Thursday, February 18, 2021

How sad is it to be David Menzies?

It must be cripplingly depressing to wake up every morning to realize ... you're still David Menzies, and your only marketable skill is to give Ezra Levant's Hummer H3 two coats of wax.  That's two coats, David, not like last time.

Here's Dave, having shlepped his sorry ass all the way out to Ottawa in anticipation of a glorious reception before tens of thousands of adoring groupies, only to run face-first into crushing disappointment and disinterest:

And even then, poor Dave has to embellish, as what he describes as a "few" hundred was, in fact, according to the Ottawa Citizen, about as "few" as you can get while technically still being "few":

One can only assume that, every time Dave returns from one of his Rebel assignments -- having been either tossed out, arrested or ignored -- he must plop down on his overstuffed sofa, twist open a Coors Light and wonder how in the hell his life turned out like this.


Anonymous said...

It's hard to say which of Dave's three basic articles I enjoy the most.
- "So I bullied this security guard/receptionist/cop/hotel desk clerk/conference attendee/transexual/hotel manager until they got mad and pushed me/called the cops. Send me money for Ezra's lawyer."
- "So I talked to this guy/woman/activist who knowingly broke the law, and you should too, so send me money for Ezra's lawyer. We won't pay their fine or anything, and the lawyer gets paid whether he wins or loses, but send the money anyway."
- "So I talked to a bunch of drunk millenials around closing time outside a bar, and edited together the stupidest answers I could find."

But I think my new favourites are the ones where he tries to "cover" a "story", and nothing actually happens, and he still has go generate copy for a deadline.

Like his trip to cover the "invading army" of immigrants jeopardizing the American border a couple of years ago, where he found himself completely over his head, and filed three successive reports saying "I don't really know what's going on here" before skedaddling back home.

Or staking out a mosque to see whether or not they were complying with COVID restrictions, and discovering to his chagrin that they were. BUT they had a funny looking flag outside their mosque that he thought might be dangerous.

Or his followup investigation, where he discovered that yep, darn it, they were still complying, and even worse, the scary looking flag was gone.

Glad to see him adding to that series. "A tiny handful people got together and yelled a while, then went home".

CC said...

You overlooked his number one hit: "Hey, they're throwing me out! Are all you real journalists fine with that? Well, are you!?!? Huh ... I guess they're fine with that."

Ramirezplayer said...

Wax on , wax off David san