[Coutts, AB] Senior officers of Alberta RCMP retreated in the face of numerous truckers who refused to listen to them, explaining that they were going to consult their law enforcement manuals on how to deal with large numbers of uncooperative white people.
"We're in unknown territory here," insisted Lance Corporal Ensign Trooper Bubba "Bubba" McBeatdown. "We're checking our procedure manuals for how to deal with something like this. Take a look at these different subsections ... natives, blacks, Muslims, environmentalists ... but nothing about white people. It's a puzzler."
A spokesperson for Ottawa Police Services sympathized with the RCMP, adding, "It's beyond us to know how to react when white folks refuse to co-operate. So we're going out to find someone named Ahmed and beat the shit out of him until one of us has an idea."