Sunday, February 28, 2010

Look, Becky! BILLIONS and BILLIONS of condoms!


Via "Dammit, Janet!", we learn that some Catholics are just as retarded as you suspected:

The flow of medical supplies waiting to be distributed to tens of thousands of earthquake victims in Haiti was delayed for weeks by a massive supply of condoms dominating the space of the main storage facility there, an eyewitness with insider information has told LifeSiteNews.com (LSN)...

The source reported that shipping containers of medical supplies were unable to be unloaded, sorted and distributed since an enormous supply of condoms clogged the facility till early February, when the condoms could be removed. The condoms were estimated to take up about 70% of the space in the 17,000 sq. ft. warehouse.

Hey, I know ... let's do some math, shall we? First, we can (unless we are a Blogging Tory) easily calculate that 70% of 17,000 square feet is 11,900 square feet. Man, that's a lot of square feet. Actually, for you CFL fans, it represents a Canadian football field from sideline to sideline, and from the goal line out to just past the 20-yard line. That's a lot of condoms, isn't it? But wait ... we're not done making fun of the intellectual cripples at LifeSite yet. Exactly how many condoms does that represent?

Well, we'll have to make some guesstimates here, so let's guesstimate. Imagine a standard box of condoms, and assume it's, what, one inch by two inches by four inches, and holds 12 condoms. Does that sound fair? Give or take a wee bit? So a dozen condoms would take up a total of eight cubic inches packed away snugly in their little cardboard box. Now, about that warehouse.

We've working with 11,900 square feet, and let's imagine that we can stack these condoms up to six feet high. Obviously, we have no idea how high they were stacked but it only makes sense to suggest that any sane warehouse manager would stack anything at least that high to be as space-efficient as possible. Normally, I'd guess they were stacked even higher, but I'm being generous to the wingnuts.

So, we have 11,900 square feet multiplied by six feet high, for a total of 71,400 cubic feet of condoms -- representing either a year's worth of partying at every Canadian college and university combined, or a weekend at Kathy Shaidle's, when Arnie wants to feel as little as possible so he can wake up the next morning and pretend it never happened.

Anyway, some simple math tells us that every cubic foot of space could hold 216 little boxes of condoms, each of which contains an even dozen condoms, for a grand total of .... wait for it ... 71,400 cubic feet * 216 boxes per cubic foot * 12 condoms per box, or ...

185,068,800 condoms.

That's right -- over 185 million condoms. Which inspires one to wonder just how unspeakably fucking stupid you need to be to believe that, in the aftermath of a catastrophic earthquake, Haiti was gifted with over 185 million condoms. Seriously, what level of staggering retardation does it require to be told a whopper of a story like that, and to actually accept it? But wait ... there's more.

That insipid "LifeSite" article makes a curious claim:

The scenario of medical supply buildings in the developing world taken up mostly by condoms and severely lacking in health care supplies is not new.

When Canadian General Romeo Dallaire returned from Rwanda in the aftermath of the Rwandan Massacre he noted in a 1996 speech that military personnel referred to UN and other foreign aid as "covering the country with rubber."

Really? Romeo Dallaire said that? Man, that would have been MASSIVE news given how controversial it would have been. I wonder what Google has to say about it:



Huh. How ... curious. All of five hits, and not one from a source that has any value whatsoever. It's almost as if that never happened.

But that's just a guess.

AFTERSNARK: One of the Google hits is this yahoo, who gets at least a little credit for not buying into that ridiculous myth. But look who shows up in the comments section there -- one John-Henry Westen, representing none other than LifeSite, who proceeds to regurgitate, word for word, what was in the LifeSite article itself, as if saying something twice magically gives it more credence.

Such is the intellectual horsepower found at LifeSite News: "You don't believe me? Here, let me repeat it verbatim. Did that make a difference?"

(Someone should challenge Westen to back up that Dallaire quote with something resembling proof. I suspect the tap dancing would be spectacular.)

OH, LOOK ... another gullible buffoon. Let's keep track of them, shall we?

Blogging Tories Short Takes, February 28, 2010.


Shorter "Hunter": "I'm going to defend Helena Guergis since we deranged, shrieking, psychologically-unbalanced Conservative women have to stick together."

Shorter Fred "Gay and Right" Litwin: "Speaking on behalf of my Blogging Tory colleagues, none of whom are capable of intellectual multitasking, I think it's a terrific idea that Harper prorogued Parliament during the Olympics. I mean, that whole walking and chewing gum at the same time? Lot tougher than it looks."

Shorter Jabba the Roy: "Don't you just hate un-democratic, dictatorial, fascist governments? I do."

Shorter "BC Blue": "Fuck free speech. It just gives people a chance to say things I don't agree with. Why would I support that?"

Shorter "Back Off Government": "If you allow me to make a number of comparisons that are either hilariously irrelevant or weirdly imaginary, I believe I have a point here."

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Helena Guergis: So not ready for prime time.


Stephen Maher sums it up nicely.

Saturday Morning Cartoons.


Good morning, darlings – I’m up to my ears reviewing/rewriting a software solution integration bid (345 pages and counting) so I’m a touch late.

Coffee?


Suddenly, that "No Fly List" has real entertainment value.


Dear Transport Canada: I'd feel safer if deranged, hysterical wingnuts with obvious anger management issues and who consort with known drug abusers were not allowed to be on the same plane with me.

It's just a thought.

P.S. I'm pretty sure I could use the same logic with Maxime Bernier. Give me a minute or three to make the connection.

Being an unethical douchebag for all the right reasons.


Shorter Blogging Tory Walker Morrow: "It's all right to be a lying weasel as long as it's for a good cause. And I'll be the judge of what constitutes a good cause."

AFTERSNARK: Poor Walker -- even his wanker colleagues are dropping by his comments section and giving him a spanking for his public celebration of dishonesty. Apparently, they don't appreciate him being so open and candid about their general philosophy towards, you know, accuracy.

Friday, February 26, 2010

New PMO Aide Hired

After an exhaustive search requiring the suspension of Parliament, the PMO has announced that they have found a new personal assistant for Prime Minister Big Steve. Qualifications were stringent as I am sure you will be able to gather. Evidently, the unfuckable Jason Kenney is somewhat put out by this new hire as he was quite sure there was nobody else as uniquely suited to the necessary duties.




Our Next Prime Minister!



Fuck you Steve & Iggy, my vote goes here!

Image swiperized from the Bloggess.

Bitch.


Geez, so the hubby's going down for being a druggie. No need to take it out on the help.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

And here's where we juxtapose ...


There's this:

Stephen Harper takes control of Senate

Prime Minister Stephen Harper has appointed three experienced Conservative provincial politicians to the Senate to fill five vacancies. The two other appointees are community activists...

Filling of these five vacancies changes the landscape in the Red Chamber, finally giving the Conservatives a slight edge over the Liberals.

And there's this:

Canada talks tough to Karzai

Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon revealed in an interview on Power & Politics with Evan Solomon that he will be talking to his Afghan counterpart to convey Canada's concern over Afghan President Hamid Karzai's decision to give himself the power to appoint all members of that country's Electoral Complaints Commission (ECC).

Yes, Larry, why don't you lecture Hamid Karzai on the fascist classlessness of unilaterally giving himself more power? Let me know how that works out for you.

It's nice to see the Christians still getting your tax money.


