Chronicles of Twatrick: My level of readership must be killing him.

I will never have to worry about the cost of housing since I live rent-free in Patrick's head:

I think the most pathetic thing about Patrick's tweets is his insistence on adding tears-laughing emojis to all of them as if they are the funniest things he's ever read.

Here's some advice, Patrick ... you're supposed to use those emojis for other peoples' tweets, not your own. Honestly, it's like Arnold Rimmer giving himself the nickname "Ace."