniformly negative: the initial focus on her lack of experience quickly gave way to reports of her involvement in the Troopergate scandal, the “Bridge to Nowhere” earmark, an Alaskan separatist party, a 527 group organized by recently indicted Alaska Senator Ted Stevens, and, on Labor Day, her teenage daughter’s pregnancy.

Ironically, truer words were never spoken:

Sarah Palin: modern conservative female role model

Oh, and the horrifying ignorance, Suzie. Don't forget the horrifying ignorance. That has "conservative female role model" written all over it.

Oh, my God, the comedic potential.

My nipples quiver with anticipation:

The McCain team has hastily assembled a team of former Bush White House aides to tutor the vice-presidential candidate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, on foreign-policy issues, to write her speeches and to begin preparing her for her all-important Oct. 2 debate against Sen. Joe Biden.

Yeah, we all know where this is going, don't we?



I may have to spring for cable just for this. Either that or find an accommodating bar.

Document the mudfortunate dumbfuckitude.

Jabba the Roy speaks. You wet yourself.

Things you will never hear me say again.

Kathy Shaidle is absolutely, bang dead-on with this one:

... [Briston Palin getting pregnant at 17] makes the Palins look really really tacky and low class.

We should want people better than "tacky and low class" in the White House. I left Hamilton to get away from tacky, low class people and their pregnant teenagers. Now they're all over my damn television.

We criticized Bill Clinton for helping kids think "oral sex wasn't real sex." But we're all cool with this? Kids will say, "So? Whatsername's pregnant."

When it's "one of us" we're all suddenly "compassionate" and "forgiving" and "oh but that's different"?

It is really funny seeing social conservatives turning themselves inside out to excuse/explain this because now it is someone on "our" side.

Sometimes, being a shrieky, hateful harpy can be handy -- it gives you the freedom to despise everyone equally and consistently. Go figure.

ON THE OTHER HAND, SUZANNE is once again being as stupid as a bag of cat litter. I'm not even going to bother eviscerating that bit of idiocy -- it's retardedness should be howlingly self-evident.

Dear Sarah:

Welcome to the big leagues.

P.S. Given the Blogging Tories' obvious and unabashed adulation for Sarah Palin, one has to wonder how they're going to react to this particular tidbit. After all, a depressing number of the BTs have been howling endlessly about Stephane Dion's alleged conflict of interest in being a dual citizen of both Canada and France. And there's the hysterics of having accused G-G Michaelle Jean and her husband of harbouring separatist sympathies.

So one wonders, in the light of that BT history, just how those same folks can be so utterly smitten with Sarah Palin. Ah, but that would be asking for BT consistency. And, as we've established long ago, the BTs don't do consistency. Apparently, consistency has an ugly liberal bias.

OH. MY. GOD. Patsy Ross is the father!

The stupid always rises to the top.

Oh, for Christ's sake.

When bloviating blowhards blog.

Shorter Blogging Tory Joan Tintor: "As a member of Canada's premiere right-wing blogging aggregator that can't wait for an early, illegal election that will cost us hundreds of millions of dollars and which Stephen Harper has already publicly admitted will probably change nothing, I would now like to pompously and sanctimoniously lecture you all on inefficiency."

Ah, the hypocrisy ... and so it begins ...

Hansard, May 2005:

"Fixed election dates stop leaders from trying to manipulate the calendar simply for partisan political advantage."

-- Stephen Harper

Quite so ... manipulating the calendar is a tacky, classless and douchebaggy thing to do. Unless, of course, it gives you a partisan political advantage. Then we're good.

Dumbassitude on parade: The Raphael Alexander chronicles.

Quoth the Raph:

I can speak for [Stephen Taylor] in that he doesn't tolerate overt forms of racism or allusions to it on the Blogging Tories.

I'm sorry, Raphael, what was that?

I can speak for [Stephen Taylor] in that he doesn't tolerate overt forms of racism or allusions to it on the Blogging Tories.

I apologize, Raphael, come again?