Oh, look ... sleazy religious evangelists raking in millions of your dollars:

MP gets behind Youth for Christ centre
Pat Martin supports project after council approves funding

Winnipeg Centre MP Pat Martin is now pledging to help the Christian organization he excoriated last week as a "fundamentalist group" build an $11.7-million youth centre in the coming months.On Wednesday, city council voted 10-4 to contribute $4.2 million toward the non-profit organization Youth for Christ's $11.7-million plan to build a 50,000-square-foot Youth Centre of Excellence on an empty lot at the northwest corner of Higgins Avenue and Main Street.

Devout, adult Christians and vulnerable, impressionable kids. What could possibly go wrong?

BY THE WAY
, lest anyone attempt to downplay the evangelism aspect in all of this, let me quote:

Our Mission

Youth for Christ, Canada exists to impact every young person in Canada with the person, work and teachings of Jesus Christ and discipling them into the Church.

Is there any part of that you find unclear or ambiguous?

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

This is why I have a cat door.



Dear Canadian military: You're dying for what again?


As my eminent co-blogger Lindsay pointed out earlier, it appears that members of Canada's military continue to fight and die so that Afghan President Hamid Karzai can turn his country into his own corrupt little theocracy.

That's just super. And when they rename that stretch of the 401 from Trenton to Toronto the "Highway of Politically Expendable Patsies," we'll be pretty much done here, don't you think?

Being assholes without suffering the consequences.


Via Steve V, we learn that the Stephen Harper Brownshirt Party of Canada would really, really like the official opposition to save their worthless, sorry asses from the ramifications of their infinite assholitude:

OTTAWA - Justice Minister Rob Nicholson is “hopeful” the opposition parties will agree to reinstate 14 crime bills that died with Parliament's prorogation late last year...

“To say, oh, they don’t like prorogation so they’re going to start opposing bills that better protect Canadian victims and law-abiding Canadians ...

That’s a bad reason,” Nicholson said. “I’ve got questions for them if they are just going to hold this up because they’re in a snit about something.” Nicholson made his appeal Tuesday while celebrating Bill C-25, which came into effect Tuesday and eliminates the courts’ practice of awarding prisoners a two-for-one - sometimes even three-for-one - credit for time served in pre-trial custody.

At the risk of being intemperate, the Opposition should tell Nicholson that he can go pleasure himself with Kathy Shaidle's dick. All this time, we've been told by Stephen "Il Douche" Harper that all those lost bills weren't a big deal, that we could catch up in short order, that Parliament would reconvene and we could zip those things through lickety-split, etc, etc.

Unspoken in all of that was, apparently, that it would require the co-operation and good will of the Opposition -- the same Opposition that Harper and Nicholson bent over a table and rogered with glee month after month. And now Harper wants those same folks to pull his nutsack out of the fire. See above.

What's amusing is that Nicholson seems prepared to place the blame squarely on the Opposition. That's hysterical. "Yes, yes, we undemocratically prorogued Parliament, and it's all their fault for not making things better."

Let me suggest a more wide-sweeping rationalization for both Harper and Nicholson:

"Well, sure, we massively screwed this country into the deficit-laden, racist, scientifically-illiterate, clusterfuck banana republic laughingstock that it is now. But if the Opposition had simply voted us out, none of this would have happened. So it's their fault. Letting us run things for this long? What kind of irresponsible retard lets that happen?"

As you can see, the above is infinitely applicable. Use it wherever a Stephen Harper Party of Canada clusterfuck is found.

AND SPEAKING OF QUESTIONS ... it's hilarious for Nicholson to get his panties in a bunch thusly:

“I’ve got questions for [the opposition] if they are just going to hold this up because they’re in a snit about something.”

You've got questions for them, do you, Rob? That's fascinating, since many of them had questions for you regarding the mistreatment of Afghan detainees, which prompted that worthless government of yours to piss its pants and prorogue Parliament to escape from the relentless scrutiny. And now you have to gall to suggest that some people should, what, be held to account and be forced to address whatever issues are bugging you at the moment?

You might want to rethink that strategy, Rob. 'Cuz it just makes you look like a dick. Really. A total dick.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Do As We Say, Not As We Do

Fancy kettle, meet dirty old pot. In a remarkable show of tone deaf hypocrisy, Federal Scumba... Minister of Foreign Affairs, Larry Cannon has the gall to to fret over Nato puppet Karzai's desire to control electoral watchdogs. That would be Larry Cannon whose party and government have sued Elections Canada, played fast and loose with campaign finance law, used Conservative branded stimulus cheques to try and buy regional voting, misused ten-percenters as permanent campaign materials and still climb into bed with greasy scum like Chuck McVety to grope in the superstitious dark for their policy. One theocratic, authoritarian government pooh-poohing another, how very special.

Not that Conservative reality detachment should come as a shock to anyone but this is especially rich from the party that called off parliament to hide from their own malfeasance.

Cannon noted that during the most recent Afghan election the complaints commission, led by Canadian Grant Kippen, played a crucial role in efforts to have a credible election.

The minister says the significant problems encountered during the 2009 presidential election must be addressed quickly to ensure a fair parliamentary ballot later this year.

Jeepers Larry, maybe we should hire someone like Grant Kippen to keep his eye on the shenanigans that our government politicians get up to. In'n'Out indeed, just another way to fuck the country.

The joy of anti-choice idolatry.


In summary, Pam Tebow gets pregnant, claims to make personally agonizing decision to keep fetus, and eventually gives birth to overrated loser.

It's a touching, heartwarming story if you ignore the "overrated loser" part.

Bjorn Lomborg: Douchebag!


There's the Blogging Tory swooning adoration for global warming denier, crackpot and huckster Bjorn Lomborg. And then there's reality.

Blogging Tories and reality: destined never to meet.

When really stupid conservatives write stupidly.


Over at Hunter's, commenter "Joe" stops munching on the paint chips just long enough to bang out one of the most dumbass screeds ever produced by applying forehead to keyboard:

In all the time I've wandered this earth I have always noticed that the Liberals are the biggest wasters of precious resources. Don't know why but Conservatives tend to Conserve.

Yes, Joe ... whatever you say. You can go back to your paint chips now.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Whoopsie.


Hey, mistakes happen. Now if only some of those women had been pregnant, I'll bet Canada's wanks would be absolutely furious about the loss of those precious fetuses. As it is, we're good here. Carry on.

Uh oh ... that NATO coalition honeymoon seems to be over.


Alberta blogger/journalist David Climenhaga brings to my attention this little nugget:

Dutch government collapses after Labour withdrawal from coalition
Row over extension of Dutch troops' tour of duty in Afghanistan forces Labour out of Jan Peter Balkenende's ruling coalition

The Dutch government has ­collapsed over disagreements on whether or not to extend troop deployment in Afghanistan.

The prime minister, Jan Peter Balkenende, said the Labour party – the second-largest party in his ruling coalition – was quitting...

"A plan was agreed when our soldiers went to Afghanistan," said the Labour leader, Wouter Bos. "Our partners in the government didn't want to stick to that plan, and on the basis of their refusal we have decided to resign from this government."

Wow. An opposition with balls. I almost didn't recognize it.

Blogging Tory "Hunter": Canada's Whiniest Wanker?


In the midst of getting spanked in public for her eye-rolling idiocy and hypocrisy, Blogging Tory "Hunter" makes a curious request:

SQ, you can boycott whoever you want. Here's an idea, you could boycott MY blog!!! Go for it, and take your far left friends with you!

