Sunday, November 30, 2008

Is it just me ...


... or have the last few days just been made of awesome? Watching Big Daddy backtrack and squirm and lurch from failed talking point to failed talking point is absolute high comedy in this girl’s opinion.

And now the NDP are threatening legal action – who says Canadian politics is boring?

Let me explain the concept of an "analogy."


Um ... OK:

Of course, I could be really vindictive, a la CC, and insert words like NAMBLA around Ashton Starr’s name.

Well, yes, Jordan, you could, but that would be just stupid.

When the mainstream media does its job.


Good boy, Bruce:

The Conservative's claim that a coalition government would have no legitimacy does not accord with Harper's own position on the matter just four years ago.

In September 2004, Harper wrote to then-governor general Adrienne Clarkson to argue that she should "consider all your options" if the Liberal minority of Paul Martin was to fall on a confidence vote.

"We respectfully point out that the opposition parties, who together constitute a majority in the House, have been in close consultation," Harper wrote.

Harper co-signed the letter with NDP Leader Jack Layton and Bloc Quebecois Leader Gilles Duceppe.

When asked to explain this apparent complete reversal of principle, Blogging Tory co-founder Stephen Taylor replied, "Shut up, OK? Just shut up!"

One of these things is not like the other.


1) Whingers who still have a grip on reality:

Around the country, many Conservatives were furious that Harper's inner circle had failed to consult more widely before delivering the fiscal update.

One senior Conservative said Harper had shot himself in the foot for ideological reasons — much as he did when he announced $45 million in arts funding cuts last summer, which cost his party seats in Quebec in the Oct. 14 federal election.

"These guys think it's campus politics, so they get too cute by half and then f--- everything up," he said.

"We're in the middle of an economic crisis and they pull a stunt like this?"

2) Whingers for whom everything Stephen the Magnificent touches will always become Princess Rainbow Sparkle Pony.

I trust you can appreciate the difference.

Document the dumbassitude.


Would you like some cheese with that whine?

And a pony.


I'd like a pony, too, while you're at it.

Take a deep breath. Smell that?


That's urine.

Don't Worry Kids!

Big Steve is at the wheel.

Distractions

Spurred by a post at the Beaver and just to satisfy some morbid curiosity about the ongoing train-wreck of the CDNBAs, I went and had a look at the outcome of the first round of voting. Mostly predictable results, nothing too shocking though I still can't quite believe those terminal fuckwits pitched JJ out of the Best Feminist Blog category. And then I nearly spit my coffee on the screen when I noticed that Raphael Alexander is in the Best Non-Partisan category. That is so squinchy, I guess without a xenophobic, homo-hating, racist category they had to stuff the chump somewhere. Who knew that Klan-Lite wasn't a partisan world view?

What does that even mean?


I think the events of the last few days have finally broken a few of the more ... how should I put this ... mentally fragile mouthbreathers. Their usual level of incoherency has spiked to unheard-of heights. Or depths.

Take SUZANNE for example -- no, really, take her. From one of her more recent, frothing, spittle-flecked posts (which contains exactly zero references to abortion – huge upside), the following statement appears (emphasis gleefully added):

Liberals and Dippers are bling. The Bloc will use this opportunity to advance their separatist agenda.

As God is my witness, I have no idea where to go with this.

Because they really do need babysitting, that's why.


Shorter Conservative Party of Canada: "Dear supporters: It's important that you all get out there and defend us. And since you're all clearly insufferable morons and unspeakable imbeciles, let us help."

AFTERSNARK
: Note to Harper Youth -- when your handlers feed you the actual words to use:



you might want to avoid describing your little circle-jerk wankfest as a "grassroots" movement. I'm just sayin'.

You know it's coming.


Position one: "Given the current financial crisis and the overwhelming urgency with which it must be addressed, it would be disastrous to defeat the current government and change horses in midstream."

Position two: "Given the current intemperate language in Ottawa, it would be a good idea to prorogue Parliament for a month or two, kick back, chill, and do nothing whatsoever to give everyone a chance to cool off."

Bonus points for finding the first Harper Youth member who expresses both of those positions in the same blog post.

Thanks for coming, Stephen.


We appreciate everything you've done for the party. No, really.

This is so not workplace safe:


Sunday Funnies.


Luuuuuuuuuuuccciiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! You have some esplainin’ to do!



I really do love Lucy.

In twenty words or less ...


Shorter idiot Conservatives: "In this time of economic uncertainly and financial crisis, it's critically important that the Canadian people support this government, at least long enough so that we can, in a fit of vindictive pique and crass political opportunism, prorogue Parliament and shut down the entire governing process, hanging everyone out to dry."

Did I get that about right? Yeah, I think I got that about right.

AFTERSNARK
: Stay tuned as numerous members of the Harper Youth praise the notion of proroguing Parliament as "leadership" and "standing up for Canada." Because they really are that unspeakably fucking retarded.

Left hand, meet right hand.


Over at "The Politic," Charles Anthony wants to know where's the beef?

I am not saying that the Conservative strategies are fine. I just find it hilarious that the Opposition has not presented any alternatives. You would think they would have at least something.

On the other hand, Harper Youth member Jarrett Plonka thinks stimulus plans blow dead goats:

Major economists warn stimulus demands are stupid, counterproductive

Perhaps Charles and Jarrett should get together and decide whether the official opposition should, by gosh, come up with a plan, or whether a plan is a total waste of time. And after they hash that out, they can get back to us.

It's because they lie. All the time.


Regular "Hunter" commenter mahmood lies thusly:

heh heh, my dissension has been deleted from the Cynic Cesspool and banned at the dawgpound so be a big boy and quit yer whining KEVvy.

Really? I have to admit that escapes my memory, but if mahmood wants to drop by and contribute to the discussion here at CC HQ, he's more than welcome.

If I was a betting man, I'd be wagering my sock drawer that mahmood doesn't have the grapes to show up here and bandy wit with the clever folks. But that's just a guess.

YOU KNEW IT HAD TO HAPPEN
: Irredeemable idiot (and Blogging Tory celebrity) "Hunter" finally gives up and lets loose her inner four-year-old:

I understand that you think your comment is intelligent and actually adds to the discussion, but calling me a name makes you look like what you are calling me.

Yes, folks, political discourse in the Canadian BT Wingnut-o-sphere has finally descended to, "I know you are, but what am I?" Don't look so shocked -- you must have seen that coming.

When total douchebags blog.


Apparently, Blogging Tory co-founder and squalling brat babysitter Stephen Taylor really is capable of understanding legalities (emphasis added):

I’m at the Parliamentary Press Gallery dinner right now and a quiet rumour among a small number of of the gathered people here is that Prime Minister Stephen Harper may prorogue Parliament until the new year...

