Scottie? Scottie? Over here ...

I realize this is kind of kicking a man when he's down but when that man is Tom DeLay, there's no such thing as a good time to stop. As many (including your humble author) have noted, Tom "The Chicken" DeLay suddenly bailed on a conference designed for right-wing lunatic wingnuts all about the judicial war on faith, claiming that he was (and I am quoting directly from the schedule here) suddenly called to more important matters:

Congressman Lamar Smith will speak in place of Tom DeLay, who was called to Rome as part of the US delegation attending the Pope's funeral.

Excuse me? One does not just get "called to Rome". And how exactly does DeLay think he's going to weasel his way into the U.S. delegation? According to this online Yahoo piece:

Former Presidents Bush and Clinton will accompany President Bush to the funeral of Pope John Paul II, the White House said Tuesday. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice will also be part of the small official U.S. delegation, but former Presidents Carter and Ford will not.

The president and his wife, Laura, will lead the group representing the United States at the funeral on Friday, said White House press secretary Scott McClellan.

McClellan said the White House "reached out" to Carter, but he would not explain why Carter was not going along.

A spokesman at The Carter Center in Atlanta, Jon Moore, said Carter — relishing the memories of two visits as president with the pontiff — had told the White House he wanted to go to the funeral. Upon learning that the Vatican was limiting the U.S. delegation to five people and that "there were also others who were eager to attend," Carter was "quite willing" to withdraw his request, Moore said.

Now, if you count carefully (and, for you mathematically-challenged freepers, you should need only the fingers on one hand), you'll notice that the explicitly-identified members of the U.S. delegation do, indeed, total five exactly. Which makes one wonder -- how exactly are they going to squeeze DeLay in there?

To that end, if someone has time between now and Friday and White House Press Reptile Scott McClellan has another gaggle, I think it would be just delightful if someone were to ask, "Scott, how exactly did Tom DeLay come to join the U.S. delegation going to Rome?" And let's be clear -- the question should be asked just that way, and the asker should have a copy of the lunatic conference's schedule in which DeLay begs off because he's just too popular a guy to leave behind.

That would be just too much fun for words -- watching Scottie tap dance desperately to avoid calling DeLay a liar and yet still having to hang him out to dry because he'd have no choice. What a shame none of the press corps have those kind of balls. Paging Helen Thomas ... your country needs you.