Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Doing the Lisa Raitt shuffle.

4:39 AM ... long enough since the story broke to have given truly stupid people time to write truly stupid things, and early enough in the morning to get the jump on everyone else who wants to point out the same thing. And so, to business.

There's Blogging Tory "ChuckerCanuck," who might strain something patting himself on the back over how clever he is:

This conversation is private. Its not intended as public or official; its a time when two female colleagues who are in a challenging and brutal environment talk and try to enjoy a short breather in a hectic life. Its the kind of moment that every free person needs in order to retain our sanity. Did anyone at the Halifax Chronicle read 1984? Invading privacy is like invading another country - you have to have clear, moral reasons for doing so. And in this case that means the conversation had a tangible impact on government outcomes...

In conclusion, I think we can all agree on one thing: Chuckercanuck had the best title for a blog about these tapes. No competition.

Smugness, self-congratulatory quotient: 8/10. Originality and creativity of content: 1/10. Movin' on.

There's 47-year-old lawyer Rob Harvie, who proves once again that, well, lawyers are idiots as he writes of former Raitt aide Jasmine MacDonnell:

... let me tell you a little bit more about Jasmine MacDonnell. You see, Jasmine is the daughter of Ralston MacDonnell.

Who is Ralston MacDonnell?

Well, let me tell you.

Ralston MacDonnell is Vice-Chairman of the Board of Directors of the ISIS Canada Network of Centers of Excellence. He is President of MacDonnell Group Consulting Ltd., a group of engineering and management consulting companies with a track record of support for leading technology development and fostering economic growth in Canada. In other words, Ralston MacDonnell is connected.

Connected to who?

It goes on. And on and on and, oh, sweet Jesus, Mary, mother of God, tediously wrapped-in-tinfoil fucking on. Literary talent? 2/10. Conspiracy quotient: Positive infinity.

Next up -- a right-wing member of the CAW whose analytical skills extend to about two paragraphs:

Raitt Caught Dissing Health Minister On Tape, Calls Her A Capable Woman

“Isn’t that interesting,” says Ms. MacDonnell. “They’re just so …. I wonder if it’s her staff trying to shield her from it or whether she is just terrified.”

“I think her staff is trying to shield her,” says Ms. Raitt.“Oh, God. She’s such a capable woman,but it’s hard for her to come out of a co-operative government into this rough-and-tumble.She had a question in the House yesterday, or two days ago, that planked. I really hope she never gets anything hot.”

And if I'd described Mr. CAW as, say, "a pretty good worker for a child abuser and serial murderer" and he bitched about it, I could respond, "Hey! I said you were a pretty good worker, dude!" Too much stupid there to merit any more smackdown.

And then there's the eJankulator -- Boy Detective and Krime Kracker Kid Steve Janke, who can get 85 billion skillion bajillion blog posts out of Chinese toothpaste but, meh. Boring. I mean, come on, it's not toothpaste, is it, Steve?

And we'll give the last word to one Ted Betts, who totally schools the swarm of drooling sycophants over at Kate's White Power Bar and Laundromat with some wicked cool snark that one suspects most of those folks are way too stupid to appreciate:

Wow. That Ignatieff sure is brilliant. Harper may have been a chessmaster against Dion's checkers, but Ignatieff must be playing three dimensional Vulcan chess! Imagine the foresight to get a Liberal hired 5 years ago, get the Conservatives to promote her and promote her until she was a Director of Communications for the Minister of Natural Resources, get Garth Turner defeated in favour of Conservative Raitt, get Harper to appoint the rookie MP as a cabinet minister, convince (drug??? hmmmm) the Minister into confiding in you for the better part of a year, AND THEN contrive a shutdown of the Chalk River nuclear facility (which a year ago would have been called a life and death situation but now is just concerning for the Conservatives) just so Raitt will have to go on CTV for an interview.

But it doesn't stop there. No, no. Ignatieff's brilliance doesn't stop there.

He not only managed to convince Raitt that she needed to take her secret briefing binder with sensitive, damning and controversial information to that press interview, he also was able to convince (drugs? hmmmmm) the minister "responsible" not to wonder where her briefing binder happened to be for an entire week. AND ONLY THEN did he unleash phase 1 of his sinister subterfuge and get his mole - the one so well placed that no one even suspected and everyone trusted - to fall on her sword for the good of the Conservative Party so she could go running to the media, er, no... so she could kick start phase 2 of Ignatieff's sinister subterfuge and "forget" a tape in the washroom (yes, that old cliche).

One might have thought that it would have been better to keep such a well planted and well hidden mole... well planted and well hidden, leaking damaging information over time. One might have thought that the Liberals would have had their mole leak all or even a teensy tiny bit of that damning information about Conservative overspending and attempts to hide the overspending from the public earlier than this - like during the election, the "coalition", the budget, the "on probation" campaign, or any other time that would have been more damaging.

But of course those are logical and reasonable thoughts which never fit into tin foil hat conspiracy theories.

If developments get any more deranged, we'll return to this story. Yeah, I guess we'll be returning to this story.

CURIOUSLY, no one from Demented Wanker Central appears to be addressing this delicious quote from Ms. Raitt:

“You know what? Good. Because when we win on this, we get all the credit. I’m ready to roll the dice on this. This is an easy one.

I wonder what Canadians who need medical isotopes and can't get them think of Lisa Raitt's enthusiasm to "roll the dice on this" because it would look good for her career. Someone should ask them.

, lest there be any misunderstanding, Raitt really was prepared to let Canadians die if it would boost her career. Recall that slimy little weasel Gary Lunn from last year:

In January 2008, the Conservative government fired Linda Keen, head of the Canadian Nuclear Safety Commission, because she ordered safety upgrades that would have shut down the Chalk River reactor.

At the time, then-natural resources minister Gary Lunn suggested the decision was a matter of life and death."Had we not acted, people invariably would have died, since medical isotopes for serious cancer procedures were not available, and we could not let that happen," he said.

And yet, there's Lisa Raitt, ready to roll dem bones, even if a few Canadians kick off because of it. There's your story, kids: "Conservative MP lets Canadians die to advance her career." I've even given you the headline.

THE GOOD BITS: There's so much entertainment here, but here's one of my faves from the Chronicle Herald article:

Soon after the Victoria trip, Ms. MacDonnell misplaced the voice recorder containing the recording in the press gallery in Ottawa, and asked The Chronicle Herald to hold it for her until she could collect it. Five months later, she had not picked it up.

After Ms. MacDonnell resigned this week — taking the blame for leaving secret files at CTV’s Ottawa studio — the paper’s editors decided to listen to the device.

Five months. The paper courteously refused to listen to the recording for five months, until the latest idiocy broke, at which point only a spectacularly stupid journalist wouldn't think, "Hmmmmmmmm ...". And in his affidavit, journalist Stephen Maher even testifies to contacting MacDonnell several times, offering to get the device back to her, to no avail.

I don't really see a conspiracy here. I see a monstrously stupid Director of Communications.

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