Thursday, November 12, 2020

Rebel News ... bringing the burning stupid.

I think it's worth revisiting this recent dumbfuckitude from Rebel News, if only to demonstrate the monstrously stupid shash that Rebel's loyal followers are expected to believe, so work with me here.

As I recently mocked, Rebel News is reporting that a USPS worker alleges (through inveterate con dork and scam weasel James O'Keefe) that Pennsylvania mail workers were engaged in a nefarious scheme to "backdate ballots," ostensibly to sneak in ineligible ballots to help Joe Biden win the state.

Here's Ezra's boutique piece-of-crap media outlet, pimping the stupid:


There is so much thigh-suckingly moronic about the above, but let's pick on just a couple examples, shall we?

First, it's well known that, even though the U.S. election was held on November 3, Pennsylvania had already ruled that ballots received by November 6 would still be valid, as long as they had been postmarked by election day (that is, November 3). Here, read it for yourself:


So what does that mean? It means that, as long as a ballot was postmarked by November 3, it was perfectly valid as long as it was received by November 6, which means that none of those ballots needed any "backdating" -- they would have been perfectly fine. But that raises the obvious question -- what exactly was it that would have needed "backdating", and the obvious answer is, any ballots that had been mailed after November 3. Are you with me so far? Seriously, do you understand this point, because if you don't, you're in the wrong place and should go read something simpler, like a Lorrie Goldstein column. So where does that leave us?

Well, that leaves us with the logical consequence that the only ballots that would have benefited from backdating would have been those mailed after November 3, which raises the question -- who would have been stupid enough to mail their election ballot after election day?

No, really, that's a serious question ... given the importance of that election, and the relentless encouragement to vote by mail and get your ballot in early, do you seriously think that a significant part of the Pennsylvania electorate woke up on November 4, turned on the news, saw all the election coverage from the previous evening and thought to themselves, "Gosh, I better go drop my ballot in the mail."

Really? You think that was a major issue? People so stupid they mailed their ballots after election day? You figure counting those ballots was going to swing an election where Biden won the state by almost 54,000 votes? Again, if you're seriously considering that possibility, well, you know, Lorrie Goldstein. But that's not even the stupidest aspect of this.

Mail-in ballots are sealed -- while you can see it's a ballot, there is no way to see what's inside short of tearing open the double envelope, which would immediately invalidate the ballot. In other words, the only way to "backdate" a late-mailed ballot and still have it considered valid would be to postmark it unopened and contents unseen, which sort of negates the whole point of trying to swing the election to Joe Biden.

That is the level of gullibility we are dealing with here -- mouth-breathing yokels like the regular fans of Rebel News who have never been known to over-analyze anything. It's depressing. Unsurprising, but depressing.

Did I mention Lorrie Goldstein?

AFTERSNARK: Someone is currently activating their defamation lawyers:



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