But Hunter, sweetie, if you simply want all those nasty lefties to go away and leave you alone because you're simply incapable of anything even remotely resembling intellectual discourse, there's a simple solution. Here.

As I pointed out weeks ago, if you are a whiny, pants-pissing, hack of a right-wing Canadian blogger who can't tolerate all those liberal, leftard progressives stopping by and pointing out what kind of pathetic wank you are, then all you have to do is leave a comment at the "Whiny Canadian Wankers" blog. In effect, that will be your public admission that, while you enjoy producing copious amounts of pompous, pretentious bluster, you realize that you are massively unprepared to engage in actual intelligent conversation and you'd rather not have all those noisy libtards polluting your comments section with reality and facts and, you know, stuff like that there.

Naturally, I can't force people to abide by requests like that, and it won't stop us from mocking your stupidity from a distance, but once you register, I'll do my best to convince your normal critics to give your little corner of the Wank-o-sphere a pass and leave you in peace to circle jerk with your normal adoring (and equally retarded) groupies.

So how about it, Hunter? If you truly want to cleanse your comments section of dissension (including those folks who are currently howling with laughter as they point out the incongruity of your calling for a boycott of Google while posting from a Google-owned blog), just say so. Leave a comment over at the whiny wankers blog, and I'll see that your pathetic whininess gets all the publicity it deserves. And you and your ideological bedmates can circle jerk to your hearts' content.

All you need to do is register, Hunter. I'm fairly sure you have the intellectual horsepower for that, although I'm not sure I'd bet the farm on it.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Because Hunter's a lunatic, that's why.


Here's Blogging Tory "Hunter," yammering on incoherently like the raving whackjob she is:

Conservatives don't like to tell other people how to live their lives. So the idea of going out and protesting is foreign to us.

And here's Hunter, less than a month ago, bragging about their rally:

Stand up FOR Canada, that's what we were doing just a year ago... Notice all the Canadian flags and yikes, they are singing "Oh Canada" too. Look it's the anti-coalition rallies from just a year ago.

And here's Hunter, being the frothing douche bag she is, yapping about yet another protest:

This is a protest that the media forgot to cover... It is the March for Life rally that had 12,000 people show up in support of life.

And Hunter, one more time:

If you are as disgusted with this whole situation as I am, get off your butts and go out to the Rally for Canada on Saturday. The new location is the Alberta Legislature at noon, and I expect to see Stelmach and all Conservative MLA's out there supporting PM Harper and the Conservative government!

The war has just begun, but they discounted the silent majority. We will not be silent anymore! Rise up! Do what lefties do best, protest.

Shut up, Hunter. Honestly, please, for the love of God and to stop making women everywhere look like absolute fucking retards, shut the hell up. You're just embarrassing yourself.

P.S. Elsewhere, Unrepentant Old Hippie "JJ" points out that "Hunter" is stamping her little foot in outrage, demanding that we all boycott Google ... doing this from a blogspot domain blog that is, in fact, owned by the aforementioned Google.

Fuck, but that woman is a screeching idiot. Stephen Taylor must be so proud.

Yeah, yeah, whenever ...


I love you all dearly but, as I mentioned recently, I have just embarked on a wicked cool geek project with no end in sight and, in a heated confrontation between my adoring Sycophantic Groupthink Temple followers and, um, billable hours, well, that's not even a contest. I'll do what I can.

But if you're feeling generous these days, I really want one of these. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Go Uvex!

Seems the greedy little piggies over in the Olympic city have spared no effort to be complete screaming fucks. The VANOC 2010 Olympic Winter Ratfuck has sullied the name of Canada in the eyes of the world. Our national reputation has taken yet another hit due to the unfettered greed and nasty stupidity that are behind this scheme. Once the nice guy nation, we're now apologists for torturers, we abandon our citizens and go to the highest court to find loopholes to avoid obeying the very treaties we once helped set in place. We've abandoned sportsmanship and fair play in the craven lust for dollars. And nothing is more characteristic of this Olympic Games than the actions taken by VANOC and the IOC in attempting to usurp control of a skier's identity.

Evidently Lindsey Vonn chose to wear Uvex goggles. After winning a Gold Medal, the company congratulated her and was promptly contacted by an IOC lawyer demanding they take down all references to Lindsay Vonn using their equipment. In complying with this outrageous and ridiculous demand they replaced their use of Vonn's name and image with a poem. As a result, their graciousness and wit caught the attention of Slashdot and the gnomes over at boing boing . The IOC couldn't ask for more appropriate publicity, their racket, which seems little better than extortion, is now being exposed to an ever larger audience that isn't so easily gulled by grifting vermin in expensive suits. Here's hoping one of those douchebags does a little searching, I'm sure they'll be delighted to learn of the Streisand effect.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Saturday Morning Cartoons.


Good morning, darlings -- we haven't done this in ages.


Friday, February 19, 2010

Nancy Greene Raine: A whore by any other name ...




There's a twenty on the nightstand, Nancy. I'll be expecting some change from that.

Own the podium!


And if we have to bury the occasional athlete to do it, well, fuck 'em.

Jihad! Oh, wait ...


Shorter Wankersphere: "Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please, let him be Muslim! Shit. Move along, then ... nothing to see here."

It's only democracy when other people fuck with it.


Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon is terribly, terribly concerned about democracy and electoral fairness in Afghanistan.

The irony amuses me.

P.S. I await, with bated breath, Stephen Harper's pompous condemnation of the apparent military coup in Niger. 'Cuz what we really need right now is a lecture from Stephen Harper on the value of constitutional democracy and freedom. Or something else he knows nothing about.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Yeah, yeah, still here.


Currently up to my nads in geek work that I can't talk about, but if any of my leisurely co-bloggers want to pick up the slack, that would be just ducky. God knows, there's never any shortage of wankers to mock.

AFTERSNARK
: Priceless.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

What the Winter Olympics means to me.


How many ways are there to descend a slippery surface as quickly as possible? Now shut up and find me some American college basketball.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

How pissed off should we be about this?


What the hell?

Since the earthquake, [Haiti] has been spiritually transformed. People from a whole variety of religious backgrounds, including voodoo, one of Haiti's two official religions, are pledging to devote themselves anew to Christianity.

They're doing it by making daily trips to worship services, most of which are being held outdoors because the churches have been damaged or destroyed. Throughout these, people sing at the top of their lungs, wave their arms overhead and dance themselves into a trance-like state in an effort to reconnect with the Lord.

The prevailing worry is that if they don't, God will further punish their country, the world's first black republic, founded in 1804 following a slave rebellion.

I'm not going to write what I'm thinking, but it's not pleasant.

Take our pavilion. Please.


Captain Photo Op does what he does best -- shows up just long enough to be photogenic:



And here's the best part:

Upon arriving in Port-au-Prince, the prime minister announced the government would provide up to $12 million to build a temporary base for the Haitian government.

Most government buildings, including the iconic presidential palace, were destroyed or damaged in last month’s quake. Since then, Preval and his cabinet have been running the government out of a police station, holding news conferences under a mango tree.

Let me make a suggestion:



Apparently, the above cost $10.4 million, it looks like it's easily disassemblable, we won't be needing it in a couple of weeks, and it's so unspeakably fucking ugly that no one here wants to be seen within 100 kilometers of it. And in the middle of a natural disaster zone and surrounded by devastated and shattered buildings, it wouldn't even stand out.

