Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Apparently, (Catholic) girls just wanna have fun.

And the higher-ups are going to be having none of that:

The Halton Catholic School board may be the first in Ontario to ban the HPV vaccine in their schools. The Catholic School Board has been sent a letter by the conference of bishops, encouraging them to remember that HPV occurs only through sex, which is "appropriate only" in marriage.

On the other hand, those fun-loving bishops still heartily endorse the time-tested combination of latex condoms and Astroglide. Astroglide: because who needs girls, anyway?


Phyl said...

And really, it's far, FAR more moral and upright and godly, if our girls do go off the rails at some future point, to make good and sure they DIE for it. At least we've stood up for PRINCIPLES, goddammit. ::preen preen::

Gotta love these people. Not.

Ti-Guy said...

The motion was defeated.

So suck on that, bishops.

Crabgräss said...

They can send a man to the moon, but can't come up with some sort of device that upon sexual contact before marriage will just kill the would-be perpetrators? Is it a lack of funding?

E in MD said...

Ah, I see. So the official position is that if some poor young girl makes a mistake and has sex, gets raped by a priest, is molested by her congressmen or what have you, she should just DIE of cervical cancer. I suppose she had it coming. After all nobody ever catches HPV unwillingly.

Ok, just wanted to make sure.

Crabgräss said...

Exactly. And if it continues to happen anyway, make the penalty even stiffer.

David said...

How was that moment of clarity for you e? Sadly, medical science has no cure for having your head spin off your body in response to this kind of nonsense. Unlike CC, I recommend really cheap whiskey, as the resulting headache will block out rational thought for at least 48 hours.