I can speak for [Stephen Taylor] in that he doesn't tolerate overt forms of racism or allusions to it on the Blogging Tories.

You'll have to speak up, Raphael, because I could have sworn I heard you say:

I can speak for [Stephen Taylor] in that he doesn't tolerate overt forms of racism or allusions to it on the Blogging Tories.

Um ... yeah, that's what I thought you said. Thanks ever so much for clearing that up.

P.S. I'm sure Stephen Taylor is relieved that you've taken it upon yourself to speak for him, Raphael. I'm guessing he'll be getting ahold of you shortly to ... thank you for it. Yeah, I'm sure that's what you should be expecting.

Let us all know how that conversation turns out, OK?

Dear Blogging Tories: Oh, please, I want your opinions.

See, there's this:

... government officials say that because the opposition appeared set to bring down the government before the fixed date of October 2009, the prime minister deserves the same right.

And there we have it -- the alleged defense of calling an election ahead of Stevie's vaunted "fixed" election date: that since a minority government can always be brought down by a vote of non-confidence, it should retain the inherent right to similarly pull the plug on itself. Which brings us to a number of questions I would dearly like you to address:

• If you accept this logic, then you must accept that it should apply to all minority governments, since the same situation would apply in all those other cases, correct? In other words, Harper's famous "fixed election dates" legislation simply does not apply to minority governments. Is that the position you're taking?



• Since this is clearly the position Harper is taking, can you honestly say that you knew about that loophole from the very beginning? Were you aware, from the day that Harper proposed the "fixed election dates" legislation, that it would not be binding on a minority government?



• And, finally, given that this is clearly the position Harper is taking, can you identify a single news piece back then during which Harper explained that that legislation would not apply to a minority government? Did he, at any time, make that exception unambiguously clear? And did a single one of you actually mention that on your blog more than, say, three months ago?

The above are fairly straightforward questions and, for all the bitching, whining, pissing and moaning you wanks do about us here at CC HQ, this is your chance to engage us in an intellectual manner and debate a serious issue. So you can get involved in the discussion, or you can go back to your perpetual bitching, whining, pissing and moaning. The choice is yours.

P.S. Even you, Darcey. You're welcome to join the discussion. If you can stop being such a pompous, sanctimonious fuckwit and douchebag long enough to type something intelligent.

I won't be holding my breath.

P.P.S. You're invited, too, Stephen. If you can remove your tongue from John McCain's adult diaper long enough to tap out something meaningful on your Blackberry.

WHOA, HANG ON, WHAT'S THIS? Sorry, I just noticed this part (emphasis added):

... government officials say that because the opposition appeared set to bring down the government before the fixed date of October 2009, the prime minister deserves the same right.

He "deserves" that right? Did someone at the PMO actually use the word "deserves?" Because that's a pretty telling sign right there.

If I felt I had the right to do something, that's how I'd phrase it: "I have the right." But if I'm not feeling particularly secure in my position, I might back off a bit and simply whine that I "deserve" that right, which is most emphatically not the same thing.

So did someone actually use that word? Or is that just some interpolation on the part of the reporter? 'Cuz I think that's a question that needs to be answered.

On Palin's Breaking-Watergate

So often we hear the phrase, 'who's your daddy'. We can now add, 'who's your mommy' to the lexicon. I bet all those folks that were wishing for the comedy stylings of Mike Huckabee as a veep nominee are kicking themselves. Nobody could have predicted this one woman failure of conservative values to appear like a comet streaking across the political sky, leaving a silvery contrail of amniotic fluid in her wake. My heart goes out to Bristol Palin, her siblings and all the other innocent kids whose lives are ratcheted into the screwed up world of fundamentalist lunacy by their deluded parents, regardless of denomination.

Mr McCain, your schadenfreudian slip is showing.

Dear SUZANNE: It's time for door number two.

Fetus fetishist SUZANNE gloats over the fact that Sarah Palin was pregnant after all. Good for her. Now when can we expect Suzie All-Caps to savagely excoriate Palin for being a horrible mother?

Any minute now, right, Suzie? Any minute now ...

