(SASKATCHEWAN) -- In the midst of the still-raw tragedy involving the deaths of 16 members of the Humboldt Broncos junior hockey team, alt-right website and festering sewer of bigotry Rebel Media recently announced another inspired scheme to monetize everyone else's grief and emotional devastation.
Fresh off of using the discount code "BRONCOS" to pimp Rebel Media's subscriber-only "Premium Content" YouTube channel, Rebel Media correspondent and guy who hand-washes Ezra Levant's Koch brothers-themed thong underwear David Menzies announced The Rebel's latest moneymaker -- decks of playing cards featuring pictures of the deceased players in various poses playing hockey, enjoying life and lying on hospital gurneys.
Explained Menzies, "It's genius ... playing cards cost almost nothing to manufacture and we're pricing them to move at $15 a pack, so the markup is crazy awesome. We even charge for shipping. It's like a license to print money, I shit you not."
Menzies is cautiously optimistic about this new monetization scheme given the last couple of PR disasters for The Rebel, wherein two military charities refused to take donations from the media outlet due to the Rebel's being a bunch of shrieking, racist, Islamophobic nutbars.
"Yeah," explained Menzies," those last couple attempts at bragging about how humanitarian we are in giving away other peoples' money and taking the credit for it didn't end well, but I'm pretty sure we've got it nailed this time, and I can't wait for the opportunity to film another cheap, self-serving video of me giving the profits to a deserving recipient, my boss. I'm pretty sure he won't cause any trouble and he'll just take the cash."
Added Rebel's Alberta Bureau Chief and woman who needs only two more Dalmatians to complete her winter coat Sheila Gunn Reid, "Yeah, this is a real moneymaker, I can't believe we didn't think of it earlier. Man, we could use this kind of personal tragedy involving other peoples' kids more often, oh, shit, did I just say that out loud?"