Saturday, September 20, 2008

I think the word you're looking for is "millstone."


Those last few years of political employment? Not as valuable as you might have hoped for:

Former Bush adviser on working for Bush: Don’t want to ‘emphasize that on your resume.’

In the Texas Observer today, Anthony Zurcher describes how “no one’s been rolling out the red carpet” for Bush administration officials as they return to Texas. “For every Karen Hughes who lands a highly paid consulting gig, there’s an Alberto Gonzales, who seems condemned to wander the Earth in search of gainful employment,” writes Zurcher. Former Bush pollster Matthew Dowd explains why the Bush association makes it difficult “to make a go of a political career“:

If any of Bush’s Texas crowd wants to make a go of a political career, however, they’re going to have to do it in spite of their ties to the administration and not because of them, at least in near term.

“Bush is an anchor,” Dowd said. “I don’t think you can take your experience in Washington working with the Bush administration and emphasize that on your resumé.”


I'm thinking that we might be seeing some of the same up here in the not-so-distant future:

"Hi, my name's Stephen Taylor and I'm interested in the position of political researcher and assistant. Well, I was the co-founder of the Blogging Tories and ... hello? Hello? Fuck!"

If life was fair, he and Patsy Ross would one day have adjoining cardboard boxes above an intermittently warm street grate somewhere.

The douchebagitude of Jason Cherniak.


Um ... yup.

It's. About. Fucking. Time.




Now if only they'd shown Stephen Harper sodomizing an amputee war orphan while biting the head off a live kitten, it would have been perfect.

The lack of self-awareness is astonishing.


Over at the blog of Canada's Totally Most Bestest Squinchiest Blogger, guest blogger "Captain Capitalism" is really fucking ticked off with capitalism right about now. Oh, and he'd like to murder a bunch of people:


In other news, I've heard rumours that we "lefties" are rude and uncivil, and sometimes intemperate. Have you heard that? I've heard that.

BONUS TRACK
: Chester gets all linky and everything.

Lisa Raitt comment watch: One and done.


It's official: CPoC Halton candidate Lisa Raitt doesn't give a fuck what you think.

On the bright side, one can at least give her credit for not even pretending to care. I'm sure that saves time all around.

P.S. One could, if one was interested, drop Lisa a note at "info@lisaraitt.ca" and ask politely why she is so monumentally uninterested in what her constituents have to say. Or one could just tell her she's a worthless douche and a blight on the face of democracy and would she please crawl back under the rain barrel she oozed out from.

I'm leaning towards the latter.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Numbers don’t lie.


Mouthbreathing Republicans on the other hand ...

Speaking of Jews ...


Heh. Indeed. I await the imminent, sputtering outrage of Canada's Blogging Tories with bated breath.

P.S. And while we're at it, I'd like a pony, too. Yeah, a pony would be great.

Lisa Raitt comment watch: Day 1.


In which we start keeping track of how long it takes for CPoC candidate and hermetically-sealed douchebag Lisa Raitt to finally open up her blog for public comments.

That's one.

While you were sleeping ...


I'm sorry ... excuse me?

TORONTO, CHICOUTIMI, QUE., KITCHENER, ONT. — Stephen Harper has offered a symbolic carrot to Quebec cultural nationalists, promising to enshrine the francophone representation on the body that regulates Canada's airwaves.

The promise, which the Conservative Leader unveiled in a speech in Chicoutimi, Que., Wednesday night, would see the job of chair of the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission alternate from English to French speakers, while the two vice-chair jobs would be held by one English speaker and one French speaker.

The chair's job already typically alternates, but the Conservatives want to make that a legal requirement.

Apparently, having savagely opposed them for years, conservatives are suddenly big fans of quotas. Who knew?

P.S. Dear Quebec nationalists: That symbolic carrot? Yeah, Stephen's going to be wanting that back at some point.

Your financial destruction -- a CPoC wet dream.


Why, yes, and why don't we just keep emulating everything fair and noble about the right-wing financial madness currently happening down south? After all, what can possibly go wrong? Oh, wait ...

This is what a Category 4 financial crisis looks like. Giant blue-chip financial institutions swept away in a matter of days. Banks refusing to lend to other banks. Russia closing its stock market to stop the panicked selling. Gold soaring $70 in a single trading session. Developing countries' currencies in a free fall. Money-market funds warning they might not be able to return every dollar invested. Daily swings of three, four, five hundred points in the Dow Jones industrial average.

What we are witnessing may be the greatest destruction of financial wealth that the world has ever seen -- paper losses measured in the trillions of dollars. Corporate wealth. Oil wealth. Real estate wealth. Bank wealth. Private-equity wealth. Hedge fund wealth. Pension wealth. It's a painful reminder that, when you strip away all the complexity and trappings from the magnificent new global infrastructure, finance is still a confidence game -- and once the confidence goes, there's no telling when the selling will stop.

And here's the kicker in the very next paragraph:

But more than psychology is involved here. What is really going on, at the most fundamental level, is that the United States is in the process of being forced by its foreign creditors to begin living within its means.

And there, boys and girls, is where Stephen Harper and his crazed yahoos and dingbats want to take you. Just give them a few more years.

You keep using that word "accountability" ...


In which CPoC candidate Lisa Raitt invites your comments, then tells you to fuck right off. If this surprises you, you haven't been paying attention.

AH, THE EYE-ROLLING IRONY
: Someone who presumes to lecture you on "leadership" has closed comments on every post on her blog. Which is somewhat inconvenient, since how am I supposed to let her know that she is a snivelling, cowardly, hypocritical douchebag? No problem, I'll figure something out; I enjoy a challenge.

Maybe I'll mail her a brick.

You can read the difference quality makes.


Thank ya, thank ya very much:


I'm here until Thursday, try the veal.

Um ... come again?


I'm sorry ... I must be reading this incorrectly:

US Weighing Plan to Set Up Facility to Hold Bad Debts

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson is working on a plan that would set up a government facility to take on bad debts from financial institutions, preventing a worsening of the global credit crisis, Wall Street sources have told CNBC.

The facility would be similar to the Resolution Trust Corporation, which was set up in the late 1980s to take on all the failed thrift assets during the savings and loan crisis, these sources said.

Paulson is said to be shopping the proposal to lawmakers in Congress, a congressional aide told Reuters.

Such a move, according to its advocates, would allow banks to shovel bad debt off their balance sheets and send them back to business as usual.

I must have slept through the sudden metamorphosis of right-wing capitalism, when independence, self-reliance, dog-eat-dog and "only the strong survive" became optional.

In unrelated news, people on welfare are disgusting leeches on society. Or something to that effect.

History's lessons lost.


Shorter Premature eJankulator: "As a Blogging Tory, I am mortally offended that others would look down on conservatives intellectually."

