Here at Canadian Cynic Research Laboratories Inc., we are always striving for new ways to make the Canadian conservative author more coherent. Todays test subject is a certain S. Janke. We chose a sample paragraph from one of his sub-literate screeds. The sample was chosen from the approximate point in the article at which S. Janke made wet in his trousers.
The procedure is quite simple and painless. The sample text was fed into the intertubular translatorizer and remogriphied into pidgin Icelandic. After the flux capacitors cool to a functional temperature, the process is reversed, from the Icelandic into fluent Conservativese. The process is not perfected and there is still much work to be done but I'm sure you will agree that S. Janke's feeble thoughts are well served by this procedure.
The Original:
"Hypocrisy! cry the Liberals. There is nothing premature about it! What about Gomery?
And anyway, Brian Mulroney ended his tenure as prime minister 14 years ago. Going back to the past like that smacks of a witch hunt, where Canadians are more worried about what issues face them today."
The New & Improved:
"hypocrisy yell the Permissive. There is nobody premature crazy about there!;fn) crazy about Gomery? And nevertheless Brian Mulroney ended his tenure as though Prime Minister 14 year pay lip service to. Snuggle up to go back to the past like that spot with a witch hunting, where Canadian art further anxious crazy about ;fn) number face then today."
Some day, with continued research, all Conservatives will be helped to achieve the fullness of their dubious potential. Your generous donations could help to keep a lunkhead like S. Janke from wandering into traffic or bothering the polite company. Please give generously to the publican of your choice.
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Posts about Janke should always feature an image of the bucket-head. He's a hideously ugly person. About as ugly as Richard Evan's wife.
...oops. Sorry. That was "lookist" of me. I'll delete that comment.
What language is that anyways?
I see you're still a class act, tigger.
fergusrush: The "Wayne" of snappy putdowns.
I don't know where these people get the idea that I care, one way or the other, whether I come off classy or not. In any case, half the time they accuse me of being a snob and the other half, they accuse of being low class.
Make up your damn minds, already.
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