Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Sure, I can handle that. Do I get a car?


A job posting from Craigs List, Toronto:

At least 20 years experience in shell scripting
-Strong motorola 68k assembler skills (we're looking to code a TCP/IP stack)
-24+ years Linux experience
-C/C++ programming in a Linux environment (preferably for the X11 environment) - preferably 30+ years experience
-Must be an expert at socket programming (raw, multicast, blocking, non-blocking - must be all four, cannot include synchronous)
-Strong .NET Skills - preferably C++, C#, VB master
-Database: Oracle, PL/SQL, MySQL (from an administration and development view), Must know how to do reports with Crystal Reports, web pages with PHP and ASP.NET
-IP: Ability to partition blocks of IPs for our specific subnets, configuring IGP routing protocols (OSPF, EIGRP), as well as BGP
-IPX: Must be comfortable with routing IPX packets using EIGRP, Tunneling inside GRE
-Netware: Some netware experience needed - 25+ years, CNA certification.
-WAN: MPLS, VPN (MUST have at least 10 years experience with IPSEC, PPTP, L2TP using Cisco, Juniper, Nortel, Routing and Remote Access, SonicWall)
-LAN: At least 15 years setting up switched networks - STRONG understanding of STP and its variants, VTP, VLANS, DSCP, 802.1p, 802.1q, and layer 3 switching/inter-vlan, trunking, etherchannel
-LAN Services: Must be comfortable with the following: DNS server and client issues, FTP, OpenSSH (must know chroot, tunnel config), DHCP (Linux and Windows), CIFS, SAMBA, NFS, Ghost, RIS, RAS, Volume Shadow Copy, RADIUS/TACACS+ (Cisco ACS, Windows IAS), IIS and Apache (perferably the Linux version of IIS)
-Cabling: Must be able to cable and test cables in accordance with EIA/TIA coloring codes
-Email: MUST have Exchange Certification, Administration of Sendmail is a bonus too!
-Project Management: Must have some experience with working on a project as a player or leader. Leaders are expected to have PMBOK certification, as well as 30 years experience
-VOIP: Must have a strong understanding of SIP, Codecs, QoS, traffic shaping - preferably 15 years experience with Asterisk, design and soldering of FXS/FXO modules is a must
-Laptop: Must be a comfortable with laptop repair
-Taxes/Acct: ACCPAC, Quicken, Excel skills are a must (20+ years experience)
-Linux: Strong linux skills. Must have experience modifying kernel and package source code. Experience in security, IPTables, SELinux, Backups, Task scheduling, Users, chroot, tripwire.
-Languages: Must speak English, French (Parisienne, not quebecois), Urdu, Hindi, Mandarin and Russian

-Education: Must have University Degree in Computer Science, preferably masters or doctor. Must be a notable university, such as MIT.
-Vehicle: We're looking for someone with a nice vehicle, preferably something in the 50-60k range. Fully licensed and insured. Must pay over $200 insurance each month.
-Extra Curricular: Must have 20+ years MMA fighting experience

Posted under "Junior Network Administrator".

7 comments:

Zorpheous said...

betcha their offer something like 38k,...

LOL, either it is joke or it was put together by some no-mind HR person,...

Languages: Must speak English, French (Parisienne, not quebecois), Urdu, Hindi, Mandarin and Russian

I don't swearing in those languages counts CC ;-)

CC said...

It's pretty clearly a spoof, Zorph. Then again, based on what I know of HR folks, maybe not.

Anonymous said...

You know, the Boring Tories will be in glee after you post a want ad.....

Just saying...

liberal supporter said...

-24+ years Linux experience.
Linus Torvalds has 18 years since he wrote it, though I suppose it could have been a twinkle in his eye for an additional six years before.

Must have 20+ years MMA fighting experience.
Maybe Tove Torvalds would qualify as six-time Finnish national karate champion?

Cameron Campbell said...

Funny.. but just not funny enough to almost believable.

Here in Dunedin you see job ads sometimes: I amuse myself by counting the number of people who should be hired to do the job...

Mark Richard Francis said...

The joke aside, headhunters often post sprawling job descriptions for non-jobs in order to pad their resource files.

Mike said...

Hey, don't laugh...I worked at a place in 2001 that posted a job requiring 15 years of java experience....

HR folks aren't the brightest bulbs in the sign...