Yeah ... he went there.

Those who do not remember history ...


... are condemned to write retarded blog posts:

Maybe this can be PM Harper's next campaign pledge.

Yes, Luke. And we all know what happened to the last 55 of those. But this one's gonna be different. You'll see. Really.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

You have to think it gets tiring after a while.


You have to wonder if Blogging Tory co-founder Stephen Taylor ever just gets weary of an aggregator full of imbeciles whose attempts at intellectual discourse rarely rise above the level of this?

Seriously, Stephen, is that what you're counting on for your journalistic legacy? 'Cuz if it is, I have some painfully bad news for you.

I did not know that.


Apparently, Wendy "Never Right Girl" Sullivan’s doppelganger works for Lawrence Cannon (emphasis gleefully added).

The office of a Conservative MP and cabinet minister has issued an apology to Algonquins in his western Quebec riding after his personal assistant allegedly made remarks that could be considered racist.

The comments allegedly made by Darlene Lannigan came at the launch of the re-election campaign of Lawrence Cannon, transport minister and Conservative Leader Stephen Harper's Quebec lieutenant.

"We would like to take this opportunity to apologize for any offence given," said the statement issued by Cannon's office.

"We also understand these comments were made in a difficult context. That is regrettable."

The Algonquins of Barriere Lake allege Lannigan, Cannon's riding office manager, told a member of their community, Norman Matchewan, that Cannon would meet with them "if you behave and are sober," and went on to make remarks about incest on the reserve, which is about 300 kilometres northwest of Ottawa.

Who knew that two entirely different people could be such astonishingly similar racist mouthbreathers?

Harun Yahya blows dead bears.


Apparently, that will get me banned in Turkey. I almost care.

AS I UNDERSTAND IT, Turkey is still trying very hard to become a full member in the European union. The response to that should be for Europe to tell them to piss off and come back when they're ready to join civilized society.

But that's just my opinion.

God must love idiots ...


... since he made so many of them.

Um ... exaggerate much?


Shorter Blogging Tory "Hunter" : "If it weren't for my infantile talent for grotesque and hilarious over-generalization of liberals, I really wouldn't have much to write about."

In unrelated news, all Blogging Tories think the murder of millions of dead Jews is knee-slappingly funny. After all, I read a blog post once somewhere.

Well, that's a relief.


There might be hope for Patsy Ross after all:


Yes, let's talk about "capitalism," shall we?


The next pompous right-wing dipshit who presumes to lecture me on accountability, personal responsibility and fiscal conservatism is going to get such a wedgie.

OK, this is just creepy, and more than a little frightening.


This is the man who's going to have his finger on the button? Seriously?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Theatre in the Wild


For those of you fortunate enough to reside in the Kitchener, Waterloo, Guelph, Cambridge area, Unhinged launches its premiere season this Thursday evening, September 18. Unhinged is a festival of site specific theatre, meaning that the plays and performances take place in non-theatre settings. For instance, "Quantum Entanglement" is performed at the Art Bar in Kitchener's Centre in the Square, while "Copy Protection" is performed in the changing room for the skating rink at Kitchener's City Hall. There are six strikingly different plays, in six unique settings. Drawing on the superb talent that this region fosters, there's something here for every taste, from the joyous celebration of family offered as a stellar one woman show by Stratford Festival performer Ashley Burton in "Nonna's Party" to the adult only mayhem of "Copy Protection". I encourage you to take in one or more of the performances and discover untamed art in the urban jungle.

More information about tickets schedules and locations can be found here: Un-hinged.ca

Oh my ...


Just when you think Big Daddy's merry band of in-and-out mouthbreathers have finally hit rock bottom, they promptly begin to dig (emphasis all mine).

Agriculture Minister Gerry Ritz unnerved some public servants at the height of the listeriosis crisis by resorting to gallows humour during a conference call about a public health scare that has now killed 17 people.

Ritz was also deeply concerned about the political fallout from the listeriosis crisis as the deadly disease claimed more victims in the days before the federal election was called, according to sources in on the crisis call last month.

But that concern apparently didn't stop Ritz from cracking wise while scientists, bureaucrats and political staff listened in on the Aug. 30th call. Sources who took notes during the call said Ritz fretted about the political dangers of the crisis, before quipping:

"This is like a death by a thousand cuts. Or should I say cold cuts."

The disease was linked to cold cuts from Maple Leaf Meats.

And when told about a new death in Prince Edward Island, Ritz said:

"Please tell me it's (Liberal MP) Wayne Easter."

Easter is the Liberal critic shadowing Ritz's Agriculture Department.

About 30 people participated in the Sunday morning conference call that began after 10 a.m. EDT. Participants included scientists, senior bureaucrats and political staff.

I wonder why I keep picturing Nero fiddling?

Hmmmmmmm ... I wonder what the Blogging Tories, those staunch defenders of civility, reasoned discourse, Mom and apple pie, have to say about Ritz's truly tasteless jokes.

Never mind.

Big Daddy’s Canada.


Go. Read.

I need a fucking drink ...

Sorry ... come again?


Canada's little fascist Il Douche is tired of this "minority government" thingy:

"In a time of economic uncertainty, I do think the country needs a strong government that's able to govern," the prime minister told a group of reporters from ethnic newspaper and broadcast outlets Tuesday.

And nothing says "strong government that's able to govern" like whining that you're incapable of governing, then resigning from the position. Now that's some kick-ass leadership, wouldn't you say?

Shorter Stephen Harper: "Voters should give me a majority because I just don't play well with others."

Now there's a compelling argument.

Does everyone have their new talking points?


Shorter Big Daddy and his merry band of in-and-out fuckwits: Fine -- we admit it. We used national ads for local candidates and completely overspent the defined campaign spending cap. But it was legal because we say it was. So there.

[CC here]: "Your Honour, my client is innocent of the charge of murder, he wasn't even there! But if he was there, he didn't do it. And if he did it, it was an accident. Besides, that son-of-a-bitch had it coming to him!"

Isn't it sad when life imitates art?

Just when you swear they can't get any dumber ...


[This post was moved up here just because it was so delightfully happy-making. Enjoy.]

What is wrong with this picture? Take your time ... it'll come to you.

BY THE WAY, if that stupidity strikes you as vaguely familiar, well, it should.

Hermetically sealed for his protection.


Blogging Tory "Luke" gets amusingly shrieky:

How I'd like to be a fly on the wall of the Obama campaign bus right now. This is devastating.

For God's sake, no one tell Luke about Sarah Palin making rape victims pay for the processing of their rape kits. The cognitive dissonance might be frightening.

Schadenfreude, baby!


It's all about the schadenfreude.

Dear whingers:


Yes, by all means, tell me all about the evils of welfare. And throw in some smug, sanctimonious posturing about accountability, personal responsibility and fiscal conservatism while you're at it.

