Saturday, February 11, 2006

American dumbfuckery comes to Parliament Hill.


Jesus Christ (pun thoroughly intended), it's not enough that we get that felonious douchebag Ralph Reed up here, now we get James Dobson's gang of worthless bigots -- Focus on the Family -- setting up shop in Ottawa.

There is, of course, only one possible counter-strike -- we must unleash the Celine Dion neutron bomb on Buffalo. Yes, the dreaded Celine Dion neutron bomb -- capable of the savage and merciless slaughter of thousands of innocents, while leaving buildings standing.

Remember, Americans -- you brought this hideous fate upon yourselves, and may God have mercy on you. Or not. Whatever.

AFTERSNARK: I will refrain from making fun of the juxtaposition of the phrases "Focus on the Family" and "think-tank." Some things just parody themselves, don't they?

12 comments:

Patrick Ian Banks said...

If you drop the vile Celine Dion on us, you can expect drastic measures from us. Think we're kidding? Well, wait'll you get a load of the offensive cartoons of Wilfrid Laurier our newspaper editors will publish in retaliation. You've been warned.

CC said...

"Bring it on!" Oh, wait ... that didn't work so well the last time, did it?

Anonymous said...

Oh no! Not another think tank!

Steve V said...

From the website, it only takes two sentences for the first contradiction:

“It is very much non-partisan,” says senior vice-president
Derek Rogusky.

LANGLEY, BC—The opening this month of Focus on the Family Canada’s new Ottawa think-tank is expected to give social conservatism a stronger presence on Parliament Hill.

Oh, and that picture of Dave Quist from the site is just creepy.

Anonymous said...

Feh...Let's just burn down the Whitehouse, like the last time. Face it; with a culture that considers Brittney and MJ pretty mainstream, the CĂ©line bomb is laughably obsolete.

PR said...

Yeah, it would be such a disaster to have someone expressing an alternate viewpoint on these issues. The horror!

CC said...

You're right, Pete. Even closed-minded, ignorant dumbfuckitude deserves some representation.

We sll stand corrected.

Anonymous said...

Feh! Who needs tolerance? Down with the American fundy dumbfucks!!!

Anonymous said...

It's funny that this US based hate group did not set up shop prior to the election. It's almost as if Harper stood there saying the coast was clear for them to start peddling their backwards bullshit on Canada. I am not impressed. Think tank, how about septic tank.

Anonymous said...

Focus didn't set up shop before the elections because your media would have rightfully linked them to Harper, (and well they should have- would that we had less-sycophantic media in the US).

Remember that one Canadian Promisekeepers board member who scrubbed his name from the PK site before the election? Christian idiot rightwingers know their open bigotry doesn't work as well in Canada as it does down here.

Having said that, Harper will now no doubt be (behind the scenes of course) creating the media and political space for tolerance of Focus-like groups...that is the problem.

Anonymous said...

Hey, the Celine Dion neutron bomb sells out (pun very much intended!) every night in Vegas. And just seems to be attracting more people.

Anonymous said...

So Ralph Reed met the Lord in 1983 in Bullfeathers Bar, did he? How appropriate is that?