Monday, December 27, 2004

God apparently in a really pissy, vindictive mood these days.


Over 16,000 killed from India to Indonesia by a tsunami. And partway down the article, we have a good question:

"Death came from the sea," Satya Kumari, a construction worker living on the outskirts of the former French enclave of Pondicherry, India, told Reuters. "The waves just kept chasing us. It swept away all our huts. What did we do to deserve this?"

Yes, all you devout, pushy, obnoxious Christians -- what did all those people do to deserve being killed on Christmas day, and the day after? I'm sure, as you love to lecture us incessantly, this is all part of God's plan, right? So why don't you fill us in on that plan? Especially the part of the plan that requires:

Volunteers laid bodies of children in rows under sarongs at makeshift morgues. Others were stacked in white fish crates. Wailing mothers clutched dead babies.

Dead babies. By the hundreds apparently. And yet ... and yet ... we have Fox News' resident lying scumbag Bill O'Reilly wailing about how all those liberals and Democrats have Christmas under seige just because they'd prefer to say "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas". No, Bill, Christmas isn't under attack from people who just want to wish you a happy holiday. It's under seige from your God who took the opportunity to celebrate the Yuletide by killing thousands of people.

And a Merry Christmas to you too, Bill.

7:38 AM update: Over 21,000 dead now.

7:46 AM update: 23,000 dead. God apparently still not quite in the holiday spirit.

8:18 AM addendum: Corrupt, unethical, criminal college Republicans scam millions in contributions, including from elderly people with dementia. Cover letter encourages donations so that Bush knows that "there are millions who are giving him the shield of God to protect him in the difficult days ahead." Sadly, this "shield of God" apparently only works for rich, white Republicans, and not for, oh, folks like this. Pity.

12:10 PM random thought: For those with no sense of history, you might want to take a minute to recall the devastating earthquake that struck Bam, Iran. 43,000 dead, 20,000 injured, 60,000 homeless. And the date? One year ago. December 26, 2003. The day after Christmas. All part of God's mysterious plan, no doubt.

6:55 AM update: Death toll now 26,000 and counting. God's mysterious plan apparently still mysterious. Devoutly religious try desperately to change the subject.

10:27 AM update: 40,000 now confirmed dead. Many devout hold hands tightly over ears and hum loudly to themselves. More ambitous among them leave goofy comments on various blogs, suggesting that it just doesn't get any better than this.

11:57 AM update: Casualty count hits 44,000. Numerous fundamentalist Christians grapple with whether they should be concerned, given that it will take precious time away from banning gay marriage.

2:44 PM update: Death toll now 52,000. Christian fundamentalists brace for the possibility that the number of dead might reach 77,000, at which point they will launch numerous discussions of the Biblical significance of the number seven.

3:12 PM update: Good news -- Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Petra Nemcova survives tsunami. Fundamentalist TV commentators and religious talk show hosts forced to explain to their followers why God spared "that trampy whore foreigner and harlot." The Reverend Jimmy Swaggart is smart enough to keep his mouth shut.

5:54 AM update: Death toll now tops 67,000. Numerous Americans show momentary concern and sympathy until someone points out that many of the dead are probably Muslim. The Roman Catholic Church expresses its heartfelt sorrow at the loss of life of all the children, especially the boys -- those fine, young, supple ... uh, never mind. TV producer Marc Burnett announces plans for "Survivor: Indonesian Tsunami".

2:41 PM update: Uh oh ... death toll nears 77,000. The Reverends Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson resort to fisticuffs to see who gets to explain how this is all part of God's plan on CNN. Meanwhile, FOX TV pre-empts all disaster coverage with the Bill O'Reilly special, "Christmas Under Siege: How Gays are Destroying Religion." Somewhere, Jesus weeps.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I assume from your comments that you are an atheist. Why then don't you simply kill yourself? Do you lack the courage to do so? What is it that is keeping you here. Let's review YOUR beliefs shall we (and please correct me if any of this is wrong):