Really, I can hardly wait.

YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS: Only six days ago (emphasis tail-waggingly added):

Settlement reached in AIG shareholder lawsuit

WILMINGTON, Del. (AP) - Attorneys for a Louisiana pension fund reached a $115 million settlement Thursday in a shareholder lawsuit against former executives of insurance giant American International Group Inc.

No, not that part ... this part:

Attorneys for the plaintiffs said the settlement includes a $29.5 million payment from Greenberg and three other individual defendants, with the remaining $85.5 million covered by liability insurance.

But Lee Wolosky, an attorney representing Greenberg and Starr, said Greenberg himself will not make any payments in connection with the settlement. Wolosky said Starr expects to contribute between $20 million and $30 million, which he noted is a small fraction of the $1 billion to $2 billion in damages sought by the plaintiffs.

"The compensation and agency arrangements Mr. Greenberg presided over while at AIG were not only proper, but contributed to AIG's growth into the largest and most successful insurance company in the world," Wolosky said.

I know it shouldn't be funny. But it is.

Dead woman walking.


"Talking points? What talking points?"

Let me save you all buckets of time.


Blogging Tory "Canadian Cincinnatus" wastes no time reading obediently from the tele-prompter:

The Conservatives stand for small government, individual responsibility and patriotism; ...

And that's where I stopped reading. Seriously. Sometimes, parody just outdoes itself:


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Speaking of Jews ...


At the risk of being downright inflammatory, this is just plain funny. We now return you to your regular program of hilariously faux outrage.

Your daily Blogging Tory crime report.


Hmmmmmm ... I wonder if any black people were shot to death in Toronto lately. Ah, there we go.

Tune in tomorrow when Neo keeps us posted on more dead black people.

CBC NEWS FLASH!! You read it here first (posted at 6:33 PM):

Student in critical condition after shooting at Toronto high school

A 17-year-old student is in critical condition in hospital after he was shot outside a Toronto high school...

Police are looking for one suspect described as "a male, black, 18 to 19 years old, approximately five-foot-eight, and ... last seen going [through] Donwood Park onto Norbury Crescent," according to Const. Wendy Drummond.

And now, the waiting begins ...

O. M. F. G.


Feel free to invent your own punchline. As a resident of Waterloo -- home of RIM and the Blackberry -- I find this falsehood particularly stomach-churning.

P.S. This is, of course, in no way like Al Gore "claiming" to have invented the Internet. Not at all. Because it isn't. So shut up. Really, just fucking shut up.

P.P.S. How much more pathetic is this going to get?

"Under my guiding hand, Congress developed a wireless spectrum policy that spurred the rapid rise of mobile phones and Wi-Fi technology that enables Americans to surf the web while sitting at a coffee shop, airport lounge, or public park."

What possible response can there be to this deranged madness?

AFTERSNERK: I have to believe that at least some of Canada's MSM is going to have some fun with this. If you spot a related news piece, let us know.

AND they're off.

Fire. Them. All.


Seriously.

On Titles and Terms

I have to take issue with this notorious post and some of the reaction that has erupted over at Doc Dawg's place. First off, the title of CC's post is unfortunate and wrong. Steve Harper is a happily bought fella (and he's still for sale) but he wasn't bought by the "Jews" per se. He cashes his ideological checks from the extreme right wing faction of the hyper-partisan zealots who hide behind the pro-Israel banner. Certainly some of those folk are Jewish and wear their religion like inviolable armour. The simple fact is that most Jewish people and Israeli citizens do not support or condone the positions held by groups like the Jewish Defence League. Nor do they support the actions of the Israeli government in the West Bank and Gaza. In an interesting twist, many of our conservative pals also balk at the positions held by more liberal factions of the Israel lobby. The Canadian Jewish Congress stands four-square behind the dreaded Human Rights Commissions, bane of hate spewing Con bloggers.

There is a long standing right wing alliance with certain elements within the so-called pro Israel lobby, characterized by a motley gang of evangelicals, arms merchants and political opportunists (hi Steve). It is unfortunate that the more extreme sorts have co-opted the notion of Zionism and twisted it to their own bitter ends. As was readily shown in Dawg's comments here, there is no criticism of Israeli policy allowed and the "measured response" gang will play the anti-semitism card first and always because, as far as they are concerned, it is always trump. It is by their own hands that Zionist radical elements and their far right enablers have linked Judaism with the political. That is a gross disservice to the people of Israel and Jews the world over. It also makes it doubly difficult to make honest criticism of Israeli policy and practice.

That said, CC's post title steps across a line in my opinion. I know for a fact that CC is not an anti-semite, I have broken bread with him and we have spoken at length on political topics including this. The title of his post mischaracterizes the issue at hand. So I am asking that CC amend the post and issue a mea culpa. I think we need to be a little more temperate when it comes to casting wide nets in our criticisms. As for the laughable calls for Dr.Dawg to strike us from his rolls, that will be up to his own conscience. I will note for the record that it is comic at best to be getting a lesson in civility from a whining goober like Jay Currie whose own blog roll features such stellar bigots as Five Feet of Venom. I suppose when it comes to actual hatred it has to be the right flavour.

Dear Blogging Tories:


How's that misty-eyed John McCain worship going? Oh, shit. Eh, no matter ... it's not like you folks ever much cared for honesty, anyway.

So, how's that Republican fiscal management going?


Uh oh ...

The colour of the sky on one's home planet.


Shorter Blogging Tory Hunter: "It's outrageous -- a political leader demanding unswerving, lockstep obedience. What? Why are you laughing?"

More Blogging Tory Hunter: "It's outrageous -- a political leader demanding unswerving, lockstep obedience. What? Why are you laughing?"

Shorter Blogging Tory Hunter: "As a Blogging Tory, I am all about the nanny state!"

I could go on ...

Hypocrisy? Never heard of it. Why do you ask?


In which members of the mewling, whiny Canadian pants-piss-o-sphere don't have the grapes to show up here and chat, so they go running off to the unfortunate Dr. Dawg, who is by now wondering why the fuck people think he's going to anything about it, but the good doctor gives them a quick paddling and sends them on their way.

On the other hand, these snivelling crybabies are apparently the only people brave and stalwart enough to protect us from the unspeakable terror that is the swarthy Islamijihadifarian menace. Go figure.

No, really, go figure. 'Cuz I can't.

P.S. Who the fuck is Jay Currie, anyway? And why does he make even Patrick Ross look like an intellectual?

Monday, September 15, 2008

The things I do for you people.


Apparently, there is a dump truck full of something clogging up the Intertoobz, so I'm supposed to point you all here. Let me know how that works out.

Are you fucking kidding me?


For obvious reasons, the word "pathetic" leaps to mind.

