"Black card, Lister! Black card!"

In an early episode of the British comedy show "Red Dwarf," Lister is trying to convince Rimmer to give him Christine Kochansky's hologram disc just so he (Lister) can have a virtual date with someone he still has a crush on (Lister being the only human being left in the universe and therefore having a pretty quiet social life, as it were).

After some discussion, Rimmer finally tires of the argument and holds up his hand, exclaiming, "Black card!", which is his way of saying -- End of discussion. That's it. It's over. Once the black card is played, the debate is finished.

I'm thinking of coming up with a list of my own "black card" moments when someone wants to get into an argument about evolution, creationism and Intelligent Design, based on this article over at Pharyngula.

One black card moment in that piece can be found here:

Sparked by her son's interest in dinosaurs, Rogers read several books casting doubt on evolution science, ...

Now, I'm not sure who actually used the phrase "evolution science" but I can guarantee that, the instant someone used those words in my vicinity, I would immediately write them off as way too freaking stupid to waste any more oxygen on. If they want to debate, they can use the correct terminology -- "evolution", "biological evolution", "evolutionary biology" -- all perfectly acceptable. But "evolution science" or possibly "Darwinism"? This is a moron who can be summarily dismissed as a total idiot.

Other possible black card moments:

• "Well, they call it the 'theory of evolution' so it's just a 'theory', isn't it?"


• "They date fossils by the strata they're found in, and they date the strata by the fossils it contains, so evolution is just a circular argument."


• "All those dating techniques are unreliable."


• "Evolution is just another worldview, like creationism."


• "The probability of an amino acid forming completely at random is the same as if a tornado swept through a junkyard and spontaneously created ... URRRRKKK!"

(That last entry represents me choking the living shit out of the speaker before they can finish their asinine statistical comparison.)

I mean, I like a healthy debate just as much as the next yokel but, really, I've just lost the interest in getting into it with someone who is appallingly, abysmally, embarrassingly, screamingly ignorant of even the most rudimentary aspects of science. Which is why I plan on having my black card close at hand from now on.

Any other black card moments you'd like to add to the list?

ANOTHER BLACK CARD: "Well, it says in the Bible ... URRRRRRKK!!!"