Friday, March 23, 2007

What do you call 200 Blogging Tories at the bottom of the lake?

A good start.

Yes, that joke is old and lame but, frankly, there's no other way to look at it but that the BTs are the most worthless collection of partisan imbeciles imaginable. And I say this with great respect for worthless, partisan imbeciles everywhere.

Readers of this blog know I pick on the BTs on a regular basis, and for good reason -- a depressing number of them are either idiots or hideously dishonest hypocrites. (Go on, ask me for examples. Make my day. Seriously.)

It borders on creepy how the BT collective -- and I mean the entire collective -- can, in unison as if they've all been sent the same memo, decide that a particular development is simply not newsworthy and that they're not going to mention it. At all.

Case in point, of course, is the recent international incident involving the nine-year-old Canadian boy who was tossed into a "family detention center" in Texas. Now, you'd think that the BTs, being the pro-child, pro-family crowd that they are, would be all over that story like Steve Janke on Cindy Sheehan's private parts. You know, standing up and ... what's that phrase they use again? ... oh, right: "Getting Things Done for Canadians."

And you'd be wrong, as you can see from the handy-dandy Blogging Tories search engine, where you see just how terribly concerned they were about this story. Yup, all of two hits (provided I'm using that search facility correctly), with one of them by BT Backseat Blogger making fun of the situation, and the other by a BT who is simultaneously a member of the Progressive Bloggers of Canada, so that doesn't really count.

So do they just not give a shit? Of course not. One can safely assume that, as soon as that story broke, they quickly examined it for its political/ideological value, just as quickly determined that it had none, and moved on.

Imagine, however, if they could have somehow pinned the blame on the Liberals. OHMIGOD, the anguished shrieking would still be going on. However, since blame could not be assigned, the collective reaction was, well, utter indifference, and everyone could safely return to making fun of David Suzuki.

The most recent example of this, naturally, is the total lack of BT interest in the exploding shitstorm regarding the purge of U.S. attorneys by that sleazy little Hispanifascist Alberto Gonzales. It's hard to downplay how big a story this is, and yet ... and yet ... oh, yawn.

Of course, nothing says that the BTs have to cover breaking news south of the border but, given their perpetual love affair with all things Bush, one would think they might spare a blog post or two to at least mention it. After all, they don't seem to have a problem keeping an eye on, oh, Hillary Clinton. Or Nancy Pelosi. Or Al Gore. But rampant criminal behaviour that might very well bring down a sitting U.S. attorney general? Ah, nothing to see here. Move on.

Of course, you get the most entertainment value when you can pick on specific BTs and their posts to show their overwhelming hypocrisy, like this one by Celestial Junk's "Paul" from back in 2006:

Bush Done-it # 12 345 756

Finally, after 12 345 756 attempts at finding a charge that would stick, the international “progressive” class may finally have found a Bush Done-it that will bring down the Bush administration. Impeachment, if not criminal charges are in the air.

From the Plame-game to colluding with the 911 hijackers , Bush has managed to elude his detractors time and time again. Armies of leftist sleuths numbering in the hundreds of thousands have been pouring over damning documents (primarily MSM sources) uncovering Bush lies, Bush manipulations, Bush warmongerings, Bush inanity, Bush blunders, and outright Bush attempts at forming absolute GOP rule within the United States of America. Now, finally, they may have nailed the bastard down.

It has been recorded, on video, that George Bush, the 43rd President of the United States of America, GROPED, German Chancellor Angela Merkel during the recent G8 summit. In a lecherous move more akin to RAP ass grab, Bush Done-it.

Whooooeeee (as Jim Bobby would say), that Paul is one funny, funny guy. Of course, though, once you've invested the time in dissing all that anti-Bush sentiment, you kind of have a moral obligation to cover the real news when it happens, dontcha think? You know -- to be "fair and balanced." Yeah, you wish.

Perhaps the funniest thing about the Blogging Tories is their hypocrisy when it comes to whining about liberal media bias and, more specifically, news outlets that give you only "half the story". Because if you got your news only from the BTs, you literally would not know about the attorney purge scandal down south. At all. As not one of those biased hacks has seen fit to write a single blog entry on it.

The BTs are not alone in this deliberate aversion of eyes from unpleasant news, of course. Pop over to the right-wing, hacktacular "news" site Pajamas Media and search the main page for any mention of the name "Gonzales". Good luck. (Amusingly, Fred Beamer wannabe Steve Janke is a member of both the BTs and Pajamas Media so his bad news avoidance circuitry must be working overtime these days.)

In any event, I don't think I've told you anything you didn't already know. But, really, there comes a point where you get thoroughly tired of hearing these useless wanks whining on and on and monotonously on about liberal bias when their entire lives are defined by the circle-jerk echo chamber in which they live, and if it doesn't suit their dishonest, ideological agenda, well, it just ain't news.

I'm quite sure that's a tolerably pleasant lifestyle if that sort of thing appeals to you. But it sure does explain the howling ignorance, doesn't it?


Jose said...

Bound by Gravity is pretty good (I can't recall if he's a BT). I don't agree with him but he's not a partisan polemicist.

Ti-Guy said...

Bound by Gravity disassociated himself from the BT's a while back.

Most of the BT bloggers are just kind of dumb. But it's the commenters I can't stand. Morose teenagers, over-medicated suburban hausfraus, smarmy used-car salesmen, poorly-socialised corporate drones, xenophobic rednecks, loony helmet-air-brushing dog-humpers, insane holy-rollers, creepy letches, dessicated old gasbags and raging mediocrities bitching and moaning and weeping and sobbing and blustering and orating and hissing and spitting and...

...anyway, the type of people the rest of us make an effort to avoid.

Also...the humourlessness...oh, the humourlessness...

Zorpheous said...

Andrew voted himself off the BT Island about a year ago.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I'll see Anony's borring, and raise him an interesting.

Unknown said...

CC, just a brief correction in your repetition of the Gnu Government of Kanada's slogan. It should read "Getting things done to Canadians"

As far as the BTs are concerned, I worry about you spending so much time reading that shit -- I realize someone needs to keep an eye on them and make sure they don't get hold of any sharp or point objects, or put things off the floor in their mouths, but I worry about what the constant exposure to that level of meanspirited dumbness will do to you over the long run. The pitchers of martinis only wash off so much of the stupid. Please be careful -- maybe you should only read the BTs while wearing a lead apron and a welders mask or some other kind of protective clothing.