OH, GOD: When it comes to pre-marital sex and abstinence education, I so desperately want the McCain campaign to advise tempted young women to "Just say no." I don't think my bladder would be able to control itself.

When Blogging Tories can just blow me.

The good doctor gets involved in this latest little blog spat, and here's the money quote:

And then my friend Darcey Jerrom gets into it over at Dust My Broom, demanding that I denounce [the CC collective] or get tossed from his blogroll. I didn't, and I was. But guess who are still proudly displayed on the DMB "Friends of the Broom" list? Yeah, right the first time.

Here's a thought, Darcey: Someone whose blogroll (entitled "Friends of the Broom") currently includes Nazi sympathizer Kate McMillan, racist "Neo Conservative", lying douche Brian Lemon, the criminally senile Papa Junker, and child sex obsessive Richard Evans (among others) really doesn't have the moral high ground to be dissing anyone else about who they read, know what I'm saying? So be a good boy and fuck right off, you insufferable, sanctimonious jackass.

Oh, and say hi to Dick for me.

YOUR UNINTENTIONAL HILARITY: Over at DMB, Darcey is not going to put up with any of that thoughtful, scholarly bullshit:

"dead niggers", "f*ck the jews" does nothing to denounce anything.

You're right, Darcey ... which is why I wrote entire articles around those phrases to provide the necessary context. I'm guessing you don't do context, do you, Darcey? Pity. That's where most of the good content is. And your appalling ignorance is suddenly way more understandable.

The sanity of David Frum.

Who would have thought that David Frum, of all people, would be the grown-up at the day care?

Can we conservatives please stop kidding ourselves about Barack Obama's "qualifications"? Yes, if I had been a Democratic donor back in 2006, I'd sure worry about whether Barack Obama had what it took to be president. That was before he took on the toughest political operation in America, before he beat Bill and Hillary Clinton, before he won 18 million primary votes.

Obama's nomination was not handed to him. He fought hard for it and won against the odds. "Qualifications" predict achievement. Once you have achieved, it doesn't matter what your qualifications are. Who cares whether the guy who built a big company from nothing didn't have much of a resume when he started? But if you are applying to run a big company built by somebody else, the resume matters ...

The worst mistake in any fight is to under-estimate your opponent's abilities. Look what happened to the people who under-estimated Reagan. If conservatives are to have any hope in the coming weeks, we should wake up to the fact that we face in Barack Obama a formidable man, who appeals to something important and deep in the American electorate. He's not a superman, he has vulnerabilities, he can be beaten. But he won't be beaten until we who are trying to beat him understand why and how he has come so far ...

Quite so. Obama has spent the last 18 months being savaged relentlessly by the GOP dirty tricks sleaze machine (not to mention the Clinton one), and he's survived that and proved what he's made of. Palin has, thus far, proved sweet fuck all. And this makes them somehow equivalent in terms of experience? Only if you're a complete cementhead.

Connecting the dots from A to B.

The main reason it's so unsatisfying trying to intellectually engage the Right is that, for the most part, they are simply unable to think more than one step ahead. Consider commenter "Ricky Martin" back here:

Bwha! ha ha! Now we know 'Canadian Cynic' is bonkers. This theory [of Sarah Palin claiming, as a son, her grandson] has absolutely no foundation. The post at Daily Kos reads like a typical conspiracy theory.

This is about Left-wingers being so desperate to find examples of Republican hypocrisy.

But there is not even an ounce of proof to the theory.

Well, actually, Ricky, there are two possible responses to that. First, there definitely is supporting evidence of that theory. It may not constitute unassailable proof, but it's there. However, that's not the fun part of this beatdown.

If we generously give Ricky his argument, where exactly does that leave us? If we admit that, sure, OK, it really is Sarah Palin's son, then what precisely are we allowed to conclude?

Uh oh:

... It is poor judgment to get on a plane when you are pregnant and leaking amniotic fluid. If she knew her child had this disorder and got on a plane with leaking amniotic fluid, then she shows incredibly poor judgment.

Read the whole thing. Take your time. Soak it all in. Which leaves us ... where?

