The Saga of Patrick Ross -- New House Rules

For reasons stemming from a fundamental difference in philosophy, the cripplingly hilarious "Saga of Patrick Ross" is going to be republished here one part at a time, with that fundamental difference in philosophy as follows.

Having put up with Patrick Ross' relentless defamation over the course of almost three years, while I'm going to leave the comments sections open for the entire series of posts, I absolutely will not tolerate trolls, idiots and sock puppets dropping by for the purpose of retrying my defamation lawsuit against him. Given that that case was tried and ruled overwhelmingly in my favour over a year ago, I have no patience for anyone who wants to re-argue its fundamental issues all over again.

I will particularly have zero tolerance for anyone who stupidly wants to repeat the same defamation that has one Patrick Ross in debt to me for currently well over $85,000 in judgment and court costs. If that's your plan, you're free to do that but you'll do it somewhere else.

Quite simply, after putting up with Patrick Ross' defamatory bullshit for month after month after libelous month, this is my turn to tell the story and I have no intention of letting utter dingbats hijack the discussion.

My blog. My rules. Deal with it.

Hiatus! And thanks for all the fish.

Dr. Dawg has the right idea -- a month away from the blog. Of course, he has an actual excuse -- academic research.

Me? I'm just tired.

Now I could yammer on endlessly regarding my justification ... hey, why don't I do just that? In a nutshell, I'm tired not so much of blogging but what it's turned into. Used to be it represented some humour, some snark and -- most importantly -- actual, genuine intellectual discourse.

Well, those times are long gone, aren't they? Look around. If you're a Canadian progressive, who exactly are you going to exchange intellectual banter with? Hunter? Dodo? Kate McMillan? Neo Conservative? Ezra Levant? Kathy Shaidle? Sandy Crux? Dr. Jabba the Roy?

And even if you put in some legitimate civil effort (as a number of progressives have done), you know what's coming? "Harharhar, stupid leftards, it sure is easy to upset them, harharhar!" Followed immediately by the inevitable savage and brutal comment moderation and deletion. No intellectual discourse for those folks.

Quite simply, there's no middle ground to even attempt discourse any more. Canada's conservatives aren't just, well, conservative. No, they are, for the most part, screeching, scientifically illiterate bigots, racists and hypocrites. And after a while, simply mocking them gets tedious and repetitive. I mean, how long can I milk the theme of, "Hey, did you see the awesomely stupid thing that [insert random Blogging Tory name here] wrote today!?!?" You start to feel that you might as well just number code the jokes to save time. After all, I need only write "Molecules!" to inform everyone that Sandy Crux just posted something howlingly idiotic.

But, really, in the end, I just have other, more important things I want to do. It's been fun but, after well over 10,000 posts and over one and a quarter million visitors, there's other stuff I'd rather spend my time on -- books to read, technical tutorials to write, courseware to design, people to bounce some business ideas off of, seminars to give, conferences to attend, development kits on which to install Linux ... well, you get the idea. And when I think about it (and it doesn't take much thought), all of the above appeals to me way more than mocking Stephen Taylor for whatever asinine piece of offal he posted yesterday.

Will this stick? Who knows? Perhaps there's an up-and-coming blogger who wants to join the crew at CC HQ and poke stupid right-wingers with a sharp stick. If you're out there and this sounds like you, drop me a note and we'll see. But when I look around, I'm pretty sure the Canadian Progress-o-sphere is in good hands. And if there are any bloggy get-togethers, sure, I might crash it and socialize with my ideological buds.

But for now, at least, I've got a buttload of cool technical projects and people who want more of my time and, in the grand scheme of things, those cool technical projects have a lot more appeal than whatever douchebagitude Steve "The Premature eJankulator" Janke horked up recently.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do for a high-tech European company and I feel like doing a good job of it. And that means starting today. Now.

Well, OK, after a glass of scotch. Then I'll start. And thanks for all the fish.

P.S. Molecules! You had to know that was coming.

OK, that's just weird.

What the f...?



Now they're just stalking me.

Being right about everything all of the time.

Oh, come on ... when everyone else was celebrating Speaker Peter Milliken's Parliamentary smackdown of the Cons over the Afghan detainees documents, I know I predicted something like this:

Opposition balks at Tory loophole in detainee records deal
Conservative proposal would allow exemptions for some documents

The Harper government has been trying to insert a loophole in a deal that’s supposed to grant opposition MPs full access to secret records on Afghan detainees – a proposal that could derail negotiations if not resolved.

Opposition parties are fighting the attempted exemption that would let Ottawa withhold some documents on the grounds they are “not necessary or appropriate for the purpose of holding Parliament to account."

Feel free to acknowledge my spectacular talent at prognostication any time.

You keep using that word "transparency" ...