A win-win all around, I would think. Now, where's a C-17 when you need one?

Apparently, just keep your knees together, you sluts.


The Ottawa Citizen's St. David of Warren is big on abstinence. Hey, it's kept him from getting pregnant all these years.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Photo op man strikes again.


Oh, look (emphasis thigh-suckingly added):

The Prime Minister, who is on a two-day trip to the island nation where bodies still lie under the rubble of last month's earthquake, arrived with a promise of $12-million to put a temporary roof over the federal government in Haiti...

Mr. Harper, who is the first leader from a major donor country to visit Haiti since the disaster, did not come with bags of cash. The money announced Monday is small. This country will need billions of dollars to restore even the impoverished life it knew before the ground shook and the buildings collapsed.

And it's not a new commitment. It is part of $555-million that the Canadian government set aside in 2006 for Haitian development.

Shorter Stephen Harper: "Yeah, yeah, earthquake, whatever. You'll get your money when I say you'll get it. Now take the fucking picture so I can get out of this dump. I've got hockey to watch and this many black people just creeps me out."

And here's where we juxtapose.



I'm not sure that could have been any more ironic.

The Krauthammer Kronikles.


I sometimes wonder if TBogg needs more of a challenge.

Stop him before he photo ops again!


Always on the lookout for abject human misery and massive body counts that he can milk to his political advantage, Stephen "Il Douche" Harper is off to Haiti to have his picture taken with some poor orphan so that he can look like he cares.

In a special to the Globe, Gerald Caplan has some interesting facts on Haiti for Photo-Op Steve, under the mistaken impression that Steve actually gives a fuck about any of those people.

I eagerly await the imminent picture of Harper with the caption, "Vote for me or I eat this child!"

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Retardopedia!


Who knew scientific knowledge could be so emotionally traumatic?

Conservative media darling? Eh, not so much.


Apparently, the Canadian market is a tough one for illiterate quitters:

Tickets are still available to hear a potential American presidential candidate in Hamilton.

Despite one organizer's prediction in December that the April 15 visit of Sarah Palin to Hamilton would be sold out within two weeks, good seats remain available.

And here's the punchline:

It also comes after the darling of the American conservative movement gave the keynote speech at the weekend conference of the grassroots Tea Party Convention in Nashville, Tenn.

"Darling of the American conservative movement?" I don't think so:

'Warning: Tea Party In Danger': Leader Slams Palin As 'Wolf In Sheep's Clothing'

A prominent Tea Party leader from Texas is warning that the movement "is becoming nothing more than a wholly owned subsidiary of the Republican Party," and slamming Sarah Palin as representing "a growing insider's attack to the heart of the Tea Party."

Dale Robertson, the founder of TeaParty.org, is just the latest Tea Partier to express concern that the movement is being hijacked by the GOP.

In a lengthy statement -- entitled "Warning: Tea Party In Danger" -- posted yesterday on the TeaParty.org homepage, Robertson instructs his felllow Tea Partiers to "[b]e alert to turncoats and deceivers being herded into the Tea Party by usurpers from the weakened Republican Party for the sole purpose of capturing our populist movement."

Huh. Finally waking up to the fact that you're being played for suckers by a worthless, uneducated opportunist and perpetual failure? I guess it just takes some people longer than others.

Transparency! Accountability! Batshit crazy, tinfoil hat paranoia!


Yeesh. I imagine Free Dominion get-togethers as a bunch of dingbats dressed in camo, each bragging about how much they have stockpiled for when Obama unleashes the New World Order.

Um ... huh?


Via the cool technology at Alexa, we learn:



I have no idea what to make of that.

(Wag of the tail to Dr. Dawg for the observation.)

Saturday, February 13, 2010

The backlash must have been savage.


Scrolling through the main page of the septic tank that is the Blogging Tories and this just leaped out at me:



Wow, thought I, using a horrific tragedy to score some cheap political points and mock some dead people. That's purely "Neo Conservative" territory there. So I thought it might be amusing to see what "Barrel Strength"s readers had to say about this, and if any of them called the author (it's a group blog) to task for being such an insensitive asshole:



Huh. How odd. One suspects that even BS's Blogging Tory colleagues were taken aback by the smirking dismissal of and snickering at the cold-blooded murder of three academics.

Except for "Neo Conservative." I suspect he just left a comment hoping they were black.

Compassionate Christianity? Not so much ...


Shorter SUZANNE: Rumour has it that allegedly "gay" teenagers are at a higher risk of suicide than heterosexual teens. Whatever.

CC here: SUZANNE, being the hideous waste of skin that she is, redirected that link to her favourite wallpaper store (graphic abortion pics). I've tossed the link for now.

It's creepy how much that nutbar loves the sight of a dead fetus.

LuLu here: Even shorter SUZANNE: Free speech FTW!!11!!1!!1! Except, you know, when I don't like it.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Dear Ezra:


Fuck right off, you yammering turd.

P.S. Yo, Ezra. You're a liar. Here's the proof.

AFTERSNARK: Coming unbidden to mind ...


How deranged are you ...


... when you're too deranged for Jonathan Kay?

AFTERSNARK: Advertising his Newsweek piece as a "Newsweek Web Exclusive," Kay writes (among other things):

Like all populists, tea partiers are suspicious of power and influence, and anyone who wields them. Their villain list includes the big banks; bailed-out corporations; James Cameron, whose Avatar is seen as a veiled denunciation of the U.S. military; Republican Party institutional figures they feel ignored by, such as chairman Michael Steele; colleges and universities (the more prestigious, the more evil); TheWashington Post; Anderson Cooper; and even FOX News pundits, such as Bill O'Reilly, who have heaped scorn on the tea-party movement's more militant oddballs.

One of the most bizarre moments of the recent tea-party convention came when blogger Andrew Breitbart delivered a particularly vicious fulmination against the mainstream media, prompting everyone to get up, turn toward the media section at the back of the conference room, and scream, "USA! USA! USA!" But the tea partiers' well-documented obsession with President Obama has hardly been diffused by their knack for finding new enemies.

Curiously, Kay also shows up in his more normal environs of the National Post, opining (among other things):

Barack Obama and his Congressional allies are the main targets. But the villain list also includes the big banks, China, Middle Eastern oil producers, bailed-out corporations, James Cameron ( Avatar is seen as a veiled denunciation of the U.S. military), Republican Party chairman Michael Steele, universities, The Washington Post, Anderson Cooper, and even FOX News pundits such as Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck, who've heaped scorn on the Tea Party movement's more militant oddballs. (One of the most bizarre moments of the convention came when blogger Andrew Breitbart delivered a particularly vicious fulmination against the mainstream media, prompting everyone to get up, turn toward the media section at the back of the conference room, and scream "U. S.A.!U. S.A.!U. S.A.!")

Apparently, Mr. Kay uses a definition for the word "exclusive" with which I am unfamiliar.

Mark Steyn would be proud.

When stupid journalists journalize.


The National Post's Kelly McParland is appalled:

So just what is the Liberal plan, then? If some impoverished country refuses to guarantee abortion rights, they get nothing? Jeez, way to go Michael Ignatieff! Cut off the needy unless they toe the line with Liberal party values.

Yeah! Chopping the funding of people just because they don't display the proper level of ideological purity? What kind of pompous, intolerant buttfuck do you need to be to do something that awesomely sleazy?

Oh.