Well, Ricky, it leaves us to choose between exactly two possibilities, doesn't it? On the one hand, we can believe that Sarah Palin faked her pregnancy and claimed her grandson as her son, in order to (understandably?) spare her daughter the humiliation of being a single, unwed mom.

On the other hand, we have the scenario of an older woman, pregnant with what she claims she already knew was a Down Syndrome fetus, showing appalling judgment to the point of being borderline criminally irresponsible, risking the health, if not life, of both herself and her unborn child by making the stupidest decisions imaginable. Those are your two choices, Ricky. Which one would you like to defend? Because you have to pick one -- there's no door number three.

And that's what happens when really boneheaded wankers can't think more than one move ahead.

GOP to America: We like dead people.

McCain campaign: "Americans murdered by terrorists? Yeah, that could work for us."

Republican officials: "Americans killed by a hurricane? Yeah, that could work for us."

I'm thinking that perhaps the Republican party should just start mowing down people in the streets with automatic weapons, and eliminate the middle man.

Simple answers to simple questions.

Two for the price of one today, boys and girls. Lawrence Martin of The Globe and Mail muses on behalf of Canadians everywhere:

A question many Canadians will decide in the polling booth is this: Is Mr. Harper an upright, honest and principled leader? Or is he a cynical operator who occupies the moral low ground?

Hmmmmmm ... let's see. No to the first and yes to the second. This has been another edition of "Simple Answers to Simple Questions".

Your Blogging Tory humour. As it were.

Day care candidate and PMO spokesfuckwit Kory Teneycke tries desperately to be witty:

May noted in the release that with "a Green MP sitting in the House of Commons, it will now be impossible to exclude the Green Party from the televised leaders' debates in the next election."

The Tories quickly dismissed the argument.

"Our view is there should only be one Liberal candidate in the leaders' debate," Harper communications director Kory Teneycke said on Saturday.

One wonders just how shriekingly childish you need to be to find that amusing.

Oh.

Forget I asked.

Happy Labour Day! Now get to work.

Yes, it's time to start fleshing this out. I'll have something more formal after everyone's back from holidays but, if you want to get a head start, here's what we're after.

I'm looking for snappy Stephen Harper government "accomplishments" that can be described in their entirety in a paragraph or two. Ideally, they should be self-contained, requiring no more than a link or two to get the whole picture. Even more ideally, they should expose the two-faced hypocrisy and dishonesty of Il Douche's administration, perhaps with one link of the form "What they said" versus a newer link of the form "What they did." I'm sure you get the idea.

Don't feel the need to be ridiculously comprehensive -- send along what you have, and we here at CC HQ will take it from there. Leave your suggestions as comments either on this post, or on the new blog. We'll process them, then we'll remove the comment to keep things manageable.

P.S. Of course I haven't run out of my own ideas. But life here at CC HQ is fairly busy work-wise, so I could use all the help I can get.

You just have to know your audience.

Comics for the intellectually challenged:


You can see why Dick Evans is such a fan.

P.S. Don't ask me to explain it to you.

Sorry ... why exactly are we over there again?

Freedom! Democracy! Schools! Gang rape! Um ... come again?

The Afghan president, Hamid Karzai, has pardoned three men who had been found guilty of gang raping a woman in the northern province of Samangan.

The woman, Sara, and her family found out about the pardon only when they saw the rapists back in their village.

“Everyone was shocked,” said Sara’s husband, Dilawar, who like many Afghans uses only one name. “These were men who had been sentenced and found guilty by the Supreme Court, walking around freely.”

Canada's military -- dying overseas so that Afghani men can rape Afghani women. And get away with it.

Canada's "Support The Mission" Blogging Tories must be so proud.

P.S. I would be remiss if I didn't take the obligatory cheap shot:


Remember ... it's the company you keep.

WHOA, NOT SO FAST: As thwap points out in the comments, there's some doubt as to whether Karzai actually signed the pardon in question. But it does appear to be his signature, so I think someone has some serious 'splainin' to do yet.