FEMA promises to have better excuses in place for next disaster.

(CC News) -- Stung by mounting criticism that it simply wasn't ready for the devastating effects of Hurricane Katrina, FEMA director Mike Brown, during a televised press conference, promised to have far better excuses in place for the next natural disaster.

Said Brown, "There's no question that we just weren't ready for this. All of us at FEMA were sure our Category 3 excuses would be sufficient. Clearly, that just wasn't the case."

Explained Brown, "There's no doubt we were over-confident. I mean, we were sure that simply laying the blame on the folks who didn't evacuate, even if they were poor, old, sick or had no way of getting out of the city, was going to hold up fine. But, sadly, that excuse was just no match for the massive storm surge."

"What made it even worse," continued Brown, "is that all of our really top-tier Category 4 and 5 excuses are currently deployed in Iraq, so we have to make do with what we have. And, as we found out, that just wasn't good enough."

"But, as I stand here," concluded Brown, "I want to promise the American people that we have, even as I speak, pulled hard-working emergency workers off of actual relief work and they're already busy designing stronger, more durable excuses for the next disaster. When they're done, I think the public will see a new set of excuses that we, as a nation, can all be proud of."

In only moderately-related news, the White House announced that President Bush would make another trip to the disaster area since, in the confusion and chaos of his first visit, he totally forgot to rub the head of a bald, black person.