Apparently, we have a new right-wing talking point:

Critics point out that Britain pegged its costs for hosting a one-day G20 meeting in London last year at $30-million – a relative pittance, but an amount some U.K. newspapers still decried as spendthrift.

How to account for the Canada-U.K. discrepancy? Bookkeeping, according to [security czar Ward] Elcock.

“You’re assuming, and I frankly don’t, that the public numbers out there are correct,” he said. “If you could actually compare apples to apples, the costs are going to be fairly comparable.

“We have been much more transparent about total costs. I don’t mean that other countries are hiding costs,” he cautioned, saying that other, unnamed governments’ accounting methods are “just different.”

Ah, so the only reason Canada seems to be spending 30 to 40 times as much is that, apparently, we're simply being more open, more transparent, more accountable about that budget, is that it?

In that case, one might reasonably ask where that transparency and accountability was back in March:

In March, Canada allocated C$179 million for security costs at the two summits. This week it shocked legislators by revealing the overall total would in fact be many hundreds of millions of dollars more.

Sorry, Ward, but you can't have it both ways. You can't brag about transparency and accountability now after you clearly hid the real numbers two months ago. It doesn't work that way.

Unless you live in Stephen Harper's world. Then, sadly, it always works that way.

What a convenient interpretation.

Blogging Tory Hugh MacIntyre gets all pedantic and everything:

Government versus the Conservative Party

The headline of this story reads 'Tories apologize to India over visa feud.' Shouldn't it read 'government apologize to India over visa feud.' It isn't like the Conservative Party of Canada is making the apology. It is the government.

There is a fine line between the actions of a political party in government and the actions of the government. But when dealing directly with foreign powers it is very clear what side of the line it is on. Minister Kenney was speaking on behave [sic] of the government of Canada not the Conservative Party.

So why the misleading title? Is it to make it sound like this incident is somehow the Conservative's fault?

We now return you to your regular programming, where the Stephen Harper Party of Canada runs the country, and the entire Opposition are simply second-class citizens who can shut the fuck up.

P.S. Follow the link and make your own determination as to who exactly owes the apology. No, really, go ahead. Amuse yourself.

Oh, and pay close attention to this bit:

Immigration Minister Jason Kenney issued a statement Friday saying Canada works closely on security matters with India.

“The Government of Canada therefore deeply regrets the recent incident in which letters drafted by public service officials during routine visa refusals to Indian nationals cast false aspersions on the legitimacy of work carried out by Indian defence and security institutions, which operate under the framework of democratic processes and the rule of law,” Mr. Kenney said in the statement.

“This language, or the inaccurate impression it has created, in no way reflects the policy or position of the Government of Canada.”

At least he got that last part right. It wasn't the policy of position of the "Government of Canada" -- it was simple Conservative racism from beginning to end. With the unfuckable Jason Kenney's fingerprints all over it.

BY THE WAY, HUGH, if you want to get all pedantic like that, you might reserve your irritation for this sort of crap on the Government of Canada website:

PM builds stronger collaboration with Mexico

Really? The PM built a stronger collaboration with Mexico all by himself? That's just awesome. I would have thought the rest of the Government of Canada would have been involved as well. My bad.

BONUS TRACK: I could do this all day.

Jason? Jason who?

Canada's Blogging Tories, who absolutely delight in pointing out the dishonesty, hypocrisy and shifting ethical standards of, well, everyone else, have nothing to say on the subject:



Pretend you're surprised.

P.S. In case you needed reminding:

Document the douchebagitude.

Seriously, go wild.

WELL, THAT'S JUST EMBARRASSING: Commenter Lenny draws our attention to this. I am ashamed.

Syrup? Yes Please!

The unfuckable Jason Kenney launches the Conservative Party of Canada space program, powered by a heady mixture of flat out lies and methane. Should you have a moment or three the good Rev. paperboy called me up late last night and we had a little chat. Tune on in to the Maple Syrup Revolution for tales of fibbers, cons and douchebags named Baird.

None dare call it "corruption."

You will, I wager, not find a single Blogging Tory calling out Tony Clement on this:

Clement took part in a 2008 promotional video for Lord & Partners Ltd., a company that produces environmentally friendly cleaning products. The company is based in Clement's Ontario riding of Parry Sound-Muskoka.

In the video, Clement identifies himself as the minister of health, as he was at the time, and extends greetings to the people of China "on behalf of myself and the government of Canada."

And here's the fun part:

As industry minister, Clement subsequently appointed the producer of the video, longtime supporter George Young, to the Canadian Tourism Commission. Moreover, Lord & Partners this year received three federal contracts, worth a total of $41,000.

And, as we have already established, IOKIYAC.

AFTERSNARK: In that article, here's part of the apparent defense (all subsequent emphasis finger-pointingly added):

Harper was not in the Commons but his parliamentary secretary, Pierre Poilievre, stood by Clement, one of the prime minister's most seasoned ministers.