P.S. It's not like I've been singled out -- those people are being total fucking douchebags across the board.

Hoist. Petard. I'm sure you can figure out the rest.


It seems like only yesterday that Canada's Most Awesomest, Amazingest Blogger Kate McMillan was getting downright moist over those fantabulous Fox News TV ratings.

Then again, the better FNC's ratings, the more people get to see this kind of vicious, crippling beatdown. I'm guessing that's not exactly what Kate had in mind. Call it a bonus.

That right-wing, fiscal conservatism.


Why, yes, why don't you tell me the fuck all about it? Pay attention, Canada ... you're looking into a Stephen Harper future.

P.S. I'm sure the numerous Americans who have been wiped out financially due to medical emergencies or natural disasters will appreciate this bit:

The Federal Reserve also chipped in with more largesse in its emergency lending program for investment banks.

Because nothing says "worthy of a taxpayer-funded bailout" like an investment bank.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

New & Improved!

ALL_CAPS BARBIE



Now with 100% less filthy, sinful genitalia. Approved by Pope Ratzenfucker!

(Only available in blonde!)

The Stephen Harper Party Office Of Eugenics Presents...

... the prototype for the Blogging Tories of the feeyootcher!

Please Donate...



So we can get cable!

I Can Haz Krizma?

Vote Christopher Walken

Neighbours Need To Know...



who to blame.

NDP Reaches Out To Teh Interwebs



Context, what context?

Sunday Funnies.


It’s the Young Blogging Tories Science fair, boys and girls — a veritable who’s who of the Right’s soon-to-be elite thinkers. Doesn't it just bring a tear to your eye?







H/T to someone kind of fabulous for the email.

Thanks for playing anyway, Damian.


Blogging Tory and Open Bathrobe Media member Damian Penny goes all Boy Detective Steve Janke on us:

Fact-checking McCain-Palin

Politifact says McCain is stretching the truth about Palin and the "Bridge to Nowhere" ("Palin didn't kill it, she just performed the last rites.") ...

"Stretching the truth," are those the weasel words the kids are using these days, Damian? CBS puts it another way:

(CBS) Its one of those claims that gets so much applause.

"I told Congress 'thanks but no thanks,' to that bridge to nowhere," Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has said over and over on the campaign trail, CBS News correspondent Wyatt Andrews reports.

Palin just won't let it go. But the truth is the governor never rebuffed Congress. Here are the facts.

After a year of supporting the proposed bridge, near Ketchikan, Palin pulled state funds from the project, which killed the bridge for good, but she never said "no thanks" to the Federal funds promised by Congress - $233 million. ...

By repeating the claim she said no thanks to the bridge, the implication is that she confronted a spendthrift Congress recklessly wasting money.

The record shows she wanted that bridge until the end and kept the money.

So thanks for coming, Damian but, if you don't mind, we grownups can handle it from here.

Godwin's Law, in one easy step.


Shorter Blogging Tory "Prairie Tory": "Comparing lefties to Hitler? Yeah, that is some funny shit. No, really, check this out."

LuLu here. Looks like Prairie Tory has earned his BT stripes and disappeared his post. Sadly, this is all that remains of what was, no doubt, something brilliant. No, really.


Thanks to Sassy in the comments.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


Oh, for fuck's sake! Didn't really think that one through, did we, Stephen?

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Nice job you got there, Craig ...


... be a shame if anything happened to it.

Holy tap dancing Jesus.


Remember boys and girls, the Left can never, ever, NEVER be taken seriously because we *gasp* swear. The Right, however, is a bastion of civility and reasoned, intellectual discourse populated by people with "family values". Just like these mouthbreathing racists gentlemen, for example.

You only wish I was kidding. I need a fucking martini as big as my head ...

Um ... ewwwwwwww?


As God is my witness, I have no idea where to go with this.

Seriously.

Why, yes, I'd love to talk about civility, tolerance and open-mindedness.


Where would you like to start?

Ah, the "L" word again.


As the mainstream media slowly but inexorably wakens from its slumber ...

When even the Americans can figure it out ...


Slate's Christopher Flavelle asks a depressing question:

What's the Matter With Canada?

How the world's nicest country turned mean.

And stupid, Christopher. Really, really goddamned stupid. Don't forget that part.

Democracy in action.


Vote early, vote often. Yes, now. When did you think I meant?

Just when you think life can't get any weirder ...


... I get a stern talking-to for a lack of civility by Kathy Shaidle. Wrap your head around that if you can.

P.S. I am sorely puzzled by this obsession on the part of Canada's batshit crazy demographic to take screenshots of my blog pages. Let me explain this one more time (typing slowly all the way) -- unlike Canada's wankers, we here at CC HQ do not delete our postings. Ever. If we screw up, we do what the grown-ups do -- we apologize, retract and correct the record. But I'll understand if some of you are unclear on the concept.

It’s different when I do it.


Further to CC’s post below about the shrieky bullshit from guest blogger CJunk at Canada’s Most Bestest Super-Duperest Blog Evah!!1!!11!!111!™, Joanne at Blue Like You once again proves that there’s no one quite so divorced from reality as a Blogging Tory.

Let me shorter it for you: While this post may purportedly be about the whole Elizabeth May "did she or didn’t she" dust-up, allow me to take a gratuitous mouthbreathing swipe at Stephane Dion and his "hearing problem" because nothing says "civil" like making fun of someone else’s physical disability.

I can't see a difference. Can you see a difference?

Saturday Morning Cartoons.


I now pronounce you Devil and Devilish.



Hmmmmmmm ... coffee. Did you know that Brazil is the largest coffee exporting nation in the world? No one tell Juan Valdez — he'll be sooooo pissed. And, for your big fat information, there’s nothing but Fair Trade coffee in this girl’s house.

So there.

You keep using that word "humanitarian" ...


So, Stephen, how's that whole B'nai B'rith Humanitarian award working out?

Frank Dimant, executive vice president of B'nai B'rith Canada, who nominated the prime minister for this distinguished award, stated: "Prime Minister Stephen Harper's unwavering commitment to principle on such matters as the safety and security of the Jewish people and the fight against global terror make him most deserving of this award. Prime Minister Harper continues to be a beacon of inspiration not only for Canadians but for peoples all over the world who value democracy and freedom."

Yeahhhh, you might want to rethink that whole commitment to principle and freedom thing, if you catch my drift.

In which Stephen Taylor murders his parents, then throws himself on the mercy of the court for being an orphan.


In what is a stunning new standard for douchebaggery and hypocritical victimhood, Blogging Tory co-founder Stephen Taylor produces and promotes a video snippet in which he (erroneously) accuses Elizabeth May of calling Canadians "stupid," and when it comes out that that's not what she was saying at all, Taylor is the first one in line to demand an apology.