The opposition will cry foul, but it’s within the Prime Minister’s power.

Yes, Stephen, it is, and even those of us who despise Harper with a truly visceral loathing agree that it is within his power.

So wouldn't it be nice if you wrote a post and explained to your drooling, feces-flinging howler monkey acolytes (that would be your storm-trooper Harper Youth) that toppling the current government and offering to set up a coalition is similarly within the power of the opposition, is entirely constitutional and is in no way an affront to democracy, a sleazy power grab or a cheap, back door attempt to overturn the results of the last election?

Can you do that, Stephen? Can you explain that to your ignorant, screeching, dumbshit, mindless followers, then tell them to, please, for the love of God, shut up and put a fucking sock in it? Thanks ever so much. We sane Canadians would really appreciate it.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Kill him. Kill him dead.


Then piss on the corpse.

Who knew …


... "Bottom Bitch" would be such an appropriate and somehow prescient choice of words?

"When it comes to the funding and subsidies that political parties get, we just don't think it's worth getting into an election on that issue," Transport Minister John Baird said. "We won't be proceeding."

I'll just bet you won't.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


Fuck off, you screeching harridan.

Left, right, left, right ...


The attack of the Harper-bots.

Oh la la …


Big Daddy's attempt to turn Canada into his tiny little fiefdom may have some delicious repercussions (emphasis all mine).

Many Conservatives had been gleeful about the "poison pill" item in the update: the plan to slash $30 million in taxpayer subsidies for political parties. But as the political fallout takes hold, Harper's move is widely seen as a terrible political miscalculation.

A Conservative government source said yesterday the idea was Harper's.

Sources said "most" of the Conservative caucus is perplexed why the government moved to put such controversial measures in now. "It makes no sense," said one.

"To date, Harper has been a master at dividing and conquering his opponents," said Conservative author Bob Plamondon.

"But by moving to end the subsidy to all political parties, he has given the three opposition parties unity and purpose. It is a rare strategic blunder for Harper and a miscalculation not seen since (former PC prime minister Joe) Clark toppled himself in 1979."

Conservative insiders across the country were flabbergasted.

"It is 1979 bravado with 1985 facts," said one plugged-in Tory, referring to Clark's bungled confidence vote in 1979 and the 1985 Liberal-NDP accord that ended 42 years of Tory rule at Queen's Park. "The government will fall," he lamented.

If the government falls, it’s going to be a Conservative Night of the Long Knives. Popcorn anyone?

How stupid? Tom Lukiwski stupid, that's how stupid.


Gaze in stunned amazement at one of the dumbest human beings on the planet:

"Seventy-five percent of the people in Canada said that they didn't want a Liberal government," says Lukiwski, "Eighty percent of the people said they didn't want an NDP government, 90 percent of the people said they didn't want a Bloc government.

No, Tom, you imbecile, that's wrong, and for a painfully simple reason. Our current "first past the post" (FPTP) system allows voters only to identify their first choice, and nothing more. It does not allow us to conclude anything whatsoever as to what that voter might think of the remaining choices on the ballot.

Ergo, therefore and to wit, to observe that the Liberals got 26.2% of the popular vote and to then conclude, as Lukiwski does, that "Seventy-five percent of the people in Canada said that they didn't want a Liberal government" is jaw-dropping ignorance at its finest. One has no idea what those other 73.8% thought of the Liberals, simply because our current electoral system doesn't give them the opportunity to say.

Fuck you, Tom, you worthless, lying toad. Where are the re-education camps when you truly need them?

P.S. Is it even worth asking how many Harper Youth are going to be all over this "logic" like "Neo Conservative" on a police report?

Dear Harper Youth: Let's talk about "democracy," shall we?


Dear Blogging Tory Brownshirts: Allow me to point out a simple fact.

In the last election, your party received 37.6% of the popular vote. The combination of the Liberals and NDP alone -- even without the Greens or the BQ -- received 44.4%. Under the circumstances, then, what scenario do you think is a fairer and more accurate representation of who should be running this country?

No, no, take your time. It's a tricky question, and I wouldn't want you to strain yourself.

Democracy in action, baby.


Off you go, boys and girls, and make your voice heard.

We, the undersigned citizens of Canada,

1. Recognize that the NDP, Liberals, Bloc Quebecois, and Greens have enough in common to form a coalition government that will better reflect the values of the majority of Canadian voters than the Conservative minority government.

2. Call on the NDP, Liberals, and Bloc Quebecois to ask Governor General Michaƫlle Jean to form a coalition government.

3. Call on the NDP, Liberals, and Bloc Quebecois to govern by working together on areas of common interest and by including counsel from the Greens.

Yes, now.

I'm just sayin' ...


Shorter Harper Youth: "In these trying times of crippling economic crisis, it's important that we immediately address the paramount issue of abolishing the $1.95 per vote public financing, since nothing -- and we mean nothing -- can be allowed to take priority over such a fiscally critical issue."

(Time passes ...)

Shorter Harper Youth: "Can you believe the opposition is prepared to bring down the government over such a petty, trivial, meaningless, unimportant issue as the $1.95 per vote public financing? God, talk about small-minded welfare whiners."

Did I get that about right?

Saturday Morning Cartoons.




Hmmmmm ...
I wonder if joining the French Foreign Legion is the answer to all my troubles? Let me have another cup of coffee while I ponder.

Ignorant dumbass open thread.


I have a busy day today, so feel free to slog your way through Canada's Dumbshit-o-sphere and collect the best examples of inane, illiterate idiocy and petulant, Harper-worshipping whininess. It can't possibly take that long.

Cry, Stephen, ...


... cry for me:


Your tears of anguish sustain me.

Oooooooooooh ...


Snap!

BONUS TRACK: The ever-literate James Bow casts pearls before perpetually stupid swine.

I know! I know!


Oooooooh! Over here! Over here!



How about "The Grownups?"

HEH. Great minds think alike. Or is it, fools seldom differ? I always get those two confused.

When totally douchebaggy fuckwits blog.


Shorter Stephen Taylor: "If the coalition now caves, that proves they're just a bunch of greedy, parasitic freeloaders who care only about feeding at the public trough."

Shorter Stephen Taylor: "If the coalition doesn't cave, that proves they care only about power and ruthlessly overturning the results of a free and fair democratic election."

Gosh, Stephen, you're not really leaving them a lot of outs, are you?

Friday, November 28, 2008

The lies of Stephen Harper.


Stephen Harper lies to Canada:

Pointing out that the Conservatives received a renewed minority mandate last month to guide the country through the worst financial crisis in decades, ...