Do any of McParland's Post colleagues actually like him, or is there just an awkward silence and looking the other way when they pass in the hallways because of McParland being such a useless hack and toady?

I'm just curious.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Yes, that's my kind of humour.


Remind me to never travel to Australia.


I'm sorry ... that's a sport?


And what exciting new competitions can we look forward to during this year's Olympics?



Although I think it's called "ski cross."

The unintentional hilarity.


King Stephen fluffer-bot Stephen Taylor whinges on about alienating others. Yes, Stephen, feel free to lecture us on that topic. We'll be right here.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Vancouver does Delisle. The world cringes.


Canada welcomes the world, and shows everyone where we store our snowblowers:



Once the Olympics are over, VANOC has promised Kate McMillan that she can have her garage and airbrush shop back at the earliest opportunity.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

What? The? Hell?


Whassup with this?

Stephen Harper: Lying douchebag.


Via David Akin, we see James Cowan, the leader of the Liberal Party in the Senate, yanking down Steve's and Rob Nicholson's panties and giving them a wicked public spanking. I particularly like this savage towel snap to the nads:

I was particularly surprised that you referred to Bill C-25 during your press conference. That bill, which dealt with limiting credit for time spent in pre-sentencing custody, passed the Senate without any amendments on October 21, 2009, yet as of this writing, according to the Library of Parliament and the Privy Council Office, the bill has still not been brought into force by your Government – more than three months later. One is left to wonder whether you simply forgot to bring it into force? Or was the bill more about the appearance of being “tough on crime” than actually taking action? Certainly we now know that bill was not as urgent a priority for the Harper Government as was initially represented.

I await the inevitable frantic tap-dancing and hysterically off-point rebuttal from Captain Canada Stephen Taylor, when he can tear himself away from idiotic Batman videos.

Irony, oh, irony.


Heh. Indeed:

Anti-Conservative "National Newswatch" features lame amateur blogger attacking a Blogging Tory
Posted by Craig Smith on February 2, 2010 at 6:30pm

If anyone had any doubts about how anti-Conservative "National Newswatch" has become this should end all doubts. It is one thing to feature a long string of anti-Conservative opinion pieces from the likes of the Toronto Star but now he is featuring rather lame content from marginal left wing bloggers.

That would be "Canadian Conservatives" founder Craig Smith, pompously and contemptuously dismissing "marginal" bloggers.

No, I don't think he'd understand the irony, even if you explained it to him, then wrote it on his hand.

AFTERSNARK: You have to love the unintentional boot to the berries here:

I should note that Stephan [sic] Taylor has recently purchased advertisements on that site - not a very nice way to treat the folks who pay your bills.

Misspelling Stephen Taylor's name -- yeah, that's gonna win friends. But one has to appreciate the way things work in Craig's world -- if you can cough up advertising fees, you should have a bit of pull when it comes to editorial content.

Craig Smith -- dragging journalistic ethics into the septic tank with him, one idiotic post at a time.

I know four-year-olds who are better liars than this.


Oh, for the love of Mutt:

OTTAWA - Federal ministers have been warned by their boss against subverting Canada's freedom-of-information law after a political aide at Public Works ordered a sensitive document withheld from a media requester.

"Obviously, around Access to Information, due diligence is and should be done by public servants and not political staff," Dimitri Soudas, spokesman for the prime minister, said in an interview Monday.

"The process . . . should be followed and respected by all. . . . It applies to everybody across government (including) political offices."

But ... but ... but ... they were only trying to be helpful:

The news agency requested the report, an accounting of the government's real-estate portfolio, under the Access to Information Act and duly paid photocopy fees of $27.40...

Margaux Stastny also said Togneri was not trying to prevent release of the report, only to save the requester photocopy fees. She said Togneri merely wanted to offer the requester the choice between 30 free pages or the cost of photocopying 137 pages.

The Canadian Press was never offered the choice and, in any case, had already paid the fee.

The Stephen Harper Party of Canada -- selflessly defending the budgets of news services, $27.40 at a time.

When Blogging Tories forget their talking points, it gets ugly in a hurry.


Briefly demonstrating a flicker of principle and consistency, Blogging Tory "BC Blue" very, very gently takes Retard-bot Sarah Palin to task for her hypocrisy:

Oh my, this doesn’t look good for someone who criticized Obama for being a “Charismatic guy with a teleprompter.”

Unsurprisingly, BC Blue's faithful commenters immediately turn on him for his savage, treasonous, disgusting disloyalty. We won't be having any of that free-thinking and coherent punditry in Stephen Taylor's house, no fucking way.

P.S. Commenter "The Aviator" writes what we suspect everyone else is thinking:

Doesn’t look good? You’re comparing a couple of words to a @#$%^ teleprompter. I suggest that you change your blog title and drop off Blogging Tories if you are going to play stupid liberal games!

Yeah! Fucking fair and balanced asswipe! Fuck you and your fairness, and your consistency, and your equal application of criticism regardless of ideology. Just fuck you, and take your fucking fairness and balance and just fuck off, OK?

Stephen Taylor must be so fucking proud.

Monday, February 08, 2010

The appalling retarditude of Sarah Palin.


Jesus Christ, it isn't even funny anymore:

Quick Fact: Palin repeats falsehood that Alaska produces "20 percent of the U.S. domestic supply of energy"

During an interview with Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace, Fox News contributor Sarah Palin falsely claimed that "20 percent of the US domestic supply of energy" comes from Alaska. In fact, according to the most recent data available from the Energy Information Administration, Alaska accounts for no more than 2.9 percent of total domestic energy production.

Honestly, how intellectually damaged do you have to be to take that basket case seriously?

Ezra Levant, and the case of the vanishing correction.


It's still unclear as to the significance of this -- it's just odd.

Blogwhore!


Whenever I feel like a little traffic, I leave a comment over at PZ's.



Yeah, that's pretty much what happens. In about 23 seconds.

Let the desperate Sarah-flavoured rationalizations begin.


[GREETINGS, PHARYNGULOIDS! FYI, Kate McMillan would be our (Canadian) version of, well, Michelle Malkin. Or Ann Coulter. Whichever's more repulsive.]

Having for months mocked Barack Obama mercilessly for his alleged reliance on a teleprompter, the screechy howler monkeys over at Kate McMillan's Special Ed Chicken and Rib Palace are suddenly forced to defend Sarah Palin and her childish crib sheet (link to Kate's if you really need to check it out).

First, there's the frantic appeal to conspiracy, mixed in with a little denigration and deliberate misspelling of Obama's name:

I found it hard to believe that Owebambam would use a teleprompter to speak at a grade school. I will double check to be certain that the ink wasn't put on [Palin's] hand after the speech. (Photoshop)

Posted by: Joe at February 8, 2010 1:04 AM

After a couple commenters seem to miss Kate's point, she is forced to type more slowly, appropriate for the grade school mentality that is her readership:

Eh, folks are missing the point here. If all I needed as prompts for a 45 minute speech were 6 words, I'd write them on my hand, too.

Posted by: Kate at February 8, 2010 1:18 AM

[Ed: As a commenter has already pointed out, Palin did not consult her hand during a "speech." It was, in fact, during a scripted interview, for which one has even less excuse to need help like that.]