-the love you feel for your friends & family is in fact not 'love' at all. Is is nothing more than a biochemical response fueled by Darwinian needs such as reproduction and survival. Therefore, if you have a wife & kids and they are wiped out tomorrow, the only sadness you would feel would be due to your seed being less ingrained in the fabric of the world. You can simply go out the next day and find another reproductive vessel for you to fulfill your Darwinian urges, they are after all so interchangeable! Your pesky feelings of loss may slow you down, but lets put feelings in the humanist perspective here people: everyone dies, right!
-you may be hit by a bus tomorrow. It would be purely an act of random chance, your life wiped out. That's it. The whole point of you being on this planet (a random act in itself) was to be smacked by a guy making 8 bucks an hour who took his eyes off the road for 2 seconds.

So I ask again: if you are an atheist, why do you bother staying alive if the world is such a cosmic joke and so-called 'humanist values' are just illusions designed by our own brains to encourage us to reproduce? I've never understood this! I mean the Christian view of the world has it's share of horrors. God who is supposed to be so wonderful allows all this cr*p to happen. But damn man - isn't God better than the alternative??

CC said...

From CC:

Still waiting to hear about God's mysterious plan, which I noticed you cleverly avoided addressing completely. More later.

Anonymous said...

CC -

Religious types believe God's plan is a 'mystery' - which means smart folks like us can't figure it out, and you try to do the best with what you're given. It sucks *ss sometimes 2b sure, but it is what it is. Wow I really dodged that question eh?

Please explain again why you haven't killed yourself yet? I really don't understand why you wouldn't as your life is a random act anyway and all that'love' and 'passion' you think you feel are mere bi-products of your need to reproduce! So explain please what the point of your existence is again?

CC said...

From CC:

I can't believe I'm actually replying to this, but is Anonymous seriously suggesting that non-religious people have MORE incentive to commit suicide than religious people?

Dear Anonymous: Does the name "Jonestown" mean anything to you? How about "Heaven's Gate"? Or feel free to read

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/religion/suicide_3-27.html

about cult mentality mass suicide.

I can't believe I actually have to explain this to someone.

Jay Gatsby said...

I don't think that's the issue, but whatever. I lost someone close to me a while ago, and for a time I became an atheist, and today I am still very close to being one. My faith is not as strong as I would like it to be, what with all the wrongs in the world, but I still fight those who are bigoted against Christianity and try to debunk it every chance they get.

The truth is, you really don't know what God's plan is, and only some one as concieted and arrogant as, say, Michael Moore would assume a pawn in the chess game that is god's universe could figure out god's motives.

You want the truth? I really don't know what the hell God was thinking. What was he thinking when he smashed plans into the twin towers or took my loved ones away fro me in the cruel manner that they died? I don't know, but there is one thing I am certain of: this too, shall pass.

Anonymous said...

CC -

Wow .. so your point is that since some religious people are psychopaths, then all religious people are likely to kill themselves eh? Ever heard of the Hasty Generalization? Take a read. It is the error you committed in your argument. http://www.midnightbeach.com/hs/fallacys.html.

I've asked you twice now (here comes a third) for the 'meaning of life' speech from an atheist's perspective, and what value a human life could possibly have if (from what I understand of Darwin/Big Bang Evolutionary theory) it's essentially no different from a piece of wood in terms of inherent value. If you don't want to answer that's cool too :) I'd also accept a paragraph where you make fun of Muslims and/or Buddhists beliefs specifically. Or hey, how about a note detailing what stupid deluded men Martin Luther King Jr & Pierre Trudeau were for holding religious beliefs, and how much brighter you are than those two individuals? The more entertaining the better!

CC said...

From CC:

> "Wow .. so your point is ..."

slightly beyond your grasp. Let it go. I'm not getting paid enough to teach introductory logic to someone.

CC

Anonymous said...

Just saying your point is beyond someones grasp doesn't make people believe what you say. It makes you seem like you don't actually have a point...

Jay Gatsby said...

Total money Canada has donated: 40 million (canadian dollars). Total money USA has donated: 350 million Us dollars. Look on CC face: Priceless.