Saturday, January 30, 2021

Rebel News "Grifters gonna grift" edition, episode 3,726.

Oh, yawn, here we goes again, with Ezra Levant howling in outrage over alleged censorship and harassment:

followed by the obligatory passing of the begging bowl:

To no one's surprise, the above is a massive misrepresentation of what happened, as one can read here in the actual judgment, but allow me to summarize. The violation had nothing to do with writing a book or "criticizing a politician," it had to do with the clear and obvious violation of Canada's election laws, as the summary makes abundantly clear:

And what does this mean? Let's continue reading, shall we?

Let me translate that for you. The violation had nothing whatever with simply writing a book; rather, it had to do with the fact that the book was clearly and admittedly published to coincide with the election, and therefore should have required Ezra and Rebel News to register as a third party, which would have obligated Ezra to:

This is not a difficult concept; Ezra could have avoided all of this utterly contrived outrage if he had simply registered as a third party under Canada's election laws. Instead, one suspects that Ezra deliberately flouted the law, precisely so he could be convicted of a violation as the basis for raising a hundred grand from his horrifically gullible followers for an utterly doomed appeal. I swear, if the citizens of "Rebel Nation" were any dumber, they'd be Joe Warmington.

POTENTIALLY INTERESTING DEVELOPMENT: Two issues to address here, based on recent developments.

First, commenter below asks whether third-party registration would, in some mysterious way, diminish Rebel News' reputation as a legitimate media organization, to which one can reasonably reply, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" No, really, I doubt it's physically possible to injure the reputation of Rebel News in any way, given that it is widely accepted as complete and utter garbage as it is. But that brings us to our second, more tantalizing point.

Overnight, I was gifted with an unsigned note (through an anonymizing remailer), suggesting that, despite Ezra's plea for $100K+ to fight this outrageous violation of free speech and free expression and freedom of the press and yadda yadda yadda, neither Ezra nor Rebel has any serious intention of appealing this fine, and the logic goes like this.

First, given Ezra's legal background (as crippled and deranged as it is), he would almost certainly realize that an appeal is doomed to failure. An appeal needs to be based on actual error in fact or law and, as you can see in the ruling above, the findings in the ruling are quite reasonable and are solldly based in black-and-white Canadian election law. There is nothing that is obviously incorrect or erroneous and, short of clear mistakes, an appeals court will simply let the ruling stand, and Ezra would know this, so any appeal has little to no chance of succeeding. But there's a more interesting observation.

As much as Ezra wants to feign outrage over the ruling, all of the available evidence suggests he knew this ruling was likely, and that he is actually secretly delighted, as it gives him the opportunity to froth at the mouth, and yammer on about being censored by Trudeau, and on and on and tediously on. And why would one think this?

Because Ezra has been down exactly this road before with Rebel's oil patch trailer trash Alberta Bureau Chief Sheila Gunn Reid and her utterly valueless (and allegedly ghost-written) piece of crap polemic "Stop Notley," which was also published to curiously coincide with the last Alberta provincial election, and which raised precisely the same issues:


In other words, Ezra is clearly aware of election law rules, which leads one to speculate (as was suggested to me) that Ezra published his book deliberately to provoke, hoping for precisely what happened as the basis for shrieking hysterically about censorship, and pleading pathetically for tens of thousands of dollars to fight the man, even as he realizes there is little chance of success, further suggesting that he might, in the end, not bother with the appeal, pay the $3,000 fine, and move on.

This is all wildly speculative but it makes a certain logical sense and, in the end, Ezra gets another KFC bucket full of cash:

which, if true, would surprise absolutely no one.

Friday, January 29, 2021

JUXTAPOSE!

Canada's wankers who were totally stoked about massive, violent, cop-killing insurrection in Washington, DC currently mocking Canada Post workers who were suspended for refusing to deliver "The Epoch Times," because protesters should understand the consequences of their actions, ya know?

Let the whiny culture of victimhood begin.

 


"If you openly support violent, armed insurrection, overturning an election and crapping all over basic democracy, it's horrifying that people just don't want to hang out with you anymore."

There ... fixed it for you.

You know it's coming.

It is only a matter of time until Ezra Levant runs a fundraiser for Marjorie Taylor Greene.

 



P.S. The great thing about Marjorie Taylor Greene is that she makes Sheila Gunn Reid look positively cerebral. And that takes some doing.

Thursday, January 28, 2021

P.S. Send money.

 


JUXTAPOSE!

Democrats: "Your new congresswoman openly approved of killing House Speaker Nancy Pelosi."



GOP: "Well, yeah, but Joe Biden wears a Rolex. A goddamned, motherfucking ROLEX!!!" So who's the real villain here? Huh? Huh?"

Wednesday, January 27, 2021

JUXTAPOSE!

PBS: Details of astonishing and horrifying right-wing conspiracy to kidnap Michigan governor Gretchen Whitmer:

New York Times: "Good God, Joe Biden wears a Rolex!!!"