Next, commenter "The Aviator" appears to understand his role as loyal stenographer:

The word crossed out looks like 'budget' to me, so Mrs. Palin decided to emphasize tax cuts rather than budget cuts. Regarding writing on one's hand - that has long been done in aviation with callsigns, etc, especially in the confines of a cockpit. If a speaker wants to remember a sequence while looking at the audience and not the podium it's a handy (get it?) idea. I used to give a 1 1/2 lecture with four cue cards; if you know your subject, you don't need a teleprompter. To give a speech with just four points shows competence; I'm impressed.

Posted by: Aviator at February 8, 2010 1:23 AM

Not to be outdone, commenter Jeff Cosford is equally thrilled with Palin's ability to need only half a dozen words to carry her through a softball interview:

Yup gotta agree with Kate if you can go out and speak at a major speaking engagement like this one and do it with a few notes on your hand my hats off to you.

The heat of the lights, the terror when speaking in front of crowd that is so focused on every word a laser couldn't get more focused.

Now that is gravitas.

Posted by: Jeff Cosford at February 8, 2010 1:26 AM

Shortly thereafter, the floodgates of unthinking adulation swing open:

@Joe,

The video of Obama using teleprompters at a grade school was hosted at whitehouse.gov.

Kate wrote, "Now is the time at SDA when we juxtapose!"

Love it, love it, love it! Kate gives a crisp clean coup de grĂ¢ce to the bleating liberals.

Posted by: Looking Glass at February 8, 2010 1:41 AM


Sadly, some commenters show up, hopelessly ignorant of what actually happened but, by God, they're not going to be left out of the panty-moistening adoration:

I'm impressed. 45 minutes with 6---1 word cues.....amazing.

Except that what was written wasn't "6---1 word cues". Let us refresh our memory as to what Palin had scrawled on her hand to help her through an interview that was in the friendliest confines imaginable:

Energy
Budget Tax cuts
Lift American spirits

Six words, representing only three individual topics. And, seriously, one has to wonder how intellectually limited one has to be to not remember something like "Energy". Or "Lift American spirits." No matter. Thrusting reality brutally to one side, Kate's regulars continue to dig through Palin's panty drawer, looking for anything to be used as an article of mindless worship:

Sarah Palin's hand cues look like she represents the "common Americans" while Obama's teleprompters look like Barry is in bed with the elites by comparison.

I think the American people are longing for someone who they can really relate to, someone who will listen to them, someone genuine.

Sarah Palin used to work as a commercial fisherman with that hand.
She holds the stock of her rifle steady with that hand.

Posted by: Oz at February 8, 2010 2:00 AM

The dumbassitude continues as "CJ" also proves incapable of counting to three, and stopping there:

It's hard to see anything wrong with this. I assume there are five or six words there because there are five or six subjects that she wants covered. She can just look at the hand for a quick check to make sure she hasn't missed one of these essential topics. She's been doing a lot of public speaking lately, so she knows what she wants to say about each of them.

Nothing she does is going to please the media. If she speaks extemporaneously (which she is -- a few words on your palm aren't going to get you through a speech if you don't know the material) then they say she's amateurish. If she used a teleprompter like Obama, they'd say she was scripted by handlers.

Posted by: CJ at February 8, 2010 2:24 AM

And, predictably, it just goes downhill from there:

Also take note of the fact that the writing on the hand is not blurred from sweaty palms.

My guess is that this is someone that can construct a speech from scratch by asking one simple question.
"What did you want me to speak about?"
Then goes on stage and does it. She knows what to say and has a response to the questions.
Whereas that other guy doesn't even ask, he just has his lines fed to him and has no idea what he answers are.

Posted by: gimbol at February 8, 2010 6:53 AM

gimbol, she doesn't even have to ask. She knows!! She is one of them. Unlike most of the other so called politicians in Washington (Ottawa, London, etc.)

Posted by: Louise at February 8, 2010 6:58 AM


So, to recap, using a teleprompter to assist in giving lengthy, complex monologues? Loser!!! Needing to remind yourself that, as a die-hard conservative, you should talk about tax cuts, and apparently being unable to remember six words without assistance? Teh Awesome!!1!111!!!

This would be amusing, if it weren't so sad.

BONUS TOWEL SNAP TO THE NADS: You had to know PZ would be all over this as well.

OFFS! Having exhausted the moderately idiotic defenses for Palin's childish cheating, SDA commenter "manotick" now proposes that Caribou Barbie is just too clever for the rest of us:

I have to laugh at everyone on this one. The whole world is going crazy on this crib notes thing - the progressive liberals mocking this high schoolish bathing beauty moron and her admirers amazed at how smart she is.

But no one yet has got the message...a message that was intended for only one person. Sarah, my friends, has a tremendous sence of humour...with a nice touch of sarcasm thrown in. And that hand thing was a clear personal shot across the bow at Obama. And he knows it. He saw that and must have riled. Instead of 6000 words on a teleprompter...she only needs a "handful.

She truly is brilliant...good on her.

I'd mock that but, really, that would be so painfully redundant.

JJ WEIGHS IN: Go. Read.

When unbelievably retarded Hunters blog.


Blogging Tory "Hunter" is major-league proud of her mad rhetorical skillz:

Well Don't They Look Like Fools Now!

So, the feminists blathered all over the place about a Focus on the Family ad, yapping about how it should not be allowed, and giving it lots of advance publicity so that we were watching for it. We have satellite so we get the American commercials. If the feminists hadn't created such a fuss, I would have had no clue that this commercial was an anti-abortion ad...

I see nothing wrong with the ad and if more people go and visit Focus on the Family, that's the whole idea isn't it? I think all the feminists look like fools right about now, but that is nothing new for them. I guess they are just jealous because they didn't think of creating their own ad.

Well, Hunter, aside from the fact that Pam Tebow's story appears to be utter shash, the reason some people are annoyed is that CBS has long had a "no advocacy" policy which they used to justify rejecting other people who wanted to make a point:

The networks and the NFL have repeatedly rejected advocacy ads — including by progressive organizations. In 2004, CBS rejected MoveOn.org’s 30-second ad about President Bush, which Salon called “a low-key attack on Bush’s fiscal irresponsibility that’s unlikely to make anyone very angry.” The network has said that it doesn’t accept spots where “substantial elements of the community (are) in opposition to one another.” Last year, NBC rejected a 30-second public service announcement about marriage equality. Anti-consumerist activist Kalle Lasn and PETA have also had their ads turned down under the “no advocacy” policy.

Once again, Hunter opens mouth only to plant both feet firmly in up to her knees. I've long since stopped being surprised.

BY THE WAY, HUNTER
, you screeching idiot, I'm amused by your infantile jab here:

I think all the feminists look like fools right about now, but that is nothing new for them. I guess they are just jealous because they didn't think of creating their own ad.

Yes, Hunter ... creating their own ad ... what a stroke of genius that would have been. If only they'd thought of that. Oh, wait ... they did:

Furthermore, CBS has refused to allow Planned Parenthood to buy airtime to run an ad countering the dangerous message that the "Tebow Ad" contains.

I'm begging you, Hunter, for the love of God and everything else you consider holy, shut the fuck up. Seriously. You are a one-woman army that makes women look like total retards.

Stop it. Women everywhere will thank you.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Ezra, Ezra, Ezra ...


We're watching you now.

In case you missed it, ...


... let me summarize the Super Bowl opening ceremonies and pre-game show for you:



I'm sure that'll hold you for the next several years as well.

Your CC HQ reading assignment, should you decide to accept it.