Um, no, Stephen. Canadians could not possibly have voted for you to "guide the country through the worst financial crisis in decades" simply because, leading up to the election, you were assuring us that "The Canadian economy's fundamentals are solid." Ergo, you cannot possibly claim that your election is based on Canadians' wishes that you be the one to save us from the economic meltdown that you were denying existed for us.

See how that works? Lying, fucking douchebag.

Dance, Big Daddy, dance.


You have no idea how much I’m enjoying this, you lying, double-dealing, backtracking, mouth-breathing righttard.

Failure is definitely your colour.

CC ADDS: Dance, Monkey Boy, dance.

Document the dumbfuckitude.


Seriously, I don't have the intestinal fortitude for it, so take a minute and link to your favourite example of utter and unadulterated assholishness. I guarantee it won't take long.

P.S. What the heck ... I'll go with this jackass as my retard of the night. Top that.

Oh, for fuck's sake, Stephen!


Ladies and gentlemen, your latest Blogging Brownshirts talking point:

The trap is set

The latest news is that the potential of Bloc-Liberal-NDP coalition government in waiting is shrinking a bit now that the Conservatives have promised to remove required confidence from the party welfare issue.

This is bait of course.

If the BLN coalition backs down now, Canadians will understand that their opposition to the economic statement really wasn’t about the “lack of stimulus”, the rescue of Canadian jobs, or the “protection of rights of women and workers”. The opposition and brinkmanship that was threatening a fresh election or constitutional crisis would have been about parties that are so fresh out of ideas, so unable to inspire, that they were ready to go to political war over their $1.95-per-vote handout from the Canadian taxpayer.

So there you have it. It was never a bit of insane idiocy by HM PM Stephen Harper, who stupidly over-reached and was about to get reamed up the ass for it. No, apparently, it was all some clever gamesmanship during which Harper toyed with his opponents, then ruthlessly humiliated them in public.

Yes, Stephen, whatever you say. Fuck, what a retard. What a pretentious, insufferable retard.

BY THE WAY, did you catch that other talking point of Stephen's? That public funding of Canadian elections has suddenly morphed into "party welfare." Because the thought of using public funds to level the playing field and give the smaller voices a chance to participate in the basics of democracy is nothing less than a bunch of parasitic leeches trying to scam honest, hardworking Canadian taxpayers.

At least now we know what Stephen Taylor thinks of democracy. Apparently, it's only for the rich.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


Shorter Blogging Tory Dumbass: "It's only censorship when other people do it."

Jesus, Mary, Mother of God, but these people are pants-pissing whiners, aren't they?


Yeah, kind of like that.

Leaving a trail of urine wherever he goes ...


Stephen Harper's moment of lucidity. Stay tuned as Stephen's Blogging Brownshirts, having until now squealed with glee over Stephen's impressive political acumen, will now hold up this latest development as proof of Stephen's maturity and leadership.

You know it's coming.

Carthago delenda est.


Dear Big Daddy:

In your endless attempts to achieve a stranglehold on power, it would appear that your latest move is too precious by half.

Well done. No, really.

Yours in perpetual snarkitude,
LuLu

P.S. If the Opposition backs down on this one, I will promptly send them T-shirts which read "I’m Big Daddy’s Bottom Bitch".

P.P.S. So who's the Bottom Bitch now, Big Daddy?

Thanks to Chet in the comments.

Show me your tits. Again and again and ...


OK, we get it -- Chris Muir likes boobs. Coincidentally, boobs like Chris Muir. So I guess it works out for everyone.

Free speech, motherfucker!


Via Dr. Dawg, we learn that Ezra Levant is just as big a dumbass, cocksucking douchebag as you suspected he was.

And he fucks dead goats. That, too.

P.S. Does anyone else find it ironic that Canada's "free speech" warriors are the only ones perpetually getting dragged into court and having to constantly apologize for being assholes? There's a pattern there.

What Adam Radwanski said.


Some fine writing from Mr. Radwanski:

It takes a special kind of immaturity to look at an economic crisis - one that has people worried about their jobs and their homes and their life savings - and consider only how it might be turned to your advantage. But then, for all his ideological roots, Harper has demonsrated time and again that nothing interests him so much as cementing his hold on power. He may have evolved in terms of openness to pragmatic policies when they suit his political interests. But this is a leader who very clearly sees politics as a game, and who sees government - rather than what you do with it - as the ultimate victory.

No. Fucking. Shit.

The irony, of course, is that it wasn't that long ago when Stephen Harper's Brownshirt Youth were yammering on about how the only thing the Liberals cared about was hanging on to power, for whatever reason and at whatever cost.

How times have changed.

Now we have Canada's answer to international fascism, Stephen Harper, proving that, like his right-wing idol George W. Bush before him, Stephen has no interest whatsoever in policy of any kind, and it's all about the power. And nothing else. Sound familiar? Oh, look:

With this new power, Hitler banned other parties, declared the Nazi party the only legal party of the state, consolidated power in Berlin between January – February 1934, ended autonomy of local governments and officials, abolished local governments and abolished the upper and lower house of parliament. Democracy was now dead and Germany was ruled by a one-party state.

And, yes, we have just taken the first step down that road.

Heil Harper.

Document the screeching assholitude.


Where to even begin? Your Blogging Harper Youth in action.

HERE, LET ME START
: Shorter Alberta Ardvark: "Having cheered on the last expensive, unnecessary election in the middle of a financial downturn, how dare the opposition throw us into another expensive, unnecessary election in the middle of a financial downturn?"

Yes, they really are that fucking retarded.

How ... odd.


Isn't it curious how the ignorant, dumbfuck Blogging Tories who are so keen on the latest exercise in Stephen Harper fascism are the very ones who are always yapping on about "limited government" and yet have no problem whatsoever with Stephen Harper's monstrously-expanded cabinet and the extra expense that goes with it.

Your brownshirt Harper Youth at work.

P.S. "Blogging Harper Youth." Yeah, I like that. Feel free to use it.

Julie Morand Terrorism Watch: Day Two.


Looking good, kids. But we still have a way to go.

HEH. Indeed.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Dear dumbfucks: Elections have consequences.


Via JJ, we learn that LifeShitNews is all bent out of shape:

As the media continues to leak real and projected appointments to Mr. Obama’s future administration, the emerging pattern is clear: most of the appointments with any voting or lobbying history represent the extreme end of the pro-abortion movement.

Following is a list of Obama appointments so far who have a track record of opposing the pro-life movement and actively promoting the anti-life ca

To which one can properly respond -- too fucking bad. It's called "winning the election," and when that happens, you get to appoint who you want.

The anti-choice assholes had no problem with George, the Wonder Spaniel, appointing total mouth-breathers to high-level positions, so it's a bit hypocritical for them to be whining and kvetching about that sort of thing now.

You dipshits had your asses handed to you on a plate, so shut up and fuck off. When you win an election, you can run things your way. Until then, piss off.