You can't make this stuff up. Seriously.

The L-Word. No, not that one.


It's curious how, in the span of just a few days, numerous folks have finally had enough of the pathological dishonesty of both John McCain and his douchebag of a running mate Sarah Palin, and started to drop the "L" word into their accusations. There was the earlier video, in which a Democratic stragetist accused McCain of flat-out being a "liar" several times -- and with good reason, because he is.

Then there's the New York Times' Paul Krugman:

Blizzard of Lies

Did you hear about how Barack Obama wants to have sex education in kindergarten, and called Sarah Palin a pig? Did you hear about how Ms. Palin told Congress, “Thanks, but no thanks” when it wanted to buy Alaska a Bridge to Nowhere?

These stories have two things in common: they’re all claims recently made by the McCain campaign — and they’re all out-and-out lies.

Dishonesty is nothing new in politics. I spent much of 2000 — my first year at The Times — trying to alert readers to the blatant dishonesty of the Bush campaign’s claims about taxes, spending and Social Security.

But I can’t think of any precedent, at least in America, for the blizzard of lies since the Republican convention. The Bush campaign’s lies in 2000 were artful — you needed some grasp of arithmetic to realize that you were being conned. This year, however, the McCain campaign keeps making assertions that anyone with an Internet connection can disprove in a minute, and repeating these assertions over and over again.

It's delightful reading, check it out. And lest you think all the criticism is purely partisan, apparently even members of McCain's own party are a mite taken aback by his chronic dissembling (emphasis added):

McCain Barbs Stirring Outcry as Distortions

Harsh advertisements and negative attacks are a staple of presidential campaigns, but Senator John McCain has drawn an avalanche of criticism this week from Democrats, independent groups and even some Republicans for regularly stretching the truth in attacking Senator Barack Obama’s record and positions.

Mr. Obama has also been accused of distortions, but this week Mr. McCain has found himself under particularly heavy fire for a pair of headline-grabbing attacks. First the McCain campaign twisted Mr. Obama’s words to suggest that he had compared Gov. Sarah Palin, the Republican vice-presidential nominee, to a pig after Mr. Obama said, in questioning Mr. McCain’s claim to be the change agent in the race, “You can put lipstick on a pig; it’s still a pig.” (Mr. McCain once used the same expression to describe Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton’s health plan.)

Then he falsely claimed that Mr. Obama supported “comprehensive sex education” for kindergartners (he supported teaching them to be alert for inappropriate advances from adults).

Those attacks followed weeks in which Mr. McCain repeatedly, and incorrectly, asserted that Mr. Obama would raise taxes on the middle class, even though analysts say he would cut taxes on the middle class more than Mr. McCain would, and misrepresented Mr. Obama’s positions on energy and health care...

“The last month, for sure,” said Don Sipple, a Republican advertising strategist, “I think the predominance of liberty taken with truth and the facts has been more McCain than Obama.”

That McCain and Palin are horrific liars is well-established, but it's nice to see the "L" word finally becoming acceptable. One wonders when Canada's MSM is finally going to take the gloves off and do the same thing with Harper.

P.S. Oh, and Palin is really fucking stupid, too. It's no wonder so many of Canada's Blogging Tories are in love with Palin -- they're intellectual soul mates.

AFTERSNERK: Over at TPM, Todd Gitlin has a delightful piece on the pre-programmed vacuity that is the Palin-bot.

MORE WINGNUTTY GOODNESS: Dave does a bunch of the heavy lifting, so follow the links and enjoy. Sarah Palin is such an obvious idiot, which would certainly explain the unabashed adoration here, wouldn't it?

Friday, September 12, 2008

Dear Opposition: Here's how it's done.


How to kick the shit out of a weaselly, lying whinger:


That’s just fucking spectacular.


If, you know, by spectacular I really mean mouthbreathingly misogynistic.

But remember, boys and girls — according to Barbara Kay, Sarah Palin is a REAL WOMAN, not some ball-busting, man-hating feminazi.

No, really.

Going full-metal irony.


In which folks who have made an entire blogging career happily hob-nobbing with racists, homophobes, white supremacists, religious lunatics, pathological liars, fetus fetishists, Nazi sympathizers, scientific illiterates, misogynists and child rape aficionados presume to tell the good Dr. Dawg how to run his blog.

What? For that, you need a punchline?

Dear John:


After a good chunk of the Canadian progressive blogosphere went to bat for Elizabeth May to get her into the upcoming debates, this is not quite the way they expected to be thanked for their efforts.

Oh, and John? Fuck you.



AFTERMATH: There is an allegation that the audio in that clip was altered, and that Elizabeth May was quoted wildly out of context. If that's the case, then the Greens might want to take that up with Blogging Tory co-founder Stephen Taylor, who explicitly claims authorship. And yet, curiously, no one seems to be hassling Stephen about it. Isn't that odd?

P.S. Given how strenuously Elizabeth May has been arguing for her right to be heard, she really doesn't have the moral standing to now bitch about, you know, being heard. If you catch my drift.

OK, THEN, the consensus seems to be that May was badly misrepresented, and all that was necessary was for someone from the Greens to politely point that out, and all this unpleasantness could have been avoided. Yes, there will be a followup shortly correcting the record.

And, yes, John Bennett is an asshat. And a douchebag. That, too.

BY THE WAY, once Noni Mausa posts her analysis of this fake brouhaha, are we allowed to ask if Blogging Tory co-founder Stephen Taylor -- the source of all this outrage -- will post a heartfelt and unambiguous apology and retraction?

Yeah, and pigs will wear lipstick.

GO. Listen.

John Manley, where have you gone?


Once upon a time, there was a report. And Stephen the Corpulent looked upon the report that had been prepared for him by John the Obedient, and he saw that it was good. Curiously, though, the report that was good suggested some very odd things, such as (emphasis ever so tail-waggingly added):

The Canadian combat mission should conclude when the Afghan National Army is ready to provide security in Kandahar province. Progress to that end will accelerate as training of the ANA intensifies; and without doubt, more military resources from other ISAF countries must be forthcoming. Ending Canada's military contribution in Kandahar is therefore not a matter of setting artificial deadlines in time. It is a matter of making real progress in the context of events on the ground.

And Stephen the Corpulent thanked John the Obedient profusely, and handed him a honking big sack of cash for all his work, then promptly turned around and fucked him over good.

Fortunately, John the Obedient really doesn't give a rat's ass anymore since he did his job and he has his honking big sack of cash, and they all lived happily ever after. Well, except for the Canadian soldiers who are killed in Afghanistan between the old withdrawal date of February 2009 and that new withdrawal date in 2011, because they really will have died for sweet fuck all.

And Stephen the Corpulent is fine with that. Just ask him.