Mock the following Blogging Tory in at least five totally independent ways:

The last days of broadcast news

Fin de siecle CBS News is not a happy place, at least according to this headline - 90 CBS News employees cut, Couric keeps $14 million salary. Also ponder this quote from a disgruntled CBS employee,

“She makes enough to pay 200 news reporters $75,000 a year!" demands a veteran producer. "It's complete insanity."

Meanwhile, showing all the tact and sensitivity of Marie Antoinette, Katie Couric “frolics in Haute Couture and diamonds” (according to the Drudge Report headline) in this over-the-top Harper’s Bazaar video shoot.

Considering that Fox News generates more profit than CNN, MSNBC, ABC News, NBC News and CBS News combined, it can only be a matter of time before one of the broadcast news services (as opposed to cable) switches over to a conservative format. My guessing is that one of them would have done it by now except that they are afraid of US government retribution while Obama inhabits the White House. However if the Republicans take Congress in 2010 and it becomes clear that President Obama is a lame duck, look for a dramatic switch sometime in 2011.

The one to look for? My guess, CBS. They’ve go the lowest ratings, and they can save about $13.5 million on the newsreaders salary right off the top.

There is no need to show your work -- minimally aware people will understand why you're laughing at him.

And ... go.

Quitbull! Juxtapose!


True to form, Blogging Tory "Hunter" squeals with glee over Sarah Palin to the point where a change of underwear is required.

And then there's the brutal reality.



So howzabout all you twatwaffles shut the hell up about Obama and his teleprompter?

BONUS HUNTERITUDE: A snippet from Brenda's regular Friday unfunnies:



HAHAHAHAHAHA!! OHMIGOD, what wit! They all look alike to Brenda! I'm sure it works the same way for her with Muslims. But that's just a guess.

THE CREAMY UNDEROO ADORATION CONTINUES: Who else but Jabba the Roy?

The media and the left may hate her, but I think it is more that they fear her.

Yes, Jabba ... the fear is palpable. That's your story and you're sticking to it.

SOMEONE'S A TOUCH DEFENSIVE: Poor Hunter ... SQ calls her out on Sarah's crib notes, and Hunter is not taking it well:

SQ if you had bothered to listen, she clearly states that she is returning the money to the cause. How about Gore, does he return the money to his cause?

And by "not taking it well," I naturally mean ignoring that question in its entirety. Jesus, how dumb do you have to be to need to remind yourself:

Energy
Budget Tax cuts
Lift American spirits

Palin needs help to remember six words? Jesus, most Labrador Retrievers have a larger vocabulary than that. Even the dumb ones.

And that whole "Innocent until proven guilty" bullshit? Whassup with that?


"Canadian Conservatives" founder Craig Smith is sick up to here with all that "due process" crap he keeps hearing about:

Liberals (lower case) make me sick. Absolutely sick. This is the history behind Omar Khadr...

So, he was fighting against allied (including Canadian) forces in Afghanistan, i.e. he was an enemy who willfully took up arms against allied troops.

In February 2008, the Pentagon accidentally released documents that revealed that although Khadr was present in the house, there was no other evidence that he had thrown the grenade. In fact, military officials had originally reported that
another of the surviving militants had thrown the grenade just before
being killed, and later rewrote their report to implicate Khadr instead.[3] Defence lawyers have also suggested that the soldier may have been killed by friendly fire by his own comrades.[4]
It was later determined that Khadr had been crippled, blinded and
trapped beneath rubble at the time, and American soldiers weren't even
aware of his presence until one stepped on his prone body.

So, because he may not have thrown the grenade he is innocent? Really?

Yeah! I mean, what the fuck? He might be innocent just because he didn't actually kill anyone? Motherfucker! What's the legal system coming to?

Craig follows that up with some thoughful, lifestyle advice:

Sickening. I guess the lesson to take away from all of this is that if you are a Muslim living in Canada, have a burning hatred of western values, and want to become a millionaire, make your way to Afghanistan, take up arms against Americans and their allies, get captured, hope you get subjected to sleep deprivation, and then sue Canadian taxpayers for $10 million dollars.

Hey - if you aren't currently Muslim this may be as good a reason as any to convert.

I mean, sure, there's RRSPs and careful retirement planning that involves sane and sober analysis and reflection. And there's Craig's idea, too.

Time for another line of work, Steve.


Dear Stephen:

Please fuck off and resign so you can do whatever the hell you want. And leave the governing to people who are actually interested and want to do it well.

Yours truly,
Someone who wants you to fuck off and resign

Saturday, February 06, 2010

I Miss The 70s

What the left hand giveth, the right hand taketh away.


Oh, man ... where can I get a gig like this?

Bernard Prigent, Pfizer’s inside man
PM Harper's appointment of drug company's VP to Canadian Institutes of Health Research is also a registered lobbyist ... to CIHR.

Last October, the Harper government appointed Bernard Prigent to the governing council of the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, the federal agency that distributes about a billion dollars annually for health research. That appointment was met with near-universal condemnation from medical ethicists, because Prigent is a vice-president of Pfizer Canada, a firm that stands to profit from the decisions made at CIHR.

And here's the latest punchline (emphasis tail-waggingly added):

... not only is Prigent a vice president of Pfizer, but he is also a registered lobbyist for Pfizer. That information is only now coming to light, and has never been previously reported. According to the Office of the Commissioner of Lobbying of Canada, the government agency that regulates lobbyists, Prigent's position as Pfizer lobbyist is to sway policy at the "Canadian Institute of Health Researchers (CIHR) and other Research Oriented Spending Programs as it relates to private/public research and development partnerships," and Prigent is to achieve these aims through both oral and written techniques.

In other words, Prigent the Pfizer lobbyist is paid to lobby Prigent the CIHR official.

On the bright side, being both the briber and the bribee has its advantages -- paper bags of money are so much easier to hand over, don't you think?

(Wag of the tail to e-mailer "CA".)

When stupid Blogging Tories blog.


Faithfully regurgitating the meme we identified back here, we have Blogging Tory Russ Campbell obediently falling into line, exposing the anti-prorogation forces for the nefarious partisans they are, being members of, you know, other political parties and such.

This is in direct contrast to the previous year's anti-coalition campaign, promoted as it was by that well-known non-partisan Stephen Taylor.

I really need more of a challenge in this job.

Your regular Ezratude.


Just start here and go.

Submitted without comment.


Never a dull moment:

Jim Pankiw announces return to politics, says he 'doesn't need the media' to win federal riding

Former MP Jim Pankiw had two messages for reporters who accepted his invitation to a press conference Thursday.

"Yeah, I'm running in the next federal election in Saskatoon-Humboldt as an independent," the 43-year-old chiropractor told a roomful of journalists after a series of introductory remarks about his personal background and views on what he considers to be "race-based privileges" for aboriginal Canadians.

"And I will win," he said. "And I don't need the media." ...

"And what really pisses me off is that I pay taxes and the government takes my money and gives it to people, other people, who don't have that kind of a work ethic. They get free housing, free education, free health care -- holy Christ, hunting and fishing privileges, going to university for free, while I was sleeping on a concrete floor. This has to stop. This is ridiculous." ...

When asked why he would call a press conference if he wants to avoid the media, Pankiw said, "I don't know, to rub it in your face. Because I don't need you."

Pankiw went on to accuse aboriginals of being racist, which is where I stopped reading. Really, there was enough entertainment value already.