Your lede of the week.


Does it get any better than this?

Atheism losing confidence, credibility?

Dinesh D'Souza, an all-in-one tool...

And that's where I stopped reading.

By the way, Stephen, ...


... you know what could have saved all of us Canadians a shitload of money? Not having had that last election.

Fucking prick.

All politics, all the time.


Back in 2003:

... There is, however, one man who, at some personal and professional risk, has now decided to speak openly about the inner workings of the White House.

President George W. Bush called John DiIulio "one of the most influential social entrepreneurs in America" when he appointed the University of Pennsylvania professor, author, historian, and domestic-affairs expert to head the White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives. He was the Bush administration’s big brain, controversial but deeply respected by Republicans and Democrats, academicians and policy players. The appointment was rightfully hailed: DiIulio provided gravity to national policy debates and launched the most innovative of President Bush’s campaign ideas—the faith-based initiative, which he managed until this past February, the last four months from Philadelphia.

"There is no precedent in any modern White House for what is going on in this one: a complete lack of a policy apparatus," says DiIulio. "What you’ve got is everything—and I mean everything—being run by the political arm. It’s the reign of the Mayberry Machiavellis."

Sound familiar? It should, given this latest sleazy affont to democracy by the Ratfuck Douchebag Party of Canada:

Finance Minister Jim Flaherty will slash almost $30 million a year in public funding for federal parties, in a move that would save taxpayers' money but deal a major financial blow to opposition parties, CTV News has learned.

Understand something: This has nothing to do with efficiency, or economics, or recessions. It's politics. It's what Stephen Harper does. It's all he does. The Conservtive Party of Canada doesn't do policy -- never has, never will. With these bottom-feeders, it's all politics, 24/7, so get used to it, because it's never going to change.

There is a very simple bottom line here: The Conservative Party of Canada is interested only in the health and well-being of the Conservative Party of Canada. They are not standing up for Canada or for Canadians -- they are standing up for themselves. It's what they do. And it's all they do.

Like I said, get used to it.

THE ASSHOLES WEIGH IN: It was only a matter of time:

4. As a bonus, it completely screws the Bloc, and to a lesser extent the Liberals. :)

Those re-education camps can't come soon enough for me.

BONUS ASSHOLE: We should start making a list.

Attention Liberals

Dear Liberal Party of Canada,

I'm sitting here looking over the meagre offerings you've presented for the leadership of your sad and failing party. Essentially it comes down to a race between Count Iggy and Bob (please don't hate me any more Ontario) Rae with some other son of a Governor General providing relief. I'm sorry but since it seems that Leblanc is hell's snowball in this contest, I'm supposed to think that either Rae or Ignatieff are serviceable choices to oppose Fat Steve and the CRAPs. Well forgive me for being blunt but fuck off, you monumental losers. In this day and age we have seen the power of the politics of personality come to the fore. I might not approve of such a development but I do understand that one can't push a river back uphill.

So here we are with the Liberal frontrunners being a man whose name is synonymous with failed leadership. A man who is roundly detested and distrusted throughout much of the country's largest province and pointed out as the posterboy for fail from sea to sea, versus a guy who is the very picture of the academic elitist. A man whose entire career took place elsewhere, whose every success was out of country and who did not return to Canada until his naked ambition made the possibility of adding Prime Minister to his CV resonate in his grubby little soul. Ignatieff has all the charisma of Bob Stanfield and Rae has less chin than Joe Clark, how are either of these two goofs supposed to re-invigorate a party that is doing a slow motion Brian Mulroney/Kim Campbell dive into the pits of obscurity?

Ignatieff can try and paint his apologia about his being utterly, dismally wrong about Iraq as some kind of humanitarian lapse but the fact remains, had he been at the helm, we'd have been burying Canadian forces flown home from George Bush's murderous fraud in the sand. That is not judgement I trust. And Bob Rae is still trying to get past his past. Sure he was handed a plate of shit at the all feces buffet when he took the reigns in Ontario but he floundered and wallowed and lost the faith of business, labour and the general public in record time. He toasted that shit with laxatives and it is not forgotten. His legacy will haunt the NDP in this province for the foreseeable future. Canada will not rally behind either of these men. I will not rally behind either of these men. They do not present any sort of positive alternative to the CRAP Prime Minister we have now. Jeezis, I'd vote for that puffed up, ego masturbating clown Jack Layton before I'd ink a ballot for these Liberal prospects.

Here's the deal Liberals, you are in the midst of a Thelma and Louise dash to hit the lip of the cliff and there's not much anyone can do about it so just get it over with. Roll the hell over and die already. In the mean time, I'm going to say my prayers that out of the ashes of your blazing stupidity some hope might arise, phoenix like, to cleanse the last of the bad taste of this political silly season from our mouthes. I fully expect to see the grand old Liberal Party of Canada crash and burn and when that comes to pass, it is high time that a new party be born. A coalition of centre left progressive interests that unites the Bloc with the remnants of the Liberals, Greens and those Dippers that don't see an improved 4th place as a victory. I'd like to celebrate the birth of the Bloc Canada, led by the likes of Gilles Duceppe and Charlie Angus and I'd like to raise a glass to them when they unseat the inevitable and disastrous, first and only Harper majority, brought to you by today's failing Liberals.

Let The Kid Keep The Pony

(I've lifted this piece by Alison at Creekside in its entirety. Seems to me the good people of Caledon, Ontario need to send a notice of pending unemployment to their cowardly town council. If a precedent is set here, let it be one of compassion. And somebody's NIMBY neighbour needs to get the fuck over themselves. As a side note, if you do not read Alison, either at Creekside or at the Galloping Beaver, well you'd be a dope. So cut it out. Alison is one of this country's blogging treasures, her posts on SPP are a must read.)


Sam Spiteri is 3.
He has cerebral palsy.
He can't walk but he loves his pony, Emily.
Some asshat neighbour, apparently able to distinguish the odour of Sam's pony over that of the cow farm next door, has laid a successful complaint with the town of Caledon, Ont. to have the pony removed from the Spiteri's one acre property over a zoning infraction.
Dear Township of Caledon :
The kid's single mom has paid you the $1145 you apparently require to consider letting her keep the pony. Yeah we read all about your worries regarding setting legal precedents in your local paper. How about setting a precedent to allow a severely challenged kid to have some joy in his childhood? Don't mess this one up.
Good luck to you, little kid, mom, and pony.

As Google slowly awakens to its task ...


And so it begins. Remember, kids, this is the effect we're going for. Or this. Whatever works for you.

Don't let me down.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Just Awesome!

This incredible short has been picked up and is being given a feature length treatment.

You have the right to shut the hell up and take it.


