Saturday, April 30, 2005

Q: "Prove that George Bush is a war criminal."


You know, in all the excitement lately, I plumb forgot to mention that, why, yes, George W. Bush is in fact a war criminal, as you can now safely conclude from the CIA's final report that, no, there don't appear to be any WMDs in Iraq.

Remember, once upon a time, when the Bush administration's rationale for invasion was that, absolutely, fer shure, Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. As in, no doubt about it, positively, cross my heart and swear on a bottle of Jenna's favourite bourbon, as you can see from numerous quotes here.

But, as we've all seen lately, now that the WMDs appear to be as prevalent as ethics at a Tom DeLay fundraiser, the rationale has mysteriously shifted. "But", the wankers will say, "it was worth it to get rid of Saddam, wasn't it? Are you saying you'd rather have left him in power? Is that what you're suggesting?"

To which you can now properly respond, "Stop being such a complete asshole." Because, you see, regardless of what kind of bad man Saddam was, or how terribly he treated his own people, or how badly those people might have wanted democracy (if you can call what they have now "democracy"), none of that -- absolutely none of it -- represented what was repeatedly described as a grave, gathering, impending or imminent threat to the United States. None of it.

Which means -- therefore, thusly and QED -- that Admiral Bunnypants' "pre-emptive" invasion of Iraq was illegal in every possible way. No WMDs implies no imminent threat. No imminent threat implies no rationale for pre-emptive invasion. No rationale for pre-emptive invasion implies invasion was illegal, which implies (you guessed it) war criminal.

If you missed any part of that, I'd be delighted to type it again more slowly.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

"absolutely, fer shure, Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction."

You forgot the second part of his claim that is a seperate lie, "... and the means to deliver them..."

CC said...

Don't be absurd. Of course they had the means to deliver them! What the hell's wrong with you?! Don't you read the news?? We're all in terrible danger! We're all ...

Uh, wait a minute. Never mind:

"Powell's photo of a single, tiny unmanned aerial vehicle on skateboard wheels is a much-ridiculed UNSCOM picture from the mid-1990s."

Sorry. My mistake. Carry on.

Anonymous said...

The only problem with most (if not all) of the posting on these types of sites is the only FUCKING people who will ever see them are those who agree to you. It's called preaching to the converted.

Anonymous said...

Also, please bloody learn to spell, or, don't post here. The world will think the Canadian education has gone to hell.......Oh.

Anonymous said...

Preechin too the convurted is a millian doller biznes in nort amurka. ask Rush Limbagh and anne Collter or any one of there right wing copy cats. U got somtin agin lefty dittoheds! quit yer wynin.