I wish I was kidding.

The basement adventures of Baron Twatrick von Loadenhosen

Since a few people have been pestering me regarding the current deadbeat collection status of one Patrick Ross (who, as regular viewers will know, now owes me more than $100K related to a nad-crushing defamation judgment against him from 2010), I will reveal only that instructions have indeed been sent to the provincial sheriff to begin collection proceedings related to the recent costs levied against Patrick, with more collection filings to follow.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Tuesday, January 26, 2021

JUXTAPOSE!

U.S. Republicans who held 1,487 hearings over the course of 27 years over the deaths of four Americans in Benghazi now insist we need to "move on" from Donald Trump because his incitement of a deadly insurrection on U.S. soil is so, you know, last week.

I wish I was kidding.

Grifters gonna grift, Episode 5,932.

Shockingly, a Rebel News "journalist" has been arrested:


whereupon the Rebel News crowdfunding department swings into action:


whereupon, only hours later, it turns out that Avi was released without charges:


whereupon at least 442 donors are free to wonder exactly what their money was used for.

AFTERSNARK: I guess it beats getting a real job:


DOUBLE AFTERSNARK: Apparently, Avi has a shtick:


I'm starting to see where David Menzies and Keean Bexte get their inspiration.

Well, this is awkward.

Having, for years, bitched, whined, kvetched, moaned, squealed and howled with outrage over Omar Khadr being an alleged "terrorist," Rebel News' Ezra Levant taken aback that he's had one on payroll all this time.







That's kinda awkward.

Saturday, January 23, 2021

JUXTAPOSE!

Canadian conservatives, whose favourite PM Stephen Harper stacked the Senate with various right-wing hacks, cronies, bagmen, racists, bigots, imbeciles and sexual predators will now lecture Justin Trudeau on his alleged lack of judgment in vetting appointments.


Yeah, let's go there.

Hypothetically speaking ...

... if you opine that Rex Murphy never trends for the right reason, you will be excoriated as an amoral, uncaring, despicable monster by the same people who had no problem putting children in razor wire-topped cages.

I just thought that needed mentioning.

JUXTAPOSE!

Canadian conservatives: "It's entirely Justin Trudeau's fault that the choice of Governor General was not vetted to assure someone of outstanding and exemplary morals, ethics and character."

Also Canadian conservatives: "You know who'd make an awesome GG? Don Cherry, that's who!"

Friday, January 22, 2021

Time for White House to yank Fox News' press access

I have been saying for a while that the first act of a Biden administration should be to cancel Fox News' access to White House pressers, and it appears I am not alone.

Oh, yawn ...

At this point, they've simply given up pretending to be doing anything other than collecting your personal data so they can sell it to third parties for solicitation purposes:

Hilariously, some of the netizens of Twitter know exactly what's happening here:

Good for you, Bart.

Thursday, January 21, 2021

The burning stupid of Rebel News commenters.

An embarrassment of riches from which to pick, but this recent submission is too precious for words. Here's regular Rebel News contributor Bruce Atchison, pointing out the inherent flaws in solar power:


So, apparently, solar power doesn't work well when there's "too much" sunlight? And ignore the fact that, not only is there sunlight in the winter, but solar panels actually work more efficiently when it's cold. Ignore all the abysmal stupid in that comment and ask yourself, where in all of Canada would you be best equipped to take advantage of solar power? Oh, look:


The stupidity is mind boggling. I swear, Bruce is one of those yobs who will denigrate wind power with, "Well, what do you do when there's no wind? Huh? Did you ever think of that?"

Jesus ...

If Ted Cruz were any stupider ...

... he'd be Lorrie Goldstein.

Seriously, Ted Cruz is the Denise Batters of Linda Frums.

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

They really are as stupid as you'd heard.

Consider the level of brain damage it takes to not have figured this out until now.


Did you know ...

... that one anagram for "Trump Space Force" is "Parsec Rectum Fop?"

JUXTAPOSE!

Rebel News' Ezra Levant, who has called for the firing or expulsion of 157 different federal MPs over the years, suddenly outraged over the expulsion of a federal MP.


Real irony, not the Alanis Morrisette kind.

I don't know how it could end any more perfectly than this:



This is what Ted is talking about:


If I were any more amused, my tail would be wagging.

So ... how's that fellatiotastic hero worship working out for you? Oh, dear ...

Here's right-wing loonbat Cassandra Fairbanks, finally appreciating how she's been utterly conned for the last four years:


In other words, yes, these people really do think as slowly as you'd heard.

AFTERSNARK: Fairbanks' crushing disenchantment is just epic.

DOUBLE AFTERSNARK: The regrets are piling up ...



"And if you trust my political advice ...

 ... I have a retirement fund you might be interested in."



Monday, January 18, 2021

JUXTAPOSE!

Alberta: "It's critically important that we secede from Canada so no one can tell us how to run our affairs."