Dear Kateland: Over-generalize much?


Shorter Kateland: "I will now take an article by CC, in which he carefully references a recent and specific event, and hilariously juxtaposes that with another recent and specific event, and generalize wildly to encompass centuries of horrific, global anti-Semitism, because it's the only way I'll get an anguished, pearl-clutching, panty-twisting blog post out of this."

Good girl, Kateland ... you have served your masters well. Have a biscuit.

Jesus Freakin' Christ, the horror!


Via JJ, we learn that Sarah Palin is one of the stupidest human beings on the planet.



This would explain her popularity among the stupidest human beings in Canada. They truly deserve each other, don't they?

OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! This woman's ignorance is truly boundless.

Is it a coincidence, or does Edmonton simply attract idiots?


Blogging Tory and Edmonton resident "Hunter" furnishes the hilarity of the day:

"McCain would never use soldiers for political gain. He has honored them, but he will not use them."

Yes, dear ... whatever you say. Now how about you put that cold compress back on your forehead and go lie down again? There's a good girl.

BONUS DUMBFUCKERY: In a spasm of mind melting retardedness, Hunter continues:

[Lefties] think they are the only ones who understand what we need, not as individuals, but as some sort of "collective" society. They can't stand Conservatives because we don't band together for the "common cause". We don't protest, ...

No, Hunter, of course you don't. All that pants-pissing shrieking and pearl clutching we've been listening to for the last several weeks ... a figment of our collective imaginations, is that it?

Just when you think no one could be more of an idiot than the mudfortunate dr. roy ...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

I'm sorry ... come again?


Gosh, it seems like only yesterday that setting a fixed deadline for an overseas military withdrawal was a really, really, really bad idea:

President Bush Rejects Artificial Deadline, Vetoes Iraq War Supplemental

... Here is why the bill Congress passed is unacceptable. First, the bill would mandate a rigid and artificial deadline for American troops to begin withdrawing from Iraq. That withdrawal could start as early as July 1st. And it would have to start no later than October 1st, regardless of the situation on the ground.

It makes no sense to tell the enemy when you plan to start withdrawing. All the terrorists would have to do is mark their calendars and gather their strength -- and begin plotting how to overthrow the government and take control of the country of Iraq. I believe setting a deadline for withdrawal would demoralize the Iraqi people, would encourage killers across the broader Middle East, and send a signal that America will not keep its commitments. Setting a deadline for withdrawal is setting a date for failure -- and that would be irresponsible.

On the other hand:

On Thursday, before Sparrow was suspended, Harper said a set pullout date for Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan was necessary to ensure the success of the mission.

Harper, speaking in Montreal, said that without a deadline "the mission will go on forever and we will not be successful."

I'm confused.

Oh la la …


Apparently the parents of dead soldiers are once again fair game.

The Conservatives have suspended their communications director over comments about a dead soldier's father - the latest gaffe in the first week of the Harper election campaign. Ryan Sparrow was disciplined for implying that criticism of Prime Minister Stephen Harper by Jim Davis was politically motivated.

Davis, who lost a son in Afghanistan, complained Thursday that Harper's surprise decision to completely end the Afghan mission in 2011 was "irresponsible." He said he son will have died in vain if Canada pulls its troops out of the country before the mission is complete.

In an email to a reporter, Sparrow noted that Davis was a supporter of deputy Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff. The inference was that Davis was complaining because he was a Liberal.

Harper spokesman Kory Teneycke said Sparrow has been suspended and ordered to apologize to Davis. "Obviously, that's not appropriate. And he will be contacting the father directly to apologize and is being suspended immediately from the campaign, (for) the duration of the campaign."

Well of course Mr. Davis must be a Liberal supporter. Everyone who’s anyone knows that a good little Reform-Alliance-Tory (RAT) true believer supporter would be more than happy to swallow Big Daddy’s Kool-aid and immediately ask for more.

In other words, IOKIYARAT.

An excellent investment, Jewily speaking.


It's nice to know that when you buy Stephen Harper, he stays bought. As Roger Waters once sang, "Every man has his price, Bob, and yours was pretty low."

Dear Americans:


Yes, some of us really are that stupid. Why do you ask?

AFTERSNERK: I dearly love Babs' opening salvo:

How I wish I’d been the proverbial fly on the wall watching the changing expressions on Barack Obama’s face as Sarah Palin delivered her already-legendary speech at the Republican convention last Wednesday.

Yes, Babs ... "her" (as in Sarah Palin's) speech. The one carefully crafted by John McCain's handlers, and placed gently but firmly in Palin's hands, with careful instructions that those were the precise words that were to come out of her mouth.

Palin really is the perfect whinger woman -- she's told what to do, and she does it. Does life get any better (or more conservative) than that?

Lies, and the swinish, lipstick-encrusted lying liars who tell them.




If the lipstick fits the pig ...

Gosh, Sara, you say "nanny state" like it's a good thing.


Curiously, Blogging Tory "Choice for Childcare" Sara is all about government intervention to help out the less fortunate:

The mother of an eastern Ontario girl who recovered from childhood cancer is lobbying the government to provide paid compassionate care leave to other parents whose children are very sick.

Sharon Ruth wants the issue to get some attention during the campaign for the Oct. 14 election.

I'm sorry, Sara ... when exactly did it become a Blogging Tory thing to suggest that government step in with a handful of my cash to help other parents raise their kids? Whatever happened to independence? And gritty self-reliance? And dissing government handouts? And relentlessly castigating the evil "nanny state?"

I'm thinking the good Sara and her evil twin might want to sit down for a chat. It appears they have some issues to work through.

Dear Blogging Tories:


How's that responsible, transparent and accountable fiscal conservatism working out for you and the rest of the slavishly obedient Harper-bots? Uh oh ... not so well, I see.

Sorry, Ardvark, what was that you were pissing and mewling about again? Oh, right. Yeah, I'll bet Ardvark is wanting that one back right about now.

P.S. I particularly like this part of the article:

The Conservative party is pointing out, however, that none of the spending was new.

A spokesman says the announcements that took place during the time period cited by the federation were based on the 2008 budget and approved by Parliament.

He cited an $80-million repayable loan to Ford announced Sept. 3, which aims to create 757 jobs in Windsor, Ont., noting the money came out of the existing $250-million Auto Innovation Fund.

He said a $27-million repayable loan to Heroux Devtek in Longueuil, Que., for research and development came out of the Strategic Aerospace and Defence Initiative, was created last year.

"This is not new spending over and above the funds approved by Parliament in Budget 2008," the spokesman said.

In other words, "Here's a fucking shitload of money to buy your votes. But if you think we're being grossly irresponsible in tossing all this cash around, it's only because those promises don't mean anything and we're really trying to buy your votes with money we've already given you. And that makes it all right."

