Canadian Cynic

Vote Republican or your kids will be killed

From this article over at Yahoo news:

Education officials in six states were put on notice last month that a computer disc found in Iraq over the summer contained photos, floor plans and other information about schools in their districts, two U.S. government officials said.

The downloaded data the U.S. military found in July — all publicly available on the Internet — included an Education Department report guiding schools on how to prepare and respond to a crisis, one official said Thursday, speaking on condition of anonymity...

When asked about the credibility of this suspiciously timely information in a press gaggle, White House spokesreptile Scott McClellan was clearly close to being overcome with emotion.

"It's horrible," he said, choking back tears, "the thought of the evil terrorists targeting innocent American children, right here on our own streets. But that's not the worst of it."

Continued McClellan, "It was that second disk that was even more upsetting, the one containing names and addresses of all registered Democrats in the bitterly-contested, all-important swing states, along with the names of their children and which schools they attend. And the careful plans those terrorists have of monitoring the polling stations on election day, and recording which Democrats turn out to vote and ... and ... going to their kids' schools and parking across the street in a rented Ryder truck and, Heaven help us, shooting those kids with high-powered rifles! Oh, Lord, the humanity!" At which point, McClellan had to be escorted from the stage, sobbing uncontrollably.

In a related development, Vice-president Dick Cheney, during a stump speech in Ohio, was quoted as saying, "I'm sad to have to tell you about a disturbing development in the war on terror, where this summer we found a computer disk in Iraq that contained photos and floor plans of ... oh, fuck it, vote for us or I'll kill your children, OK?"