Hiatus! And thanks for all the fish.

Dr. Dawg has the right idea -- a month away from the blog. Of course, he has an actual excuse -- academic research.

Me? I'm just tired.

Now I could yammer on endlessly regarding my justification ... hey, why don't I do just that? In a nutshell, I'm tired not so much of blogging but what it's turned into. Used to be it represented some humour, some snark and -- most importantly -- actual, genuine intellectual discourse.

Well, those times are long gone, aren't they? Look around. If you're a Canadian progressive, who exactly are you going to exchange intellectual banter with? Hunter? Dodo? Kate McMillan? Neo Conservative? Ezra Levant? Kathy Shaidle? Sandy Crux? Dr. Jabba the Roy?

And even if you put in some legitimate civil effort (as a number of progressives have done), you know what's coming? "Harharhar, stupid leftards, it sure is easy to upset them, harharhar!" Followed immediately by the inevitable savage and brutal comment moderation and deletion. No intellectual discourse for those folks.

Quite simply, there's no middle ground to even attempt discourse any more. Canada's conservatives aren't just, well, conservative. No, they are, for the most part, screeching, scientifically illiterate bigots, racists and hypocrites. And after a while, simply mocking them gets tedious and repetitive. I mean, how long can I milk the theme of, "Hey, did you see the awesomely stupid thing that [insert random Blogging Tory name here] wrote today!?!?" You start to feel that you might as well just number code the jokes to save time. After all, I need only write "Molecules!" to inform everyone that Sandy Crux just posted something howlingly idiotic.

But, really, in the end, I just have other, more important things I want to do. It's been fun but, after well over 10,000 posts and over one and a quarter million visitors, there's other stuff I'd rather spend my time on -- books to read, technical tutorials to write, courseware to design, people to bounce some business ideas off of, seminars to give, conferences to attend, development kits on which to install Linux ... well, you get the idea. And when I think about it (and it doesn't take much thought), all of the above appeals to me way more than mocking Stephen Taylor for whatever asinine piece of offal he posted yesterday.

Will this stick? Who knows? Perhaps there's an up-and-coming blogger who wants to join the crew at CC HQ and poke stupid right-wingers with a sharp stick. If you're out there and this sounds like you, drop me a note and we'll see. But when I look around, I'm pretty sure the Canadian Progress-o-sphere is in good hands. And if there are any bloggy get-togethers, sure, I might crash it and socialize with my ideological buds.

But for now, at least, I've got a buttload of cool technical projects and people who want more of my time and, in the grand scheme of things, those cool technical projects have a lot more appeal than whatever douchebagitude Steve "The Premature eJankulator" Janke horked up recently.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do for a high-tech European company and I feel like doing a good job of it. And that means starting today. Now.

Well, OK, after a glass of scotch. Then I'll start. And thanks for all the fish.

P.S. Molecules! You had to know that was coming.

Sure, let's talk about ugly.

Via ETP, we are once again reminded of the overall ugliness of one Maria S Nunes:

... how come Conservative women are so beautiful and articulate whereas the other side have people like Rachel MadCow and Ariana Whatever.

Commenter CK stops by Audrey's to point out the hideously obvious:

Just dropped a line off over there, although, since she moderates her comments, not sure if it'll get published; basically suggested she take a look at Wendy Sullivan, Kathy Shaidle and Denyse OLeary and Sandy Crux.

In unrelated news, I give you the newest Miss USA: Lebanese immigrant Rima Fakih:



And then there's Kathy Shaidle:



Don't make me post a picture of Ezra Levant. We'll all regret it.

Let the shrieky hysterics begin.

Apparently, the Afghan detainee issue is a "peripheral, unimportant issue" over which the Conservatives should still be prepared to destroy our country. So spake one Adrian MacNair.

Then there's the perpetually senile Sandy Crux, who is still soiling her Grandma-sized Depends as we speak.

Earplugs might be the order of the day.

P.S. Canada's Blogging Tories would like to lecture you on how there's no way you can trust the Opposition to maintain national security secrets. Yes, dears, why don't you chide us on the importance of confidential documents?

Molecules!

There is a level of stupid here that is almost beyond words.

WELL, CRAP, down the memory hole it went. How mudfortunate, since it really was priceless -- how Sandy both blocked all of her Twitter followers and unfollowed everyone because (wait for it, wait for it, here it comes) it was simply taking up too much of her time.