Also Alberta: "It's critically important that, with respect to Keystone XL, we insist on telling the Americans how to run their affairs."

JUXTAPOSE!

Canadian Trumpists -- who for four years gleefully lectured us on how elections have consequences -- stunned to discover that elections have consequences.

Sunday, January 17, 2021

The sleaze ... it burns.

One of these two is a pandering, unethical, unprincipled, hypocritical whore ... the other is Maria Bartiromo.

This is the level of intellectual disease we're dealing with.

Crass, naked opportunist and 2024 GOP Presidential hopeful Nikki Haley goes after the Biden agenda:




Yes, by all means, let's all be horrified by the idea of an administration that tries to implement sane policies for affordable health care, deal with the crisis of climate change and attack the problem of a crumbling national infrastructure.

Those bastards!

Apparently, they're all just snowflakes.

Hilariously, Jacob Anthony ("QAnon Shaman") Chansley, far from being the blustering, ass-kicking blowhard one sees on social media:

 

 

is a pathetic 30-something snowflake who still lives at home and insists he should not be held accountable for anything he did.

Man, that sounds familiar. Where have I heard that story before? Oh, right ...

Saturday, January 16, 2021

Erin O'Toole is not Canada's Donald Trump ...

... he's more like Canada's Kellyanne Conway. Or possibly Kayleigh McEnany.

MAGA: "Make Anarchists Get Attorneys"

That is all.

P.S. I just made that up, and I can prove it.


JUXTAPOSE!

Conservatives: "Who cares if inmates are treated harshly and are forced to endure inhumane conditions for the most insignificant of offenses? If you can't do the time, don't do the crime."

Also conservatives: "I absolutely don't belong in prison!"

 



Still funny as hell.

 


JUXTAPOSE!

Die-hard members of the party of "personal responsibility" and "accountability" insist they should not be held personally responsible or accountable for their actions.

Rebel News: Your number-one source of information about Rebel News.

Completely overlooked in the current elementary school playground slapfight between Erin O'Toole and Ezra Levant:



is the underlying pattern one sees when dealing with Ezra and Rebel News -- the inevitability that every story coming out of Rebel News is about ... Rebel News. It never fails. Ever.

Only Ezra could take an innocuous story about "interviewing" Erin O'Toole (which, by the way, he did not), and morph it into a massive clusterfuck of publicity wherein it's now all about Rebel News, to the point where Ezra is running his 3,649th petition solely for the purpose of data mining more rubes and yokels for his mailing list:

It has always been thus -- the fundamental purpose of Ezra Levant and Rebel News is not to publish news; rather, it is to talk endlessly and tediously about (you guessed it) Ezra Levant and Rebel News.

  • Witness: Rebel News "Alberta Bureau Chief" Sheila Gunn Reid covers a rally; for the next several months, the only story is about how someone told her to fuck off, and the subsequent court case. A petition follows.
  • Witness: In-house brownshirt Keean Bexte tries to cover a Justin Trudeau presser; for the next several months, the only story is about how he was denied entry. A petition follows.
  • Witness: David Menzies tries to interview Peter MacKay; for the next several months, the only story is how he was ungraciously shown the door, and arrested when he made an total ass of himself. A petition follows.

It never changes. Ever. Rebel News has nothing to do with publishing news, and everything to do with relentless, shameless self-promotion, monetizing and grift, 24/7/365. As if you needed me to explain that.

Friday, January 15, 2021

The stupid ... it burns.

Dude ... Erin O'Toole is one of the Trumpists in his party. Jesus ...

P.S. I look forward to Canada's whingers screaming hysterically about how Andrew MacDougall wants to throw people out windows to their deaths.

Holy crap, this could get interesting.

Apparently, the defense du jour is, "I was invited in by the President."

 
I can't imagine the weirdness of issuing a pardon with the rationale of, "I'm pardoning that guy for doing what I told him to."

JUXTAPOSE!

Fox News: "Don't smear Trump supporters simply for the genocidal rage of tens of thousands of Trumpists who, among other things, murdered a police officer!"



Also Fox News: "Clearly, the entire Left is completely and utterly evil based on this one guy."


JUXTAPOSE!

Republicans: "It's critically important that we continue to press for life in prison for Hillary Clinton for running a private e-mail server four years ago!"

Also Republicans: "Geez, this Trump U.S. Capitol thing is so last week, just let it go already."

Rebel News misrepresents "left-wing activist" John Sullivan in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

Apparently, recently-arrested U.S. Capitol rioter John Sullivan is being described as a left-wing, BLM- and Antifa-associated activist; perhaps one should first read this piece by Max Blumenthal before taking any of that nonsense seriously.

So now we wait to see how little time it takes for the dishonest hacks at Rebel News to start spreading this idiocy.

Let's watch.

P.S. Note well that, as far back as November, people knew what Sullivan was all about, so let's not get suckered by sudden historical revisionism.

That's fair. Cruel, but fair.

Thursday, January 14, 2021