Apparently, freedom of religion means the freedom to have someone else's religion inflicted on you.

In other news, I hear Christians are terribly, terribly persecuted. At least that's what I hear.

And you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny, haha!


Quote of the day:

So if it’s true, as conservatives claim, that a surplus means we’re overtaxed then doesn’t it stand to reason that the opposite–a deficit means we’re undertaxed–is also true.

By way of rebuttal, numerous Blogging Tories responded with, "But CC! And Wanda Watkins! And bad language! And I know you are but what am I?" Then their parents called them in for dinner and the grownups went back to their grownup discussions.

Sometimes, this job is too easy. Boredom or ennui? You make the call.

Um, yeah, but that's different.


OK, this doesn't sound good:

This morning I hear on the radio that the University of Calgary has prohibited a pro-life group from holding a rally on University property.

Um ... as a big believer in free speech, I have to ask: What's the problem? Oh:

Campus Pro-Life Club displayed their "Genocide Awareness Project" on the grounds between Mac Hall and Science B Mon., Oct. 15 and Tue., Oct. 16.

Excuse me? "Genocide?" Could these people get any more sensationalistic? Or irresponsible? Well, yes:

The CPL display featured graphic images of lynchings and genocide, connecting them with bloody pictures of fetuses. CPL president Matthew Wilson explained he hopes for people to be impacted by the graphic nature of display and in turn initiate a conversation about abortion...

Genocide? Lynchings? Could it get any sillier? You had to ask:

"With images of the Holocaust and genocide, people that have personal connection or have personal histories connected to it find it really abusive to use these historical events for a totally unrelated cause," explained Judd.

Um ... yeah, let's just go all-out and play the Holocaust card, shall we? I mean, if we're discussing a medical procedure that's entirely legal in this country, that's the analogy I would be making.

In unrelated news, some Blogging Tories get really hacked off when you make inappropriate comparisons to the wanton slaughter of several million Jews. I just thought you needed to know that.

*Sigh*.


The Americans are making fun of us again. I hate it when that happens.

A Vote To Rock!

Friends and neighbours, let me direct your attention to my good friends Daddy Long Legs. These cats play original jump blues and they've been kicking some righteous rears in this area for some time. Well it turns out that the rest of the country has started to take notice and they've been nominated for a Maple Blues Award as best new artists. Please take a moment to check out the videos below, then click the link and vote for them. They are certainly the underdogs in their category, being from K-W as opposed to Toronto, Vancouver or another capital city. The fact that they write all their own material also works against them in a market that's been trained to want to hear yet another version of Mustang Sally. And if you see their name on a poster near you, get your arse out your chair and go see 'em, you will not be disappointed.



It's because I'm an evil prick, that's why.


Via Alison at Creekside, we learn of retarded douchebag Julie Morand of Passport Canada:

As Julie Morand of Passport Canada explained to her, "In fact … you should always be questioned since a name similar to yours appears to be on an American list."

So here's what I think we should all do. We should all write blog posts that contain the phrases "Julie Morand" and "suspected terrorist" and "al Qaeda" in close proximity to each other. Yeah, sort of like this one.

Then we should wait for Google to eventually kick in and start linking those phrases to one another, as Google is wont to do.

And, finally, we should wait patiently for the inevitable day when Ms. Morand tries to board a flight somewhere and is informed that, well, um, a net search seems to suggest that she has some connection to terrorism and would she please step out of the line for a few minutes and I'm sure we can clear this up in no time at all, someone will be with you shortly, thanks very much. Isn't that just a delightful idea?

Julie Morand. Terrorist. Al Qaeda.

Take it away, Google.

P.S. Richard Evans. Calgary. NAMBLA. See how that works?

UM ... KIDS?
You're supposed to be feeding Google on some of your blogs, not just in my comments section. Sheesh.

Ask a stupid question.


No, seriously, ask a really fucking stupid question.

And suddenly ...


... wizened little dicks could be heard shrivelling up in fear all over the world. Elsewhere, altar boys were breathing a sigh of relief and putting the KY Jelly back in their parents' medicine cabinets.

Apparently, it was dr. roy's turn ...


... as the National Post works its way alphabetically through the Blogging Tory membership list. It's kind of like "Everybody Gets a Trophy" Day, but with less requirements for actual accomplishment.

P.S. By the way, Doc, if you're so gosh-darned all fired up about the quality of medical care in Canada, you might ask your hero Stephen whatever happened to that patient wait-times guarantee. If you can remove his dick from your mouth long enough.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Just because ...


... I’ve had a lousy day and her voice is absolutely breathtaking.


And that cloud? It looks just like an aborted fetus …


Dear SUZANNE:

You may want to sit down because this may come as a bit of a shock to you. Astonishingly enough, there are things going on in the world that have nothing whatsoever to do with abortion. I know, I know ... this kind of heretical thinking doesn't line up with your "all abortion, all the time" world view but it has to be said.

In short, sometimes a horror movie is just a horror movie and not some insidious attempt to influence the debate over a woman’s right to choose, you mouthbreathing, fetus-humping, obsessive-compulsive whacko.

Yours in perpetual disdain,
LuLu

P.S. I’m having a fuck of a day so the fact that this did not turn into a profanity-laced tirade is a testament to my superior upbringing. No, really.

Hello? CDNBA? Best feminist blog?


I'm sorry, but how exactly is it that the CDNBA can have a "best feminist blog" category in which JJ isn't even one of the nominees? What the fuck sense does that make?

What kind of fuckery is this?


I will have considerably more to say about this in the near future.

Dear Canadian Blog Awards: I'm going to enjoy this.


Oh, the cognitive dissonance of the Sci/Tech category having three of Denyse O'Leary's blogs. Does the fact that that amuses me make me a bad person?

Yes, yes, it does.

AFTERSNERK: For those of you who are new around these parts, here's an example of Denyse O'Leary's razor-sharp intellectual abilities, as she favourably quotes one David Tyler:

Author Tim Folger elevates the principle to "an extraordinary fact" about the universe: "Its basic properties are uncannily suited for life. Tweak the laws of physics in just about any way and - in this universe, anyway - life as we know it would not exist."

Folger's article is based on an interview with physicist Andrei Linde, who says: "We have a lot of really, really strange coincidences, and all of these coincidences are such that they make life possible." Many of these are sketched out for the benefit of readers, and Folger comments: "There are many such examples of the universe's life-friendly properties - so many, in fact, that physicists can't dismiss them all as mere accidents."

Quite so, because nothing says "life-friendly" like a universe which consists primarily of vast nothingness in which human beings would die instantly and horribly. Other than that, the universe is apparently a terrifically friendly place.

I can't wait to see how that category shakes out. Really.

BONUS TRACK: Those scientifically-literate Yankees, making fun of us again. I'm sure it's what they live for.