No, seriously, someone with a doctorate found Twitter too time-consuming but it never occurred to her to just, you know, leave it alone and walk away.

Then there was the incomprehensible claim that she re-activated her account because it was somehow necessary to maintain her membership in the Blogging Tories. Fuck, but that woman is stupid. She gives molecules everywhere a bad name.

P.S. A screenshot would be delicious if anyone wants to find one.

I SUSPECT THIS WILL HAVE TO DO: The remnants of that original post still up at the Blogging Tories:



It's awesome, isn't it?

Ah, civility, how I miss thee.

Regular readers here at CC HQ already know how Blogging Tory and Depends spokesperson Sandy Crux likes to chide the rest of us regarding, you know, civility, and decorum, and politeness, and crap like that. And yet ... and yet ... here's Sandy's sidebar:



And if one pops over to Jabba the Roy's, one finds his permanent reference to women as pigs:



In any event, Sandy would still like to lecture you on civility and decorum. Dr. Roy notwithstanding.

You are not going to believe this.

As of 11:14 AM, Sat, Apr 10:



How is that even physically possible?

P.S. And, yes, that's Sandy Crux, being as dumb as a sack of manure. As usual:



Jesus Christ, but that woman is retarded.

OH, AND SHE'S A PATHETIC, WHINY, CENSORING DOUCHEBAG, TOO: If you examine the screenshot above carefully, you'll see that there were two comments. I remember them -- both of them took Sandy to task for one reason or another.

Those comments are now gone, replaced by a single comment from one "Fay," whose job appears to be to stroke Sandy's brow and soothe her worried countenance.

Canada's Blogging Tories have some nerve bitching about how other people run their comments sections.

Yeah, about that influence peddling, Rahim ...

If this puts a smile on my face, does that make me a bad person?

Guergis’s future in doubt; husband Jaffer faces more accusations

OTTAWA — Helena Guergis, the minister of state for the status of women, may face new political peril after revelations emerged Thursday that her husband, former Conservative MP Rahim Jaffer, was using one of her taxpayer-funded parliamentary BlackBerrys and that he had boasted of his connections to Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s office to further his private business interests.

A spokesman for Harper, Dimitri Soudas, said any claims Jaffer may have made about his access to Harper or the PMO are untrue.

“Any accusation that the Prime Minister’s Office has opened doors for Rahim Jaffer or his associates is false and it is also absurd,” Soudas said.

So here's my question: If Jaffer has been selling himself based on his alleged access and influence with the Stephen Harper Party of Canada, and the Party categorically denies any such thing, does that constitute fraud on Jaffer's part? Seriously, the entertainment value here just never stops, does it?

LEAVE RAHIM ALONE! I could continue mocking official Conservative Party comfort girl Sandy Crux and her tear-streaked attempts at defending Jaffer but, in the interests of effective time management, I'll just summarize it for you:



Really, that was worth the two minutes, wasn't it?

Oh, fuck off, Sandy.

The attack of the whiny-ass titty babies.

Ask a stupid question, Margaret ...

The Globe's Margaret Wente apparently rouses herself slowly and painfully from the bar to ask one of the dumbest questions imaginable, and is promptly roasted by the Dawg. But this inspires me to ask a (sort of) similar question:

Why are all female, Canadian conservative bloggers (or ubiquitous commenters) -- apparently without a single exception -- such hideous, vile, despicable wastes of skin, whose only value might be as organ donors if any self-respecting remotely human body wouldn't reject their offerings out of sheer outrage at having anything to do with them?

You think I jest? Shirley, I do not. Let us enumerate the unspeakable horrors: Kate McMillan, Kathy Shaidle, Brenda/"Hunter", Maria "Dodo Can Spell" Nunes, "Blue Like You" Joanne, Wendy "Right Girl" Sullivan, Steve Janke, Suzie All-Caps, Sandy Crux, "CanadianSense", "wilson", "sassylassie" ... really, must I go on?

Is there, in fact, a single prominent right-wing female bloggy voice that isn't some repulsive combination of deranged, batshit crazy, racist or just plain sack-of-soup ignorant? No, seriously, feel free to offer up a name. Because as God is my witness, I'm trying and nothing's coming to me.

And don't get me started on the journalists. Barkara Kay, Christie Blatchford, ...

And here's where we juxtapose.

• Blogging Tory and house fluffer Sandy Crux laments the sad state of academic preparedness amongst today's incoming college students.