AFTERSNARK: Courtesy of Lady Alison, nineteen minutes and 39 seconds of your life you'll never get back. Don't say I never did nuthin' for you.


You can feel the love.


And over at Kate McMillan's Biker Bar and Crappy Airbrush Emporium, we have the inevitable outpouring of sympathy:



And Kathy Shaidle's constant whining about her lupus? Jesus, put a sock in it already, you attention whore.

The man who would (not) be Prime Minister.


Given that he's prorogued Parliament twice, called an unnecessary federal election in violation of his own "fixed election dates" legislation and, most recently, admitted that he'd rather be a hockey player than Prime Minister, it seems safe to ask whether there's ever been a Prime Minister who, apart from his naked lust for power at any cost, has ever been this monumentally disinterested in the job as Stephen Harper.

I mean, really, when you're too fucking lazy to even walk over to prorogue Parliament and you just phone it in, you pretty much don't give a rat's ass anymore.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Pithy. It's what's for dinner.


Stephen Harper: "If the Opposition is so concerned about time lost to prorogation, I'll cancel some holidays so we can catch up, and I assume they will have no objection to that, and it will make me look like a politically tactical genius."

Proper response to the above: "Dear Stephen: Awesomely stupid, fucking decisions on your part do not constitute an emergency on our part."

I'm sure you see my point.

Your mission: Today's CC HQ reader challenge.


Via the Progressive Economics Forum, we learn:

In January, Canada gained 43,000 jobs, almost all of them part-time. Any employment increase is certainly good news and some part-time positions might eventually become full-time positions.

One wonders, though, if the Stephen Harper Party of Canada -- currently sitting around "recalibrating" -- will take credit for this latest achievement. No, really ... once you prorogue Parliament, it seems only fair that you similarly prorogue taking credit for things that happen when Parliament isn't in session.

So let's see how quickly Canada's Blogging Tories jump on the "Hey, we're creating new jobs!" meme. Feel free to leave links to any of Stephen Taylor's loyal fluffers who are now bragging about good things that happen when their heroes aren't even around.

I'd do it myself, but I'm feeling lazy. Deal with it.

There isn't enough tin-foil on the planet for this.


Oh, no! Busted!

(Wag of the tail to earlier commenter Paladiea.)


OH, CHRIST
: Is it worth enumerating the set of Canada's wingnuts who are now stroking themselves into wall stains over this?

Should we keep a list? Seriously.

Quickly, to my fainting couch!


Two of Canada's more delicate wallflowers must protect their sensitive ears from the appalling incivility:



I kept a straight face while posting this only because nothing shocks me anymore.

Suddenly, the media are their BFFs. Go figure.


Having for the longest time treated Canada's mainstream media with about the same respect as Ezra Levant treats accuracy, Stephen Harper's HarperCons are suddenly just the back-slappingest of buddies and everything (emphasis tail-waggingly added):

OTTAWA - The Harper government has jettisoned its bunker-style media strategy and the parliamentary calendar as it scrambles to undo the self-inflicted damage over its decision to suspend Parliament.

The suddenly media-hungry Conservatives trotted out a pair of cabinet ministers Thursday to assure Canadians they're hard at work - and that a new proposal to cancel two parliamentary spring breaks is not just a cynical political ploy...

Thursday marked the second time in as many days that ministers have met with reporters to offer a summary of their work at a pre-budget cabinet retreat. Their sudden accessibility is in stark contrast to the Harper government's normal routine, which is to refuse to even disclose when cabinet meets, much less what went on.

Over the past two weeks, Harper and his ministers have held a series of news conferences, photo-ops and briefings to demonstrate they're hard at work. Harper has also shuffled his cabinet and appointed a raft of new senators.

It's amazing who you'll suddenly pal around with when you're fighting for your political life.

Pay attention, 'cuz I'm only saying this once.



Strategery! The tactical brilliance of Stephen Harper.


Over at Progressive Bloggers, a number of Canada's not-crazy people are rolling their eyes over Stephen Harper's offer to cancel upcoming vacation to make up for prorogation. Said progressive bloggers are quite confident (as am I) in thinking that this is a totally dickhead move that should blow up in Harper's face, and simply proves how frantically he is looking for damage control.

Over at the Blogging Tories, it's a different story:

No March Break For You!

In a true Seinfield move our Government has cancelled March Break and an additional week without the prior consent of the opposition parties to highlight the political games over prorogue.

The sitting days were reduced by 17 days and now have been restored unless the opposition refuse to honour this change. Checkmate Larry, Curly Moe!

CanadianSense's commenters are equally agog at the ruthless ingenuity of King Stephen:

The_Iceman said...

Is it official? If so that is a brilliant move.
February 3, 2010 10:10 PM

hunter said...

Old Taber lies and says it was 4 months, what a lying hag!

The heat is back on the opposition, they have to agree or look like fools. I would love for them all to not show up, that would leave the government to govern, imagine the amount of bills that would get passed!
February 3, 2010 10:12 PM

Fay said...

Another great post!!! You are on Roll...I was watching Tom Clark when Robert Fife announced this at the end of his show. Tommy's face went very red and he appeared mad. Why would he care if he is allegedly non-partison.?
February 3, 2010 10:41 PM

Bec said...

The signs of a professional journalist hey Fay? A red angry face...haha, what a baby Tommy has been and is, honestly.

Great post CS!! You indeed are on a roll but doncha just love the ranters at the Globe piece? These people are truely pathetic and really, really uninformed on the REALITIES of Paliament.
February 3, 2010 11:10 PM

CanadianSense said...

Bert,

The tactician know as Harper is brilliant. The MSM has spent over four weeks fueling outrage for a short delay in parliament sitting.

Net result: The PM has shown the issue was fake by putting extra days back in the calendar without the prior consent of the three parties leaving them to complain how unfair and undemocratic this move is to force them to work and make up for the "Harper Holidays".

Cake anyone?

Priceless!

The PM has now increased his authority in the parliament by virtue of the relentless antics of our disloyal opposition. They again have refused to hold adult conversation and provide real ideas into the new budget for 2010.
February 4, 2010 10:22 AM

When reality arrives for these people, it will not be kind. But that's just a guess.

P.S. It's amusing to watch "CanadianSense" still too mind-crunchingly stupid to have figured out that whole historical prorogation thing:

I have made fun of the three stooges in opposition who have undermined our democratic institutions for playing games on a constitutional tool deployed 105 times in a country that is 105 [sic] years old.

Here at CC HQ, we have already addressed that idiocy. Honestly, it's like there's real bloggers, and then there's the Special Ed class over there in the Stephen Taylor wing.

AND SPEAKING OF "AGOG"
... courtesy of Montreal Simon:

The B.C. legislature is slightly agog over next week's pending visit by Prime Minister Stephen Harper. Apparently, he intends to address the chamber Thursday...Apparently, the visit was not by invitation from the provincial government. Rather it was Ottawa's idea.

That whole "agog" thing? Pure coincidence. Really.

IF I MIGHT BE SO BOLD, surely someone in the Liberal Party of Canada has come up with a savagely stinging comeback for Harper's latest descent into fascism. If it were me, it would go something like this:

"I'm pleased to see that Prime Minister Harper finally appreciates how much work needs to be done, and regrets that unfortunate exercise in prorogation. Personally, I can't wait to resume the committees looking into the alleged torture of Afghan detainees. And I'm sure the PM feels the same. Time's a wastin'. Let's get it on."

Or something equally snappy and clever.