Fucking liberal media.


No, really. Feel free to provide your own punchline; I'm going to be off in the corner, throwing quietly up.

TBOGG!

But on the third hand ...


Nov 24, 2008:

Ottawa to wait till March to stimulate economy: Flaherty

Canadian [sic] not yet in recession so finance minister says he'll wait for budget

Although Canada is likely headed for recesssion, Finance Minister Jim Flaherty says his government has no plans to introduce an economic stimulus package before next spring's budget.

Nov 24, 2008:

Flaherty hints at early budget to stimulate economy

Finance Minister Jim Flaherty may table the next federal budget early to include infrastructure spending and other provisions to stimulate the ailing economy.

In related news, the propaganda arm of the CPoC, the Blogging Tories, praised Flaherty's response to the current economic crisis, explaining that ... that ... oh, fuck it, I can't even make something up that would make this stupid shit sound even vaguely amusing.

(Wag of the tail to Impolitical.)

Yeah, that sounds about right.


Science has evidence, and Canadian ID whackjob Denyse O'Leary has ... uh ... Dilbert. Somehow, it just seems appropriate, doesn't it?

How very Hunteresque of him.


In the face of a number of commenters who coolly and civilly pointed out his overwhelming, sanctimonious hypocrisy regarding welfare recipients (who are apparently lazy, parasitic douchebags unless they're conservatives, whereupon they're hard-working citizens who have just had a bad break and deserve whatever help society can provide them), Blogging Tory and free speech warrior Jordan Alcock:

  • deleted all of the existing comments on that latest post,

  • disabled any new comments, and

  • moved his blog.

I'm guessing that, if I hadn't linked to his new blog, you could have found it simply by following the trail of urine.

OH, WAIT, I TAKE IT BACK. Apparently, the comments are alive and well over at Jordan's new place. Feel free to stop by and (politely, of course) point out Jordan's screeching hypocrisy. That, and the fact that he is apparently incapable of engaging anyone intellectually and addressing the issue at hand. That, too.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Your regular Denyseitude.


Doddering, self-referential Canadian ID wingnut Denyse O'Leary is all a-twitter over, well, whatever:

Atheist defends intelligent design - and I gather he's pretty good

Below are links to the Discovery Institute's five podcasts of University of Colorado (Boulder) professor of the philosophy of physics Bradley Monton - who is an atheist - on why the universe might show evidence of design. Monton teamed up with another skeptic of religion, mathematician David Berlinski, against materialist atheist Lawrence Krauss and British theistic evolutionist Denis Alexander, to defend the design of the universe as an intellectually worthy idea (not just some religious schtick).

And how did that turn out, Denyse? Oh, dear ...

I don't quite know what to make of Dr. Monton. He is a philosopher at the University of Colorado at Boulder, and an atheist. And yet, he seems to be the Discovery Institute's flavor of the month because he's pro-ID. Well... not actually. Just like Berlinski, at no point in the debate did he ever actually argue for intelligent design. In fact, he stated quite plainly that the current arguments used by ID advocates are awful and ineffective, and he was interested in trying to develop better arguments for them to use in the future. Idiotsayswhat??? Turns out the reason he's interested in doing this is because he doesn't like methodological naturalism, and he'd like to see supernatural explanations at least given a place at the table. I really don't see why this would be helpful or interesting, but then again, I'm not a low-level philosopher getting friendly with the Discovery Institute. The less said about Dr. Monton the better, quite frankly- I'm sure he's a nice fellow, but he had about as much relevance to the discussion as an expert in 17th century French poetry.

Degree of difficulty: Not worth talking about.

Oh, dear ... that's gonna leave a mark.


Over at Jordan's place, Jordan is getting a mite defensive about his welfare buddy Sean in the comments section. And that's when commenter David drops by with a MASSIVE towel snap to the nads.

David wins the thread.

LET THE DESPERATE TAP-DANCING BEGIN
! Shorter towel-snapped Jordan Alcock: "How dare you use my earlier words that welfare recipients are parasitic leeches on society to suggest that I think that welfare recipients are parasitic leeches on society."

Yeah, Jordan, I think closing that barn door is way too late.

Dear Paul: Generalize much?


Um ... yeah:

The other day I wrote about leftist zealots, better known as university professors, ...

What a coincidence, Paul. Just the other day, I wrote about shrieky, ignorant, mouth-breathing scientific illiterates and hypocritical troglodyte buttfuck retards, better known as Blogging Tories.

What are the odds?

P.S. You'll note that Paul's original spelling as shown in the link is "proffessor." I'm thinking that someone who can't even spell the word probably doesn't have the moral high ground to be criticizing them.

But that's just me.

Go fuck off.


Is this really an issue of importance to anyone but the mouthbreathing bible-thumpers?

President-elect Barack Obama has yet to attend church services since winning the White House earlier this month, a departure from the example of his two immediate predecessors.

On the three Sundays since his election, Obama has instead used his free time to get in workouts at a Chicago gym.

That's right, boys and girls -- we’re on the verge of a complete global economic meltdown and people are wondering why the President-elect hasn’t gone to church lately. And you know what comes next, right? Hints and whispers that this proves beyond any shadow of a doubt that Obama really is a ... wait for it ... Mooozzzlim!!!1!!!!1!1!!!11!

You only wish I was kidding.

Shamelessly stolen from the Great Orange Satan.

Sorry ... how did you spell your name again?


The National Post's Jonathan Kay gets schooled by his commenters.

AFTERSNARK
: One has to wonder why Kay thinks this bit is so impressive:

But there are drawbacks to combining spicy political reporting with independent blogging: People get mad, and sometimes they sue you. And unlike folks like me, Janke doesn't have a company-paid cadre of lawyers to back him up. His legal costs come out of his own pocket.

This was the case when a disgruntled former MP flew off the handle recently, and began suing everyone who'd reported on his troubles — including Janke. The professional reporters who were sued didn't break a sweat — they just flipped the legalese to the people who handle this sort of thing in the back office. But not a blogger like Janke, for whom the money for defence counsel comes out of the same bank account used to pay for groceries and kids' clothes.

And one wonders what we should think of someone who, with no legal support system in place, puts his family's financial well-being at risk. I'm sorry ... that isn't noble or laudable, it's totally fucking stupid and irresponsible.

If Janke wants to play Boy Detective and write ignorant, malicious crap for which he can be sued (justifiably or not), then let him suffer the consequences. There's nothing noble in playing investigative reporter, then whining for financial help when your idiocy comes back to bite you in the ass.

If Janke wants to play reporter, let him do it on his own dime. I mean, is it just me or has the entire right-wing Canadian blogosphere turned into a panhandle-fest lately? God, what a bunch of pants-pissing whiners.

