Dear wanks: Take your fake outrage and ...

Perhaps the most amusing observation that can be made about the Canadian Right's utterly artificial outrage over this recent political cartoon from the Toronto Star:



is the following: Regardless of how much drooling spittle Canada's wanks choose to expend, neither the cartoonist nor the Star owe Canada's military even the most miniscule apology, and for a very simple reason -- that cartoon said nothing one way or the other about the military. But first, a history lesson.

One can't help but be reminded of the relatively recent American MoveOn ad, which questioned the credibility of one Gen. David Petraeus -- an ad whose text you can read in its entirety here. Go read it now. Take your time, no rush -- we'll still be here when you get back.

Dum de dum dum ...

Ah, there we go. Now, notice anything significant about the actual text in that ad? Why, yes -- if you weren't a complete retard or a Blogging Tory, you might have noticed that that ad said absolutely nothing derogatory about American troops in general. Rather, that ad very deliberately and explicitly criticized Petraeus and no one else, so to accuse MoveOn of denigrating American troops would be dishonest swill of the highest order.

Sadly, it didn't stop execrable douchebags like Commander Chimpy of making precisely that accusation:

But the president was upset, and he showed it. Tossed a typical soft-ball question at a presidential press conference Thursday morning, Bush responded by saying, "I thought that the ad was disgusting. I felt like the ad was an attack, not only on General Petraeus, but on the U.S. military."

Why, yes, that was a totally douchebaggy thing Bush did -- taking criticism aimed specifically at Petraeus and dishonestly misrepresenting it for political purposes. And you can see where I'm going with this, can't you?

Look again at the Star cartoon, and note precisely who's being ridiculed. Why, yes, there's Canadian Prime Minister Captain Charisma, and there's his faithful military lapdog Rick Hillier.

And no one else.

And, no, you don't get to project that cartoon onto anyone else, least of all Canada's military. Harper deserves to be ridiculed for his rancid political posturing, just as Hillier deserves to be held in contempt for his slobbering, sycophantic, public worship of the Conservative platform. And that's where that cartoon ends.

It's utter crap to suggest that the people responsible for that cartoon need to apologize to anyone. That cartoon quite correctly held both Harper and Hillier up to (oh so richly deserved) public ridicule, while not suggesting even the teensiest criticism of Canada's military in general.

So, in a word -- and how to put this diplomatically for Canada's Moron-o-sphere -- fuck right off. I realize this might be difficult for you to grasp, but no one owes you or Canada's troops an apology for an affront that exists only in your deluded, feverish intellects, and the sooner you come to grips with that, the better.

And as a recent commenter suggested here, you might take the advice of one Bill Maher: If your fake outrage hard-on lasts more than 72 hours, well, you might want to seek medical attention.