Jesus Christ, CNN, what the f**k were you THINKING!?

Once again, parked on a stationary bike at the gym, watching CNN and getting all cranked up about the upcoming piece on Dick Cheney ... yes, yes, I won't touch that dial, now let's get on with it, fer Chrissake, and ... here it is, the lead, laying the groundwork and ... what the fuck?? The theme of this piece is that, despite his recent incident, Dick Cheney is really a safe hunter!!

That's it! The entire piece that follows is replete with testimonials from colleagues about how, hell, they'd be just tickled to go hunting with Big Time Dick 'cuz, by gosh, he's a careful man and all that crap.

Former senator Alan Simpson (R - Obscene Senility) is brought on to drool on his tie and mumble about how Cheney is a longtime fan of this "sport" (if you can call blasting hundreds of pen-raised birds at close range a "sport").

Simpson then, unbelievably, describes just how obsessed Cheney is with safety since, if he's drawing down on his target and a dog, or a car, gets in the line of fire, why, Dick would actually pull up and not fire! Holy fucking shit! Is that compassionate conservatism or what?

You are going to hell, CNN. All of you. Except for you, Daryn Kagan. You're already there.