• Your Blogging Tories.

I'm not sure that could have been any more ironic.

Oh, this should be good.

Blogging Tory "Hunter" almost has a good idea:

Your Assignment If You Choose To Accept It!

Sandy over at Just Politics has had a great idea (H/T Catherine), let's get together to do a Truth Video, maybe called "The Prorogation Myths".

Actually, I think that's a terrific idea. It would be just ducky if one of Stephen Taylor's loyal shills took the time to do, you know, research and figure out the facts and report on actual reality, as it were.

Sadly, though, the potential of posting something useful and informative lasted all of one sentence as Brenda continues:

So I am asking you to send me links to videos and radio broadcasts about proroguing Parliament both in favour or not, send me video links about the Afghanistan detainee affair and anything else you think has skewed the Conservative message on proroguing. Blatant bias by the media is good, newspaper quotes by MP's would be great.

Here's a hint, Brenda -- once you get into yapping on about being in favour or not, and encouraging people to go hunting for bias, you're no longer in the realm of objective reality, you're just spewing opinion. In other words, Brenda, before you even finished your first paragraph, you've clearly given up on what you proposed to do.

Unsurprisingly, the fun continues in the comments section as "Liberal Supporter" asks a simple question about the mechanics of editing and posting videos, and Brenda "Har har har!!" refuses to let him in on the tricks because, after all, videos are a Conservative trade secret, or something.

I'll go out on a limb and predict that what's eventually posted will be dishonest crap. Call it a hunch.

Why the "Canadians Against Proroguing Parliament" Facebook group sucks.

Let's follow the frantic, desperate arguments emanating from Canada's whackjobs and wingnuts as to why their Facebook group was super, ultra, mega-cool, while this new Facebook group blows dead bears.

Initially, it was, "Har har har, we had 127,000 members and you guys are pathetic! Har har har!"

Now that the CAPP Facebook group has exceeded 100,000 members, the dissing has to be reworded. Here's Captain Canada Stephen Taylor, trying to distract everyone with a bright, shiny level of stupid as he moves the goalposts:

We'll see if those Facebook users can move past poking each other online and hit the streets to protest. We turned out about 20,000 real life people (ie. offline) to protest. It appears that the prorogies have so far turned out 5: ...

In other words, Taylor has just redefined the metric for success. Now that the pure membership number threatens to kick his ass (nullifying that first argument), success shall be measured by actual political activism out on the streets because, after all, it's critically important to suddenly ignore and minimize the very argument you were just making now that you can't make it any more.

And Canada's most senile blogger Sandy Crux has a totally different approach:

Skinny — I would agree with you except most of the anti-group are simply Harper/Conservative haters. Otherwise, getting involved in a group like that is the essence of democracy.

Did you catch that? When Conservatives do it, it's a true grassroots expression of the democratic ideal. When progressives do it, it's just a bunch of haters so they don't count.

What other pathetic rationalizations should we expect to see? Surely they're going to get even stupider than the above. It's kind of inevitable.

The irony is just crippling.

Briefly revisiting the rapid descent into senility of Blogging Tory Sandy Crux (and ignoring the utter crap she writes regarding KAIROS), here's her delightful closer:

No, in my opinion, this [KAIROS] issue has nothing to do with Tory zealotry. Rather it has everything to do with fairness, openness and government accountability.

Yes, Sandy ... as a misty-eyed worshipper of Stephen Harper, why don't you lecture the rest of us on fairness, openness and government accountability?

By the way, that's why we don't engage them intellectually.

Sensitive much, Craig?

Craig Smith -- whose new Canadian conservative blogging aggregator "Canadian Conservatives" boasts the likes of "Hunter", Dr. Roy Eappen, Fred "Gay and Right" Litwin, Sandy Crux and Justin "Raging Roids" Hoffer -- presumes to lecture us on the issue of childish behaviour:



I would have linked, but I'm not sure whether Craig is having one of those "Thanks for the link, it's great for my site traffic, haha!" days, or one of those "Stupid leftards always trolling our sites, I wish they'd leave us alone" days. If anyone figures it out, just let me know.

P.S. If you hang out long enough at the main page and watch the photos go by, you start to notice a theme. Where I come from, we call that a "man-crush."

Oh, this should be good.

Welcome to Fellatio and Astroglide Central. The comedic value promises to be enormous.

