Wednesday, January 04, 2012

The Saga of Patrick Ross -- Part the Sixth: Denouement

[Scroll to bottom for Dec 23, 2012 (and more recent) update.]

Part 1.
Part 2.
Part 3.
Part 4.
Part 5.

At this point, I think it's time to make one big push and wrap this up with a huge, ugly, Patrick Ross-flavoured bow, at which point you'll be getting your homework assignment. And you knew that was coming, so don't look surprised.

I suspect a number of readers are wondering, why the hell has this been taking so long? After all, the inordinately brief summary of the judgment from back in November of 2010 seems pretty clear on what Patrick Ross is required to do, and how quickly he's required to do it:

And here's where the novel property of a default judgment comes in.

Make no mistake -- the fact that Patrick Ross was so incompetent as to be unable to file a simple Statement of Defence within the legally-mandated deadline worked out MASSIVELY in my favour, allowing me to present my side of the case unopposed (although one imagines that even if Patrick Ross had filed and been present in court, I'm thinking he would have had a hard time defending his actions). But a default judgment also has an obvious downside.

As explained to me, the legal requirements of a default judgment kick in only after the judgment has been personally served on the victim, uh, defendant. If Patrick Ross had had the sense God gave a urinal deodorizer disc and hired a lawyer, this wouldn't be an issue. But the fact that Patrick Ross was in default meant that I had to find him after I won my judgment and serve him personally with a copy of that judgment before it would be considered in effect.

So let's make a long story short -- due to some miscommunications and also due to some astonishingly retarded U of Alberta frat brothers, it was April 29 of 2011 before a process server was able to put a copy of said judgment in Patrick Ross' pudgy hands, at which point the 15-day clock finally started ticking on his legal obligations to, among other things, get rid of every trace of any reference to me from his rancid sewer pipe of a blog. But that April 2011 service carried with it another time-critical obligation, as you can see here:

That would be the ominous "FINANCIAL STATEMENT OF DEBTOR" reference, which required Patrick Ross to list, in agonizing detail, every one of his assets, again with a 15-day deadline. After all, I can't take everything he owns until I have an inventory of everything he owns. And that is one mother of a scary form, as you can see here.

In short, as of the April 29, 2011 personal service on Patrick Ross, he now had a hard, 15-day legal deadline to do two things:

  • Remove a couple hundred posts from his so appropriately named blog "Nexus of Assholery", and

  • Submit an "under oath" list of every one of his earthly assets.

You'll never guess what Patrick Ross did next. Go on, guess. You'll never guess.


That's right -- having been physically located and having had some very serious legal documents with very serious legal deadlines crammed into his sweaty, sausage-like hands, Patrick Ross ... ignored them. I am not making this up.

After more than 15 days had gone by with nothing from defendant Patrick "Kid Cash Thunderbolt Assholery Nexus" Ross, my Alberta lawyer sent him a polite but firm e-mail, reminding him that (and I paraphrase) we were through fucking around and it was time for Patrick Ross to take this seriously or very bad things were liable to happen.

The response to this reminder was the hilarious, "What? You didn't get my documents? But I sent them! Oh, noez, I'll send them again, I promises!" And that's the last we ever heard from Patrick Ross, which is where things stand today. We have no idea where Patrick Ross is to be found, but we're fairly confident that when he is found, he will be in a world of trouble for his contemptuous dismissal of both the properly-served judgment and the properly-served Financial Statement of Debtor.

Anyone who's been following this clusterfuck for a while is well aware that Patrick Ross has always fancied himself quite the brilliant legal intellect. And yet, it would be hard to imagine how anyone could screw things up more than Patrick Ross has.

Patrick Ross has dug himself one monstrously deep and dark hole, and when he's found, life will become very unpleasant for him in a hurry. And it didn't have to be this way.

Patrick Ross was given every opportunity to walk back his malicious defamation. Instead, what we got was a constant litany of "Blar har har, OMFG!!" cackling, insults, threats, intimidation, and some of the stupidest legal strategy in the history of mullet-headed douchebaggery. And while Patrick Ross might want to play the aggrieved victim, he knows that he has only himself to blame for the shitstorm that his life is about to turn into when we track him down.

And that's your homework assignment. I'll shortly be posting everything we know about U of Alberta student and frat idiot Patrick Ross, but feel free to get a jump on the crowd. Ask around. Put out feelers. Follow the overpowering stench of dumbassitude. Whatever it takes. And when Patrick Ross is finally dragged into a courtroom to explain his actions, I'm guessing it's going to turn out very badly for him, indeed.

But that's just a hunch.

ADDENDUM: If one pops by Patrick Ross' now-dormant, craptacular blog "Nexus of Assholery," one will find very few blog posts left defaming me, but that has nothing to do with the co-operation of Patrick Ross.

Armed with a copy of the judgment, my lawyer and I convinced Google and Blogger Support to remove some 200+ posts that clearly infringed on the judgment. We got rid of that crap, since Patrick Ross made it clear he wasn't going to do it himself.

Seriously, when Patrick Ross is finally located and dragged before a judge, he will learn just how shitty his life is going to become.

DEC 23, 2012 UPDATE:  Just so no one invests any more time tracking down the fugitive defendant Patrick Ross for me,  this is the resolution of Patrick Ross' years of malicious defamation and legal evasion. That's right -- the yammering loon who relentlessly and condescendingly lectured others on accountability and personal responsibility and law & order and his own dizzying intellect recently hied himself to a bankruptcy trustee in Saskatoon and demanded that the government bail him out of his self-inflicted financial humiliation.

There is a certain irony when someone who perpetually mocks socialism and government aid and handouts and entitlement proceeds to, when the chips are down, scurry for the taxpayer-funded protection of personal bankruptcy when their troubles are entirely of their own making.  But if you're familiar with Patrick Ross, absolutely none of the above should surprise you.

At this point, Patrick Ross is welcome to his new lifestyle as a 31-YO, recently bankrupt, jobless university dropout living (literally, I am not joking) in his parents' basement in Lloydminster.  I hope it works out for him.  Most people have loftier ambitions.

AH, IRONY:  In which malicious defamer, legal fugitive, twice-found in Civil Contempt of Court and recent bankrupt Patrick Ross lectures others on taking personal responsibility for how their life turned out. You can't make this stuff up.

EPIC SELF-AWARENESS FAIL:  In a truly monumental display of lack of awareness, the 31-year-old, unemployed (and now almost certainly unemployable) recently-bankrupt, $85,000 legal judgment worth of convicted libeler and college dropout who now lives in his parents' basement in Lloydminster and spends hours a day shrieking manically at the pixels on his Cheetos-encrusted computer screen will now lecture others on how their online persona is affecting their future employment prospects.

Yeah, let's go with that.

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