Finally! A Movie Worth Seeing.

That's good advice, Doc, I'd support that.


Shorter Blogging Tory Jabba the Roy: "For the Republicans to abandon the gibbering, Bible-whomping, young earth, snake handling, batshit crazy, wingnut demographic would be a real mistake. After all, it's worked so well for them in the past."

... and that's when reality slapped him in the face with a wet fish.


There's an old joke that a liberal is just a conservative who hasn't been mugged. Conversely, I'm guessing a conservative is just a liberal who whinges on about freeloading welfare parasites until he ends up in a bad place:

For many of us welfare is something of a burden, something that most think is taken advantage of and used to substitute work and earning a living. From a distance this could be true in a lot of cases, and indeed many do use it for that purpose. But there are cases where it is needed, and the last hope for many families, especially in these times of financial downturns. Personal experience finds me in that situation now, due to recurring problems with my back. I can no longer work and have been forced to turn to the welfare system to supplement my wife's part time income while we sort out the mess we find ourselves in.

Tune in next month when Blogging Tory Sean, after surviving on taxpayer-supplied welfare and with help from taxpayer-funded physiotherapy, is back on his feet and whinging on about lazy, shiftless welfare bums. You know it's coming.

Dear CDNBA: Bite me. Again.


Another year, another incarnation of the Canadian Blog Awards, and another request to please delete CC HQ from any and all categories in which we've been nominated for a fairly simple reason -- we're not interested in any popularity contest in which voters seriously have to choose between CC HQ and batshit crazy, racist, white supremacist, Nazi sympathizer loons like Kate McMillan and Kathy Shaidle for "best blog."

The day the CDNBA can run a contest sanely is the day we'll reconsider. Until then, thanks, but we'd rather run our nads over a cheese grater than share a ballot with those shrieking, hate-filled, homophobic, anti-Semitic harlots.

P.S. LuLu is welcome to come up with her own metaphor. Or is that a simile?

If she were any less self-aware ...


12-year-old Blogging Tory "Hunter": "What struck me is that only one reporter asked an intelligent question, the others were parrots, talking, but having no real understanding of what they were saying."

Tune in next week when Hunter accuses someone else of being a parrot and of having no idea what they're saying. No, really.

P.S. Dear Hunter: You might be more articulate if you took Stephen's dick out of your mouth. It's just a suggestion.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Conservative Clothing...

...for the discriminatory shopper. Everything you need in blogging tory blue.

Most Illogical

Dear Kate: Shut the fuck up.


Man, what about that sore loser Al Franken? Could you get any whinier? Oh, wait ...

By the way, Kate, did I mention shutting the fuck up? Yeah, I think I did.

Up is down, black is white.


For those of you keeping score at home, this is a terrible, awful, horrendous, nasty, nasty, NASTY invasion of privacy by liberal, elitist lynch mobs.

This, on the other hand, is a perfectly acceptable preemptive strike for the cause of freedom, democracy, apple pie, etc, etc, ad fucking nauseum.

I'm glad I could clear that up for you.

All the news …


... that’s none of your fucking business.

Go. Read. Yes, now.

Sunday Funnies.


Mmmmmm ... coffee, please.


Sunday Is For Cath-o-licks

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


Those mouth-breathing whackjobs on the Right who keep whinging on about the "ownership society" might want to, you know, take ownership of their political beliefs.

It seems only fair.

There's stupid, and there's Blogging Tory stupid.


BT "The Surly Beaver" takes reality out to the back yard and feeds it through a turkey degibletizer:



Here's a thought, SB -- I'm fairly sure that someone who has never heard of Stradivarius and has no clue how to spell it wouldn't be playing us like one. Luckily, commenter Bob pipes up to clarify the situation:

I like watching Palin like a I watch NAscar. I just wait for the wrecks. She is a clown.

Sadly, poor Bob trying to explain this to SB and his adoring readers is just casting pearls before swine. Or giblets before turkeys. Whatever works for you.

Somewhere ...


... my genitals are cowering fearfully in a body cavity and refusing to come out. It's all right, boys ... the bad woman can't hurt you.

What do we have for the even bigger losers, Johnny?


After a brief hiatus during which his regular readers were desperately, uh, unaware that anything had gone missing, Blogging Tory BBS is back, incestuously handing out foil-wrapped chocolate goodies to his BT colleagues and hoping someone will similarly say nice things about him:



Tune in tomorrow when we learn "What are people are saying about BBS around the net?", and ponder the more critical question of whether we, in fact, give a shit.

They Spelled Ignatieff Wrong

Janke's Cover Blown

Today Is Sponsored By...

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Oh, please, dear God ...


... never let it end. Sarahpalooza forever!

AM I A BAD PERSON FOR FINDING THIS ENDLESSLY HYSTERICAL
? Media Matters is on the case:

It is important to remember all of that while watching this, the single most hilarious piece of video involving a politician ever filmed anywhere. I don't know what the best part of it is -- the fact that she goes blithely on while turkeys are fed into what appears to be a wood chipper behind her, and a torrent of blood overflows that little trough there, or the fact that the actual turkey slaughterer occasionally turns and smiles at the cameras. If there's any justice in the world, this little bit of Gobbler guignol ought to follow Princess Dumbass of the Northwoods for the rest of her career. The woman is fundamentally a public clown. She was one during the campaign.

She has been one during her extended post-election media blitz. She will be one when she addresses the dead-enders at the CPAC conference in January, where she will be wildly applauded. She will be one no matter what Cokie Roberts, that abject twit, thinks about how popular she is. Sarah Palin has no more business in national politics than does the guy behind her, grinning at the television people while he feeds the birds into a blender and the blood rises over his shoes. He's at least good at his job.

Yes, I am a bad person. But I've accepted that. So should you.

Ooooooh, snap!


That's gonna leave a mark.

I am ninja cat ...


... fear me.


How can we miss her if she won't go away?


Document the imbecility.

AFTERSNARK
: Jesus, Mary, mother of God, what a lying douche. Can someone tell that cretin that her 15 minutes was up, like, ages ago?

Stenography 101.


Shorter Blogging Tory Paul: "Why, yes, I will reproduce anything Ann Coulter puts in front of me. Why do you ask?"

Saturday Morning Cartoons.


Yes, yes, I know I’m late but I have a perfectly legitimate reason. And it’s not what you think ... my God, you people have the filthiest minds.


In other news ...


... Sarah Palin fans are thoroughly confused. Why that is isn't really much of a mystery:


One of these things is not like the other.


Someone who is a vile, despicable, ignorant Blogging Tory smear merchant douchebag. And someone who isn't.

I'm sure you can appreciate the difference.

"Blessed are the peacemakers, ...