Just when you think you've reached the bottom of the CPoC sleaze barrel, someone comes along and lifts up the barrel.

I'm just curious ...


... what is the point of "speaking" in tongues if God is the only one who could understand it? Wouldn't thinking in tongues be sufficient?

You keep using that word "capitalism" ...


... I do not think it means what you think it means.

Once again, criminally inept and incompetent executives get the gold mine, and the taxpayers get the shaft. It just seems to work that way, doesn't it?

When Conservatives embarrass themselves.


It is entertaining when the Stephen Harper Party of Childish Whiners and Mean-Spirited, Vindictive Turds gets caught with its genitals laying out there on the anvil. From Macleans, we learn a bit more about their official CPoC attack website "Not a Leader":

BTC: Now, it’s personal

By Aaron Wherry | Email | September 9th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Posted to: Capital Read, The Commons | 53 | Comment on post
Filed Under: Capital Read • The Commons
Tags: Election Watch


Also mocked on the new Conservative website: Paul, Kady and Coyne.

Hmmm ... let's visit those links in turn and see what the Conservative Party of Canada thinks of Paul Wells:


How odd ... after all, it's 3:17 a.m. right now, so you'd think bandwidth wouldn't be a problem. What about Kady O'Malley? Uh oh ...


Damn. And Andrew Coyne? Quelle surprise:


But, curiously, if you go to the site's main page ... well, how about that? (Warning: Stupid, fucking narration comes up automatically.)

So bandwidth doesn't seem to be an issue when visiting that site directly, only when you attempt to visit particular pages. How convenient -- a whole new approach to dealing with embarrassing web pages: You don't apologize or retract, the pages simply become perpetually "unavailable" due to exceeding bandwidth limits, even at 3:17 a.m. And, amusingly, other pages on that site seem to have no trouble loading at all.

It's a neat trick if you can get away with it. And, sadly, it appears that the CPoC is doing just that.

P.S. Feel free to check in on that site on occasion, note any new embarrassments, then we'll see how long it takes for that page to suddenly become "unavailable," bandwidth-wise.

P.P.S. By the way, does anyone else see the irony in a political party that has no problem making billions of dollars in pre-election promises, yet not being able to afford adequate bandwidth for one of their official websites?

Yeah, it's a bandwidth problem. That's their story, and they're sticking to it.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Today’s heaping helping of wingnutty goodness.


The lipsticked pitbull is trying to tone down her bible-thumping whacko past and this girl is calling bullshit.

For more than two decades, vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin was a practicing Pentecostal. She belonged to the Wasilla Assembly of God church in her hometown of Wasilla, Alaska. But though she attended the church from her teenage years to 2002, the Alaska governor hasn't talked much about her religion since joining the Republican ticket.

Palin's former pastor, Tim McGraw, says that like many Pentecostal churches, some members speak in tongues, although he says he's never seen Palin do so. Church member Caroline Spangler told CNN, "When the spirit comes on you, you utter things that nobody else can understand ... only God can understand what is coming out of our mouths." Some Pentecostals from Assembly of God also believe in "faith healing" and the "end times" -- a violent upheaval that they believe will deliver Jesus Christ's second coming.

You read that right, boys and girls, Sarah Palin may not have the first clue about economics or foreign policy but that’s not an issue when it comes to being the Republican Vice-Presidential candidate. The important thing to note is that she comes to the office Rapture-ready and just the tiniest bit fuzzy on that ninth commandment which specifically states "Thou shalt not lie". Details, details ...

McGraw says Palin's Pentecostal roots may be being downplayed for a reason: "I think there may be issues of belief that could be misunderstood or played upon by people that don't know."

I’m curious ... when Pastor McGraw says people that don’t know, could that possibly include people that aren’t, you know, crazy? I’m just sayin’. But worry not, Palin is now a member of a more "mainstream" church.

Palin now attends the Wasilla Bible Church. She was there on August 17, just days before entering the national spotlight. David Brickner, the founder of Jews for Jesus, was a speaker. He told congregants that terrorist attacks on Israel were God's "judgment" of Jews who haven't embraced Christianity. Brickner said, "Judgment is very real and we see it played out on the pages of the newspapers and on the television. When a Palestinian from East Jerusalem took a bulldozer and went plowing through a score of cars, killing numbers of people. Judgment -- you can't miss it."

The McCain campaign says Brickner's comments do not reflect her religious views. Palin's spokeswoman says she is pro-Israel. Pastor Ed Kalnin, the senior pastor of Palin's former Pentecostal church, has also come under fire for his comments. In 2004, he told church members if they voted for John Kerry for president, they wouldn't get into heaven. He told them, "I question your salvation."

The Assembly of God issued a statement online in response, which said Kalnin was "joking" when he suggested "Kerry supporters would go to hell." The statement went on to say: "We do acknowledge in hindsight that it was careless, and we do apologize for that. This statement is not written as a defense, but as a clarification."

Ooopsie.

They write (really fucking stupid) letters.


Blogging Tory "Alberta Ardvark" is totally, like, miffed:

Dear Liberal Party of Canada:

Stop trying to take away all of my hard earned money ...

And in completely unrelated news:

Tories keep spending amid $8.8-billion tally of pre-election largesse

OTTAWA — The Conservative government maintained there's nothing untoward in trumpeting projects on the eve of a federal election, even as it heralded a fresh billion-dollars' worth of taxpayer-funded largesse Friday.

I'm guessing that a world in which facts live in complete isolation from one another must be a very happy place.

Welcome Sleazy Conservatives!

Hmmm. This is interesting. I just had a snoop through the site meter and lo, who might I have found there...



why, none other than the twisted gnomes from conservative.ca (those would be the classy kids that are currently running our government in a haze of sleaze). So I thought I'd just say welcome scum bags and smear artists. But before I got to writing this post, I noticed something else that caught my attention, an advertising concern that had followed the exact same link path as the sleazy Cons.



That would be Vickers & Benson. Big deal, right? Well if one casts an eye back in time, one would note that Vickers & Benson are the very same firm that was at the centre of the Liberals Adscam scandal. Sadly, this is all you find when you click on their web address:



But fear not, there's lots of juicy information available in the report on the forensic audit that is available here on the CBC site. Don't recall that scandal, Adscam slipped your mind since Blogging Toerags Adscam and other Con party drones Adscam haven't been whining about it Adscam in the last, say, fifteen minutes. Here's a taste. look at all those dollars.

Contracts with GOC
15.3.1SPS Contracts
As identified in Schedule 3, between July 8, 1996 and April 1, 1999, Vickers
& Benson entered into ten SPS contracts with PWGSC/APORS/CCSB,
totaling $15,362,215.


Bad Liberals. Naughty, naughty Liberals.

