Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Butt sex, as it were.


(CC NEWS) -- In a surprising legal decision handed down this morning, the Saskatchewan Court of Appeal ruled that current marriage commissioners in that province have the right to refuse to officiate at same-sex marriages, but only if those commissioners agree to have gay sex first.

"We think it's a particularly elegant solution," said one member of the Court, who preferred to remain unnamed. "It's based on this recent law out of Oklahoma that said that women who wanted to have abortions first had to view a sonogram of the fetus, and have all the details explained to them before making that decision."

"Bloody brilliant, we thought," continued the justice, "so we extended that idea to rule that, if marriage commissioners want to condemn same-sex marriage, they should first be required to participate in some butt sex. Rollicking good butt sex. I mean, naked, sweaty, steamy, tearing up the sheets ... uh ... sorry, where was I?"

Unsurprisingly, every one of Saskatchewan's marriage commissioners was outraged by the ruling, and vowed to fight it every massive, throbbing inch of the way to the Supreme Court of Canada, with the exception of commissioner Orville Nichols who, as the original defendant that inspired the current case, sat thoughtfully in the corner of the media room and was heard to mutter quietly to himself, "Well, let's not rule anything out."

2 comments:

Gallahad said...

And lets see who bites today.

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