OH, YEAH, IT'S GOING TO BE GOOD. So far, new members over there include the depressingly senile Sandy "Everything Stephen Harper does is an accomplishment!" Crux, Justin "Raging Non-Soldier" Hoffer and Dr. Jabba the Roy Eappen. It's like founder Craig Smith sat down one day and wondered, "Is there a place where we could give the most addlepated and deranged Blogging Tories their own sandbox?" And he made it so.

AM I GOOD AT PREDICTIONS or what?

The entertainment value just went up a notch.

For the love of Mutt, Sandy, pick a blog and stick with it!

P.S. Why, yes, I am right about everything all of the time. But you're all used to that by now.

Sure, let's talk about prorogation.

Over at Progressive Bloggers of Canada, all the talk this morning is about Stephen Harper once again possibly proroguing Parliament to save his worthless, sorry ass from accountability and transparency. But let's retain some perspective here, shall we?

A young girl was trudging along a mountain path, trying to reach her grandmother's house. It was bitter cold, and the wind cut like a knife. When she was within sight of her destination, she heard a rustle at her feet.

Looking down, she saw a snake. Before she could move, the snake spoke to her. He said, "I am about to die. It is too cold for me up here, and I am freezing. There is no food in these mountains, and I am starving. Please put me under your coat and take me with you."

"No," replied the girl. "I know your kind. You are a rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you will bite me, and your bite is poisonous."

"No, no," said the snake. "If you help me, you will be my best friend. I will treat you differently."

The little girl sat down on a rock for a moment to rest and think things over. She looked at the beautiful markings on the snake and had to admit that it was the most beautiful snake she had ever seen.

Suddenly, she said, "I believe you. I will save you. All living things deserve to be treated with kindness."

The little girl reached over, put the snake gently under her coat and proceeded toward her grandmother's house.

Within a moment, she felt a sharp pain in her side. The snake had bitten her.

"How could you do this to me?" she cried. "You promised that you would not bite me, and I trusted you!"

"You knew what I was when you picked me up," hissed the snake as he slithered away.

The lesson here is that you can't criticize Stephen Harper for trying that stunt again. Quite simply, you know that he's a useless, lying, corrupt asshole and it is simply his nature to do useless, lying, corrupt assholish things. It's what he does. It's who he is. It is the most fundamental part of his makeup and it should surprise absolutely no one that he might be contemplating the same MASSIVE middle finger to democracy that he got away with last year. So don't waste any anger in that direction.

Save it, instead, for the one person who has the power to let him get away with it -- Governor-General Michaelle Jean. I've written before about what kind of worthless hack she is, but it will be interesting to see if she would grant a second request for prorogation, when it's so clearly and obviously based on nothing but a weaselly strategy to save Harper's butt.

Don't bitch and whine about Stephen Harper. He's a pathetic excuse for a human being, and he's doing nothing more or less than what everyone expects of him -- being a pathetic excuse for a human being. Hold your fire for when (or if) he actually tries to pull this off. Then prepare your torches and pitchforks for whoever lets him get away with this.

Again.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS! I was going to mock the depressingly senile Sandy Crux and her insipid list of "Harper Government Accomplishments" which, for the longest time, bragged about the hilariously toothless "Federal Accountability Act." Curiously, though, the current incarnation of that list doesn't mention it.

I find that fascinating. Is it possible that even Sandy has realized how hysterically dishonest an "accomplishment" that was?

Yo, Dawg! Is it worth it?

The National Birdcage Liner introduces respected blogger Dr. Dawg to its readership by first apologizing profusely, and making it clear they won't be making a habit of supporting intelligent, thoughtful writing:

In the spirit of adventure for which the National Post is well known, we have (occasionally) welcomed contributions by supporters of parties that are not on our list of favourites, i.e. Liberals. This gets the socialists all stirred up though, and rightly so, since many of them don't much like Liberals either. With that in mind, Full Comment welcomes our latest blogger, John Baglow, well known as the author of the Dr. Dawg web site. Before everyone starts sending me nasty emails, think about this: There's nothing wrong with listening to other opinions; it's when you start agreeing with them that you need to worry.

At which point the NP editors throw down the drawbridge and let in all manner of ignorant, mouth-breathing cretin to the comments section:

... Oh good, another nihilistic satirist, merely delighted with the sound of his own voice, adding nothing of constructive value to any discussion.