Now one has to wonder whether our pals over at Con central might have decided to employ the services of these notable advertisers, whose GoC contract history is so, um, rich. It would be wrong not to speculate, as they say. And since we're speculating, it would be unfair not to note that Vickers & Benson has recently been acquired by Havas Advertising a European concern out of Paris, France. Just noting that, as the Cons are so very much in love with Europe, France and other such "cosmopolitans". Heh.

I need a word beyond "irony."


From recent CPoC campaign material:

In the next election, the choice Canadians face is clear. They can choose between weak leadership, broken promises, and idleness from the Stephane Dion Liberals or real action and real results from Prime Minister Stephen Harper and the Conservative Government.

And as the man who blustered on and on about giving Canadians the peace of mind of "fixed" election dates before dragging them into an early election, Stephen Harper is just the person to lecture you on broken promises.

No, really.

Blogging Tories Short Takes, Sept 10, 2008.


Shorter Steve Janke: "The fact that it makes no immediate sense is exactly why it's such a compelling argument for me."

Shorter hypocritical oath: "Hey, I can be just as obediently sycophantic and cripplingly deluded as Sandy Crux. Just you watch me!"

Shorter Joan Tintor: "I still need to get laid, big time."

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

The Conservatives' Dirty Campaign

Now that the gloves have come off, we get to see the true class of our Con pals. The Conservative Party of Canada hosts a variety of gutter quality pages devoted to smears and attacks not only on opposition leaders and candidates but stooping to the base level of going after private citizens.

Note if you will
Dionbook a Facebook mock-up that sneers at blogs and bloggers Scott Tribe, The Liberal Bag, A BCer in Toronto, Far and Wide, Morton's Musings, Red Tory, What Do I Know Grit, The Wingnuterer and Jason Cherniak. When Mr Harper made his prophetic surmise that the campaign might be nasty, perhaps he had previewed his own party's efforts, avian feces and all. Granted the political landscape has changed somewhat in the last few years as digital proliferation has allowed more individual citizens a greater voice. But this would be analogous to a politician of days gone by going after a private citizen writing letters to the editor and holding them up to public ridicule. This is unseemly behaviour for a government to put forth. This is unworthy of our elected representatives and a blight on Canada's political landscape. If this is the contempt they have for the citizenry now, what depths will they plumb should they achieve a majority? These sites might seem an attempt to be clever but they clearly point out that the federal government is making a political enemies list and keeping an eye on contrarians both public and private.

There are links to a raft of other Conservative Party of Canada owned and operated smear sites.
Jason Cherniak is also centered out for a full page of personal belittlement. That special honour is bestowed upon him as head of a Liberal blogging aggregator and right beside Cherniak is a page of auto-fellation for The Blogging Tories' Stephen Taylor. Perhaps Jason should roll up his lawyering sleeves and get litigious on someone. After all, petty lawsuits are all the rage now that fat Steve (hey if this is the level of discourse coming from the governing party, why the hell should anyone else extend the olive branch of decorum to these sleaze merchants?) has taken to suing his political opponents to try and shut them up.

I will note for my own interest that there are some links at the bottom of the page. First among their current "Reality Checks"...

Will the Dion Liberals respect the law and court their settlement with Green Shift Inc. as an election expense?

Interesting. Will the Conservative Party of Canada give a fair accounting of the likely millions of 10% fliers that they have been using to conduct a taxpayer funded campaign and declare the cost of the creation, printing and mailing (at full market price of a stamp each) as election expenses? For the record, I will be drafting a formal complaint to Elections Canada concerning the fliers I picked up today, one contains the following text:

Roughly every three minutes, a Canadian has a car stolen. The costs add up fast, and Canadians are picking up the tab of more than $1 billion every year. These are staggering statistics for car owners to swallow. Whether joyriding hoodlums take the car for a thrill-ride or criminal gangs steal it for cash, car theft is an assault on the pocketbooks and peace of mind of innocent Canadians. Previous Liberal governments were soft on crime, standing idle while Canadians picked up the huge cost of car theft. This Conservative Government is taking real action. We have introduced tough new amendments to the Criminal Code that will prevent thugs and gangs from flaunting (sic) the law without penalty. The free ride for car thieves is over.

Now apart from being a misleading attempt to give the impression that previous Liberal governments didn't punish car thieves, it
might pass the smell test of being at least marginally about legislative information. However, this flier was retrieved from the recycling box in the mailroom of my building. I've made a habit of picking up the discarded fliers and sending them back from whence they came. I generally give them a cursory glance, seen one pile of partisan crap, you've seen them all. Right? Not so much. The relatively innocuous flier was one of only three among the twenty I collected that had that particular text. The remaining 85 % of the 10% fliers had the following text:

International car theft rings are becoming increasingly sophisticated, predatory and dangerous. Yet for too many years, previous Liberal governments refused to get tough on these dangerous criminal gangs. Canadians deserve better than that. They deserve tough new laws that will protect their cars and keep insurance costs under control. The Conservative Government is tightening Canada's borders for illegal cars and introducing tough new laws that promise serious jail time for car thieves, smugglers, and organized crime rings. In the next election, the choice Canadians face is clear. They can choose between weak leadership, broken promises, and idleness from the Stephane Dion Liberals or real action and real results from Prime Minister Stephen Harper and the Conservative Government.

Now that my friends, is fucking bullshit. That is blatant, partisan campaigning and it is being paid for by the Canadian taxpayer. The Conservatives are the daddy warbucks party, coffers full to overflowing and yet they still have a pathological need to cheat the system, to cheat the Canadian taxpayer and pull a fast one. Dion's Liberals settled a lawsuit over the name of a proposed policy plank and these scumbags want it claimed as an election expense. Yet these are the same cheating In 'n' Out rats that Elections Canada is investigating, that the ethics committee is investigating and whose headquarters the RCMP had to search to counter stonewalling and obstruction. It takes a mighty big belly full of gall to demand that the Liberals declare a legal settlement as an election expense when they are clearly cheating, abusing privilege and making you and I foot their bill.

I have never seen the like. The Conservative Party of Canada has plunged this nation into the depths of dishonour in governance. I am ashamed to think that these cranks, fools and thieves stand a very good chance of improving their fortunes and are willing to do so using the most tawdry, dirty politicking imaginable. When I complete the draft of my letter to Elections Canada I will post the text and all salient information and I encourage others to keep an eye for similar abuses and cheating. We deserve better than this sort of callow, manipulative and dangerous campaigning from any party. Shame on Mr Harper and the Conservatives, the puffin's isn't the only shit they've been flinging.


All emphasis mine.

Somebody needs a life.


Shorter Blogging Tory Joan Tintor: "I need to get laid, big time."

They write letters.


Yes, they do.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


Your right-wing fiscal conservatism in action. I have no punchlines left for this. Really.