Canadian Cynic

Dems officially biased against everyone now

WASHINGTON (CC) - In a fairly predictable broadside against the Democratic Party, high-profile Republicans and other members of the right-wing media are accusing the Democrats of being racist since their new Senate leader, Harry Reid of Nevada, described Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas as an "embarrassment" and said he wouldn't support Thomas as the new Chief Justice.

"It's outrageous," fumed a prominent Republican, who wished to remain anonymous. "I mean, it's obvious that they don't like Thomas, not because he's an inarticulate, unaccomplished buffoon, porn addict and Antonin Scalia sock puppet, but just because he's black. I think it stinks."

Additional attacks included accusing the Dems of criticizing both outgoing Secretary of State Colin Powell and his imminent replacement Condolleeza Rice because of their race, and definitely not because both are simply incompetent, weaselly, pathological liars directly responsible for the deaths of thousands of Americans.

When Reid pointed out that the Democrats also adamantly opposed judgeship nominations for white judge Charles Pickering of Mississippi and white female judge Priscilla Owen of Texas (link here), White House spokesferret Scott McClellan lashed back, "Well, I think that just proves that the Democratic Party also discriminates against white women. And white men, too."

In a related development, the Bush administration announced its plans to nominate a Mexican hairless chihuahua for the next opening on the Supreme Court, to appeal to the Hispanic-canine demographic. "Let's see them oppose that nomination," crowed one Republican operative. "It'll just prove they don't like Mexicans. Or dogs."