... Thank you, Kelly...

A real socialist heh. A self admitted zealot. So what else is new. Hopefully you will do better next time other than this self-indulging drivel...

Welcome, legend has it that everytime a socialist is actually willing to debate or even listen an angel gets it's wings. Ironic isn't it...

And thoughtful, nuanced discourse wouldn't be complete without the ubiquitous "Sassylassie":

What does banning the minaret have to do with Free Speech? The Minaret is a sign of Islamic Supremacism and the abuse and subjugation of women's equality. Thus do you think it's okay for the Islamic Supremacist to place a symbol that screams, to me, burning cross and white hoods on their place of worship? Funny Neo Nazis bad but their brothers' in arms the Islamists are good.

I'll never understand the loopy upside down logic of the radical leftwingers, never.

They better be paying you for this, John.

AFTERSNARK: Unsurprisingly, some of the less biologically-developed of the Idiotsphere have some unfinished business with the Doctor, unable as they are to actually engage him on the contents of his, you know, column:

by Alexander (Sandy)
Dec 04 2009
3:11 PM

I gave up visiting Baglow's blog long ago. He bans commenters when they become too effective -- "You're a troll; so, off with your head!". Meanwhile, a chorus of trained seals adorn the perimeter of his echo chamber barking the most exquisite nonsense and abuse at all who dare challenge the dogma. Hopefully, this distasteful man's 'deal' with the NP does not include censoring commenters here.

Yes, Sandy, that's what we in the Progress-o-sphere are notorious for -- our iron-fisted, fascistic control of our comments sections. That's it exactly.

Join us next week when the Doctor writes eloquently on another topic, and Sandy drops by to bitch and whine about the Doc's blog again. We can see the pattern starting already.

They better be paying you for this, John.

JUST TO BE CLEAR, I'm not fundamentally opposed to Dawg writing for free. I'm offended by the freedom the NP gives commenters to ignore the substance of his post and write asinine, vacuous, offensive comments. If I were Dawg, my only non-negotiable dealbreaker of a condition would have been to not allow comments. At all. After all, what's the point when the majority of them don't rise above the level of Sassylassie's deranged drooling?

Awwwwwwkward.

Oh, dear ... this might cause some grumbling amongst the disciples:

GST hike may be only option

The Conservative government might be forced to think the unthinkable: a rise in the GST.

An increasing number of economists believe a hike, even a temporary one, is the only way Canada is going to get out of its fiscal mess. In their view, too many factors are lined up against the federal government -- slower economic growth, increased demand for services and an eventual upward move in interest rates -- to achieve fiscal order through expenditure control alone.

Even though the Conservatives are loath to do so, a GST increase has to be among the options they examine if they are to have any success returning to budget balance, analysts say.

If this happens, it will -- unsurprisingly -- be added to Sandy Crux's list of "Harper Government Accomplishments." Under "Bold, Courageous Initiatives by Stephen Harper to Solve Canada's Economic Crisis," I'm guessing. And right after the entry touting the accomplishment to cut the GST.

One suspects that even if those two things were literally listed consecutively, Canada's Blogging Tories wouldn't draw the connection. They're kind of that dumb.

BONUS DUMBASSITUDE: You know what's coming, don't you? Yes, you do:



That was so unnecessary, wasn't it?

ZOMG!!!111!1!1!: This is, as I'm sure you can appreciate, just adorable.

The Steve Jankification of the Twatsy.

You just can't sneak anything by Mullet Boy:



Or it could be that I published the original article, let it sit for a while, went back, thought, "You know, that could be snarkier, I can do better than that." And changed it.

It's actually painful when you have to explain something that trivial. Check back later when I might have come up with a better punchline to this post.

AFTERSNARK: It's entertaining to hear Twatsy whinging on about a punchline quietly changing when his mentor, idol and role model Richard "NAMBLA" Evans, some months ago, vanished his entire blog. The whole thing. In its entirety. All of it. Without a trace. Racism, creepy child rape obsession, soft core porn and all.

No, I refuse to link over there; those of you who have less than fond memories of NAMBLA Dick know where his blog was, and if you've popped by there any time over the last several months, you know that it's been "Under Construction" this whole time.

So before Twatsy starts whinging on about memory holes, he might want to check in with his hero and sensei NAMBLA Dick and see whassup over there. It's just a thought. Then he can go give Sandy Crux the spanking she deserves.