Some serious eJankulatory goodness.

[SOOPER DOOPER UPPITY DATE: Down. In. Flames. More at the end.]

[WHAT A DOUCHEBAG: Despite the fact that it is just after lunch and the Globe smackdown of Janke's douchebaggery has been up all morning, there is still not a hint of a correction or retraction on Janke's part, or even an acknowledgement that a refutation of his slimy dishonesty exists. So, if any of you want to check in on Janke on a regular basis, let's make a note of the first indication on his part that something is seriously amiss with his demented rantings.]

Oh, Lord ... this has such potential for pure Steve Janke-flavoured entertainment. Apparently, the latest proceedings to expose the Cons for the corrupt douchebags that they are took a bizarre turn when ... oh, screw it, let's let Kady O'Malley explain it:

... Poilievre, meanwhile, has gotten over his disappointment, and is in fine form as he accuses the opposition parties of being "hostile" to the very notion of widening the probe to include their financial records. He also claims to have uncovered evidence that the Liberal Party has also conducted a few of those so-called "in and out" transfers between federal and local campaigns - including that of the party's current leader, Stephane Dion!

So what, the Liberals respond. No one said that transferring money was illegal - the question is how it was spent, and whether it was funneled into advertising that would otherwise have been counted against the official limits.

Round and round they go. Meanwhile, all of a sudden, off camera is where the real action is going down.

The few reporters left in the room try to puzzle out the still-warm-from-the-printer handouts provided by the Conservatives; heavy on the clip art, with the disembodied head of Dion at the centre of a confusing series of arrows, it purports to show the flow of money from Dion's coffers to the party, and back again. But it's not clear how, exactly, this differs from normal party transfers, no matter how many times the party's spokespeople try to explain it.

(As it turned out, the heavy lifting, in this case, was done not by party operatives, but by Conservative-friendly blogger Steve Janke, who posted his findings hours before the meeting took place.)

Pause.

Just savour that for a moment if you will: Steve Janke -- a man who has made a blogging career out of being obsessed and just as obsessively wrong about damned near everything (and occasionally getting sued for it) -- is being touted as the basis for the Conservatives' counter-accusations.

Thank you, God. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And what exactly, you might ask, has the eJankulator uncovered on Liberal leader Stephane Dion? Oh, you're going to enjoy this. Just let me skip over all the sordid details to get to the big payoff (pun oh so intended):

So what happened to the $12,200?

That's right: $12,200. All of that sleuthing was in aid of identifying a questionable transfer of $12,200. No, no, stay there, we're not done yet.

See, even without going any further, there are a couple points we can make. First, is it even physically possible for any of Canada's Tories to respond to any accusations whatsoever with anything except, "But ... but ... but ... the Liberals!" Seriously, is this going to be the perpetual defense against any and all wrongdoing? "But someone else might have done it, too!" God Almighty, but the word "pathetic" doesn't even begin to cover this, does it? But wait. There's more.

Even if, for the sake of argument (and this is strictly for the sake of argument) we were to accept Janke's claims (and you'd have to be completely retarded to do that), we're talking about $12,200. As opposed to the amount associated with the CPoC of $1.2 million. So, really, it's a bit of a stretch to justify the one by pointing at the other. But here's the best part.

Over at "A BCer in Toronto," Jeff takes Janke's analysis apart piece by piece. And while I'll admit that I don't have the time to follow Jeff's analysis line by line, I think it's fair to say that he at least makes a case for the Dion transfer being perfectly aboveboard.

Does that mean I buy Jeff's argument? No, it just means I haven't had the time to cross-examine it yet, but that's not what's relevant here. What's relevant here is that Jeff might be right, at which point Steve would be wrong and, oh Lord, the hilarity that would ensue. One can only imagine the fallout if senior members of the Conservative Party of Canada tried to derail a Parliamentary committee meeting looking into allegations of campaign spending violations by the Cons with magically-produced accusations of similar corruption against Stephane Dion courtesy of The Premature eJankulator™ himself.

There may be nothing this year that will top what's about to happen here, so I recommend stocking up on popcorn and beer. Mostly beer. And diapers, because you won't want to miss a minute of this.

I'm thinking of investing in a catheter.

TAIL-WAGGING UPDATENESS: Once again, the eJankulator strokes himself into a climax, only to come up dry once again. Here's the salient bit from the G&M piece, exposing Janke for the irresponsible hack that he is:

Yesterday, the Tories counterattacked with charges that Liberals, including Mr. Dion, also engaged in complicated financial transfers to pay for campaign expenses in the 2004 election.

Mr. Poilievre said the Liberal Party later transferred the same $12,200 sum to Mr. Dion's riding association that was paid for items labelled as non-broadcast advertising.

In fact, Elections Canada filings show that the transfer was one of two that the party made in the same month to pay back $44,719.17 it owed Mr. Dion's riding association - a debt reported publicly six months earlier.

The Liberals noted that their transfers - which campaigns in Quebec used to buy an "election kit" of lawn signs and insurance from the party's Quebec wing - did not allow them to claim a taxpayer-funded rebate, nor were they used to include national campaign expenses in the local tallies.

Dion should sue. Seriously, just sue that libelous dipshit Janke, take everything he owns and make him live in a cardboard box for the rest of his days. Fuck'm. No mercy.