Poilievre said Clement was not involved in awarding any federal contracts to Lord & Partners. He said the company owner has never contributed to the Conservative party and that Clement did not gain financially in any way by helping to promote the company.

But that part is most emphatically not relevant, as Impolitical reproduces the appropriate legislation:

For the purposes of this Act, a public office holder is in a conflict of interest when he or she exercises an official power, duty or function that provides an opportunity to further his or her private interests or those of his or her relatives or friends or to improperly further another person’s private interests.

It certainly seems like it's that last part that would apply here, wouldn't you say?

All the douchebaggery that's fit to ignore.

Submitted without comment:

The unfuckable Jason Kenney: Liar!

Via Stageleft, we have the following beauty, which deserves MASSIVE distribution:



Take it away, sports fans.

Thank ya, thank ya very much.

You know I only do it to annoy.

P.S. I'm in some pretty good company there, wouldn't you say?

Dear Bob Rae:

Do or not do. There is no try.

That $200 million security bill? Down the memory hole.

Maybe I'm just pooching this, but it seems that all those online references that once promised no more than a $200 million security bill for the upcoming summits have all gone bye-bye.

Google for it -- here, let me save you the trouble. I use that phrase since it seemed to be popular, and at least Google claims to have found a few hits.

Now follow those links. Go ahead. I'll wait right here.

Do you see any pages at the other end of those links? And if you do, do they say anything about that specific amount of money? Hmmmmmmm?

Or maybe search for some variation of that phrase. Can you find anything online that still refers to that earlier, much smaller amount? I'm just curious.

None dare call it hypocrisy.

Awwwwwkward:

Industry minister admits to breaking copyright law to build iPod collection

OTTAWA — Industry Minister Tony Clement has an admission to make: He built his impressive music library on his iPod in part by breaking Canada's copyright law.

Clement, stickhandling the copyright file for the Conservative government along with Heritage Minister James Moore, is poised to introduce new copyright legislation within days. But until the law is updated to permit Canadians to transfer music onto MP3 players from CDs they have purchased, Clement stands on the wrong side of Canada's copyright law.

"Well you see, you know I think I have to admit it probably runs afoul of the current law because the current law does not allow you to shift formats. So the fact of the matter is I have compact discs that I've transferred, I have compact discs from my children or my wife that I've transferred onto my iPod. None of that is allowable under the current regime," Clement, a music buff who also legally purchases songs from iTunes to build a digital database that now stands at 10,452 songs.

In unrelated news, Canada's conservatives are staunch law-and-order types. Just ask them.

Ah, so that's what unfettered influence looks like.

The nad crushing power of the JoJo:

James Traver’s column is very strange today. It is lacking a certain je ne sais quois…

Where is the anger and the venom? Where is the over-the-top pugilistic rhetoric?

Are you feeling o.k. James? Or could it possibly be that you want to work your way out of that Bad rating you received in our media survey?

Apparently, there exists a universe in which professional journalist James Travers is terribly, terribly concerned about what screechy wingnut JoJo and her adoring gang of drooling yips thinks. That must be a very odd place.

Republicans discover the Intertoobz ... what could possibly go wrong?

Well, OK ... besides that?

Oh, so that's what that word means.

Irony n. , pl. , -nies: In which a highly-placed representative of a major religion that has, for decades, fucked children and covered it up, presumes to lecture the rest of us on "moral disorder."

You can't put a price tag on ego.

So ... what price for 72 hours of unabashed, pretentious primping and preening of one's ego on the world stage? Ah, a billion dollars:

Summit costs hit $1.1B

The cost of hosting the G8 and G20 summits next month in Ontario now stands at $1.1 billion and further outlays are likely, federal documents show.

The price tag includes $160 million for hospitality, infrastructure, food safety and extra staffing. That amount is in addition to the $933-million security bill the Tories revealed earlier this week.

"This might be the most expensive 72 hours in Canadian history," Liberal MP Mark Holland said.

And if my calculations are correct, that would put the price of five minutes of everyone standing around, waiting for Stephen the Corpulent to get back from the bathroom for the group photo at around $1,150,000, easily the most expensive dump of all time.

SOMEONE SHOULD PUNCH VIC TOEWS IN THE MOUTH: Seriously:

When asked by the Liberals during Wednesday's question period to explain the costs, [egregious philanderer and hypocrite Vic] Toews said the government believes the experts when they say such a level of security is necessary.

"I understand that the Liberals don't believe in securing Canadians or the visitors here," Toews told the House. "We're different."

Tune in tomorrow when Stephen Harper sonorously proclaims:

"I can understand why the Opposition would prefer that visiting international leaders were violently assaulted or assassinated while on Canadian soil. We're different."

To the mainstream media's everlasting shame, they would simply print that and move on.