... for they shall, whoa, whoa, WHOA! Jesus Christ! No pun intended."



And, suddenly, the expression "Give me head" took on a whole new meaning.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Apparently, we on the Left are fucking idiots.


While we on the Left are busy pissing ourselves hysterically over Sarah Palin's Les Nessman moment, commenter "liberal supporter" brings us the latest imbecilic wingnut talking point:

They're busily spinning turkeygate as "you latte liberals don't even know where your food comes from".

Oh, come on ... even conservatives aren't so buttfuck retarded as to try to spin it like that. I mean, that's just too unspeakably stupid for ... for ... um:

Is there anyone on the left not a complete imbecile? I mean really. Seriously?

Just what do they think happens before the damn bird ends up on their fricken plate???

Posted by: Warwick at November 21, 2008 2:46 PM

Mercifully, SDA commenter Warwick is the only wingnut so horrifically brain-damaged as to try to pass off that bit of stupidity as reality ... oh, crap:

Well put Warwick! That is pretty mild compared to prime time telly. I don't get the outrage.

Posted by: Gus at November 21, 2008 3:05 PM


Can we just gas the lot of them? Really.

SERIOUSLY
, you have to steel yourself and read the comments at Kate's place, they're priceless beyond words. If there is a God, and he is merciful and just, there will be a special place in Hell reserved for Blogging Tory co-founder Stephen Taylor for inflicting that lot of screeching zombies on the rest of us.

HEH
, indeedy.


Parody is officially dead.


No, Chet, I can't do anything with that -- snark on any level is utterly inadequate. But that's why the Doughy Pantload is a high-profile columnist for the Los Angeles Times and you're not.

Depressing, isn't it?

I'll handle that one, thanks.


Blogging Tory and whiny, buttplug-stupid wingnut Damian Penny imagines he has something to contribute to the free speech discussion:

Are there places in Canada less free than her institutions of higher learning?

Yes, Damian -- your average Blogging Tories' comments section. Now fuck off, you twat.

(Wag of the tail to Dr. Dawg.)

There are no words ...


Yo, Hunter! How's that moist-panty Sarah Palin worshipping going?



I need a word beyond "retarded."

P.S. "In my role as governor, that's what my plans are all around." She's an illiterate moron. Seriously, she is utterly incapable of simple speech. Fuck, what an idiot. And the Blogging Tories adore her. Go figure.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Poor Widdle Georgie

Here is video of Dubya being snubbed by G20 leaders at the big ol' summit or other.



Of course what Sanchez (no, not the dirty one) doesn't show is the lingering, lower abdominal massage delivered by "no hands" Harper. I think they named a super large SUV after his technique, the Buzzer... no, the Zoomer... no but something like that.

Reality, Russ. Russ, reality.


Blogging Tory Russ Campbell is outraged -- outraged, I say:

Heritage Minister scolds CBC execs

A Sun Media report that Sylvain Lafrance, a CBC executive vice-president, expensed more than $28,000 on hotels, travel and meals in 2006, has resulted in a public scolding yesterday from Heritage Minister James Moore.

The expenses included almost $6,000 for meals with other CBC managers, and $7,500 on two business trips to Paris. Lafrance’s incurred in-office catering bills of about $15,000 in 2006 and included beer and wine for staff.

And as a similarly-concerned Canadian taxpayer, let me be the first to say, shut the fuck up, Russ. And thanks for playing.

Irony, sweet irony.


Heh:

As today’s Toronto Sun editorial confirms, the facts don’t seem to have anything to do with reality.

Yes, Sandy ... you're just the person who should be lecturing the rest of us on the logical disconnect between reality and fantasy.

Just when you think they couldn't possibly get any less self-aware ... they get less self-aware.

Slow news day ...


... at the Dead Jew Cafe.

Sweet tap-dancing Jesus.


Now that Eureka Springs has fallen to our insidious Islamohomofeminazirastaveganfarian agenda, nothing can stop us.

[Insert evil Overlord-type laughter here]

P.S. Dear Chet: I believe this is a perfect example of alleged "oogedy-boogedy". Please feel free to notify teh Doughy Pantload.

Thanks bunches,
LuLu

Take Bill Donohue out and whack his peepee!


Amusingly, some Catholics who are not batshit crazy whackjobs have finally had enough of Bill. Now if only the MSM would stop giving him a podium, we'd be in business.

The Penguin!

Generalize much?


Shorter Blogging Tory Christian Conservative: "It's incredibly convenient that a single individual doing something I consider silly can be used to represent the entire 'loony-leftie', 'loony left' 'left.' Fortunately, that sort of wide-sweeping generalization can't be applied to those of us on the Right, because that would be unfair."

Yeah ... lucky thing, that.

SUPER DOUBLE BONUS GOOD SNARK: Really, this is what we're up against.

(Wag of the tail to Ti-Guy for that link.)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Oh. Fuck. Off.


Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas. Does anyone see any Canadian parallels here?

Support the Troops, Installment #125

Turns out that the troops just don't matter all that much.

The Canadian Forces is not tracking how many of its soldiers are suffering from service-related hearing loss and traumatic brain trauma, two of the so-called signature injuries of the conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Wait, not tracking the two biggest groups of injuries our soldiers suffer? That can't be... oh.

Forces members are examined for a variety of possible injuries in theatre and when they return from a deployment, but the data in most cases is contained in a paper record that goes into individual files.

But it's not like anyone else bothers to keep these kinds of... oh.

Unlike the British and American militaries, which have better means of tracking conditions affecting their troops, the Canadian Forces has yet to implement computerized programs that can digitally compile information and point to any trends for certain injuries.

Surely the Forces are looking after the troops once they come home, though, right? ...oh.

To test for hearing loss at home, military doctors have to rely on antiquated 1970s-vintage audiometres for which replacement parts are not being made and can produce only a paper document.

But how big a problem is it, really? ...oh.

[T]he numbers of troops indicating mild traumatic brain injuries could range up to 20 per cent, but... most wouldn't likely have long-term problems.

Kind of hard to say that when you don't even have decent records of the incidence of the injuries, isn't it? And that doesn't exactly reflect the latest research on the subject, either.

But the problem isn't even short-term treatment -- it's dealing with a veteran who shows up in 10 years' time, complaining about problems with memory, balance, irritability and concentration. Think the piece of paper in a DND filing cabinet is going to help that person out? Yeah, I've got some doubts myself.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: we haven't even begun to pay for our adventure in Afghanistan -- and pay we will, make no mistake.

The question is whether our country is going to pay up front with the dollars and political will needed to really take care of our military, or whether we're going to let the men and women involved pay with their physical and mental health, their destroyed marriages and families, their substance addictions, and their high suicide rates. 

Red shirts and yellow ribbons aren't going to fucking cut it.